[A silence comes over the small apartment after Soleum finishes speaking with both men staring at him. Choi is listening attentively, his head inclined as he explains the situation on his end, even as Soleum avoids either of their gazes. Jaekwan isn't as neutral, compared to how he usually is. First, with the sharp look he gave Agent Choi at the bluntness of his question, and then the confused one he gives Soleum at his eventual explanation.]
[Again the two agents' eyes meet, and something unspoken is said. Choi finally nods and sits back.]
The lives of the agents come first, for starters.
[So, that's kind of off topic, in his opinion. Even if Agent Choi is "that guy who always tries to save one more civilian," he does follow the rules when it comes to ranking who should be saved. Neither he nor Jaekwan are thrilled with the concept behind that, but they dutifully perform it despite that.]
I think the reason we're both pushing you - [Jaekwan interrupts with a flat, "I'm not pushing him."] Ah. Well, the reason I'm still pushing you is because it was obvious that you had a lot of fun. Neither of us have seen you like that about anything else. It feels like you're shutting us out because of something greater than... [He makes a vague sort of gesture, searching for the right word.] Workplace professionality. Does that make sense?
[He motions at Jaekwan suddenly, who blinks in surprise. He's not the focus right now, don't look at him when he can't keep the color of his face under control.] Jaekwan-ie, we never did anything like that before, did we? Well, maybe I touched your butt a few times - But it wasn't until Soleum-ah joined the team. It's kind of like... Kind of like we reached a new level of communication.
[Jaekwan doesn't respond, but from his expression he clearly doesn't disagree. Choi looks back at Soleum.]
But, nothing is going to change if you're being serious, but sometimes you'll say something like, "No, I've had enough," and then I'll give you more kkakdugi and you eat the whole serving. Isn't it better to be full than sated?
[Jaekwan looks particularly exhausted by this comparison but says nothing.]
[ The lives of the agents come first, for starters.
It was the wrong thing to say; he said it, anyway, permitting the correction. Offering his senior a lead-in to snap apart Soleum's reasoning like a cheap plastic toy. Hoping it'd cast doubt that a rookie who can't even remember one of the fundamental rules of being an agent could possibly maintain unclouded judgment while — coupling with them. Jaekwan's perspective was punctuated by each account in which Soleum had contributed to the success of the mission, the number of civilians brought home to safety…
But it's still difficult. To bear the affection underlying their rejection of what Soleum tells them without feeling the distinction between him and the agents even more.
Listening on, cool red eyes perch on Agent Choi's form. He has a lot to say — or rather, get off his chest? Is this part of this new level of communication of theirs? He tries to keep eye contact throughout, but at some point, he slips up, his frames tilting down his nose, watching Jaekwan, the wave of his scarred hands, anything else that isn't the cutting clarity in the senior agent's gaze.
When he's done, Soleum has nothing to say for a period. Merely sits there on the edge of the couch, the curve of his spine soldier-straight, unmoving. The seconds tick by until, quietly, a self-deprecating smile rises to his lips. ]
Is it that I'm not filled, or that you're aware I have a hard time saying no to you?
[ Except he's saying no right now, in no small thanks to Jaekwan sharing this propensity with him.
Soleum sets the grapeade aside on the table. He hasn't taken more than a single sip and likely shouldn't take anything further. ]
I've been serious this entire time, sir. Even if part of it has to do with a personal issue, that doesn't… [ No, go for something softer. ] I don't think it's something that can be solved by either of you.
[Soleum suggests he has a hard time saying no to him, and for the first time, even after getting smacked by a door, snapped at by Jaekwan, fighting hard to keep up a calm demeanor throughout this discussion... he frowns.]
[Choi's eyes fall to the grape ade, staring at it when it's set down on the table. He did give it to him despite his refusal over text, and he did goad him into coming here, into having this discussion against his wishes... And Jaekwan, it's clear he was fine with leaving sleeping dogs lie based on what he said before, but...]
[But, what? The simple fact of the matter is that he's selfish, right? That he wants to have his cake even when every crumb has been devoured. He wants Soleum and Jaekwan beside him, doesn't want to surrender that. The agents' lives come first, and even if he'll gladly risk his own hide to save one more civilian from peril, he'd never do it if it meant either of them getting hurt instead. Isn't he just selfish as hell?]
[But it's the "personal issue" line that gives him pause. If he's selfish, then Soleum... What is he? He's a little cagey, often refuses to reveal his entire hand until the last moment. He has so much going on that they can't even begin to imagine. But he's caring, too. There's a reason he passed the agent exam, that he wasn't knocked out by the Truth Breathing Machine. There's something pure in him. He wants to save people. He wants to do this work. Even if Choi has his suspicions about his allegiances, he's never suspected that he wasn't honest about that.]
[So the personal issue... It's what he said over text, right? The smile comes back, but it's not carefree or pasted on to allow for an air of calm. It's the kind of smile when someone finally admits there's a deeper pain that you knew they were hiding. He's a little relieved, to hear the same excuse repeated. He's not digging up random reasons to deny them. They must be at the bottom of his well.]
