[ Usually, to Aki's friends and acquaintances alike, Denji is just the little brother or the brother who persistently breaks dress code, and before high school, it was the kid who follows Hayakawa everywhere. Little monikers in place of where a name should be, the kind you give to those people who frequent the periphery of your life, but don't sit at the center of it. He can't remember the last time someone bothered to memorize his name at that school. Besides, you know, the faculty staff that have to.
Sue him for being curious. ]
And whadd'you know about my type?
[ Denji scooches in next to him, poking at the screen and tapping past the different meal offerings. Even though he technically knows what he wants, that katsudon is looking really good. Ahhh, but they had chicken yesterday. ]
She just seemed nice. That's all. [ Not that the others aren't. They're polite in that distant way that always feels like a hurdle to jump over when you're getting to know someone. He adds adds the salmon and a fountain drink to their order before stepping back to let Aki pay for them both. ] I mean, none of the others looked that broken up over what happened to that dude from yesterday. I wonder if maybe they were dating. Like, secretly.
[He picked salmon. What a good boy. Maybe he will get him taiyaki after this.]
She said she sat next to him, right? [Order paid, he grabs the slips of paper that are spit out and hands them over the counter before looking for a seat.] Someone you see every day, but don't really talk to, suddenly dying would feel weird, I bet.
[He pauses as he sits down. Thinking about it.]
...I'm sure the others were upset in their own way. [Because now he's wondering if Denji thinks he's weird for not saying anything about it, or looking sad about it. He didn't know the guy, but he was in the same grade. Should he drag Denji to a shrine or something? But what good would that do, if it was only to make himself feel better? For now, he decides to ditch the topic and jump onto the one that's actually bothering him.] But you got upset during that reading. What happened?
[ The others were upset, huh. It didn't look that way to him. More like varying degrees of perturbed or concerned for their own safety — that's the only reason why they'd be getting fortunes, from his perspective. To avoid the same end as the kid that passed away.
And, let's be real, Denji of all people isn't judging. Even with the panic yesterday's events sent them into, he doesn't feel changed by it or regretful that someone lost their life; there's even a juvenile part of him that's happy to be receiving a free day off from all the commotion. A kid died and now he gets to have lunch with his big brother, who'd otherwise be busy with schoolwork and his part-time job. Is it normal to feel that way? If it is, doesn't that make the girl's reaction more of an oddity?
He's almost relieved to be distracted from his own thoughts by Aki's question. That is, until he realizes what he's asking. ]
What're you bringing that up for? [ Denji folds over the table, resting his chin on his crossed arms. Pretends to be examining an imaginary smudge on the table varnishing up close. ] Nothing happened. She said some mumbo jumbo 'bout a tree or a heart, whatever, and I just got sick of it. Who wants to pay to get scammed, right?
[ He huffs, like a bull extinguishing air from its nostrils. ]
'specially by somebody who speaks in a phony accent! That's like if I let Powy fool me into eating Meowy's cat food again.
[Aki sits back when Denji leans over the table, watching him pout and scratch at the surface like he just asked him about a bad grade he got. But while she did say those things about a heart, and about a tree, it was the later words that seemed to agitate him.]
[Aki isn't stupid, though. He doesn't know how he'll respond if he tries to push him on it. If he'll bolt like he did the last time. But he didn't just earlier, so... Maybe he can nudge him just a little further.]
You got pale when she talked about doors.
[He was paying attention, after all. Was trying to figure out if there could possibly be anything useful in a five-hundred yen reading. He'd figured not, and still assumes not, but...]
I'll bet they have different words and terms they bring up all the time. Like trees, and roots... So a door is probably like that. [Winding up a softball. Waiting to see if he'll jump to catch it or ignore it fully. After a beat, he finally lobs the pitch.] But you said something about it to me before, that night you found Pochita.
[ Denji freezes. As shaken as someone who's just witnessed a baseball crash through his window out of the blue, the sound of glass fragmenting still ringing in his eardrums. He doesn't get up in a flurry the way he did back at the fortune telling stall, but… But still.
The compulsion is there. The feeling that he should be racing from the scene of a crime, a punishment yet to be enforced. ]
[ Clink. Their drinks arrive, fresh ice stirring in the fizz of his soda.
The panic flashing through his expression is recognizable, as is the effort he applies to school the violent rocket of his heartbeat into something he can speak around. Dragging the cup toward his end of the table, he takes a sip. ]
[Yeah, there it is. That same tense pull of his body, in his shoulders, in his jaw. Aki watches each muscle pull ridgid in his little brother and waits for the answer, for something to come out within that tension. The drinks come, sit on the table. Cola and green tea. He stares across at him, still waiting.]
[...Does he think he's stupid?]
Denji.
[He doesn't reach for his drink, eyes still stuck on him, watching every twitch of his body. Every shift of his muscles. Where the tension focuses and how it moves through him, like an elastic band he can trace the ripple of through every nerve. And just as he opens his mouth to say something, something about how he knows it means something to him, something about how he has things that scare him, too...]
[Aki raises his head and turns to look. Two boys from his class, one holding a soccer ball under his arm, are stepping into the restaurant and pushing through the tables to greet him. Asking him what he's up to, if it's true he saw the devil yesterday. What did it look like? Did he see the devil hunters, too? And that they're going to the field after lunch, does he want to come join for a game?]
[The interruption is a little jarring, but Aki passes a look at Denji, lips parted like he's going to ask, Do you want to go? But then they close, pull tight. No. He had blood drawn and got spooked by something. The last thing he needs is for him to nearly faint two days in a row.]
Maybe I'll stop by, once I bring him home. [Common Aki lie. He probably won't stop by, but it's a nice thing to say. The two boys look disappointed, complaining that he never plays with them anymore. Their bowls arrive before they can guilt him much further and Aki waves them off, telling them he heard school might be closed for a few more days so maybe tomorrow if the weather's good. They seem to take that well enough and head off to make their order, passing Denji a brief nod of the head. "Who's that?" "Hayakawa's little bro." "What was his name?" Their voices fade as Aki splits his chopsticks and breaks the egg yolk on his meal.]
Want the ginger? [And he scoops the beni shoga off the side of the meal, offering it out to place on Denji's. For the moment, all the door talk seems to have been forgotten.]
[ While Aki's pals are busy rifling his memory for information, trying to pull an exciting account of yesterday out of him, Denji quietly gnaws on his straw, teeth poking holes into the plastic. Half his mind is still on their prior conversation, the door and why he won't budge on discussing it; the other half, taken by the exchange in front of him. It's odd watching his brother interact with people he doesn't have to pick up after. Doesn't have to escort to the clinic, sitting in the lobby waiting for a sick kid to come plodding out.
Like this, he can see him doing all that normal, teenage stuff with the same clarity as a spiritist communing with the future. He doesn't need a crystal ball to forecast how his life should be playing out. Aki: hanging out with his friends, playing soccer, walking into a house with two parents and a little sibling that isn't him. And, yeah, having sex. Because Aki's normal. He gets asked out to places, people like that he's around. Girls see someone they can count on in him, a trustworthiness they selfishly want to make their own.
It isn't that he thinks Aki's stupid. He just doesn't know if he'd get it, and there's a small piece of him that's jealous of that.
