[Like it's as easy as a ball of paper tossed from across the room, Soleum dodges the question. Choi's expression doesn't change, watching him, studying him - searching for the actual reply, the truth below it all. Why someone like him would put so much work into this department. This team. If someone like him who Choi has seen make reckless, selfless decisions so often would really be a cruel person. If someone who balks at a simple question about wanting to be craved could be capable of the terrible things he knows that scam of a business does.]
[He blinks out of the thoughts when the beer splashes and habitually reaches forward to help, but stills as Soleum recovers. He begins to lean to the side to fetch a pile of napkins left in the tteokbokki box but he only sets his hand on top of them when he starts giving more of a reply. Something more... Soleum-like. The kind of reply he was actually expecting, rather than the stale, bland one he first gave him.]
...What's with that - You think I'm not strong enough to pull us both out?
[He grins, looking a little smug. It's a facade, naturally, but it's fine for now.]
I've heard of that before. I don't think it works for people, though. We aren't mindless seafood, Soleum-ah, we all work together to better each other.
[He finally holds out the napkins but doesn't give them up, instead taking the chance to press them into his shirt, blotting at the spilled beer and reaching for his sticky hand next, still gleaming with the result of his own attempt to clean up.]
If I get drunk and Jaekwan-ie has to carry me home, he doesn't scold me for dragging him back into the bucket, right? You know?
[Like that's at all the same as what he's asking of Soleum. Like spending a tipsy night hanging off your junior's shoulder is the same as wanting your maknae to remember you when you're inevitably gone. Slowly he drags the napkin over his fingers, squeezing his wrist to keep him still as he speaks. If he gets up to get water or something stupid, he really might tackle him - so once his hand is dry he tosses the napkins to instead thread their fingers together. No escape now.]
Besides, what if outside the bucket is the deep fryer? [He rolls his thumb along the underside of Soleum's thumb, still looking at him with that hollow, default smirk.] You wouldn't feel bad for letting me go?
[ Everywhere is a deep fryer when you're in the Dispatch & Rescue Unit, he considers saying, but again, it'd be too obvious that he's deflecting the point. That he's trying too hard to ignore the edge of his thumbnail tracing down the sticky curve of his thumb to his palm. Their hands, interlaced with the vice of a crab's pincer. How it made the nerves underneath his wet shirt jump when the agent pressed down on his chest. He's rattled, he's sweating, and he has no idea what the agent is asking of him — if he's even asking, or just demanding it of him, at this point.
His fingers curl, putting up a weak struggle that ultimately goes nowhere, leaving their hands pressed wrist to wrist, veins against veins. This Agent Choi reminds him of the one he encountered in the Faceless Market, cornering him in a place he wasn't supposed to be. Like he's close to hitting gold after picking and wearing away at all of Soleum's locks and deadbolts.
But even back then, it hadn't been gold, he'd been after. It was something else. His dokkaebi hand rises, coming up as if to fend off the expectation in his senior's gaze. ]
If I had a bad feeling, I wouldn't let you go in blind. I'd leave everything I have to you…
[ That's how it comes out. A strained answer, at the end of his rope. ]
But you — you're not someone who changes his mind easily. If you were trying to leave to somewhere where you knew nothing about the risks, there must be a reason for it. Someone you could help. It wouldn't feel right to keep you away from that.
[ Behind his hand, Soleum body hunches into himself, his head hanging low as a frustrated sigh pushes out from him. ]
Ah, really! I-I wish you weren't so stubborn. Do you always have to go this far to push me around…?
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[He blinks out of the thoughts when the beer splashes and habitually reaches forward to help, but stills as Soleum recovers. He begins to lean to the side to fetch a pile of napkins left in the tteokbokki box but he only sets his hand on top of them when he starts giving more of a reply. Something more... Soleum-like. The kind of reply he was actually expecting, rather than the stale, bland one he first gave him.]
...What's with that - You think I'm not strong enough to pull us both out?
[He grins, looking a little smug. It's a facade, naturally, but it's fine for now.]
I've heard of that before. I don't think it works for people, though. We aren't mindless seafood, Soleum-ah, we all work together to better each other.
[He finally holds out the napkins but doesn't give them up, instead taking the chance to press them into his shirt, blotting at the spilled beer and reaching for his sticky hand next, still gleaming with the result of his own attempt to clean up.]
If I get drunk and Jaekwan-ie has to carry me home, he doesn't scold me for dragging him back into the bucket, right? You know?
[Like that's at all the same as what he's asking of Soleum. Like spending a tipsy night hanging off your junior's shoulder is the same as wanting your maknae to remember you when you're inevitably gone. Slowly he drags the napkin over his fingers, squeezing his wrist to keep him still as he speaks. If he gets up to get water or something stupid, he really might tackle him - so once his hand is dry he tosses the napkins to instead thread their fingers together. No escape now.]
Besides, what if outside the bucket is the deep fryer? [He rolls his thumb along the underside of Soleum's thumb, still looking at him with that hollow, default smirk.] You wouldn't feel bad for letting me go?
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His fingers curl, putting up a weak struggle that ultimately goes nowhere, leaving their hands pressed wrist to wrist, veins against veins. This Agent Choi reminds him of the one he encountered in the Faceless Market, cornering him in a place he wasn't supposed to be. Like he's close to hitting gold after picking and wearing away at all of Soleum's locks and deadbolts.
But even back then, it hadn't been gold, he'd been after. It was something else. His dokkaebi hand rises, coming up as if to fend off the expectation in his senior's gaze. ]
If I had a bad feeling, I wouldn't let you go in blind. I'd leave everything I have to you…
[ That's how it comes out. A strained answer, at the end of his rope. ]
But you — you're not someone who changes his mind easily. If you were trying to leave to somewhere where you knew nothing about the risks, there must be a reason for it. Someone you could help. It wouldn't feel right to keep you away from that.
[ Behind his hand, Soleum body hunches into himself, his head hanging low as a frustrated sigh pushes out from him. ]
Ah, really! I-I wish you weren't so stubborn. Do you always have to go this far to push me around…?