I told you, right? This doesn't have to mean anything... but there's still a greater meaning to it.
[Jaekwan's brows furrow, clearly not understanding what Choi means by that... but it's okay. He'll make a diagram for him later.]
Even if we can't solve your problems, we can still help you carry them.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
[Again the two agents' eyes meet, and something unspoken is said. Choi finally nods and sits back.]
The lives of the agents come first, for starters.
[So, that's kind of off topic, in his opinion. Even if Agent Choi is "that guy who always tries to save one more civilian," he does follow the rules when it comes to ranking who should be saved. Neither he nor Jaekwan are thrilled with the concept behind that, but they dutifully perform it despite that.]
I think the reason we're both pushing you - [Jaekwan interrupts with a flat, "I'm not pushing him."] Ah. Well, the reason I'm still pushing you is because it was obvious that you had a lot of fun. Neither of us have seen you like that about anything else. It feels like you're shutting us out because of something greater than... [He makes a vague sort of gesture, searching for the right word.] Workplace professionality. Does that make sense?
[He motions at Jaekwan suddenly, who blinks in surprise. He's not the focus right now, don't look at him when he can't keep the color of his face under control.] Jaekwan-ie, we never did anything like that before, did we? Well, maybe I touched your butt a few times - But it wasn't until Soleum-ah joined the team. It's kind of like... Kind of like we reached a new level of communication.
[Jaekwan doesn't respond, but from his expression he clearly doesn't disagree. Choi looks back at Soleum.]
But, nothing is going to change if you're being serious, but sometimes you'll say something like, "No, I've had enough," and then I'll give you more kkakdugi and you eat the whole serving. Isn't it better to be full than sated?
[Jaekwan looks particularly exhausted by this comparison but says nothing.]
no subject
It was the wrong thing to say; he said it, anyway, permitting the correction. Offering his senior a lead-in to snap apart Soleum's reasoning like a cheap plastic toy. Hoping it'd cast doubt that a rookie who can't even remember one of the fundamental rules of being an agent could possibly maintain unclouded judgment while — coupling with them. Jaekwan's perspective was punctuated by each account in which Soleum had contributed to the success of the mission, the number of civilians brought home to safety…
But it's still difficult. To bear the affection underlying their rejection of what Soleum tells them without feeling the distinction between him and the agents even more.
Listening on, cool red eyes perch on Agent Choi's form. He has a lot to say — or rather, get off his chest? Is this part of this new level of communication of theirs? He tries to keep eye contact throughout, but at some point, he slips up, his frames tilting down his nose, watching Jaekwan, the wave of his scarred hands, anything else that isn't the cutting clarity in the senior agent's gaze.
When he's done, Soleum has nothing to say for a period. Merely sits there on the edge of the couch, the curve of his spine soldier-straight, unmoving. The seconds tick by until, quietly, a self-deprecating smile rises to his lips. ]
Is it that I'm not filled, or that you're aware I have a hard time saying no to you?
[ Except he's saying no right now, in no small thanks to Jaekwan sharing this propensity with him.
Soleum sets the grapeade aside on the table. He hasn't taken more than a single sip and likely shouldn't take anything further. ]
I've been serious this entire time, sir. Even if part of it has to do with a personal issue, that doesn't… [ No, go for something softer. ] I don't think it's something that can be solved by either of you.
no subject
[Choi's eyes fall to the grape ade, staring at it when it's set down on the table. He did give it to him despite his refusal over text, and he did goad him into coming here, into having this discussion against his wishes... And Jaekwan, it's clear he was fine with leaving sleeping dogs lie based on what he said before, but...]
[But, what? The simple fact of the matter is that he's selfish, right? That he wants to have his cake even when every crumb has been devoured. He wants Soleum and Jaekwan beside him, doesn't want to surrender that. The agents' lives come first, and even if he'll gladly risk his own hide to save one more civilian from peril, he'd never do it if it meant either of them getting hurt instead. Isn't he just selfish as hell?]
[But it's the "personal issue" line that gives him pause. If he's selfish, then Soleum... What is he? He's a little cagey, often refuses to reveal his entire hand until the last moment. He has so much going on that they can't even begin to imagine. But he's caring, too. There's a reason he passed the agent exam, that he wasn't knocked out by the Truth Breathing Machine. There's something pure in him. He wants to save people. He wants to do this work. Even if Choi has his suspicions about his allegiances, he's never suspected that he wasn't honest about that.]
[So the personal issue... It's what he said over text, right? The smile comes back, but it's not carefree or pasted on to allow for an air of calm. It's the kind of smile when someone finally admits there's a deeper pain that you knew they were hiding. He's a little relieved, to hear the same excuse repeated. He's not digging up random reasons to deny them. They must be at the bottom of his well.]
I told you, right? This doesn't have to mean anything... but there's still a greater meaning to it.
[Jaekwan's brows furrow, clearly not understanding what Choi means by that... but it's okay. He'll make a diagram for him later.]
Even if we can't solve your problems, we can still help you carry them.