[The sensation of Soleum choking around him shoots a spark of panic through Choi, his eyes springing wide and the hand on his cheek suddenly reaching toward his elbow, ready to tug him back or do something, to coax him back, settle himself - but his hand flinches in hesitation all the same, captivated by the sight. Soleum with his mouth full of him, his lips wrapped around his length, his tongue pressed along the underside, eyes clenched shut, little tears welling up in the corners. The humming whimper when his coughs subside should be criminal. He reaches a little further with the intent to find his other hand and it's only then he realizes... it's gone. The goblin has flown the coop for the night.]
[...Probably for the best, as the further down Soleum gets, the more lewd the whole scene sounds. If it's not from the wet sound of his mouth and tongue, the saliva coating him and the brief suckling noises as he works his way and occasionally adjusts around it, then the sound of Choi's heavier breaths, the shudders as he parts his lips, the low groans when he closes them - those are all fit for a porno, not a quaint office like this. Not that he's never imagined it. Not that he's never pictured these same noises but in reverse, Soleum gripping the edge of the desk as his body is wracked with shivers and Choi swallows him down noisily and lewdly, eager to hear him lose himself, to break more sounds out of him.]
[...He only imagined it once or twice, though.]
Hah, Soleum -
[He doesn't know what to do with him all the way down, because the instinct is to thrust toward where it feels tightest and warmest, but with his cock pressed against the top of his mouth it keeps that temptation at bay for the moment. What he really wants to do is touch him in return, his hand flailing a little without something to hold onto or somewhere to go so he sets it on top of his head. Not pushing, not pulling - at first. He smooths his hair down, combs it out of his face. When his eyes open and Choi sees the slightly uncomfortable look... It's the angle, he recognizes, the way the head of his cock presses against the back of his palate. He moves, slowly, his leg sliding out to warn him of the impending motion before he gently attempts to straighten out the angle and search for something more pleasing - ]
Aha -
[ - Which is along the flat of his tonuge, toward the tempting heat of his throat, the tighter warmth that's dripping wet and perfectly lubricated for a thrust, just a single guiding motion, and Choi pushes forward without letting himself think too deeply and if the hand in his hair grips a little tighter to keep him from redirecting during that motion - He's just turned on, okay? His hand quickly loosens after that first push and he quickly says,] Sorry, sorry - [And guides himself back. But there's no hiding the way his eyes dilated a little at that smoother, faster push.]
[ Soleum senses a subtle turning in his mouth. The bump of Agent Choi's foot to the back of his leg.
His always-racing mind accepts the following supposition as easily as it supplies it: Ah, he's finished with me.
The thought is only there for a microscopic second. In and out, a cockroach flitting between the veil of a shelf that carries all his understanding of the Dark Exploration Records to some other dreary recess inside his head. But like a feline pouncing out at just the right time to overturn the crawling thing on its back, he recognizes the successive tight-knuckled twist pulling at his scalp for some fashion of desire. Reminds himself of the fragmented noises singing from the agent just a moment ago. He likes what they're doing, thinks a misguided night like this is worth it, wants Soleum touching him for reasons he can't dissect here. Possibly not ever, if he hopes to complete the conditions of his infiltration, but that's neither here nor there…
The tension in his jaw slackens as Agent Choi holds him inert, the rounded edges of his mouth widening even more to take him in. The feel of warm cock clearing past his tonsils, dragging against that dark back exit opening into his throat. The pressure shrinks his airway; it was a challenge to breathe before, but in that brief instant his forehead is nearly flush to his pelvis, a faint gurgle rises from Soleum, traces of translucent spittle gathering at the far corners of his lips, eyes dimming. Agent Choi retreats soon after, apologizes, but he can't for the life of him understand why.
Initially, Soleum thought he might want more time to acclimate to this type of intimacy. Savor it. He still aches for that — more time to enjoy the weight of his senior tying him down. But also, when Agent Choi stares at him, breathless and feverish, unabashedly exerting a patience he's never known him to have to avoid bucking into his mouth… He half wants to believe that he's doing this on purpose, that it's strategic. But he knows better, knows that line of reasoning is for his own convenience. That he can't help his own temptation to give in to what Agent Choi wants without an excuse like that. What else does he have to offer him, anyway? Nothing he does now will make up for how Soleum's going to stain him, this team, the people who sat here on this couch before him and pondered what would happen after they left the waiting room. Maybe this preemptive consolation will only make matters worse. Maybe he's just consoling himself at the end of the day.
Hand closed around the agent's thigh, Soleum sweeps up to the top of his moistened dick without haste, parting ways from it for a quick inhale puffing past his lips, barely any wait between as he sinks back down into him. Agent Choi will notice that he dips back-and-forth along the span of his cock with greater urgency, the rush disarranging his bangs, getting in the way his eyes, but not the heavy strokes of his tongue. Clinging to Agent Choi as if attempting to take the stretch of his skin with him, whichever direction he's bobbing in.