At the same time that Aki offers his ginger to Denji, he blurts out the following: ]
— You don't gotta take me home, y'know. [ He blinks, startled for a split second, not expecting their words to overlap. When Aki's question registers, he briefly nods, shoves his bowl forward, and continues. ] I wanna watch you play. I can just sit on the side, if you wanna be a killjoy about it, but I'll be fine if I'm just walkin' around… 'specially after eating, right?
[Aki sits in silence as Denji speaks once he sets the ginger down in his bowl. He mixes his meal together, letting the yolk sink into the rice and combine with the sauce as Denji calls him out, coaxes at him. He's right, which is the annoying thing - he can leave Denji on the sidelines and he'll be just as safe as if he were stuck at home. And what's he going to get up to at home, anyway? Maybe mess around with that devil, bond even closer to it. If that zombie devil showed up again...]
[He finally looks up, not seeming content, but also like he can't really argue. Usually he would put his foot down anyway. No. 'Cause I said so. Typical childish arguments and reasonings. But Aki doesn't want to be a child, or use their kind of logic. And he said it himself, that night he made that contract. That he wants to be able to trust him. If he says he'll be okay, he can believe that, right?]
I guess we can go... [And why does he sound disappointed? Not even Aki is sure. Because Denji is telling him that he doesn't need him to be taking care of him, that he'll be fine is Aki is with other boys for a few hours while Denji watches from the sidelines? ...He'd like to think he's not that shallow, but it does pinch him in the same spot the stupid acorn song pinches him. He spears into a piece of chicken to split it in two.] Just don't complain if you get bored.
Then don't do something boring, like, I dunno, lose to those wimps. [ He can't very well be known as the younger brother of someone so lame. Though Denji's only reputation is that of "the lil' bro", it's still a reputation that requires upkeep! ] You haven't been able 'ta train with everything, so just think of it as workin' out…
[ Shreds of pickled ginger, sesame, and cooked salmon fly out as he tosses the contents of his own bowl. Too much force, as always, even when a gentler touch like Aki's could work just as well to ensure the glaze and his toppings are well-incorporated into the rice. Just another thing that sets them apart, but this one Denji doesn't notice, doesn't bitterly pick at over and over like a crusted scratch he can't leave alone; no, he's chewing slow for once, watching him too closely again. Hasn't really stopped watching even once the other boys left. ]
…Hey. [ His foot nudges against him under the table. ] What're you pouting for? You don't want your oyakodon anymore or something?
[ Someone told him once that the reason the dish was called that is because the parent, being the chicken, and the kid, being the egg, are all mixed up into one deliciously runny nest, almost like there's no differentiation. When he looks at Aki, he kinda sees that same thing — he won't take back that mom comparison from last last night, because it's still true to him, but it's not as if the kid his age is invisible to him, either. It's just, like with oyakodon, you gotta take a real big bite to figure out which one it is you're dealing with.
…Denji wedges a cut of salmon between his chopsticks, unceremoniously dumping it over the other toppings, still glistening with raw yolk. ]
Here. Lemme know if you wanna switch.
[ He really doesn't want to. Switch, that is. The reason they decided to eat out was so that he could have the salmon! Ugh, but this is a good and mature response to your older sibling not wanting what they ordered, isn't it? And Aki is always telling him to grow up… ]
[Given how fiercely his heart was pumping when he watched Denji stab that devil with Pochita, it's probably fair to say he's gotten enough exercise for the week. But as Denji drops some of his salmon onto the top of his bowl, Aki recognizes what has really been bothering him since he made that comment. The thing about him being like a mom. Last night he'd just rolled over and ignored him, but the cherry on top had been when he gripped his shoulder and told him not to cry. A misunderstanding of the type of offense he had caused. And again here, where he thinks Aki is upset by his meal choice as opposed to the greater picture. He's not pouting - but if he was pouting, it wouldn't be about his meal. It's Denji continuously telling him he's alright when he knows that's not the case. And not understanding Aki's trepidation and disbelief, instead framing it as something wholly unrelated.]
[And also he's still a little upset about the mom comment.]
I don't want your meal.
[He picks up the salmon and drops it back into Denji's bowl. He's the last person who needs to be giving food away. Meeting the foot that nudged him under the table with a light kick, barely more than a knock of the toe of his shoe, he digs into his food for real, eyes low as he focuses there instead of on the boy across from him.]
You're so clueless about everything. It's so annoying.
[He scoops a large heaping of rice and chicken from the bowl, eating it in one bite as he lets Denji sit on that for a moment.]
One day you're going to tick off the wrong person, you know. You're lucky it's just me you're bothering right now.
[ Denji looks down at the refused fish piece in his bowl, twiddling his utensils like he's forgotten what they're supposed to be used for. Really, he should kick back. That's the correct response to Aki picking a fight without provocation, or that's what it feels like. You're just saying that, is what should come out of his mouth next. They've known each other long enough that there's a wall at the orphanage they met at that's full of nicks from them measuring their heights to one another, Aki always a step ahead, outpacing both him and Power. Denji, always straining on the tips of his toes to feel level with him.
He should be able to discern the things Aki says in irritation from the things he says in concern, except right now he just feels like he can't keep up. Can't understand him. Can't be someone he isn't, can't know what he doesn't. But maybe his brother's right, that he isn't trying enough. The stuff that's hard for Denji to wrap his head around didn't always used to bother him, but as they've aged and Aki's been asking more him to take on more responsibilities… ]
…I know.
[ The part about being lucky. He knows that Aki pulled the short end of the stick, that he owes Aki, that it'll be even longer yet before he's able to come close to making it up to him, with interest. Might even be the rest of Denji's life, what's left of it to squander on something like this. He knows that. ]
What do you want me to do?
[ A sigh drags from his lips as he digs in at last, stacking a little bit of everything atop the salmon. Shoves it down the hatch, hoping that eating will — do something. Fix his head, or clear it, at the very least, but nothing happens. No magic enlightenment or feel-good relief. Each bite he takes is uncomfortable, like he's swallowing past a scale or a fish bone stubbornly sticking to his throat. He stretches a hand for his glass, but when ice catches between his teeth, he realizes it's empty. ]
[It's easy to tell when he's said something that has affected Denji.
Like yesterday, when he told him he didn't want to have to carry him again.
The way his eyes widen, pupils dart aside. He's so obvious. It's annoying.
Like when he was younger and would try to lie to cover for Power. What does
he want him to do...?]
...Just do what I tell you to. [Which he does, mostly. He's pretty
obedient which had maybe been an early reason he'd let Denji stick around
him. If he told him to buzz off, he would. He'd always come back later,
though, long enough for Aki to recover from any negative mood he was
having.] You know that saying about what happens when you assume?
How you make an ass out of you and me.
[Said slowly so he gets it. Then Aki reaches over and pushes his tea
toward Denji, across the table toward where his hand has grabbed the empty
glass of soda.]
[This kind of back and forth doesn't feel too unusual. He'd maybe
give the excuse that he's still stressed from yesterday, still a little
shaken up by his closest encounter with a devil. He'd always assumed that
would happen when he was a hunter, not a student. He's never wondered what
would happen if the Gun Devil returned today, or tomorrow. It's always felt
like something he can prepare for, something he'll be ready for in the near
but not immediate future. But now he's not sure. He doesn't know what
tomorrow is going to be like, only what he wants it to be like six months
from now. Suddenly having to think about the next day, the next hour, the
next minute is stressful. Especially when he has two other people's futures
to think about, too.]
