[ There is an unrelated canister of firmly capped rat poison outside on the table that with one good whack could easily fall on top of their dinner, but, other than that, doesn't appear to have a single thing to do with their steaming dinner. ]
What?! Don't pick me up! Ahhh, abort, abort —
[ The trim of his socks slip down his heel as he vainly tries to stretch his toes out to the ground and hinder Aki's progress. Denji's wriggling around also doesn't seem to be contributing much to the effort. How humiliating.
"Have some respect and cease your sniveling, Denji! The whelp may advance." An evil slyness enters Power's expression. "If he dares."
The two of them now fully crossed inside the kitchen threshold, he shakes off Aki's hands to spin toward Power, glaring her down in annoyance. ]
Shut up. 'm not — sniffling. Or whatever it is you said.
[ After some trial and error, they'd managed to divide and transform Power's meat wad into a medium-well hamburger lump. The likeness of one, at least. Neither of them have taken a bite yet, of course, so whether it satisfies Aki's standards for edibility (or only approaches it) is something they've yet to test. He wasn't too adventurous this time, each patty stuffed with the typical seasonings and ingredients like onions, panko, tofu, egg, potato chips, raw instant noodles, and whole cloves of garlic. Pretty normal.
At Power's insistence, he'd left the ponzu sauce to her, which as she steps away from the stove, looks… exactly as a sauce of its kind should. It may be bubbling and fizzling more than he's ever seen before, but it could be okay? With a hand to Aki's shoulder, Denji nudges him forward, almost as if he's using him as a human shield. ]
It's a dinner made for you. The guest of honor should taste test it!
[...They actually made something that looks edible? And it's cooked?]
[Aki tells himself not to be this shocked. It's a hamburger. All you have to do is beat the meat into a patty and then fry it, then stick it between two buns. Hell, even if they didn't tenderize it or mash it, it would still probably be fine. Aki steps further into the kitchen once he sets Denji down and studies their concoction a little closer, his eyes only flashing to the rat poison for a moment before remembering - Right, it was under the sink behind a few extra things he bought in case they ran out. And it looks like they used up the panko and broke open the new box.]
[...There is a slight smell of something, but it's well-masked by the cooked oil in the pan, so he assumes they just burned something at some point.]
You guys really made a whole meal.
[Despite telling himself to calm down, he still sounds shocked. He peels off the bun on one and spies an entire clove of garlic stuffed into the patty and thinks - Is that as bad as it is? That's hardly anything. Hell, that's nearly normal. They really made a whole meal.]
[He slowly raises his head, looking up at the ceiling for a moment. And it's not immediately clear what he's doing - if he's going to cry or what - but after a long pause he finally says...]
[The relief is mixed with something like pride as he turns his head and looks at them both. Power looks pretty damn happy with herself, urging him to try their handiwork and reminding him to dip it into her special sauce, she made it herself and cursed it with a special curse that will prevent Aki from going bald for ten more years. Aki picks up one of the burgers that doesn't have an entire onion wedge or garlic clove in it and spoons a bit of the sauce on the meat, then raises it up to take a bite.]
[And then almost immediately spits it out straight into Denji's face.]
What the - What - What meat - Where did you get this?! [He coughs and sputters as he speaks.] This is - It's sour! [It tastes like a mix of sour milk and sweaty socks. He gags on the flavor and coughs harder, dropping it back down on the counter.] You - goddamn idiots, what did you do?!
[ Gratitude is nice. Feels even better, since he's pretty sure he deserves it.
Still, the feeling of receiving it tends to make his ears flame up. Makes him forget that he was doing this to get something out of it, but now it feels like he's gotten more than enough. The gentle glimmer in Aki's eyes has nothing to do with how bright the lights are in their apartment — no, it's an unguarded expression of his Denji knows well. Possibly because he can never force himself to look away when he thinks Aki might be about to bring a hand up to his face, block of his view of what could be unshed tears. He stands at one side of him, grinning from ear to ear, inching closer to see. He's impatient for him to take that first bite, tell him he did a job well done, admit that he can rely on Denji, after all.
Power, on the other side of Aki, also presses inward to watch. Probably, she just likes to see him cry. Or maybe it's because she's aware of what's about to happen… ]
[ Denji's speaking when Aki spits into his face, so, of course, the giant splotch of regurgitated food (questionable) catches on his lips. A good chunk winds up in his actual mouth, and it's — slimy and fatty and stretchy, but when he really bites down on it, he feels something crunching? And not in the good way, holy crap, what is this? Why does it taste like a cockroach crawled into pickle juice and got fermented inside —
Gagging, he clings to the countertop as he hunches over, a hand slapped over his mouth to swallow the taste down. After a moment, a short belch rumbles from him. ]
Hurk… Hurgh… How could you…?
[ The accusatory question's pointed at both Aki and Power. ]
[Aki is still recovering, heaving in deep breaths and trying to pull the fridge open to find something to wash out the taste with, but before he can he sees Denji grab the edge of the counter, hand over his mouth, and he starts to panic.] Don't swallow, don't swallow, don't - !