It's a pace he sets, but it's not one he imagines sustaining for too long — or being able to — so it's then the placement of his fingers inch lower, trusting Agent Choi to hold him up, even if it's by the roots of his hair. He skims under the soft bounce of his balls but decides to pass them over to cross his perineum, dipping into the slick of his slobber that's sloped down the crevice, and landing at the outset of his rim. Just the tip of his finger teases his hole, shallowly bridging inside. Like everything else he's done tonight thus far, it's his first time. Is this how you do it? ]
[That was dangerous, Choi thinks. He almost got too into it. Scared him off. Soleum pulls fully off and Choi exhales a breath he had no idea was stuck in his lungs and expects a pause. Expects he'll need a second to refresh, to take a break. He had no expectation that he's going to dive right back down and start going even harder.]
[How he expects to hold a pace like that is beyond him, but it's also not really something he's thinking about or trying to math out. He can't. The feeling of his lips around him is mind-boggling. The way he sucks down on him, how they go tight the further down he goes and then pull closed just a bit more when retreating to the tip, the sound of his spit slurping against him, the warm-cold-warm of his mouth being replaced by the stark chill of the office the moment it's pulled away. The sight. The sight of it. Soleum focused on one thing, tackling one task to its completion. He's always been such a focused guy, so dedicated to his task and never giving up even after things approach top speed. Is this the exact same to him?]
[He's not even feeling his hand moving, the inch of his fingers downward. Choi can't think about anything but the sight he can see, the dip-pull of his mouth, can't even think about the groans and sounds spilling from his mouth. How he can't even keep his grasp on his hair, gave up on that the moment the strength left his body. But then he feels the sudden press inward and sucks in the breath he let out what feels like ages ago. His eyes go wide. His leg jerks and pulls upward, to the side. Granting space.]
That...
[Of all the things he thought Soleum would do in this encounter, that one didn't even make it on the bottom of the list.]
[It's also suddenly given his empty, longing hand something to do. Choi whips it down to his thigh and pulls it open, his back shifting to allow more room to do so. Somehow the shock of the intrusion has woken him out of the spell for enough time to process something about what's happened, that Soleum responded with intensity to that initial tug. He hasn't forgotten the words he said that hit him hardest, that this is his first time, that he's "never done this before" (oh, god, never done this before...). But he also can't ignore the reaction he gave to that harsher tug and gliding of his cock and - and this is for both of them, isn't it? He wants Soleum to feel good, too. He wants him to enjoy this. And even though he sputtered and choked and gagged and drooled around him, even though his eyes went a little dark, he... He definitely had to have enjoyed that.]
Soleum-ah - Want me to...?
[But he doesn't wait for an actual answer, his fingers simply tightening in his hair to give him a warning before he tugs him downward an inch further, testing the motion, salivating in the feeling of him going lower before pulling him back, then goes again a little lower. And again. He doesn't take over his pace, doesn't change his speed or anything, but instead uses his leverage to simply pull him down further on each dip, feels that tightening in his throat and the warm glide along his tongue. Then releases, every time, even lets him pull back, himself, if he wants. But his hand doesn't leave either way, ready to do it again once he's recovered.]
[ Yes, would have been his answer — yes, twist your fingers into my hair. Yes, pull me, push me, grind me down until I feel your skin like a blush on my cheeks. Yes, you can do whatever you want. His only stipulation would have been that it not hurt, not too long or too much. And as if the two of them are in lockstep, Agent Choi seems to intuit this, seems aware exactly how far Soleum's willing to lose himself in-between the palm bearing down on his head and the cock deepening past his molars with each rushed swallow.
His throat is burning. It's different from all the other times. Different from Tamra Express, where even with the Happy Maker numbing his pain receptors, he knew something terrible was happening to his body. With this, he doesn't need a painkiller; it hurts, the pressure is excruciating, but…
Does he like it? Is he enjoying it?
The answer to those questions doesn't come easily to Soleum, but he's reminded this is something he's choosing to do of his own accord every time he moves and the muscles along his airway flex, flinch, pinch. All the assorted molecules in his body aching and hopping with the effort, all of him reaching for it.
Is this how you do it, Soleum thinks, twice now. A simple push is the only thing it takes for his index finger to slowly follow the warm ridge inside of Agent Choi. He never would have pegged the older man as someone keen on being attended to, spoiled, considering how more interested he appears to be in doting on his juniors, but when his leg thigh parts, he can feel his wet entrance widening around the digit. His thumb pad rubs around the rim at first, assessing if it's enough for him to nudge his middle finger into the narrowed stretch, and thankfully it is. Another push, just as slow as the first, a shipwreck sinking to the ocean floor; he can't quite manage the same attentiveness with this as what he's doing above water, unfortunately. The majority of his concentration is nearly spent on remembering to breathe as his cock touches home at that back crook of his throat, hits that spot. In and out. Back and forth.
Not good.
His hand has to briefly pause as the nauseating reflex to cough Agent Choi out takes hold. ] Hh — mmnn — [ It sounds more like a moan than Soleum struggling to take him at that depth, but with a squeeze of his eyes he trains his thoughts elsewhere. Right, the age-old trick of thinking of something else. His fingers swivel, looking for the best angle before retreating slightly, then sliding back into the agent. Soleum's brow furrows. He doesn't reach his prostrate yet with that one, so he does it again, this time bending his fingers in search — ah, is that it? There? It's rounder than everything else, soft and fleshy. He must be at least hitting the very bottom of it.