[When they're finished eating, Aki making sure Denji didn't leave
any rice in his bowl, he makes his way out to the field, the same place he
goes to run laps and train. It's a broad, open space between town and the
school, just developed enough that it doesn't feel like an overgrown grass
field but quiet enough that it isn't right up against the busier roads. The
two classmates from earlier are already kicking the ball between two goals
along with a few other kids who joined in, so Aki leads Denji over to the
edge of the field while he pulls off his jacket, offering it out to him.
Even though it's a little chilly, they seem to be doing shirts and skins.
One less skin, by his count, so he starts to tug off his top as
well.]
...Oh, yeah. [He raises his head, just remembering.] We can
get taiyaki on the way home. So don't eat all the candy you took.
[ As far as he understands, both his stomach and the matter between them settle after lunch. Although the saying Aki quotes isn't one he knows, Denji doesn't need the smarts of a rocket scientist or a brain surgeon to catch a hint. It's just a hard one to swallow when he knows that sometimes the things Aki tells him aren't always as they seem. But… whatever. Despite his good intentions, assuming the other boy's feelings hasn't done him much favors, only resulting in a series of tongue-lashings so far — in addition to the vague impression that he'll never really get him.
If Aki only wants him to do as he's told, maybe it's fine. Maybe it doesn't matter. ]
Fine. [ From his position on the grassy turf beside the playing field, he holds a hand out to catch the bunched up shirt, but it whips past, the spread of it slapping into his face. Grunting, Denji drags the shirt down, but not before giving it a curious sniff. For being out all day, it still smells pretty clean. ] …He totally did that on purpose.
[ Well, whether Aki did or not isn't something he can contest, with him cutting across to his other teammates, a relatively strong-looking group of boys. The other side about evenly matched, by the look of it. So gross, what a sausage fest…
And yet Denji doesn't look away once throughout the first match, not even to check his phone, his skinny legs folded close to his chest as he watches a midfielder on the shirtless team nimbly pass the ball on to one of the two broad-shouldered boys that'd stopped by their table. At some point, it occurs to him that some of these players are probably a part of their school's soccer team, but it doesn't look like Aki's having too much trouble keeping apace. Which, obviously, he wouldn't — that's his brother we're talking about here. But also he's always been good at this stuff, since way back. His body moving wherever he wants it to, a similar look in his eyes as when he talks about his goals and moving out to Tokyo triggering.
"Hey, I gotta head home," a shirt says, after their team lands the winning score of the match and they break for water. His eyes are pinned to his phone screen, rapidly typing a message to whoever he's talking to. "My sister's headed into labor. So… I guess I'm gonna be an uncle now."
Despite the casual breaking of the news and the boy trying to keep face, trying not to look too excited, there's a clamor of congratulations from his teammates. Some skins playfully taunt him, that he's just making up an excuse to leave on a high note because he's afraid of losing, to which he simply rolls his eyes with a laugh. Shrugging both the jeers and well wishes off, the boy quickly gathers his duffel bag and rushes off with a brief wave. The team captain of the shirts, who Denji recognizes to be the other guy that'd stopped by their table, rubs at the back of his head as he does a recount of his team, pulling a face when he's done.
Then, his eyes land on Denji. "Hey, you, Mini Hayakawa." ]
Uh, me…? [ He looks up from where he'd been digging a power bank from Aki's bag. His phone's about to die from the gaming he did earlier, so…
"Yeah. You wanna play? We're down a man now, if you couldn't tell."
Denji blinks dopily before scanning the area for his brother. ]
I'unno. I mean, maybe? I gotta ask him first… [ Wherever Aki is, he tries to wave him over — or if he isn't nearby, he'll probably just call out to him: ] Nii-san. Your pal's begging me to play with you guys —
[The news that one of them is about to do something as grown up as
become an uncle is surprising to Aki, congratulating the other boy along
with everyone else but falling back from giving any smack talk. He's wiping
some mud off his pants when he thinks he hears his name but raising his
head reveals that it's the other boy talking to Denji, not himself. And
then Denji looks over and repeats the question to him, if he can play, and
without even taking a second to think Aki's answer is immediate: ]
Hell no.
[The other boy looks at him in confusion, though quickly tries to
make light of it. "What, you don't want to lose to your own - " But
Aki interrupts him before he can finish the joke of a question.]
He's not fit for it. He got blood taken today, and... [Attacked the
day before. It's not like many people know about Denji's health issues, nor
is Aki one to share that information with no preamble, but something seems
to click in the other boy who had stopped by their table and he nudges the
first one, giving him a look. They knew they were involved in the situation
yesterday, it seems.] He's going to get worn out too fast. Look,
I'll sit out, if you want to keep it even.
[Clearly that isn't the preferable solution, however, given the dour
look over the other players' faces. Aki doesn't budge, however, even as
another player suggests Denji just be a goalie.] He can't play.
He's too weak.
There really isn't any room for loopholes in such a clear-cut declaration. The team captain guy shares a look with one of his players for a moment, and in seeming to come to a silent consensus, turns back to Denji with a good-natured but helpless smile. Obviously, they aren't interested in stepping into family matters. "What the big bro says, goes. Sorry, Mini, maybe next time. If you see the ball go outta bounds, you can kick it back into the field, if you want." As if to give him the chance to interject, he shoots a short glance Aki's way, accompanied by a quickly said, "That should be fine, right?"
In the same conversation, the boy dismisses Aki's offer to sit out, bumping his shoulder into his brother's with a wicked grin and his chest puffed. Says something about how the rest of the skins need him, seeing as they're on a losing streak so far. Rested and rehydrated, the remaining players begin to mosey back to the field, but before Aki can get too far Denji throws a hand out, tugging at his waistband, expression dark. Downcast. ]
I…
[ I'm mad at you, he could tell him. Use his trump card to get what he wants. But does he have the right to? Aki did only agree to take him if he just sat on the sidelines without pushing himself — and, honestly, it's not the immediate rejection of the idea that has him upset, exactly. Denji sucks on the inside of his cheek, his face twitching and creasing, as he weighs his next words. ]
I wish you wouldn't say that crap. 'bout me being weak.
[Denji's response isn't unexpected, but given the look Aki casts him
in response, it isn't taken too seriously. What, is he going to argue with
him? Even if he ate earlier, there's no way he's back to normal. And even
then, if he was, did he just forget about how close he was to passing out
yesterday, how he stumbled around for the better part of the evening? And
his feet are still a little scratched up from that other night. Seriously,
what is with him, thinking he can argue with this?]
[Then he takes in Denji's expression and feels something cold settle
over his heart, like a snowdrift, a pile dropping onto him from the roof of
a home. He looks like Taiyou, pouting up at him. "I wanna go play with
Nii-chan." All the ways things have and haven't changed, living with a
brother who was too sick most days to even get out of bed. And one of the
few days he did disobey, came following Aki outside, tossed some snow at
his back and laughed at his indignation - how had that ended?]
[He pulls out of his grip, clearly affected by that memory, turning
away all at once. He doesn't want to see that face. Not right now.]
We'll talk when we get home.
[He heads back to the group of boys, accepting the ball kicked his
way and dribbling it toward them. He knows most people think of him as a
little overprotective, maybe a little harsh on both Denji and Power, but he
also knows most people think of them as kids who always end up in trouble.