[There's the gulp. And the burp. Aki feels pale as he looks from him to Power, who finally can't hold it in and roars with laughter, clutching her stomach as she mocks them both and their feeble stomachs, unable to handle her magic and witchcraft. Aki feels heat rise to his face. His cheeks red and eyes wide, it takes him a long moment to formulate anything to say over her laughter and cackles.]
You're - not going to the beach!
[That makes her stop on a dime, looking at him like he's insane. Not going to the beach? What is he talking about, it's a family trip, of course she's going to the beach with them. "Don't speak such foolish - " she begins, but Aki interrupts her.] No! You're staying here! You're - You're banned! From the trip!
[He has such little power over them at times that he has to pull out the heavy punches. That's what he tells himself as Power stares at him in shock, waiting for him to take it back. Because he always does. Not this time, he tells himself, hurrying forward to grab their mess of a food and shove it into the trash.]
[ Once the shock of her punishment wears off, Power bellows back that Aki can’t just flout their family rules as he pleases. Apparently unaware of how righteous that sounds coming from her. Though Denji's slid to ground, hands buckled at his stomach to keep its contents pushed back, he can't seem to keep quiet at her crimes. ]
Isn't… poisoning your brothers not just breaking a rule, but a real-life law? Murderer! [ Another burp. Ugh, he's really got a bad case of gas now. ] Gonna… report you to the police — later.
[ Later, because Denji chooses that moment to fall on his side and hobble toward Pochita. He needs something warm to use as a heating pad to help settle the boiling acids in his stomach.
In the meanwhile, Power stares at his fleeing form, mouth hanging open as cold sweat openly pours down her face. She's researched this for recreational enrichment before: Murder is punishable by death in Japan if the case is severe enough. It's true that Denji is a skin-and-bones weakling who can't even lift five pounds for five minutes without getting tired, but…
Suddenly, an idea bursts to her mind.
"Hmph, another prime example of your ignorance, Dummy Denji. What would you do without the Great Detective Power to deduce who really killed you?" Power jabs a finger at Aki. "The one who feasted with such gluttony and then splattered his fill all over your ugly face — 'tis he who murdered you!" It's certainly not due to the fact that he's the only other person there. "If I have to stay back, so does this criminal!" ]
[It's bad when they both get to the point of threatening the police on each other, but it's not often that Power claims Aki is the ultimate culprit. It's so uncommon because it never succeeds - especially not with the withering look he gives her, his eyes pinned on her as Power starts to instinctively shrink back to avoid a slap.]
You're the one who fed me this shit - And I bet it was you who came up with this! [Power immediately begins to insist that Denji put her up to this, but Aki knows that's not the case, because - ] Denji never wastes food! Look at this mess of a kitchen, you wasted a whole week's worth of groceries on this! [More sputtering about how she learned this recipe years ago and that they simply aren't trained enough to accept it.] You can't even make an omelet, let alone cook meat properly! Where did you even get this meat, I hadn't bought any ground beef recently at all...!
[After scoffing and telling him that she is occasionally offered sacrifices from the village and that this was one such offer, Aki goes from furious to confused to outright stumped. Someone from the building gave her spoiled meat? Did she take it from a trash can? Did Meowy or Pochita find it while outside? ...But he told them not to go outside today, and Denji was watching her, so surely she was inside. How the hell...]
[For now, he ignores her continued lecturing about the serfdom of the apartment complex they live in (she's the landlord apparently) and forces her into the kitchen to clean up or else she doesn't get any food at all. And when he unveils his purchases from the convenience store and Power realizes exactly what she might be missing out on... She deflates impressively, grumbling something under her breath about how his serf payments are being doubled this month. Aki ignores her and moves over to Denji, kneeling down next to him and setting a hand on his side.]
Where'd she get that meat from...? Did you guys go out today? [A bit of a warning tone in his voice as he asks that, even with the gentle hand on his side.]
[ With much effort, Pochita squeezes his head through the crook of Denji's arm to nudge his cheek against the hand Aki has set on the younger boy's side. It's the thumping of his cable-tail against Denji's face that prompts his eyelids to thinly slide open, a pout forming at his lips. He doesn't shift to look back at Aki, instead staring ahead at their ajar balcony. Before the disastrous welcome, they'd opened the door and few windows to help vent out the apartment of the sizzling oils and aromatics and… whatever witch's brew Power polluted their mouths with. They'll have to close everything up soon, it's starting to get chilly, but for now, he's glad just to have some fresh air to help cleanse his mind, body, and soul of all that bad juju. ]
Not me. Or her, probably. [ He kept an eye on Power, of course, but he can't discount the possibility that she managed to creep outside his notice, what with all his excitement over the news today. It's unfortunate, but she can be quite the sneakster when she isn't loudly spinning her tales. ] She said — [ He winces at a cramp in his abdomen. ] Mnngh, somethin' about gettin' it from a lowly peddler and keeping it in her bag while we were out yesterday. So maybe she was tryin' to get revenge on us…? Ugh…
[ He's probably going to need to go to the bathroom eventually, but his stomach's still figuring out which bodily system it wants this strange invader to come out. But before that, there's something else pressing on him. ]
Didja really mean it? That Power won't be coming with us? She always goes where we go, y'know.