He squints his eyes open, checking through his eyelashes for a response from Agent Choi, while he inches his fingertips inward, massaging against him. But he's downed him to the point that the only thing he can see is the light sheen of sweat glinting off his toned stomach. How disappointing. ]
[His thumb presses against the rim and Choi groans when his middle finger joins the first one already there. His fingers flinch tighter and drag Soleum down and hold him, just a moment longer, before he releases him and lets him retreat. He feels foggy. He feels hot. Soleum keeps pushing in and twisting his fingers and it's tight, really rough, his precome and spit are the only means to lubricate his motions and the combined mouthwatering sensation of his throat closing around him is just - He's - Shit, did he just touch his - ?!]
Ha, wait - [A nervous laugh comes with his gasped plea as Choi tugs him fully back, releasing his hair to quickly grasp his own prick and smooth down to the base, as if he can stop it from trying to follow the loss of Soleum's warmth with flinching little jerks. He needs to recenter himself. He can't just finish like that, he needs to - ] Gra - No, Soleum-ah, if you do that, I'm going to finish, yeah?
[He's grinning but there's a thick seam of tension in his brow, like he's holding an enormous weight and keeping it from crushing the both of them. Staring at Soleum's red lips and the drool mixed with his own pre on his chin isn't helping him manage that feat. The fingers in his ass are a little too far, on top of that sight. Reaching down to coax them out as he sits up, he instead tries to pull Soleum upright with him, tugs him over his lap, seeking his proximity. He's not at all concerned about swapping spit despite where his mouth has been, but he also recognizes he needs to explain this to his apparently virginal hubae. If only he could kiss and talk at the same time.]
If you go any further, I won't last, so... [His hands begin to undo the close of his pants and slide them off, even pulls his underwear down with them, and Choi speaks as he works:] It's my turn to be a little greedy - So, can I touch you here, too?
[His dick actually hurts a little with how he's denied himself, how he could have let Soleum keep going and jab against that ball of nerves inside him a few more times and he would have spilled right down his throat, made him choke on it and watched him flail and sputter around him. He would have held him down and groaned through it, selfish and needy and possessive. But no. No, he can't do that to him. He wants Soleum to get just as much, if not more, pleasure out of this than him. If that means denying himself until he can send him over the edge and watch him melt in his arms, that's more than worth it.]
If I put it in, you'd probably hurt a lot... [His voice is quiet as he reaches to wrap a hand around him, seeks out how hard he's gotten as he imagines him whimpering on top of him, what his body must feel like right this moment, untouched and unopened... No, that's too cruel. They don't have any tools or materials. Choi wouldn't do that to him. No, he'll be good.] Can you be content with this?
[ Chin engulfed in drool, Soleum concedes to the forceful hand dragging him so low it's almost as if he's being commanded to bow to him, to supplicate the way a street-corner evangelist might for mercy to their god ahead of the end days. Is that who Agent Choi wants him to be right now? Someone tractable, willing to believe anything, willing to stretch the skin of his lips and pull apart his jaw as far as he'll go to take him in? Because he's already there. He could have covered plastic wrap clear across his face, around the back of his head, back over again, and right that second, he would have continued pressing forward through his own suffocation.
Like a vase crashing to the ground, pouring out all the water inside, an excess of air all of a sudden drowns his lungs. Pushed back from him, the slightly pruned tips of his fingers twitching at his side, Soleum's next handful of breaths scrape out stickily, honey pulled from the hive. If it weren't for this, he would have been telling him that's the point. Agent Choi is supposed to feel good, he's supposed to finish. He said he wanted what his partner — what Soleum wanted, and that was it. That was his sole selfish wish from all of this. ]
Agent — [ A gasp seethes through his teeth, unable to fend off his kisses, the jerk of his hips being pulled over his senior's legs. Not even the disposal of his trousers and briefs. In a trance, he can only watch unsteadily as his partially erect penis jumps, pulsing in reaction to Agent Choi's palm tensing around him, ghosting along the curve. Gentler than the grip he had on his head earlier. The more he touches him, the more Soleum fills in his hand —
The pats at Agent Choi's shoulder rapidly crescendo into firm claps, then a shove at his shoulder, as he simultaneously slides back off him, his foot landing on the floor, his only hand raised as if to signal that he needs a moment. He can scarcely calm his breathing, blinking as if it's taken this moment to just now come to. He licks his lips, which are already wet from the number he's done on Agent Choi, but he couldn't care less. ]
It's fine, [ Soleum says, lowly, without saying the other half of what he's thinking about his question. What he's content with. ] Really, I want to help you finish. I can take care of myself — [ his mouth thins, briefly, a few different ideas materializing, ones that he shouldn't voice for the type of pitying stare it might earn him — ] elsewhere.
[He can tell it's good, that Soleum is growing thicker in his hand and it only encourages Choi onward, even as he chokes on his title and starts patting his shoulder incessantly, like trying in vain to shoo a stray dog. He thinks he must be getting overwhelmed by the sudden shift and so his hand slows, grip a little tighter to make up for it, and then all at once Soleum is shoving him back and stumbling to his feet. Hand up with all five fingers splayed. Agent Choi stares at him with wide eyes.]