Kids who always have their noses where they don't belong. Compared to Aki,
his do-good personality, of course he would be the one to scold them and
keep them on the right path. Compared to them, of course Aki would know
what that right path is.]
[Even if the path is sitting on the side of the field, a stray ball
rolling his way once or twice. By the time the game is over, the winter sun
is already getting low in the sky. As they break, the skins finally winning
(though Aki knows it's thanks to having one extra pair of legs running
around), he's exhausted, sweaty and muddy around the ankles. However, as
the group moves back to where Denji was waiting, one of them knocking Aki
in the side for his attempted nutmeg earlier, he doesn't look it. Compared
to the cold, almost upset look he had left Denji with, his mood clearly
improved by the end of the game. He feels - good, honestly. Probably for
the first time since he had that conversation with Denji about going to the
beach.]
[Plopping down in the grass and downing the water someone else
tosses him, he leans back and lets out a tired breath.] Lemme just
sit a minute.
[Whatever he was thinking about Denji's expression, how it had
reminded him so starkly of his brother - his real brother - it's gone now.
Filed away, pushed back into its shallow box.]
[ The moment Aki pulls that face at him, Denji's jaw tightens in annoyance. He badly wants to act out, give him a wedgie in front of all his friends or shove his foot upside his ass crack. It's not that it's wrong to be cautious about his constitution, there isn't anyone more aware than Denji is about how fragile this stupid body is, but the thing is Aki seems so clueless as to how shitty it is, to hear from his own brother that he's too feeble to even stand at a goalpost. All he wants to impress upon him right then is how much of a dick he is, that they're talking right now, aren't they, and apparently that's not enough to get through to him. What makes him think putting it off to later is going to resolve anything between them? Damn it, he's always like this…
That other face he pulls as he turns from him, too, is just like Aki. Denji only sees a flash of it, but he knows when his brother is shuttering him out, closing the blinds on him, some other far off view taking his place. It's probably why the only thing Denji winds up doing balling his fists at his sides and letting him go. They talked about this last night: that Aki can visit the places that he can't reach all he wants, but that, whatever happens, he has to come back.
So fine, Denji will wait this out.
Around the time he accepts there won't be anymore balls for him to throw back into the game, he starts to nod off, his head lolling every so often. Though he tries to endurethe each wave of sleepiness, turn after turn, it isn't long before he's laying on his side, eyes closed, and using his bag as a pillow. His patch of ground is kind of lumpy, the grass blades too itchy, but with the shadows of the nearby buildings and trees beginning to pitch forward, he's fast asleep within minutes.
The nap isn't nearly long enough for him to have any special dreams, but the rest of the world does dull into a blissful blankness. He isn't even aware of the game ending, the players still running high from the adrenaline of a good game, or his brother sitting close by. ]
[Most of the guys have started on the way home, heading out in groups of two or three, dirty from the afternoon of childhood fun. A day that probably won't last in their memory. Aki's, either, he thinks, leaned back in the grass beside Denji's prone form. There's just one other kid left, the one who hadn't known Denji's name back at that restaurant. As he waves off someone, he turns to look at Aki, down at Denji. Seems to be mulling over his question before finally asking - "What's wrong with him?"]
[Aki glances down, like he'll get some kind of answer on Denji's sleeping face. He could just give the same spiel he always gives, to teachers or doctors or anyone in a position of authority. Sickly, a poor constitution. Heart disease. Whatever words he last was given as an answer to what is 'wrong' with Denji. But that exact phrasing bothers him, brings him back to just an hour or so ago. The way Denji had stared at him, clearly miffed, maybe embarrassed, at how Aki had phrased it. Even if it's true, even if Denji is weak, wakes up coughing in the night, can't even do Sports Day most years... Now, hearing it from someone else, he kind of hates it, too. Feels a tinge of regret, guilt, about how he'd so curtly called him that in front of a bunch of kids who don't even know Denji's name. Just know now that he's "weak."]
Nothing's wrong with him. [He doesn't really know this guy, only shares mutual friends, so he doesn't feel bad about speaking to him too bluntly.] You'd be tired, too, after yesterday.
[The other player seems to at least recognize he's stepped in something by asking, shuffling uncomfortably on his feet before finally raising his hand as he heads off, says a brief, Later. Aki watches him go, finally sitting up and crossing his legs. The breeze feels nice, cooling the sweat rolling down his bare back. He reaches out to tug blades of grass out of the ground and sprinkles it on Denji's head. They roll down onto his face, over his nose.]
[ Denji's never been a believable liar, particularly when he's actively trying to be one. But when all it is that you have to do to get away with something is keep your eyes closed… Then, even he can achieve that. The faraway din of bags zipping and friends ribbing each other on the way home manages to nudge at his consciousness, bring the world back to his fingertips during Aki's conversation with the other player. There's movement beneath his eyelids, his lips drilled tight together to avoid barking something out of turn. Gee, how about you mind your own beeswax, dude?
Aki's not nearly as rude as he would be, and yet the next words out of his mouth still makes his throat dry up. His cheeks sore from keeping his mouth set in a line when all he wants to is… is what? Curl his whole body around his older brother's and hide his face into the side of his sweaty hip? He can't do that.
When the grass clumps skim past his nostrils, he involuntarily sniffs, nearly inhaling a blade up his nose. ]
Hrk… [ A single eye blearily squints up at him — tired, but not disgruntled. Turning over, he tries to rub his face into his knee. How about that? ] No, five more minutes. [ And then his eye stubbornly shuts again, apparently not totally bought out by the prospect of food.
This lasts for five seconds, maybe less, of course, before his expression twists, like he's trying to fight back the urge to open his eyes… until he finally gives in. ]
[Aki waits for Denji to settle before reaching out to snag his shirt off the ground, tugging it on over his head. To the question about winning, he shrugs.] It was close. One of those guys faceplanted - did you see it?
[He hadn't realized Denji had fallen asleep until that happened, looking his way and expecting to see him keeled over in a fit of laughter at the other boy's suffering. So he already knows the answer, that he missed that spectale. But the truth is, he doesn't really want to get into who won or lost. It should have been an easy victory but they only won by a single goal. He'd blame the rest of his team, but he knows he was distracted for half the game. And how stupid is that, to be moody over someone else pouting at you? It was like their numbers were equal in the first half.]
[Aki reaches down and brushes a blade of grass from Denji's hair.] You got just as dirty as me, napping on the ground like a kid. [But compared to his tone when he left him an hour ago, he sounds more playful now, less serious. Caring, as he smushes at a speck of dirt that got on his cheek, presses at the line in his face he got from sleeping on that bag.] Come on, let's go home.
[ His head shakes in answer to that question. Ahhh, one of them seriously did something that hysterical and he didn't get to see it…? Hopefully it was the bum from a moment ago. That would have been perfect — wait, never mind, he takes that back. Hopes it wasn't. Because then Denji's bland, whittled expression would turn to one of genuine upset in a snap, and he doesn't have the strength to pull through all that without giving himself a headache. ]
Nuh-uh, you're the kid. The kiddest of all kids.
[ He only saw him play early in the game, but the memory of Aki energetically bounding from one side of the field to the opposite with such focus, like he was having fun, is superimposed into his mind's eye. Reminds him of when they were younger, when he could actually run alongside him and not feel his chest desperately trying to wring the air from his lungs.