[ When it comes to big trips and transitions, that's always been the case. The three of them, together. Sure, he wants her arrested, but that doesn't mean he won't feel the teensiest bit bad if she gets left out of going to the beach. ]
[Pochita starts nudging at Aki's hand and he very nearly swats the devil away, still uneasy around him. It would be one thing if he only acted like a dog, but the massive powertool sticking out of his head and the way he's seen it spin to life has him always a little unnerved by the thing. Especially when he's squeezing through Denji's arms.]
Revenge for... Ugh, she's such a brat... [He raises his eyes to glower at her across the room where she's dumping things into the trash while muttering curse spells under her breath. She better not get rid of any of their cookware...]
[But when Denji asks if he was serious, he looks down, brow pinching. Yes, he was, in the moment, but now he recognizes he was just angry. Which, obviously, but... Should he really make her stay home for their first non-grave visit trip in a year? He frowns and sits down on the floor, still mindlessly rubbing his hand over Denji's side.]
...I'll figure something out, but she still needs to be punished somehow. And you can't arrest your sibling for feeding you bad food. [So that idea is out. Keeping his voice low, he mutters,] Maybe I won't get her an ekiben. Or make her sleep in the hall tonight. It has to be something she'll remember.
[But when he says the bit about the hall, he looks up and around, realizing the windows and sliding door have been left open. No wonder it feels so cold in here. He frowns and adds, mostly to himself,] Guess I'll turn on the heater...
Seriously, one night in the slammer would definitely do the trick…
[ The endless motion of Aki's hand actually does help to soothe his unsettled insides. His throat bobs as pockets of gas exit and pop in another series of burps, and that really feels nice as some of the discomfort in his stomach alleviates. ]
If we can't put her in real jail, what about fake jail? You know how psycho she is. It's gotta be by her made-up rules, or else she won't even see it as a punishment. So if Powy put a spell on our food, that makes her a witch. And what happens to bad witches?
[ He sneaks a look at Power, who appears to be tying the the opening of their trash into a knot, then pitches his voice down into a whisper. ]
They get burned at the stake!
[ Or at least that's what remembers happening in a western movie he watched once. ]
Basically, it's just playin' with her. But she'll treat it like it's the real deal, 'cause she's a weirdo.
[Aki doesn't love playing along with her delusions, but unfortunately he knows Denji is right. If they don't play by her tune, she won't actually internalize anything he tries to teach her. And this is kind of a big deal. You can't feed people rotten meat.]
How do you suggest we burn her at the stake, then? [He's also keeping his voice low, leaning down to talk to him. Like this is some secret meeting.] Make her put her ankles up to the floor heater...? I don't want her to actually get burned. [She can't be arrested for feeding them bad food but Aki can probably be arrested for hurting her. Double standards.] Maybe we can hang her upside down for a few minutes.
Yeah. [ He furiously nods, his enthusiasm seeming to catch Power's attention, earning them a suspicious look from over the kitchen counter. ] Upside down, and we gotta sneak up on her and tie her up. We'll probably have to pretend we're like villagers and stuff.
[ Denji's not one to get into character for the roles Power tends to arbitrarily assign him to. He's not an actor. Doesn't really know how to be anyone other than himself. But if it's to wreak justice on his mischievous little sister, then, sure, that's as worthy a cause as any. ]
I think if we tape a flashlight to Pochita and make him spin in a circle, that should look fire-like enough, right?
[So they are burning her at the stake. This isn't really how he planned to spend his evening, but he also thought he'd be eating dinner right now.]
[Speaking of. Passing a look at Power (which she responds to with her own pout), Aki gets up to grab his bag and find the convenience store food he bought. He definitely doesn't trust her with that, and instead brings it back over to Denji, offering them out to let him pick what flavor of ramen he wants to eat.]
We can do it after she finishes cleaning up. I read something about how you're supposed to do something neutral after you punish someone, so she can eat dinner afterwards. [He read that in a book about problem children that he found maybe five years ago, but it probably works for Power.] I think if we tie up her ankles and I flip her over, you can grab the rope and pull it over the top of the door. [So long as Denji doesn't let go, this will work fine. No concussions.] ...And let's leave Pochita out of it, in case he does something weird.
He wouldn't… [ He starts to argue, but he casts another look at the dog, who's wandered toward the screen door and started trying to lick at the glass. If his chainsaw weren't bumping into it, he'd probably be more successful. Denji crawls over to the door to push it closed before Pochita thinks to escape out into the balcony, returning to Aki and the bag of instant ramen in short order. ]
'kay.
[ The different flavors peel out of the bag as Denji sets each cup aside. Any of them would work usually, but he settles on one that has "original" printed on its packaging. Something boring that hopefully won't unsettle his stomach any further. ]
But I'll hafta find somethin' long and sturdy enough to wrap her up. You gotta keep her distracted until then. Remember: You gotta play her screwed up games to make it work. Didn'tcha act in a play that one time? Just pretend you're doin' that again.
[Denji brings up Aki's time as an actor and the blood rushing to his face at the memory colors his cheeks bright red. He has half a mind to smack him for even bringing up that stupid class play. It had been a mortifying experience for him, up in front of so many people reciting lines as best as he could remember, speaking loudly enough so everyone could hear him, and when he went backstage the girl manning the curtains, unable to suppress her giggles and snorts, told him, "You seriously sound like you have no emotion out there!"]