That's... Huh?
[Wait, what?]
[Again it's like his words repeat in his mind, over and over to dig into the sand and set roots in the soil. "I can take care of myself elsewhere..." Wait, he can take care of himself? Elsewhere? Choi stares at him in total confusion as he processes those words. Somehow they plant less effectively than the one about him being a virgin.]
[But, right, he is a virgin, isn't he? Is that the issue, here? He doesn't understand the flow of this, how it's not as simple as completing one task and following up with the second. He needs more of a demonstration, if anything.]
Soleum-ah... That's not how it works.
[He reaches out to him to try and coax him back over, back into his lap as he sets his feet on the floor and parts his legs. His dick is still hard, still slick with Soleum's spit.]
This isn't like how you do it when you're by yourself - It's not just about getting to the finish line, okay? [He cracks a smile, not mocking or pitying or even demeaning, but... a little unserious, all the same.] You said, "Just once," right? So I want to enjoy it for as long as I can.
[...Though. His smile does grow a little more cheeky.] Did you like that, then? What you were doing? [It's cute, that he seems so bent on being the one to push him over the line that he'd even add fingers to the mix like that. It makes Choi wish he could convince him to sit down and let him trade places, but first he has to convince him to even let him touch him at all.] Is that why you want to keep going? But - You know that's how I feel about you, too, right?
[ Could he have grown ten times smaller and fled inside the threadbare couch cushions, he would have in an instant. The desire to hide himself between the stuffing and the motes of lint and the dirt carried in from the outside sounds preferable with each passing second he stands in front of him, so terribly naked in his foolishness. His arms hang in front of him, loosely crossed and doing an unremarkable job at hiding the strain of his erection. It's not about the finish line, he wants to say. He could take care of it himself without having to pay the price of knowing or acknowledging how it feels. How he feels. Agent Choi tells him, anyway.
There's a heave of his chest, and then Soleum gives in to being led back. Like a boy who strayed from the path he was supposed to take just to follow the travels of a grasshopper, and knows to feel abashed for his distraction. He perches on the agent's knee without settling his weight down entirely, as if he might disturb the scar running down his thigh if Soleum adds too much of himself there. ]
I was doing what felt instinctual. I just knew that it felt good for you. [ His wrist was sore from holding himself up, but he used his good hand now to slide along Agent Choi's neck, petting at that darkened seam stretched along his Adam's apple. ] And I liked that. [ He rubs at the rough traces of bone protruding from the skin of his throat, watching for a grimace, a pained twinge to that smile always on his face. ] If possible, I want you to go through only good things.
[ Soleum can't always be one of them. But he'd wanted… Fuck, he can't even say it inside his own head.
His head lowers, placing a kiss where his jawline ends close to his ear. ]
…I still feel like you're drunk, when you say things like that. [ But if so, what does that make him? Someone taking advantage of his alcohol-addled senior? ] I wish you wouldn't go with the flow so often.
[Soleum's fingers go along his throat and tensions creeps its way up Choi's spine. His smile is unaffected but there's an instinctive flinch to his brow at the gradual pressure to the scar, the uncommon feeling, a sudden desire to snatch his hand and pull it away. He only wants him to go through good things... To say that while touching him there - Is he telling a joke?]
[There's a sliver of relief when he leans forward and the well bubbles out more as he feels lips against skin again. He exhales a breath he didn't realize was being held. He wraps his hands around Soleum's back and strokes beneath his shirt.]
I'm sober as a judge, I promise. [Seriously, does he think he got drunk off the half a beer from before this? Or is he looking for a reason to excuse Choi's behavior? Unfortunately there's no easy grace he can hide behind.] Do you think I...
[...initiated this randomly? ...No, does that reveal his hand a little too openly? Choi chuckles quietly as the tension slowly bleeds out of him, relaxing into the comedy of their situation. Someone who is apparently infatuated with the ideal of him, and himself who is infatuated with what he believes must lie beyond the outer shell.]
...You'll let me be a little greedy, right? [The hand on his back slips down to his pants, rolls over his ass.] If you're so intent on letting me only experience positive things, I can name some activities that I might like~
[And he grins. Turns to try and kiss him directly again, hopefully before he can earn a full slap.]
[ Soleum already meant to extract his hand from Agent Choi's neck when his expression scarcely fluttered in recognition of the warning he'd tried providing him, but the touch pushing under his shirt fast-tracks the movement. His body straightens with a jolt so quick you'd assume someone had reached inside of him, plucked his spine the way you would to test the tuning of an instrument. The grab to his backside is what sends him over. Bottom lip folded beneath his teeth, he jerks, starts to stand again, his leg passing over Agent Choi's erection. Not because he doesn't want to be groped or intimate with him, his body reacts encouragingly to the idea at least, it's just that he'd like more time to consider it —
But Soleum wavers. Despite desperately wanting to hold firm to his exasperation, it doesn't take long for his half-lidded gaze to lower, his resistance to peter out. His lips to press against his, open way for his longing, the feeling like he's missed him for a long time. Like he's planning on missing him after this. Soleum doesn't believe he's drunk either, but he can't explain his suggestibility to making a fool of himself, otherwise.
