[ The lives of the agents come first, for starters.
It was the wrong thing to say; he said it, anyway, permitting the correction. Offering his senior a lead-in to snap apart Soleum's reasoning like a cheap plastic toy. Hoping it'd cast doubt that a rookie who can't even remember one of the fundamental rules of being an agent could possibly maintain unclouded judgment while — coupling with them. Jaekwan's perspective was punctuated by each account in which Soleum had contributed to the success of the mission, the number of civilians brought home to safety…
But it's still difficult. To bear the affection underlying their rejection of what Soleum tells them without feeling the distinction between him and the agents even more.
Listening on, cool red eyes perch on Agent Choi's form. He has a lot to say — or rather, get off his chest? Is this part of this new level of communication of theirs? He tries to keep eye contact throughout, but at some point, he slips up, his frames tilting down his nose, watching Jaekwan, the wave of his scarred hands, anything else that isn't the cutting clarity in the senior agent's gaze.
When he's done, Soleum has nothing to say for a period. Merely sits there on the edge of the couch, the curve of his spine soldier-straight, unmoving. The seconds tick by until, quietly, a self-deprecating smile rises to his lips. ]
Is it that I'm not filled, or that you're aware I have a hard time saying no to you?
[ Except he's saying no right now, in no small thanks to Jaekwan sharing this propensity with him.
Soleum sets the grapeade aside on the table. He hasn't taken more than a single sip and likely shouldn't take anything further. ]
I've been serious this entire time, sir. Even if part of it has to do with a personal issue, that doesn't… [ No, go for something softer. ] I don't think it's something that can be solved by either of you.
[Soleum suggests he has a hard time saying no to him, and for the first time, even after getting smacked by a door, snapped at by Jaekwan, fighting hard to keep up a calm demeanor throughout this discussion... he frowns.]
[Choi's eyes fall to the grape ade, staring at it when it's set down on the table. He did give it to him despite his refusal over text, and he did goad him into coming here, into having this discussion against his wishes... And Jaekwan, it's clear he was fine with leaving sleeping dogs lie based on what he said before, but...]
[But, what? The simple fact of the matter is that he's selfish, right? That he wants to have his cake even when every crumb has been devoured. He wants Soleum and Jaekwan beside him, doesn't want to surrender that. The agents' lives come first, and even if he'll gladly risk his own hide to save one more civilian from peril, he'd never do it if it meant either of them getting hurt instead. Isn't he just selfish as hell?]
[But it's the "personal issue" line that gives him pause. If he's selfish, then Soleum... What is he? He's a little cagey, often refuses to reveal his entire hand until the last moment. He has so much going on that they can't even begin to imagine. But he's caring, too. There's a reason he passed the agent exam, that he wasn't knocked out by the Truth Breathing Machine. There's something pure in him. He wants to save people. He wants to do this work. Even if Choi has his suspicions about his allegiances, he's never suspected that he wasn't honest about that.]
[So the personal issue... It's what he said over text, right? The smile comes back, but it's not carefree or pasted on to allow for an air of calm. It's the kind of smile when someone finally admits there's a deeper pain that you knew they were hiding. He's a little relieved, to hear the same excuse repeated. He's not digging up random reasons to deny them. They must be at the bottom of his well.]
I told you, right? This doesn't have to mean anything... but there's still a greater meaning to it.
[Jaekwan's brows furrow, clearly not understanding what Choi means by that... but it's okay. He'll make a diagram for him later.]
Even if we can't solve your problems, we can still help you carry them.
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no subject
It was the wrong thing to say; he said it, anyway, permitting the correction. Offering his senior a lead-in to snap apart Soleum's reasoning like a cheap plastic toy. Hoping it'd cast doubt that a rookie who can't even remember one of the fundamental rules of being an agent could possibly maintain unclouded judgment while — coupling with them. Jaekwan's perspective was punctuated by each account in which Soleum had contributed to the success of the mission, the number of civilians brought home to safety…
But it's still difficult. To bear the affection underlying their rejection of what Soleum tells them without feeling the distinction between him and the agents even more.
Listening on, cool red eyes perch on Agent Choi's form. He has a lot to say — or rather, get off his chest? Is this part of this new level of communication of theirs? He tries to keep eye contact throughout, but at some point, he slips up, his frames tilting down his nose, watching Jaekwan, the wave of his scarred hands, anything else that isn't the cutting clarity in the senior agent's gaze.
When he's done, Soleum has nothing to say for a period. Merely sits there on the edge of the couch, the curve of his spine soldier-straight, unmoving. The seconds tick by until, quietly, a self-deprecating smile rises to his lips. ]
Is it that I'm not filled, or that you're aware I have a hard time saying no to you?
[ Except he's saying no right now, in no small thanks to Jaekwan sharing this propensity with him.
Soleum sets the grapeade aside on the table. He hasn't taken more than a single sip and likely shouldn't take anything further. ]
I've been serious this entire time, sir. Even if part of it has to do with a personal issue, that doesn't… [ No, go for something softer. ] I don't think it's something that can be solved by either of you.
no subject
[Choi's eyes fall to the grape ade, staring at it when it's set down on the table. He did give it to him despite his refusal over text, and he did goad him into coming here, into having this discussion against his wishes... And Jaekwan, it's clear he was fine with leaving sleeping dogs lie based on what he said before, but...]
[But, what? The simple fact of the matter is that he's selfish, right? That he wants to have his cake even when every crumb has been devoured. He wants Soleum and Jaekwan beside him, doesn't want to surrender that. The agents' lives come first, and even if he'll gladly risk his own hide to save one more civilian from peril, he'd never do it if it meant either of them getting hurt instead. Isn't he just selfish as hell?]
[But it's the "personal issue" line that gives him pause. If he's selfish, then Soleum... What is he? He's a little cagey, often refuses to reveal his entire hand until the last moment. He has so much going on that they can't even begin to imagine. But he's caring, too. There's a reason he passed the agent exam, that he wasn't knocked out by the Truth Breathing Machine. There's something pure in him. He wants to save people. He wants to do this work. Even if Choi has his suspicions about his allegiances, he's never suspected that he wasn't honest about that.]
[So the personal issue... It's what he said over text, right? The smile comes back, but it's not carefree or pasted on to allow for an air of calm. It's the kind of smile when someone finally admits there's a deeper pain that you knew they were hiding. He's a little relieved, to hear the same excuse repeated. He's not digging up random reasons to deny them. They must be at the bottom of his well.]
I told you, right? This doesn't have to mean anything... but there's still a greater meaning to it.
[Jaekwan's brows furrow, clearly not understanding what Choi means by that... but it's okay. He'll make a diagram for him later.]
Even if we can't solve your problems, we can still help you carry them.