[He had been so embarrassed as he did his next scene that he tripped over his lines and said butthole instead of burglary and the whole audience had chuckled lightly at the flub. Except for his classmate in the wings, smothering her face in the curtains to try and quiet her laughter.]
[Needless to say, he refused to act on stage again after that.]
...Just try and find some kind of rope in the storage bin. I'll bring out the trash with her.
[He gets up to do just that, approaching Power and offering to bring down the trash with her if she promises not to throw it at the bin this time. She hums over this and seems doubtful that not hurling the bag at the bin will actually succeed in dispersing her cursed spell, but Aki takes a note from Denji and tells him he's already done that. She actually accepts that (probably because she's afraid of getting yelled at again) and follows him outside with one of the trash bags in hand.]
[ Denji's grin glints with the knowledge that he's hit what he wanted Aki to remember dead on the head. In his memory, the funniest part of the play was how, during the curtain call, Aki had pinpointed their snickering above the sounds of polite applause and, clearly still mortified, fixed them a look to shut up and settle down, which had only incited another encore of laughter from them. Perhaps it's because he sees a hint of that same expression on Aki's face that he's so easily shooed off to collect the props for their own little play.
Hearing them leave, he hastily uncovers the storage bin from their closet. Some old yearbooks and photo albums from their time at the orphanage are what he immediately unearths, the books piling up to the side as he continues scavenging. No rope that he can find, however, there is leftover duct tape. He strips out a wide enough length of tape that he'll hopefully be able to quickly wind around Power's ankles… It should work the same way with the door, too, he thinks?
Shoving the bin back into the closet, Denji squeezes himself inside and sits there, heart thrumming. Waiting, waiting, until, finally, he catches the sound of their footsteps rattling up the stairs, the jiggle of the door as its pushed open. And that's when Denji pounces out, skidding on his knees to hug Power's legs closed as the tape weaves in and out between her ankles in an infinity loop. ]
Take that, you shitty witch! Light 'er up like a candle, Aki!
[ Power shrieks something about how the village head (Aki?) has betrayed her, and that this heresy will not be forgiven in their lifetime, before then launching into a gibberish spell incantation. Something about spiders laying eggs in their ears. Whatever, Denji mostly ignores her in favor of his own senseless spiel. ]
Bwahaha! Now, this is what I call revenge magic! It's way stronger than your food poisoning spells!
[Duct tape isn't exactly what he was expecting when he came back, but it's passable - Aki nods as Power begins to flail, grabbing her around the center and locking her arms in place.]
Not this time - You're gonna repent for what you did.
[He tries to drag her toward the bedroom but with Denji right in front of them, Power ends up going down first and takes Aki with her. They both splatter to the floor with a heavy Oof! and Aki releases her, pushing himself up to make sure both of them are alright. But that gives her just enough wiggle room to try and run away, cursing them for thinking they could ever conquer her. Aki jumps forward and grabs her again and starts to tell her off more logistically, to watch her knees, but then he remembers Denji's words. Play along. It's the only way it's going to work.]
...We've got to hit her magical - uh, nerve endings. Denji! [And then he goes for her weak spots, tickling her stomach and sides as she shrieks and rolls, begging for mercy and trying to wriggle out of the way. The tape around her ankles makes that near impossible, at least, and even if this isn't a witch burning, hopefully it still works.]
[ After the two had tumbled over like a house of cards, he'd shortly followed, attacking the soles of her feet. Power may writhe and twist in the thinning stitch of sun passing through their apartment, trying to cover her sides, but Denji knows what she can't hide. In-between her breathless wheezes about how underhanded their methods are, she can hardly stifle her laughter, good tears budding at her eyes. Even if this is technically punishment, she can't help but enjoy being at the center of everyone's attention. ]
Not baaad, witch, not bad at all. But you're as weak a baby kitty now — and if we can't burn ya, we're gonna string you up in front of the whole wide world!
[ …The whole wide world being Meowy, Pochita, and Power's stuffed animals.
Denji locks eyes with Aki, trying to signal that now's the time to carry their original plan through of putting her upside down from the door. Arms wrapped around her calves, he starts to lift Power up by her legs. She's heavy, and he can't really maintain his hold for long, but he's counting on Aki to help shoulder her weight. ]
[The tickling seems to have worked in that she's only writhing to escape his fingers rather than Aki, wholly, so when Denji gives him the look, Aki nods in agreement. He grabs her under the legs and Aki goes for her torso, lifting her up off the ground as she yelps in surprise. He shoulders the majority of the weight as they make their way to the bedroom door and he calls out over her cries of indignation,] Toss it over! [and works to try and send her feet-up against the door. Hopefully the tape is strong enough to hold...? He's not really sure, so he ends up holding onto her sideways, clinging to her as her legs shake and she yowls.]
Now - You just gotta, uh - Repent.
[He's not good at thinking on the fly like this, especially when he's out of breath from carrying her. Even if she's smaller than him, she's still a wiggly teenager with bony, sharp limbs that fight him at every turn.]
...Apologize, and we'll consider - [Accepting it? No, stick with this weird magical medieval stuff. God, why does she insist on the medieval stuff?] - pardoning you. Of your crimes.
[Very convincing when he's out of breath, turning his head to see if Denji has secured the tape over the door.]