His shortened forearm rises with the flat end of his sleeve. If he had a hand attached to the limb, he might have moved it to brush the other side of Agent Choi's cheek, but as Soleum is right now, he awkwardly places it between their chests. Pushes gently enough to let him know he's not trying to get away. ]
…Why are you asking? [ A wry resignation needles through the question. ] As if I could stop you.
[ And Agent Choi can tell, can't he? Soleum's tried and failed several times tonight alone. Questioning the soundness of Agent Choi's decisions hasn't done anything. ]
If you… think this will be good, I can't talk you out of it. [ His brows knit. ] I just worry about you.
[That's what he said before, right? When Agent Choi asked if he would pull him away from the edge, even if the other side was a pit of acid, Soleum would let him crawl right in if he thought Choi had a good idea about it. It makes him smile, that he has so much blind trust in his senior's motives and ideas. Does that extend to this moment, too?]
[Even as their kiss ends and Soleum explains his dilemma, reveals his inability to stop this if he even wanted to, Choi's gears are turning. It's not a rejection and the hand (arm?) on his chest isn't there to push him away. He's accepting this much like the protagonist of a romantic movie goes along with the leering advances of her romantic counterpart. But whether this is a rom-com or a dark thriller, he doesn't want to wait to find out.]
I don't mind if you worry about me. But that means you can't be upset when I worry about you. So -
[And his hand dives down along his cheeks, grasping his ass fully with an open palm. It's sudden and designed to get him off guard, let him use the shock of it to pull him in close and try to get his crotch right against his own.]
Can I do this for you? [His goal is to pull him right against him so he can grind his dick against Soleum's. He corrects himself just a moment later.] With you? I really like this sort of position...
[It should be obvious why. He has access to everything like this - Can reach between them and wrap his hands around them both, can keep a firm grasp on Soleum's rear, and, perhaps most importantly, can watch. He doesn't even lean in to kiss, just watches his reaction, pays attention to any darts or movements, any attempts to escape again. He won't let him go so easily this time.]
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[...Probably for the best, as the further down Soleum gets, the more lewd the whole scene sounds. If it's not from the wet sound of his mouth and tongue, the saliva coating him and the brief suckling noises as he works his way and occasionally adjusts around it, then the sound of Choi's heavier breaths, the shudders as he parts his lips, the low groans when he closes them - those are all fit for a porno, not a quaint office like this. Not that he's never imagined it. Not that he's never pictured these same noises but in reverse, Soleum gripping the edge of the desk as his body is wracked with shivers and Choi swallows him down noisily and lewdly, eager to hear him lose himself, to break more sounds out of him.]
[...He only imagined it once or twice, though.]
Hah, Soleum -
[He doesn't know what to do with him all the way down, because the instinct is to thrust toward where it feels tightest and warmest, but with his cock pressed against the top of his mouth it keeps that temptation at bay for the moment. What he really wants to do is touch him in return, his hand flailing a little without something to hold onto or somewhere to go so he sets it on top of his head. Not pushing, not pulling - at first. He smooths his hair down, combs it out of his face. When his eyes open and Choi sees the slightly uncomfortable look... It's the angle, he recognizes, the way the head of his cock presses against the back of his palate. He moves, slowly, his leg sliding out to warn him of the impending motion before he gently attempts to straighten out the angle and search for something more pleasing - ]
Aha -
[ - Which is along the flat of his tonuge, toward the tempting heat of his throat, the tighter warmth that's dripping wet and perfectly lubricated for a thrust, just a single guiding motion, and Choi pushes forward without letting himself think too deeply and if the hand in his hair grips a little tighter to keep him from redirecting during that motion - He's just turned on, okay? His hand quickly loosens after that first push and he quickly says,] Sorry, sorry - [And guides himself back. But there's no hiding the way his eyes dilated a little at that smoother, faster push.]
Go at your pace, okay? Your pace.
[He's saying that for both of them to hear.]
no subject
His always-racing mind accepts the following supposition as easily as it supplies it: Ah, he's finished with me.
The thought is only there for a microscopic second. In and out, a cockroach flitting between the veil of a shelf that carries all his understanding of the Dark Exploration Records to some other dreary recess inside his head. But like a feline pouncing out at just the right time to overturn the crawling thing on its back, he recognizes the successive tight-knuckled twist pulling at his scalp for some fashion of desire. Reminds himself of the fragmented noises singing from the agent just a moment ago. He likes what they're doing, thinks a misguided night like this is worth it, wants Soleum touching him for reasons he can't dissect here. Possibly not ever, if he hopes to complete the conditions of his infiltration, but that's neither here nor there…
The tension in his jaw slackens as Agent Choi holds him inert, the rounded edges of his mouth widening even more to take him in. The feel of warm cock clearing past his tonsils, dragging against that dark back exit opening into his throat. The pressure shrinks his airway; it was a challenge to breathe before, but in that brief instant his forehead is nearly flush to his pelvis, a faint gurgle rises from Soleum, traces of translucent spittle gathering at the far corners of his lips, eyes dimming. Agent Choi retreats soon after, apologizes, but he can't for the life of him understand why.
