[ In reality, he was afraid this was the direction Agent Choi was steering the conversation. But by staying put for a while longer, not excusing himself when he could, Soleum essentially gave him a free window to ask. After hounding him so long to stay as a permanent addition to the team, it's a given he would want to hear how he's faring… That's the job of his role on the team. Soleum understands that; he just wishes he had something easy to help him evade answering, honestly or dishonestly. It was easier when he could fall back on his initial struggle of trying to transfer out from the team.
Which leaves him with the question, now that some time has passed: What would the rookie of Black Tortoise 1, their Kim Soleum, say?
Scooted to the edge of his seat so that he's able to more conveniently reach the to-go box, it's not hard to avoid Agent Choi's gaze. He takes his time chewing on more rice cake, staring ahead at nothing in particular. ]
What does 'belong completely' mean to you, Agent Choi? Because I'm still not sure yet… I spent a long time at my previous company working toward a goal I wanted to give myself to in that same way, but…
[ Soleum shakes his head, as if to dismiss one of his darker thoughts. ]
I know the bureau and this team aren't a place like that. If possible, I'd like to continue understanding why that is.
[He can't help but chuckle when Soleum shakes his head, at the vague mention of that sham company. He picks up the second to last rice cake, squeezing it between his chopsticks and dragging it through the sauce.]
It's kind of like the boy from today, isn't it?
[He pops the rice cake into his mouth, speaking while eating.]
Many things linger in life because of their attachment to some sentimental object. Like a bicycle - Or even a bouquet, left by a mourner. A lot of things can trigger ghosts and spirits to hang back, and to cling to this world. But they can't take them with them - so all they end up doing is causing pointless pain.
[Small or large, that's their effect. Either through certain death or the annoyance of a lost bike, those supernatural hanger-ons are nothing but nuisances for them. Yet they're all based in sadness.]
When I think about it like that, it makes me appreciate the things I have right now. This space, my team, the faith people have in me... Those are things I can't bring with me when I have to be the one to move on. Even if I want them.
[As a function of this job, he thinks about his death more than most people. Rightly or wrongly, he assumes others like him are the same in that respect.]
...Maybe this is cruel, Soleum-ah, but when you move on, I hope that you remember this room. And me, too.
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Which leaves him with the question, now that some time has passed: What would the rookie of Black Tortoise 1, their Kim Soleum, say?
Scooted to the edge of his seat so that he's able to more conveniently reach the to-go box, it's not hard to avoid Agent Choi's gaze. He takes his time chewing on more rice cake, staring ahead at nothing in particular. ]
What does 'belong completely' mean to you, Agent Choi? Because I'm still not sure yet… I spent a long time at my previous company working toward a goal I wanted to give myself to in that same way, but…
[ Soleum shakes his head, as if to dismiss one of his darker thoughts. ]
I know the bureau and this team aren't a place like that. If possible, I'd like to continue understanding why that is.
[ Let's take on the mask of someone with hope. ]
no subject
[He can't help but chuckle when Soleum shakes his head, at the vague mention of that sham company. He picks up the second to last rice cake, squeezing it between his chopsticks and dragging it through the sauce.]
It's kind of like the boy from today, isn't it?
[He pops the rice cake into his mouth, speaking while eating.]
Many things linger in life because of their attachment to some sentimental object. Like a bicycle - Or even a bouquet, left by a mourner. A lot of things can trigger ghosts and spirits to hang back, and to cling to this world. But they can't take them with them - so all they end up doing is causing pointless pain.
[Small or large, that's their effect. Either through certain death or the annoyance of a lost bike, those supernatural hanger-ons are nothing but nuisances for them. Yet they're all based in sadness.]
When I think about it like that, it makes me appreciate the things I have right now. This space, my team, the faith people have in me... Those are things I can't bring with me when I have to be the one to move on. Even if I want them.
[As a function of this job, he thinks about his death more than most people. Rightly or wrongly, he assumes others like him are the same in that respect.]
...Maybe this is cruel, Soleum-ah, but when you move on, I hope that you remember this room. And me, too.