[ With Aki keeping the most dangerous part of Power occupied (those chompers are worst than his), Denji grunts hard as they tilt her upside down. Because even if Aki's the one shouldering most of her weight, he's still trying his best to support her enough so that she isn't flopping on her ass, crashing a shin against the door frame, or having his jaw meet the business end of her stinky bunions. Giving the middle band of tape between her ankles an extra wrap, he tosses the roll over the top of the door, and shoots another look his brother's way — ]
You ready for this?!
[ What hold Denji has on Power drops completely as he swings himself behind the other side of the door, hops to drag the tape roll — which now looks quite starved from how much he's used on her — down with all his might.
"Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhuuuuhhh?!?" Power shouts in surprise and displeasure. Her back smashes and bobs up against the door as Denji grasps the tape, part of it entwined around his wrist to maintain some leverage. The tape isn't actually long enough anymore for him to cling to without slamming a foot into the door, his other digging as far back into the ground as he can. ]
Repent, repent, repeeeent! If you're sorry enough, we won't call the — [ Wait, were there cops back then? ] Uh, the executioner guys, you know the ones! They round up criminals like you and chop their pinky fingers off when they're bad, right, Aki?
[Chop their pinkies off...?! Are they yakuza now? Aki kind of grimaces when Denji looks at him for back-up, too concerned about all the other things he's said in the past about yakuza to remember it existed before that, too.]
[But the threat seems to work, regardless, and Power is groaning and crying as she's hung upside down - though Aki is still holding her around the waist, making sure Denji isn't really at all responsible for her weight. Her hair is going wild below her as she shakes her head in misery, begging, "Let me goooo, let me gooooo! I won't double cross you ever again!" And this isn't quite a case of double crossing, but Aki shakes her just a little bit.]
You have to say you're sorry, and mean it this time. Apologize to both of us - and to the farmers whose food you wasted, too.
[It's a hard ask for her. Her face is scrunched up in agony at both the physical and social position she's being put in, but after another shake of her body from Aki she finally clenches her eyes shut and declares, "I apologize! I apologize! I'll let you win this time! I'm sorry for accidental attempted assassination...!"]
[Aki nods, then nods to Denji to drop the tape. Then, expecting he'll just do that, he lets go of Power, allowing her to drop onto her head and down to the floor. Or Denji to slam into the door if he wasn't holding strong enough. Whichever or both.]
[ Even though Aki nodded at him and he understood the message being relayed, it still hadn't been enough time to unbound the tape from his forearm to rid himself of Power's body weight. So. The best of both worlds unceremoniously happens: Power's forehead graces the ground, Denji's nose buries itself into the canvas of the door. They groan simultaneously in a pained duet.
A few seconds afterward, his ass topples to the ground and he sits there, nursing his sore arm, red marks spiraling from his elbow to his wrist. That definitely took off a chunk of his arm hair. But Power probably has it worst. Peeking around the door, he spots her already worming her way past Aki to the kitchen to find something sharp to cut through her restraints — but she pauses when she spots Pochita, stopping to think for only a split second, then grabbing his body at both sides and working his blade against the thick tape at her ankles. Denji's too tired to stop her, so he lets his back lean into the door frame as he watches on. ]
G'job with all that repent stuff. [ No matter where Aki is at the moment, his hand finds his nearest body part and pats it. ] That reallllly sold the whole show. I don't even know what that word means, but whenever I copied you, she got even madder!
[ He snickers low, then makes a face as he starts rubbing at his again churning stomach. ]
Mmmguuh, hurts. Gotta rip a fart again.
[ When did he fart the first time… Actually, don't ask. ]
[Power drops down and Denji slams forward and Aki looks between them in a brief flinch of worry before they both let out groans that tell him they're fine, just sore. He watches Power crawl away and use Pochita for chopping off the tape ("Don't do... Ugh..." He gives up on telling her to stop), squatting to the floor beside Denji and taking the pat to his shoulder as he lowers down to sit on his knees. He didn't expect it to work, but... Somehow, Denji really does understand her better than he does. Sometimes he really needs that.]
[But also.] You don't know what repent means...? [And then he's talking about farting and Aki pushes at his shoulder.] Go fart in the bathroom or I'll make you repent, too. [He'll let him think it's some extremely terrible fate for now.]
[But before he can leave, he speaks quietly while watching Power relay what horrible things were just done to her to an audience of a cat and devil.] Thanks, Denji. I can't handle her without you. [He squeezes his shoulder gently, glancing at him sidelong.]
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What?! Don't pick me up! Ahhh, abort, abort —
[ The trim of his socks slip down his heel as he vainly tries to stretch his toes out to the ground and hinder Aki's progress. Denji's wriggling around also doesn't seem to be contributing much to the effort. How humiliating.
"Have some respect and cease your sniveling, Denji! The whelp may advance." An evil slyness enters Power's expression. "If he dares."
The two of them now fully crossed inside the kitchen threshold, he shakes off Aki's hands to spin toward Power, glaring her down in annoyance. ]
Shut up. 'm not — sniffling. Or whatever it is you said.