Initially, Soleum thought he might want more time to acclimate to this type of intimacy. Savor it. He still aches for that — more time to enjoy the weight of his senior tying him down. But also, when Agent Choi stares at him, breathless and feverish, unabashedly exerting a patience he's never known him to have to avoid bucking into his mouth… He half wants to believe that he's doing this on purpose, that it's strategic. But he knows better, knows that line of reasoning is for his own convenience. That he can't help his own temptation to give in to what Agent Choi wants without an excuse like that. What else does he have to offer him, anyway? Nothing he does now will make up for how Soleum's going to stain him, this team, the people who sat here on this couch before him and pondered what would happen after they left the waiting room. Maybe this preemptive consolation will only make matters worse. Maybe he's just consoling himself at the end of the day.
Hand closed around the agent's thigh, Soleum sweeps up to the top of his moistened dick without haste, parting ways from it for a quick inhale puffing past his lips, barely any wait between as he sinks back down into him. Agent Choi will notice that he dips back-and-forth along the span of his cock with greater urgency, the rush disarranging his bangs, getting in the way his eyes, but not the heavy strokes of his tongue. Clinging to Agent Choi as if attempting to take the stretch of his skin with him, whichever direction he's bobbing in.
It's a pace he sets, but it's not one he imagines sustaining for too long — or being able to — so it's then the placement of his fingers inch lower, trusting Agent Choi to hold him up, even if it's by the roots of his hair. He skims under the soft bounce of his balls but decides to pass them over to cross his perineum, dipping into the slick of his slobber that's sloped down the crevice, and landing at the outset of his rim. Just the tip of his finger teases his hole, shallowly bridging inside. Like everything else he's done tonight thus far, it's his first time. Is this how you do it? ]
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[How he expects to hold a pace like that is beyond him, but it's also not really something he's thinking about or trying to math out. He can't. The feeling of his lips around him is mind-boggling. The way he sucks down on him, how they go tight the further down he goes and then pull closed just a bit more when retreating to the tip, the sound of his spit slurping against him, the warm-cold-warm of his mouth being replaced by the stark chill of the office the moment it's pulled away. The sight. The sight of it. Soleum focused on one thing, tackling one task to its completion. He's always been such a focused guy, so dedicated to his task and never giving up even after things approach top speed. Is this the exact same to him?]
[He's not even feeling his hand moving, the inch of his fingers downward. Choi can't think about anything but the sight he can see, the dip-pull of his mouth, can't even think about the groans and sounds spilling from his mouth. How he can't even keep his grasp on his hair, gave up on that the moment the strength left his body. But then he feels the sudden press inward and sucks in the breath he let out what feels like ages ago. His eyes go wide. His leg jerks and pulls upward, to the side. Granting space.]
That...
[Of all the things he thought Soleum would do in this encounter, that one didn't even make it on the bottom of the list.]
[It's also suddenly given his empty, longing hand something to do. Choi whips it down to his thigh and pulls it open, his back shifting to allow more room to do so. Somehow the shock of the intrusion has woken him out of the spell for enough time to process something about what's happened, that Soleum responded with intensity to that initial tug. He hasn't forgotten the words he said that hit him hardest, that this is his first time, that he's "never done this before" (oh, god, never done this before...). But he also can't ignore the reaction he gave to that harsher tug and gliding of his cock and - and this is for both of them, isn't it? He wants Soleum to feel good, too. He wants him to enjoy this. And even though he sputtered and choked and gagged and drooled around him, even though his eyes went a little dark, he... He definitely had to have enjoyed that.]
Soleum-ah - Want me to...?
[But he doesn't wait for an actual answer, his fingers simply tightening in his hair to give him a warning before he tugs him downward an inch further, testing the motion, salivating in the feeling of him going lower before pulling him back, then goes again a little lower. And again. He doesn't take over his pace, doesn't change his speed or anything, but instead uses his leverage to simply pull him down further on each dip, feels that tightening in his throat and the warm glide along his tongue. Then releases, every time, even lets him pull back, himself, if he wants. But his hand doesn't leave either way, ready to do it again once he's recovered.]
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His throat is burning. It's different from all the other times. Different from Tamra Express, where even with the Happy Maker numbing his pain receptors, he knew something terrible was happening to his body. With this, he doesn't need a painkiller; it hurts, the pressure is excruciating, but…
Does he like it? Is he enjoying it?
The answer to those questions doesn't come easily to Soleum, but he's reminded this is something he's choosing to do of his own accord every time he moves and the muscles along his airway flex, flinch, pinch. All the assorted molecules in his body aching and hopping with the effort, all of him reaching for it.