Batting Aki's hand away he rubs a palm across his face, not realizing he's smudging it, spreading the mark to his other cheek. As soon as he's finished with that, he takes one look at his palm, a little darker than it was before, presumably from the dirt, and cleans against Aki's own cheek, the contact nothing too aggressive. Almost like a caress by how his fingers curl into his face, sweeping down his jaw. In the background, there are sirens blaring, fast and far. Denji doesn't pay them any mind.
A satisfied humph comes from him once he's pulled away. Aki was already grimy before from the game, but now Denji feels like he's really done his part. ]
'kay, let's go. [ Pushing himself up, he drags his bag over his shoulder with him. ] Wasn't there a place close by?
[Aki's up on his feet as Denji rises and tugs on his shirt as they begin to walk toward the road. He nods to his question, digging out his wallet and checking - he still has a few hundred yen on hand. More than enough for that.]
It's on the way home. [He really does feel kind of good, still. The sirens usually would make him anxious but he barely notices them. Even if that guy had made him feel strange with that question, it's easy to bounce back after you actually get to have some fun. Maybe Denji is right, that he should stop and smell the flowers sometimes, that things like this are worthwhile...?]
[But then he stops on the sidewalk, reaching out to grab Denji by the backpack before he can get too far. He's reading a sign posted on the window of a construction shop, temp work often posted by the door but usually out of his league in terms of how well he can pass as an adult. This, however, is an urgent request for someone to help in a warehouse over the weekend when a large shipment is due to come in. The pay isn't stellar, but better than nothing. Aki tugs the flyer off the window and folds it up, pushing it into his pocket. He'll call the number when they get home.]
[The taiyaki place isn't much further, just a sweets shop he remembers had them last time they went. He wasn't planning to, but now that he might have a job this weekend Aki orders one for himself as well. When he hands Denji's to him, he makes sure to add,] Don't tell Power. She'll throw a fit.
[Yeah. Compared to an hour ago, things already feel a lot better. No weird door talk, no Denji pouting at him, no health trouble with Denji... Just some taiyaki and some extra money after the weekend.]
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Sue him for being curious. ]
And whadd'you know about my type?
[ Denji scooches in next to him, poking at the screen and tapping past the different meal offerings. Even though he technically knows what he wants, that katsudon is looking really good. Ahhh, but they had chicken yesterday. ]
She just seemed nice. That's all. [ Not that the others aren't. They're polite in that distant way that always feels like a hurdle to jump over when you're getting to know someone. He adds adds the salmon and a fountain drink to their order before stepping back to let Aki pay for them both. ] I mean, none of the others looked that broken up over what happened to that dude from yesterday. I wonder if maybe they were dating. Like, secretly.
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[He picked salmon. What a good boy. Maybe he will get him taiyaki after this.]
She said she sat next to him, right? [Order paid, he grabs the slips of paper that are spit out and hands them over the counter before looking for a seat.] Someone you see every day, but don't really talk to, suddenly dying would feel weird, I bet.
[He pauses as he sits down. Thinking about it.]
...I'm sure the others were upset in their own way. [Because now he's wondering if Denji thinks he's weird for not saying anything about it, or looking sad about it. He didn't know the guy, but he was in the same grade. Should he drag Denji to a shrine or something? But what good would that do, if it was only to make himself feel better? For now, he decides to ditch the topic and jump onto the one that's actually bothering him.] But you got upset during that reading. What happened?
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And, let's be real, Denji of all people isn't judging. Even with the panic yesterday's events sent them into, he doesn't feel changed by it or regretful that someone lost their life; there's even a juvenile part of him that's happy to be receiving a free day off from all the commotion. A kid died and now he gets to have lunch with his big brother, who'd otherwise be busy with schoolwork and his part-time job. Is it normal to feel that way? If it is, doesn't that make the girl's reaction more of an oddity?
He's almost relieved to be distracted from his own thoughts by Aki's question. That is, until he realizes what he's asking. ]
What're you bringing that up for? [ Denji folds over the table, resting his chin on his crossed arms. Pretends to be examining an imaginary smudge on the table varnishing up close. ] Nothing happened. She said some mumbo jumbo 'bout a tree or a heart, whatever, and I just got sick of it. Who wants to pay to get scammed, right?
[ He huffs, like a bull extinguishing air from its nostrils. ]
'specially by somebody who speaks in a phony accent! That's like if I let Powy fool me into eating Meowy's cat food again.
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[Aki sits back when Denji leans over the table, watching him pout and scratch at the surface like he just asked him about a bad grade he got. But while she did say those things about a heart, and about a tree, it was the later words that seemed to agitate him.]
[Aki isn't stupid, though. He doesn't know how he'll respond if he tries to push him on it. If he'll bolt like he did the last time. But he didn't just earlier, so... Maybe he can nudge him just a little further.]
You got pale when she talked about doors.
[He was paying attention, after all. Was trying to figure out if there could possibly be anything useful in a five-hundred yen reading. He'd figured not, and still assumes not, but...]
I'll bet they have different words and terms they bring up all the time. Like trees, and roots... So a door is probably like that. [Winding up a softball. Waiting to see if he'll jump to catch it or ignore it fully. After a beat, he finally lobs the pitch.] But you said something about it to me before, that night you found Pochita.
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The compulsion is there. The feeling that he should be racing from the scene of a crime, a punishment yet to be enforced. ]
2/2
The panic flashing through his expression is recognizable, as is the effort he applies to school the violent rocket of his heartbeat into something he can speak around. Dragging the cup toward his end of the table, he takes a sip. ]
What about it?
1/2
[Yeah, there it is. That same tense pull of his body, in his shoulders, in his jaw. Aki watches each muscle pull ridgid in his little brother and waits for the answer, for something to come out within that tension. The drinks come, sit on the table. Cola and green tea. He stares across at him, still waiting.]
[...Does he think he's stupid?]
Denji.
[He doesn't reach for his drink, eyes still stuck on him, watching every twitch of his body. Every shift of his muscles. Where the tension focuses and how it moves through him, like an elastic band he can trace the ripple of through every nerve. And just as he opens his mouth to say something, something about how he knows it means something to him, something about how he has things that scare him, too...]
2/2
["Hey! Hayakawa!"]
[Aki raises his head and turns to look. Two boys from his class, one holding a soccer ball under his arm, are stepping into the restaurant and pushing through the tables to greet him. Asking him what he's up to, if it's true he saw the devil yesterday. What did it look like? Did he see the devil hunters, too? And that they're going to the field after lunch, does he want to come join for a game?]
[The interruption is a little jarring, but Aki passes a look at Denji, lips parted like he's going to ask, Do you want to go? But then they close, pull tight. No. He had blood drawn and got spooked by something. The last thing he needs is for him to nearly faint two days in a row.]
Maybe I'll stop by, once I bring him home. [Common Aki lie. He probably won't stop by, but it's a nice thing to say. The two boys look disappointed, complaining that he never plays with them anymore. Their bowls arrive before they can guilt him much further and Aki waves them off, telling them he heard school might be closed for a few more days so maybe tomorrow if the weather's good. They seem to take that well enough and head off to make their order, passing Denji a brief nod of the head. "Who's that?" "Hayakawa's little bro." "What was his name?" Their voices fade as Aki splits his chopsticks and breaks the egg yolk on his meal.]
Want the ginger? [And he scoops the beni shoga off the side of the meal, offering it out to place on Denji's. For the moment, all the door talk seems to have been forgotten.]