[ After some trial and error, they'd managed to divide and transform Power's meat wad into a medium-well hamburger lump. The likeness of one, at least. Neither of them have taken a bite yet, of course, so whether it satisfies Aki's standards for edibility (or only approaches it) is something they've yet to test. He wasn't too adventurous this time, each patty stuffed with the typical seasonings and ingredients like onions, panko, tofu, egg, potato chips, raw instant noodles, and whole cloves of garlic. Pretty normal.
At Power's insistence, he'd left the ponzu sauce to her, which as she steps away from the stove, looks… exactly as a sauce of its kind should. It may be bubbling and fizzling more than he's ever seen before, but it could be okay? With a hand to Aki's shoulder, Denji nudges him forward, almost as if he's using him as a human shield. ]
It's a dinner made for you. The guest of honor should taste test it!
1/3
[...They actually made something that looks edible? And it's cooked?]
[Aki tells himself not to be this shocked. It's a hamburger. All you have to do is beat the meat into a patty and then fry it, then stick it between two buns. Hell, even if they didn't tenderize it or mash it, it would still probably be fine. Aki steps further into the kitchen once he sets Denji down and studies their concoction a little closer, his eyes only flashing to the rat poison for a moment before remembering - Right, it was under the sink behind a few extra things he bought in case they ran out. And it looks like they used up the panko and broke open the new box.]
[...There is a slight smell of something, but it's well-masked by the cooked oil in the pan, so he assumes they just burned something at some point.]
You guys really made a whole meal.
[Despite telling himself to calm down, he still sounds shocked. He peels off the bun on one and spies an entire clove of garlic stuffed into the patty and thinks - Is that as bad as it is? That's hardly anything. Hell, that's nearly normal. They really made a whole meal.]
[He slowly raises his head, looking up at the ceiling for a moment. And it's not immediately clear what he's doing - if he's going to cry or what - but after a long pause he finally says...]
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...Thanks, guys.
[The relief is mixed with something like pride as he turns his head and looks at them both. Power looks pretty damn happy with herself, urging him to try their handiwork and reminding him to dip it into her special sauce, she made it herself and cursed it with a special curse that will prevent Aki from going bald for ten more years. Aki picks up one of the burgers that doesn't have an entire onion wedge or garlic clove in it and spoons a bit of the sauce on the meat, then raises it up to take a bite.]
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[And then almost immediately spits it out straight into Denji's face.]
What the - What - What meat - Where did you get this?! [He coughs and sputters as he speaks.] This is - It's sour! [It tastes like a mix of sour milk and sweaty socks. He gags on the flavor and coughs harder, dropping it back down on the counter.] You - goddamn idiots, what did you do?!
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Still, the feeling of receiving it tends to make his ears flame up. Makes him forget that he was doing this to get something out of it, but now it feels like he's gotten more than enough. The gentle glimmer in Aki's eyes has nothing to do with how bright the lights are in their apartment — no, it's an unguarded expression of his Denji knows well. Possibly because he can never force himself to look away when he thinks Aki might be about to bring a hand up to his face, block of his view of what could be unshed tears. He stands at one side of him, grinning from ear to ear, inching closer to see. He's impatient for him to take that first bite, tell him he did a job well done, admit that he can rely on Denji, after all.
Power, on the other side of Aki, also presses inward to watch. Probably, she just likes to see him cry. Or maybe it's because she's aware of what's about to happen… ]
…Yeah. I tried really hard to get it right —
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Gagging, he clings to the countertop as he hunches over, a hand slapped over his mouth to swallow the taste down. After a moment, a short belch rumbles from him. ]
Hurk… Hurgh… How could you…?
[ The accusatory question's pointed at both Aki and Power. ]
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[Aki is still recovering, heaving in deep breaths and trying to pull the fridge open to find something to wash out the taste with, but before he can he sees Denji grab the edge of the counter, hand over his mouth, and he starts to panic.] Don't swallow, don't swallow, don't - !
[There's the gulp. And the burp. Aki feels pale as he looks from him to Power, who finally can't hold it in and roars with laughter, clutching her stomach as she mocks them both and their feeble stomachs, unable to handle her magic and witchcraft. Aki feels heat rise to his face. His cheeks red and eyes wide, it takes him a long moment to formulate anything to say over her laughter and cackles.]
You're - not going to the beach!
[That makes her stop on a dime, looking at him like he's insane. Not going to the beach? What is he talking about, it's a family trip, of course she's going to the beach with them. "Don't speak such foolish - " she begins, but Aki interrupts her.] No! You're staying here! You're - You're banned! From the trip!
[He has such little power over them at times that he has to pull out the heavy punches. That's what he tells himself as Power stares at him in shock, waiting for him to take it back. Because he always does. Not this time, he tells himself, hurrying forward to grab their mess of a food and shove it into the trash.]
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Isn't… poisoning your brothers not just breaking a rule, but a real-life law? Murderer! [ Another burp. Ugh, he's really got a bad case of gas now. ] Gonna… report you to the police — later.
[ Later, because Denji chooses that moment to fall on his side and hobble toward Pochita. He needs something warm to use as a heating pad to help settle the boiling acids in his stomach.
In the meanwhile, Power stares at his fleeing form, mouth hanging open as cold sweat openly pours down her face. She's researched this for recreational enrichment before: Murder is punishable by death in Japan if the case is severe enough. It's true that Denji is a skin-and-bones weakling who can't even lift five pounds for five minutes without getting tired, but…
Suddenly, an idea bursts to her mind.
