[ Could he have grown ten times smaller and fled inside the threadbare couch cushions, he would have in an instant. The desire to hide himself between the stuffing and the motes of lint and the dirt carried in from the outside sounds preferable with each passing second he stands in front of him, so terribly naked in his foolishness. His arms hang in front of him, loosely crossed and doing an unremarkable job at hiding the strain of his erection. It's not about the finish line, he wants to say. He could take care of it himself without having to pay the price of knowing or acknowledging how it feels. How he feels. Agent Choi tells him, anyway.
There's a heave of his chest, and then Soleum gives in to being led back. Like a boy who strayed from the path he was supposed to take just to follow the travels of a grasshopper, and knows to feel abashed for his distraction. He perches on the agent's knee without settling his weight down entirely, as if he might disturb the scar running down his thigh if Soleum adds too much of himself there. ]
I was doing what felt instinctual. I just knew that it felt good for you. [ His wrist was sore from holding himself up, but he used his good hand now to slide along Agent Choi's neck, petting at that darkened seam stretched along his Adam's apple. ] And I liked that. [ He rubs at the rough traces of bone protruding from the skin of his throat, watching for a grimace, a pained twinge to that smile always on his face. ] If possible, I want you to go through only good things.
[ Soleum can't always be one of them. But he'd wanted… Fuck, he can't even say it inside his own head.
His head lowers, placing a kiss where his jawline ends close to his ear. ]
…I still feel like you're drunk, when you say things like that. [ But if so, what does that make him? Someone taking advantage of his alcohol-addled senior? ] I wish you wouldn't go with the flow so often.
[Soleum's fingers go along his throat and tensions creeps its way up Choi's spine. His smile is unaffected but there's an instinctive flinch to his brow at the gradual pressure to the scar, the uncommon feeling, a sudden desire to snatch his hand and pull it away. He only wants him to go through good things... To say that while touching him there - Is he telling a joke?]
[There's a sliver of relief when he leans forward and the well bubbles out more as he feels lips against skin again. He exhales a breath he didn't realize was being held. He wraps his hands around Soleum's back and strokes beneath his shirt.]
I'm sober as a judge, I promise. [Seriously, does he think he got drunk off the half a beer from before this? Or is he looking for a reason to excuse Choi's behavior? Unfortunately there's no easy grace he can hide behind.] Do you think I...
[...initiated this randomly? ...No, does that reveal his hand a little too openly? Choi chuckles quietly as the tension slowly bleeds out of him, relaxing into the comedy of their situation. Someone who is apparently infatuated with the ideal of him, and himself who is infatuated with what he believes must lie beyond the outer shell.]
...You'll let me be a little greedy, right? [The hand on his back slips down to his pants, rolls over his ass.] If you're so intent on letting me only experience positive things, I can name some activities that I might like~
[And he grins. Turns to try and kiss him directly again, hopefully before he can earn a full slap.]
[ Soleum already meant to extract his hand from Agent Choi's neck when his expression scarcely fluttered in recognition of the warning he'd tried providing him, but the touch pushing under his shirt fast-tracks the movement. His body straightens with a jolt so quick you'd assume someone had reached inside of him, plucked his spine the way you would to test the tuning of an instrument. The grab to his backside is what sends him over. Bottom lip folded beneath his teeth, he jerks, starts to stand again, his leg passing over Agent Choi's erection. Not because he doesn't want to be groped or intimate with him, his body reacts encouragingly to the idea at least, it's just that he'd like more time to consider it —
But Soleum wavers. Despite desperately wanting to hold firm to his exasperation, it doesn't take long for his half-lidded gaze to lower, his resistance to peter out. His lips to press against his, open way for his longing, the feeling like he's missed him for a long time. Like he's planning on missing him after this. Soleum doesn't believe he's drunk either, but he can't explain his suggestibility to making a fool of himself, otherwise.
His shortened forearm rises with the flat end of his sleeve. If he had a hand attached to the limb, he might have moved it to brush the other side of Agent Choi's cheek, but as Soleum is right now, he awkwardly places it between their chests. Pushes gently enough to let him know he's not trying to get away. ]
…Why are you asking? [ A wry resignation needles through the question. ] As if I could stop you.
[ And Agent Choi can tell, can't he? Soleum's tried and failed several times tonight alone. Questioning the soundness of Agent Choi's decisions hasn't done anything. ]
If you… think this will be good, I can't talk you out of it. [ His brows knit. ] I just worry about you.
[That's what he said before, right? When Agent Choi asked if he would pull him away from the edge, even if the other side was a pit of acid, Soleum would let him crawl right in if he thought Choi had a good idea about it. It makes him smile, that he has so much blind trust in his senior's motives and ideas. Does that extend to this moment, too?]
[Even as their kiss ends and Soleum explains his dilemma, reveals his inability to stop this if he even wanted to, Choi's gears are turning. It's not a rejection and the hand (arm?) on his chest isn't there to push him away. He's accepting this much like the protagonist of a romantic movie goes along with the leering advances of her romantic counterpart. But whether this is a rom-com or a dark thriller, he doesn't want to wait to find out.]