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Like this, he can see him doing all that normal, teenage stuff with the same clarity as a spiritist communing with the future. He doesn't need a crystal ball to forecast how his life should be playing out. Aki: hanging out with his friends, playing soccer, walking into a house with two parents and a little sibling that isn't him. And, yeah, having sex. Because Aki's normal. He gets asked out to places, people like that he's around. Girls see someone they can count on in him, a trustworthiness they selfishly want to make their own.
It isn't that he thinks Aki's stupid. He just doesn't know if he'd get it, and there's a small piece of him that's jealous of that.
At the same time that Aki offers his ginger to Denji, he blurts out the following: ]
— You don't gotta take me home, y'know. [ He blinks, startled for a split second, not expecting their words to overlap. When Aki's question registers, he briefly nods, shoves his bowl forward, and continues. ] I wanna watch you play. I can just sit on the side, if you wanna be a killjoy about it, but I'll be fine if I'm just walkin' around… 'specially after eating, right?
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[Aki sits in silence as Denji speaks once he sets the ginger down in his bowl. He mixes his meal together, letting the yolk sink into the rice and combine with the sauce as Denji calls him out, coaxes at him. He's right, which is the annoying thing - he can leave Denji on the sidelines and he'll be just as safe as if he were stuck at home. And what's he going to get up to at home, anyway? Maybe mess around with that devil, bond even closer to it. If that zombie devil showed up again...]
[He finally looks up, not seeming content, but also like he can't really argue. Usually he would put his foot down anyway. No. 'Cause I said so. Typical childish arguments and reasonings. But Aki doesn't want to be a child, or use their kind of logic. And he said it himself, that night he made that contract. That he wants to be able to trust him. If he says he'll be okay, he can believe that, right?]
I guess we can go... [And why does he sound disappointed? Not even Aki is sure. Because Denji is telling him that he doesn't need him to be taking care of him, that he'll be fine is Aki is with other boys for a few hours while Denji watches from the sidelines? ...He'd like to think he's not that shallow, but it does pinch him in the same spot the stupid acorn song pinches him. He spears into a piece of chicken to split it in two.] Just don't complain if you get bored.
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[ Shreds of pickled ginger, sesame, and cooked salmon fly out as he tosses the contents of his own bowl. Too much force, as always, even when a gentler touch like Aki's could work just as well to ensure the glaze and his toppings are well-incorporated into the rice. Just another thing that sets them apart, but this one Denji doesn't notice, doesn't bitterly pick at over and over like a crusted scratch he can't leave alone; no, he's chewing slow for once, watching him too closely again. Hasn't really stopped watching even once the other boys left. ]
…Hey. [ His foot nudges against him under the table. ] What're you pouting for? You don't want your oyakodon anymore or something?
[ Someone told him once that the reason the dish was called that is because the parent, being the chicken, and the kid, being the egg, are all mixed up into one deliciously runny nest, almost like there's no differentiation. When he looks at Aki, he kinda sees that same thing — he won't take back that mom comparison from last last night, because it's still true to him, but it's not as if the kid his age is invisible to him, either. It's just, like with oyakodon, you gotta take a real big bite to figure out which one it is you're dealing with.
…Denji wedges a cut of salmon between his chopsticks, unceremoniously dumping it over the other toppings, still glistening with raw yolk. ]
Here. Lemme know if you wanna switch.
[ He really doesn't want to. Switch, that is. The reason they decided to eat out was so that he could have the salmon! Ugh, but this is a good and mature response to your older sibling not wanting what they ordered, isn't it? And Aki is always telling him to grow up… ]
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[Given how fiercely his heart was pumping when he watched Denji stab that devil with Pochita, it's probably fair to say he's gotten enough exercise for the week. But as Denji drops some of his salmon onto the top of his bowl, Aki recognizes what has really been bothering him since he made that comment. The thing about him being like a mom. Last night he'd just rolled over and ignored him, but the cherry on top had been when he gripped his shoulder and told him not to cry. A misunderstanding of the type of offense he had caused. And again here, where he thinks Aki is upset by his meal choice as opposed to the greater picture. He's not pouting - but if he was pouting, it wouldn't be about his meal. It's Denji continuously telling him he's alright when he knows that's not the case. And not understanding Aki's trepidation and disbelief, instead framing it as something wholly unrelated.]
[And also he's still a little upset about the mom comment.]
I don't want your meal.
[He picks up the salmon and drops it back into Denji's bowl. He's the last person who needs to be giving food away. Meeting the foot that nudged him under the table with a light kick, barely more than a knock of the toe of his shoe, he digs into his food for real, eyes low as he focuses there instead of on the boy across from him.]
You're so clueless about everything. It's so annoying.
[He scoops a large heaping of rice and chicken from the bowl, eating it in one bite as he lets Denji sit on that for a moment.]
One day you're going to tick off the wrong person, you know. You're lucky it's just me you're bothering right now.
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He should be able to discern the things Aki says in irritation from the things he says in concern, except right now he just feels like he can't keep up. Can't understand him. Can't be someone he isn't, can't know what he doesn't. But maybe his brother's right, that he isn't trying enough. The stuff that's hard for Denji to wrap his head around didn't always used to bother him, but as they've aged and Aki's been asking more him to take on more responsibilities… ]
…I know.
[ The part about being lucky. He knows that Aki pulled the short end of the stick, that he owes Aki, that it'll be even longer yet before he's able to come close to making it up to him, with interest. Might even be the rest of Denji's life, what's left of it to squander on something like this. He knows that. ]
What do you want me to do?
[ A sigh drags from his lips as he digs in at last, stacking a little bit of everything atop the salmon. Shoves it down the hatch, hoping that eating will — do something. Fix his head, or clear it, at the very least, but nothing happens. No magic enlightenment or feel-good relief. Each bite he takes is uncomfortable, like he's swallowing past a scale or a fish bone stubbornly sticking to his throat. He stretches a hand for his glass, but when ice catches between his teeth, he realizes it's empty. ]
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[It's easy to tell when he's said something that has affected Denji. Like yesterday, when he told him he didn't want to have to carry him again. The way his eyes widen, pupils dart aside. He's so obvious. It's annoying. Like when he was younger and would try to lie to cover for Power. What does he want him to do...?]
...Just do what I tell you to. [Which he does, mostly. He's pretty obedient which had maybe been an early reason he'd let Denji stick around him. If he told him to buzz off, he would. He'd always come back later, though, long enough for Aki to recover from any negative mood he was having.] You know that saying about what happens when you assume? How you make an ass out of you and me.
[Said slowly so he gets it. Then Aki reaches over and pushes his tea toward Denji, across the table toward where his hand has grabbed the empty glass of soda.]
[This kind of back and forth doesn't feel too unusual. He'd maybe give the excuse that he's still stressed from yesterday, still a little shaken up by his closest encounter with a devil. He'd always assumed that would happen when he was a hunter, not a student. He's never wondered what would happen if the Gun Devil returned today, or tomorrow. It's always felt like something he can prepare for, something he'll be ready for in the near but not immediate future. But now he's not sure. He doesn't know what tomorrow is going to be like, only what he wants it to be like six months from now. Suddenly having to think about the next day, the next hour, the next minute is stressful. Especially when he has two other people's futures to think about, too.]