"Hmph, another prime example of your ignorance, Dummy Denji. What would you do without the Great Detective Power to deduce who really killed you?" Power jabs a finger at Aki. "The one who feasted with such gluttony and then splattered his fill all over your ugly face — 'tis he who murdered you!" It's certainly not due to the fact that he's the only other person there. "If I have to stay back, so does this criminal!" ]
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[It's bad when they both get to the point of threatening the police on each other, but it's not often that Power claims Aki is the ultimate culprit. It's so uncommon because it never succeeds - especially not with the withering look he gives her, his eyes pinned on her as Power starts to instinctively shrink back to avoid a slap.]
You're the one who fed me this shit - And I bet it was you who came up with this! [Power immediately begins to insist that Denji put her up to this, but Aki knows that's not the case, because - ] Denji never wastes food! Look at this mess of a kitchen, you wasted a whole week's worth of groceries on this! [More sputtering about how she learned this recipe years ago and that they simply aren't trained enough to accept it.] You can't even make an omelet, let alone cook meat properly! Where did you even get this meat, I hadn't bought any ground beef recently at all...!
[After scoffing and telling him that she is occasionally offered sacrifices from the village and that this was one such offer, Aki goes from furious to confused to outright stumped. Someone from the building gave her spoiled meat? Did she take it from a trash can? Did Meowy or Pochita find it while outside? ...But he told them not to go outside today, and Denji was watching her, so surely she was inside. How the hell...]
[For now, he ignores her continued lecturing about the serfdom of the apartment complex they live in (she's the landlord apparently) and forces her into the kitchen to clean up or else she doesn't get any food at all. And when he unveils his purchases from the convenience store and Power realizes exactly what she might be missing out on... She deflates impressively, grumbling something under her breath about how his serf payments are being doubled this month. Aki ignores her and moves over to Denji, kneeling down next to him and setting a hand on his side.]
Where'd she get that meat from...? Did you guys go out today? [A bit of a warning tone in his voice as he asks that, even with the gentle hand on his side.]
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Not me. Or her, probably. [ He kept an eye on Power, of course, but he can't discount the possibility that she managed to creep outside his notice, what with all his excitement over the news today. It's unfortunate, but she can be quite the sneakster when she isn't loudly spinning her tales. ] She said — [ He winces at a cramp in his abdomen. ] Mnngh, somethin' about gettin' it from a lowly peddler and keeping it in her bag while we were out yesterday. So maybe she was tryin' to get revenge on us…? Ugh…
[ He's probably going to need to go to the bathroom eventually, but his stomach's still figuring out which bodily system it wants this strange invader to come out. But before that, there's something else pressing on him. ]
Didja really mean it? That Power won't be coming with us? She always goes where we go, y'know.
[ When it comes to big trips and transitions, that's always been the case. The three of them, together. Sure, he wants her arrested, but that doesn't mean he won't feel the teensiest bit bad if she gets left out of going to the beach. ]
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[Pochita starts nudging at Aki's hand and he very nearly swats the devil away, still uneasy around him. It would be one thing if he only acted like a dog, but the massive powertool sticking out of his head and the way he's seen it spin to life has him always a little unnerved by the thing. Especially when he's squeezing through Denji's arms.]
Revenge for... Ugh, she's such a brat... [He raises his eyes to glower at her across the room where she's dumping things into the trash while muttering curse spells under her breath. She better not get rid of any of their cookware...]
[But when Denji asks if he was serious, he looks down, brow pinching. Yes, he was, in the moment, but now he recognizes he was just angry. Which, obviously, but... Should he really make her stay home for their first non-grave visit trip in a year? He frowns and sits down on the floor, still mindlessly rubbing his hand over Denji's side.]
...I'll figure something out, but she still needs to be punished somehow. And you can't arrest your sibling for feeding you bad food. [So that idea is out. Keeping his voice low, he mutters,] Maybe I won't get her an ekiben. Or make her sleep in the hall tonight. It has to be something she'll remember.
[But when he says the bit about the hall, he looks up and around, realizing the windows and sliding door have been left open. No wonder it feels so cold in here. He frowns and adds, mostly to himself,] Guess I'll turn on the heater...
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[ The endless motion of Aki's hand actually does help to soothe his unsettled insides. His throat bobs as pockets of gas exit and pop in another series of burps, and that really feels nice as some of the discomfort in his stomach alleviates. ]
If we can't put her in real jail, what about fake jail? You know how psycho she is. It's gotta be by her made-up rules, or else she won't even see it as a punishment. So if Powy put a spell on our food, that makes her a witch. And what happens to bad witches?
[ He sneaks a look at Power, who appears to be tying the the opening of their trash into a knot, then pitches his voice down into a whisper. ]
They get burned at the stake!
[ Or at least that's what remembers happening in a western movie he watched once. ]
Basically, it's just playin' with her. But she'll treat it like it's the real deal, 'cause she's a weirdo.
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[Aki doesn't love playing along with her delusions, but unfortunately he knows Denji is right. If they don't play by her tune, she won't actually internalize anything he tries to teach her. And this is kind of a big deal. You can't feed people rotten meat.]