Is this how you do it, Soleum thinks, twice now. A simple push is the only thing it takes for his index finger to slowly follow the warm ridge inside of Agent Choi. He never would have pegged the older man as someone keen on being attended to, spoiled, considering how more interested he appears to be in doting on his juniors, but when his leg thigh parts, he can feel his wet entrance widening around the digit. His thumb pad rubs around the rim at first, assessing if it's enough for him to nudge his middle finger into the narrowed stretch, and thankfully it is. Another push, just as slow as the first, a shipwreck sinking to the ocean floor; he can't quite manage the same attentiveness with this as what he's doing above water, unfortunately. The majority of his concentration is nearly spent on remembering to breathe as his cock touches home at that back crook of his throat, hits that spot. In and out. Back and forth.
Not good.
His hand has to briefly pause as the nauseating reflex to cough Agent Choi out takes hold. ] Hh — mmnn — [ It sounds more like a moan than Soleum struggling to take him at that depth, but with a squeeze of his eyes he trains his thoughts elsewhere. Right, the age-old trick of thinking of something else. His fingers swivel, looking for the best angle before retreating slightly, then sliding back into the agent. Soleum's brow furrows. He doesn't reach his prostrate yet with that one, so he does it again, this time bending his fingers in search — ah, is that it? There? It's rounder than everything else, soft and fleshy. He must be at least hitting the very bottom of it.
He squints his eyes open, checking through his eyelashes for a response from Agent Choi, while he inches his fingertips inward, massaging against him. But he's downed him to the point that the only thing he can see is the light sheen of sweat glinting off his toned stomach. How disappointing. ]
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Ha, wait - [A nervous laugh comes with his gasped plea as Choi tugs him fully back, releasing his hair to quickly grasp his own prick and smooth down to the base, as if he can stop it from trying to follow the loss of Soleum's warmth with flinching little jerks. He needs to recenter himself. He can't just finish like that, he needs to - ] Gra - No, Soleum-ah, if you do that, I'm going to finish, yeah?
[He's grinning but there's a thick seam of tension in his brow, like he's holding an enormous weight and keeping it from crushing the both of them. Staring at Soleum's red lips and the drool mixed with his own pre on his chin isn't helping him manage that feat. The fingers in his ass are a little too far, on top of that sight. Reaching down to coax them out as he sits up, he instead tries to pull Soleum upright with him, tugs him over his lap, seeking his proximity. He's not at all concerned about swapping spit despite where his mouth has been, but he also recognizes he needs to explain this to his apparently virginal hubae. If only he could kiss and talk at the same time.]
If you go any further, I won't last, so... [His hands begin to undo the close of his pants and slide them off, even pulls his underwear down with them, and Choi speaks as he works:] It's my turn to be a little greedy - So, can I touch you here, too?
[His dick actually hurts a little with how he's denied himself, how he could have let Soleum keep going and jab against that ball of nerves inside him a few more times and he would have spilled right down his throat, made him choke on it and watched him flail and sputter around him. He would have held him down and groaned through it, selfish and needy and possessive. But no. No, he can't do that to him. He wants Soleum to get just as much, if not more, pleasure out of this than him. If that means denying himself until he can send him over the edge and watch him melt in his arms, that's more than worth it.]
If I put it in, you'd probably hurt a lot... [His voice is quiet as he reaches to wrap a hand around him, seeks out how hard he's gotten as he imagines him whimpering on top of him, what his body must feel like right this moment, untouched and unopened... No, that's too cruel. They don't have any tools or materials. Choi wouldn't do that to him. No, he'll be good.] Can you be content with this?
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Like a vase crashing to the ground, pouring out all the water inside, an excess of air all of a sudden drowns his lungs. Pushed back from him, the slightly pruned tips of his fingers twitching at his side, Soleum's next handful of breaths scrape out stickily, honey pulled from the hive. If it weren't for this, he would have been telling him that's the point. Agent Choi is supposed to feel good, he's supposed to finish. He said he wanted what his partner — what Soleum wanted, and that was it. That was his sole selfish wish from all of this. ]
Agent — [ A gasp seethes through his teeth, unable to fend off his kisses, the jerk of his hips being pulled over his senior's legs. Not even the disposal of his trousers and briefs. In a trance, he can only watch unsteadily as his partially erect penis jumps, pulsing in reaction to Agent Choi's palm tensing around him, ghosting along the curve. Gentler than the grip he had on his head earlier. The more he touches him, the more Soleum fills in his hand —
The pats at Agent Choi's shoulder rapidly crescendo into firm claps, then a shove at his shoulder, as he simultaneously slides back off him, his foot landing on the floor, his only hand raised as if to signal that he needs a moment. He can scarcely calm his breathing, blinking as if it's taken this moment to just now come to. He licks his lips, which are already wet from the number he's done on Agent Choi, but he couldn't care less. ]
It's fine, [ Soleum says, lowly, without saying the other half of what he's thinking about his question. What he's content with. ] Really, I want to help you finish. I can take care of myself — [ his mouth thins, briefly, a few different ideas materializing, ones that he shouldn't voice for the type of pitying stare it might earn him — ] elsewhere.
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That's... Huh?
[Wait, what?]
[Again it's like his words repeat in his mind, over and over to dig into the sand and set roots in the soil. "I can take care of myself elsewhere..." Wait, he can take care of himself? Elsewhere? Choi stares at him in total confusion as he processes those words. Somehow they plant less effectively than the one about him being a virgin.]