I don't mind if you worry about me. But that means you can't be upset when I worry about you. So -
[And his hand dives down along his cheeks, grasping his ass fully with an open palm. It's sudden and designed to get him off guard, let him use the shock of it to pull him in close and try to get his crotch right against his own.]
Can I do this for you? [His goal is to pull him right against him so he can grind his dick against Soleum's. He corrects himself just a moment later.] With you? I really like this sort of position...
[It should be obvious why. He has access to everything like this - Can reach between them and wrap his hands around them both, can keep a firm grasp on Soleum's rear, and, perhaps most importantly, can watch. He doesn't even lean in to kiss, just watches his reaction, pays attention to any darts or movements, any attempts to escape again. He won't let him go so easily this time.]
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There's a heave of his chest, and then Soleum gives in to being led back. Like a boy who strayed from the path he was supposed to take just to follow the travels of a grasshopper, and knows to feel abashed for his distraction. He perches on the agent's knee without settling his weight down entirely, as if he might disturb the scar running down his thigh if Soleum adds too much of himself there. ]
I was doing what felt instinctual. I just knew that it felt good for you. [ His wrist was sore from holding himself up, but he used his good hand now to slide along Agent Choi's neck, petting at that darkened seam stretched along his Adam's apple. ] And I liked that. [ He rubs at the rough traces of bone protruding from the skin of his throat, watching for a grimace, a pained twinge to that smile always on his face. ] If possible, I want you to go through only good things.
[ Soleum can't always be one of them. But he'd wanted… Fuck, he can't even say it inside his own head.
His head lowers, placing a kiss where his jawline ends close to his ear. ]
…I still feel like you're drunk, when you say things like that. [ But if so, what does that make him? Someone taking advantage of his alcohol-addled senior? ] I wish you wouldn't go with the flow so often.
no subject
[There's a sliver of relief when he leans forward and the well bubbles out more as he feels lips against skin again. He exhales a breath he didn't realize was being held. He wraps his hands around Soleum's back and strokes beneath his shirt.]
I'm sober as a judge, I promise. [Seriously, does he think he got drunk off the half a beer from before this? Or is he looking for a reason to excuse Choi's behavior? Unfortunately there's no easy grace he can hide behind.] Do you think I...
[...initiated this randomly? ...No, does that reveal his hand a little too openly? Choi chuckles quietly as the tension slowly bleeds out of him, relaxing into the comedy of their situation. Someone who is apparently infatuated with the ideal of him, and himself who is infatuated with what he believes must lie beyond the outer shell.]
...You'll let me be a little greedy, right? [The hand on his back slips down to his pants, rolls over his ass.] If you're so intent on letting me only experience positive things, I can name some activities that I might like~
[And he grins. Turns to try and kiss him directly again, hopefully before he can earn a full slap.]
no subject
But Soleum wavers. Despite desperately wanting to hold firm to his exasperation, it doesn't take long for his half-lidded gaze to lower, his resistance to peter out. His lips to press against his, open way for his longing, the feeling like he's missed him for a long time. Like he's planning on missing him after this. Soleum doesn't believe he's drunk either, but he can't explain his suggestibility to making a fool of himself, otherwise.
His shortened forearm rises with the flat end of his sleeve. If he had a hand attached to the limb, he might have moved it to brush the other side of Agent Choi's cheek, but as Soleum is right now, he awkwardly places it between their chests. Pushes gently enough to let him know he's not trying to get away. ]
…Why are you asking? [ A wry resignation needles through the question. ] As if I could stop you.
[ And Agent Choi can tell, can't he? Soleum's tried and failed several times tonight alone. Questioning the soundness of Agent Choi's decisions hasn't done anything. ]
If you… think this will be good, I can't talk you out of it. [ His brows knit. ] I just worry about you.
no subject
[Even as their kiss ends and Soleum explains his dilemma, reveals his inability to stop this if he even wanted to, Choi's gears are turning. It's not a rejection and the hand (arm?) on his chest isn't there to push him away. He's accepting this much like the protagonist of a romantic movie goes along with the leering advances of her romantic counterpart. But whether this is a rom-com or a dark thriller, he doesn't want to wait to find out.]
I don't mind if you worry about me. But that means you can't be upset when I worry about you. So -
[And his hand dives down along his cheeks, grasping his ass fully with an open palm. It's sudden and designed to get him off guard, let him use the shock of it to pull him in close and try to get his crotch right against his own.]
Can I do this for you? [His goal is to pull him right against him so he can grind his dick against Soleum's. He corrects himself just a moment later.] With you? I really like this sort of position...
[It should be obvious why. He has access to everything like this - Can reach between them and wrap his hands around them both, can keep a firm grasp on Soleum's rear, and, perhaps most importantly, can watch. He doesn't even lean in to kiss, just watches his reaction, pays attention to any darts or movements, any attempts to escape again. He won't let him go so easily this time.]