[When they're finished eating, Aki making sure Denji didn't leave any rice in his bowl, he makes his way out to the field, the same place he goes to run laps and train. It's a broad, open space between town and the school, just developed enough that it doesn't feel like an overgrown grass field but quiet enough that it isn't right up against the busier roads. The two classmates from earlier are already kicking the ball between two goals along with a few other kids who joined in, so Aki leads Denji over to the edge of the field while he pulls off his jacket, offering it out to him. Even though it's a little chilly, they seem to be doing shirts and skins. One less skin, by his count, so he starts to tug off his top as well.]
...Oh, yeah. [He raises his head, just remembering.] We can get taiyaki on the way home. So don't eat all the candy you took.
[Then tosses his shirt to him as well.]
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If Aki only wants him to do as he's told, maybe it's fine. Maybe it doesn't matter. ]
Fine. [ From his position on the grassy turf beside the playing field, he holds a hand out to catch the bunched up shirt, but it whips past, the spread of it slapping into his face. Grunting, Denji drags the shirt down, but not before giving it a curious sniff. For being out all day, it still smells pretty clean. ] …He totally did that on purpose.
[ Well, whether Aki did or not isn't something he can contest, with him cutting across to his other teammates, a relatively strong-looking group of boys. The other side about evenly matched, by the look of it. So gross, what a sausage fest…
And yet Denji doesn't look away once throughout the first match, not even to check his phone, his skinny legs folded close to his chest as he watches a midfielder on the shirtless team nimbly pass the ball on to one of the two broad-shouldered boys that'd stopped by their table. At some point, it occurs to him that some of these players are probably a part of their school's soccer team, but it doesn't look like Aki's having too much trouble keeping apace. Which, obviously, he wouldn't — that's his brother we're talking about here. But also he's always been good at this stuff, since way back. His body moving wherever he wants it to, a similar look in his eyes as when he talks about his goals and moving out to Tokyo triggering.
"Hey, I gotta head home," a shirt says, after their team lands the winning score of the match and they break for water. His eyes are pinned to his phone screen, rapidly typing a message to whoever he's talking to. "My sister's headed into labor. So… I guess I'm gonna be an uncle now."
Despite the casual breaking of the news and the boy trying to keep face, trying not to look too excited, there's a clamor of congratulations from his teammates. Some skins playfully taunt him, that he's just making up an excuse to leave on a high note because he's afraid of losing, to which he simply rolls his eyes with a laugh. Shrugging both the jeers and well wishes off, the boy quickly gathers his duffel bag and rushes off with a brief wave. The team captain of the shirts, who Denji recognizes to be the other guy that'd stopped by their table, rubs at the back of his head as he does a recount of his team, pulling a face when he's done.
Then, his eyes land on Denji. "Hey, you, Mini Hayakawa." ]
Uh, me…? [ He looks up from where he'd been digging a power bank from Aki's bag. His phone's about to die from the gaming he did earlier, so…
"Yeah. You wanna play? We're down a man now, if you couldn't tell."
Denji blinks dopily before scanning the area for his brother. ]
I'unno. I mean, maybe? I gotta ask him first… [ Wherever Aki is, he tries to wave him over — or if he isn't nearby, he'll probably just call out to him: ] Nii-san. Your pal's begging me to play with you guys —
[ "I'm not begging you — " ]
Can I?
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[The news that one of them is about to do something as grown up as become an uncle is surprising to Aki, congratulating the other boy along with everyone else but falling back from giving any smack talk. He's wiping some mud off his pants when he thinks he hears his name but raising his head reveals that it's the other boy talking to Denji, not himself. And then Denji looks over and repeats the question to him, if he can play, and without even taking a second to think Aki's answer is immediate: ] Hell no.
[The other boy looks at him in confusion, though quickly tries to make light of it. "What, you don't want to lose to your own - " But Aki interrupts him before he can finish the joke of a question.] He's not fit for it. He got blood taken today, and... [Attacked the day before. It's not like many people know about Denji's health issues, nor is Aki one to share that information with no preamble, but something seems to click in the other boy who had stopped by their table and he nudges the first one, giving him a look. They knew they were involved in the situation yesterday, it seems.] He's going to get worn out too fast. Look, I'll sit out, if you want to keep it even.
[Clearly that isn't the preferable solution, however, given the dour look over the other players' faces. Aki doesn't budge, however, even as another player suggests Denji just be a goalie.] He can't play. He's too weak.
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There really isn't any room for loopholes in such a clear-cut declaration. The team captain guy shares a look with one of his players for a moment, and in seeming to come to a silent consensus, turns back to Denji with a good-natured but helpless smile. Obviously, they aren't interested in stepping into family matters. "What the big bro says, goes. Sorry, Mini, maybe next time. If you see the ball go outta bounds, you can kick it back into the field, if you want." As if to give him the chance to interject, he shoots a short glance Aki's way, accompanied by a quickly said, "That should be fine, right?"
In the same conversation, the boy dismisses Aki's offer to sit out, bumping his shoulder into his brother's with a wicked grin and his chest puffed. Says something about how the rest of the skins need him, seeing as they're on a losing streak so far. Rested and rehydrated, the remaining players begin to mosey back to the field, but before Aki can get too far Denji throws a hand out, tugging at his waistband, expression dark. Downcast. ]
I…
[ I'm mad at you, he could tell him. Use his trump card to get what he wants. But does he have the right to? Aki did only agree to take him if he just sat on the sidelines without pushing himself — and, honestly, it's not the immediate rejection of the idea that has him upset, exactly. Denji sucks on the inside of his cheek, his face twitching and creasing, as he weighs his next words. ]
I wish you wouldn't say that crap. 'bout me being weak.
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[Denji's response isn't unexpected, but given the look Aki casts him in response, it isn't taken too seriously. What, is he going to argue with him? Even if he ate earlier, there's no way he's back to normal. And even then, if he was, did he just forget about how close he was to passing out yesterday, how he stumbled around for the better part of the evening? And his feet are still a little scratched up from that other night. Seriously, what is with him, thinking he can argue with this?]
[Then he takes in Denji's expression and feels something cold settle over his heart, like a snowdrift, a pile dropping onto him from the roof of a home. He looks like Taiyou, pouting up at him. "I wanna go play with Nii-chan." All the ways things have and haven't changed, living with a brother who was too sick most days to even get out of bed. And one of the few days he did disobey, came following Aki outside, tossed some snow at his back and laughed at his indignation - how had that ended?]
[He pulls out of his grip, clearly affected by that memory, turning away all at once. He doesn't want to see that face. Not right now.]
We'll talk when we get home.
[He heads back to the group of boys, accepting the ball kicked his way and dribbling it toward them. He knows most people think of him as a little overprotective, maybe a little harsh on both Denji and Power, but he also knows most people think of them as kids who always end up in trouble. Kids who always have their noses where they don't belong. Compared to Aki, his do-good personality, of course he would be the one to scold them and keep them on the right path. Compared to them, of course Aki would know what that right path is.]
[Even if the path is sitting on the side of the field, a stray ball rolling his way once or twice. By the time the game is over, the winter sun is already getting low in the sky. As they break, the skins finally winning (though Aki knows it's thanks to having one extra pair of legs running around), he's exhausted, sweaty and muddy around the ankles. However, as the group moves back to where Denji was waiting, one of them knocking Aki in the side for his attempted nutmeg earlier, he doesn't look it. Compared to the cold, almost upset look he had left Denji with, his mood clearly improved by the end of the game. He feels - good, honestly. Probably for the first time since he had that conversation with Denji about going to the beach.]