[But, right, he is a virgin, isn't he? Is that the issue, here? He doesn't understand the flow of this, how it's not as simple as completing one task and following up with the second. He needs more of a demonstration, if anything.]
Soleum-ah... That's not how it works.
[He reaches out to him to try and coax him back over, back into his lap as he sets his feet on the floor and parts his legs. His dick is still hard, still slick with Soleum's spit.]
This isn't like how you do it when you're by yourself - It's not just about getting to the finish line, okay? [He cracks a smile, not mocking or pitying or even demeaning, but... a little unserious, all the same.] You said, "Just once," right? So I want to enjoy it for as long as I can.
[...Though. His smile does grow a little more cheeky.] Did you like that, then? What you were doing? [It's cute, that he seems so bent on being the one to push him over the line that he'd even add fingers to the mix like that. It makes Choi wish he could convince him to sit down and let him trade places, but first he has to convince him to even let him touch him at all.] Is that why you want to keep going? But - You know that's how I feel about you, too, right?
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There's a heave of his chest, and then Soleum gives in to being led back. Like a boy who strayed from the path he was supposed to take just to follow the travels of a grasshopper, and knows to feel abashed for his distraction. He perches on the agent's knee without settling his weight down entirely, as if he might disturb the scar running down his thigh if Soleum adds too much of himself there. ]
I was doing what felt instinctual. I just knew that it felt good for you. [ His wrist was sore from holding himself up, but he used his good hand now to slide along Agent Choi's neck, petting at that darkened seam stretched along his Adam's apple. ] And I liked that. [ He rubs at the rough traces of bone protruding from the skin of his throat, watching for a grimace, a pained twinge to that smile always on his face. ] If possible, I want you to go through only good things.
[ Soleum can't always be one of them. But he'd wanted… Fuck, he can't even say it inside his own head.
His head lowers, placing a kiss where his jawline ends close to his ear. ]
…I still feel like you're drunk, when you say things like that. [ But if so, what does that make him? Someone taking advantage of his alcohol-addled senior? ] I wish you wouldn't go with the flow so often.
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[There's a sliver of relief when he leans forward and the well bubbles out more as he feels lips against skin again. He exhales a breath he didn't realize was being held. He wraps his hands around Soleum's back and strokes beneath his shirt.]
I'm sober as a judge, I promise. [Seriously, does he think he got drunk off the half a beer from before this? Or is he looking for a reason to excuse Choi's behavior? Unfortunately there's no easy grace he can hide behind.] Do you think I...
[...initiated this randomly? ...No, does that reveal his hand a little too openly? Choi chuckles quietly as the tension slowly bleeds out of him, relaxing into the comedy of their situation. Someone who is apparently infatuated with the ideal of him, and himself who is infatuated with what he believes must lie beyond the outer shell.]
...You'll let me be a little greedy, right? [The hand on his back slips down to his pants, rolls over his ass.] If you're so intent on letting me only experience positive things, I can name some activities that I might like~
[And he grins. Turns to try and kiss him directly again, hopefully before he can earn a full slap.]
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But Soleum wavers. Despite desperately wanting to hold firm to his exasperation, it doesn't take long for his half-lidded gaze to lower, his resistance to peter out. His lips to press against his, open way for his longing, the feeling like he's missed him for a long time. Like he's planning on missing him after this. Soleum doesn't believe he's drunk either, but he can't explain his suggestibility to making a fool of himself, otherwise.
His shortened forearm rises with the flat end of his sleeve. If he had a hand attached to the limb, he might have moved it to brush the other side of Agent Choi's cheek, but as Soleum is right now, he awkwardly places it between their chests. Pushes gently enough to let him know he's not trying to get away. ]
…Why are you asking? [ A wry resignation needles through the question. ] As if I could stop you.
[ And Agent Choi can tell, can't he? Soleum's tried and failed several times tonight alone. Questioning the soundness of Agent Choi's decisions hasn't done anything. ]
If you… think this will be good, I can't talk you out of it. [ His brows knit. ] I just worry about you.
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[Even as their kiss ends and Soleum explains his dilemma, reveals his inability to stop this if he even wanted to, Choi's gears are turning. It's not a rejection and the hand (arm?) on his chest isn't there to push him away. He's accepting this much like the protagonist of a romantic movie goes along with the leering advances of her romantic counterpart. But whether this is a rom-com or a dark thriller, he doesn't want to wait to find out.]
I don't mind if you worry about me. But that means you can't be upset when I worry about you. So -
[And his hand dives down along his cheeks, grasping his ass fully with an open palm. It's sudden and designed to get him off guard, let him use the shock of it to pull him in close and try to get his crotch right against his own.]
Can I do this for you? [His goal is to pull him right against him so he can grind his dick against Soleum's. He corrects himself just a moment later.] With you? I really like this sort of position...
[It should be obvious why. He has access to everything like this - Can reach between them and wrap his hands around them both, can keep a firm grasp on Soleum's rear, and, perhaps most importantly, can watch. He doesn't even lean in to kiss, just watches his reaction, pays attention to any darts or movements, any attempts to escape again. He won't let him go so easily this time.]