[Plopping down in the grass and downing the water someone else tosses him, he leans back and lets out a tired breath.] Lemme just sit a minute.
[Whatever he was thinking about Denji's expression, how it had reminded him so starkly of his brother - his real brother - it's gone now. Filed away, pushed back into its shallow box.]
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That other face he pulls as he turns from him, too, is just like Aki. Denji only sees a flash of it, but he knows when his brother is shuttering him out, closing the blinds on him, some other far off view taking his place. It's probably why the only thing Denji winds up doing balling his fists at his sides and letting him go. They talked about this last night: that Aki can visit the places that he can't reach all he wants, but that, whatever happens, he has to come back.
So fine, Denji will wait this out.
Around the time he accepts there won't be anymore balls for him to throw back into the game, he starts to nod off, his head lolling every so often. Though he tries to endurethe each wave of sleepiness, turn after turn, it isn't long before he's laying on his side, eyes closed, and using his bag as a pillow. His patch of ground is kind of lumpy, the grass blades too itchy, but with the shadows of the nearby buildings and trees beginning to pitch forward, he's fast asleep within minutes.
The nap isn't nearly long enough for him to have any special dreams, but the rest of the world does dull into a blissful blankness. He isn't even aware of the game ending, the players still running high from the adrenaline of a good game, or his brother sitting close by. ]
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[Most of the guys have started on the way home, heading out in groups of two or three, dirty from the afternoon of childhood fun. A day that probably won't last in their memory. Aki's, either, he thinks, leaned back in the grass beside Denji's prone form. There's just one other kid left, the one who hadn't known Denji's name back at that restaurant. As he waves off someone, he turns to look at Aki, down at Denji. Seems to be mulling over his question before finally asking - "What's wrong with him?"]
[Aki glances down, like he'll get some kind of answer on Denji's sleeping face. He could just give the same spiel he always gives, to teachers or doctors or anyone in a position of authority. Sickly, a poor constitution. Heart disease. Whatever words he last was given as an answer to what is 'wrong' with Denji. But that exact phrasing bothers him, brings him back to just an hour or so ago. The way Denji had stared at him, clearly miffed, maybe embarrassed, at how Aki had phrased it. Even if it's true, even if Denji is weak, wakes up coughing in the night, can't even do Sports Day most years... Now, hearing it from someone else, he kind of hates it, too. Feels a tinge of regret, guilt, about how he'd so curtly called him that in front of a bunch of kids who don't even know Denji's name. Just know now that he's "weak."]
Nothing's wrong with him. [He doesn't really know this guy, only shares mutual friends, so he doesn't feel bad about speaking to him too bluntly.] You'd be tired, too, after yesterday.
[The other player seems to at least recognize he's stepped in something by asking, shuffling uncomfortably on his feet before finally raising his hand as he heads off, says a brief, Later. Aki watches him go, finally sitting up and crossing his legs. The breeze feels nice, cooling the sweat rolling down his bare back. He reaches out to tug blades of grass out of the ground and sprinkles it on Denji's head. They roll down onto his face, over his nose.]
Hey. Let's get taiyaki.
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Aki's not nearly as rude as he would be, and yet the next words out of his mouth still makes his throat dry up. His cheeks sore from keeping his mouth set in a line when all he wants to is… is what? Curl his whole body around his older brother's and hide his face into the side of his sweaty hip? He can't do that.
When the grass clumps skim past his nostrils, he involuntarily sniffs, nearly inhaling a blade up his nose. ]
Hrk… [ A single eye blearily squints up at him — tired, but not disgruntled. Turning over, he tries to rub his face into his knee. How about that? ] No, five more minutes. [ And then his eye stubbornly shuts again, apparently not totally bought out by the prospect of food.
This lasts for five seconds, maybe less, of course, before his expression twists, like he's trying to fight back the urge to open his eyes… until he finally gives in. ]
…So didja win this time?
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[Aki waits for Denji to settle before reaching out to snag his shirt off the ground, tugging it on over his head. To the question about winning, he shrugs.] It was close. One of those guys faceplanted - did you see it?
[He hadn't realized Denji had fallen asleep until that happened, looking his way and expecting to see him keeled over in a fit of laughter at the other boy's suffering. So he already knows the answer, that he missed that spectale. But the truth is, he doesn't really want to get into who won or lost. It should have been an easy victory but they only won by a single goal. He'd blame the rest of his team, but he knows he was distracted for half the game. And how stupid is that, to be moody over someone else pouting at you? It was like their numbers were equal in the first half.]
[Aki reaches down and brushes a blade of grass from Denji's hair.] You got just as dirty as me, napping on the ground like a kid. [But compared to his tone when he left him an hour ago, he sounds more playful now, less serious. Caring, as he smushes at a speck of dirt that got on his cheek, presses at the line in his face he got from sleeping on that bag.] Come on, let's go home.
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Nuh-uh, you're the kid. The kiddest of all kids.
[ He only saw him play early in the game, but the memory of Aki energetically bounding from one side of the field to the opposite with such focus, like he was having fun, is superimposed into his mind's eye. Reminds him of when they were younger, when he could actually run alongside him and not feel his chest desperately trying to wring the air from his lungs.
Batting Aki's hand away he rubs a palm across his face, not realizing he's smudging it, spreading the mark to his other cheek. As soon as he's finished with that, he takes one look at his palm, a little darker than it was before, presumably from the dirt, and cleans against Aki's own cheek, the contact nothing too aggressive. Almost like a caress by how his fingers curl into his face, sweeping down his jaw. In the background, there are sirens blaring, fast and far. Denji doesn't pay them any mind.
A satisfied humph comes from him once he's pulled away. Aki was already grimy before from the game, but now Denji feels like he's really done his part. ]
'kay, let's go. [ Pushing himself up, he drags his bag over his shoulder with him. ] Wasn't there a place close by?
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[Aki's up on his feet as Denji rises and tugs on his shirt as they begin to walk toward the road. He nods to his question, digging out his wallet and checking - he still has a few hundred yen on hand. More than enough for that.]
It's on the way home. [He really does feel kind of good, still. The sirens usually would make him anxious but he barely notices them. Even if that guy had made him feel strange with that question, it's easy to bounce back after you actually get to have some fun. Maybe Denji is right, that he should stop and smell the flowers sometimes, that things like this are worthwhile...?]
[But then he stops on the sidewalk, reaching out to grab Denji by the backpack before he can get too far. He's reading a sign posted on the window of a construction shop, temp work often posted by the door but usually out of his league in terms of how well he can pass as an adult. This, however, is an urgent request for someone to help in a warehouse over the weekend when a large shipment is due to come in. The pay isn't stellar, but better than nothing. Aki tugs the flyer off the window and folds it up, pushing it into his pocket. He'll call the number when they get home.]
[The taiyaki place isn't much further, just a sweets shop he remembers had them last time they went. He wasn't planning to, but now that he might have a job this weekend Aki orders one for himself as well. When he hands Denji's to him, he makes sure to add,] Don't tell Power. She'll throw a fit.
[Yeah. Compared to an hour ago, things already feel a lot better. No weird door talk, no Denji pouting at him, no health trouble with Denji... Just some taiyaki and some extra money after the weekend.]
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