How do you suggest we burn her at the stake, then? [He's also keeping his voice low, leaning down to talk to him. Like this is some secret meeting.] Make her put her ankles up to the floor heater...? I don't want her to actually get burned. [She can't be arrested for feeding them bad food but Aki can probably be arrested for hurting her. Double standards.] Maybe we can hang her upside down for a few minutes.
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[ Denji's not one to get into character for the roles Power tends to arbitrarily assign him to. He's not an actor. Doesn't really know how to be anyone other than himself. But if it's to wreak justice on his mischievous little sister, then, sure, that's as worthy a cause as any. ]
I think if we tape a flashlight to Pochita and make him spin in a circle, that should look fire-like enough, right?
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[So they are burning her at the stake. This isn't really how he planned to spend his evening, but he also thought he'd be eating dinner right now.]
[Speaking of. Passing a look at Power (which she responds to with her own pout), Aki gets up to grab his bag and find the convenience store food he bought. He definitely doesn't trust her with that, and instead brings it back over to Denji, offering them out to let him pick what flavor of ramen he wants to eat.]
We can do it after she finishes cleaning up. I read something about how you're supposed to do something neutral after you punish someone, so she can eat dinner afterwards. [He read that in a book about problem children that he found maybe five years ago, but it probably works for Power.] I think if we tie up her ankles and I flip her over, you can grab the rope and pull it over the top of the door. [So long as Denji doesn't let go, this will work fine. No concussions.] ...And let's leave Pochita out of it, in case he does something weird.
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'kay.
[ The different flavors peel out of the bag as Denji sets each cup aside. Any of them would work usually, but he settles on one that has "original" printed on its packaging. Something boring that hopefully won't unsettle his stomach any further. ]
But I'll hafta find somethin' long and sturdy enough to wrap her up. You gotta keep her distracted until then. Remember: You gotta play her screwed up games to make it work. Didn'tcha act in a play that one time? Just pretend you're doin' that again.
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[Denji brings up Aki's time as an actor and the blood rushing to his face at the memory colors his cheeks bright red. He has half a mind to smack him for even bringing up that stupid class play. It had been a mortifying experience for him, up in front of so many people reciting lines as best as he could remember, speaking loudly enough so everyone could hear him, and when he went backstage the girl manning the curtains, unable to suppress her giggles and snorts, told him, "You seriously sound like you have no emotion out there!"]
[He had been so embarrassed as he did his next scene that he tripped over his lines and said butthole instead of burglary and the whole audience had chuckled lightly at the flub. Except for his classmate in the wings, smothering her face in the curtains to try and quiet her laughter.]
[Needless to say, he refused to act on stage again after that.]
...Just try and find some kind of rope in the storage bin. I'll bring out the trash with her.
[He gets up to do just that, approaching Power and offering to bring down the trash with her if she promises not to throw it at the bin this time. She hums over this and seems doubtful that not hurling the bag at the bin will actually succeed in dispersing her cursed spell, but Aki takes a note from Denji and tells him he's already done that. She actually accepts that (probably because she's afraid of getting yelled at again) and follows him outside with one of the trash bags in hand.]
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Hearing them leave, he hastily uncovers the storage bin from their closet. Some old yearbooks and photo albums from their time at the orphanage are what he immediately unearths, the books piling up to the side as he continues scavenging. No rope that he can find, however, there is leftover duct tape. He strips out a wide enough length of tape that he'll hopefully be able to quickly wind around Power's ankles… It should work the same way with the door, too, he thinks?
Shoving the bin back into the closet, Denji squeezes himself inside and sits there, heart thrumming. Waiting, waiting, until, finally, he catches the sound of their footsteps rattling up the stairs, the jiggle of the door as its pushed open. And that's when Denji pounces out, skidding on his knees to hug Power's legs closed as the tape weaves in and out between her ankles in an infinity loop. ]
Take that, you shitty witch! Light 'er up like a candle, Aki!
[ Power shrieks something about how the village head (Aki?) has betrayed her, and that this heresy will not be forgiven in their lifetime, before then launching into a gibberish spell incantation. Something about spiders laying eggs in their ears. Whatever, Denji mostly ignores her in favor of his own senseless spiel. ]
Bwahaha! Now, this is what I call revenge magic! It's way stronger than your food poisoning spells!
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[Duct tape isn't exactly what he was expecting when he came back, but it's passable - Aki nods as Power begins to flail, grabbing her around the center and locking her arms in place.]
Not this time - You're gonna repent for what you did.
[He tries to drag her toward the bedroom but with Denji right in front of them, Power ends up going down first and takes Aki with her. They both splatter to the floor with a heavy Oof! and Aki releases her, pushing himself up to make sure both of them are alright. But that gives her just enough wiggle room to try and run away, cursing them for thinking they could ever conquer her. Aki jumps forward and grabs her again and starts to tell her off more logistically, to watch her knees, but then he remembers Denji's words. Play along. It's the only way it's going to work.]
...We've got to hit her magical - uh, nerve endings. Denji! [And then he goes for her weak spots, tickling her stomach and sides as she shrieks and rolls, begging for mercy and trying to wriggle out of the way. The tape around her ankles makes that near impossible, at least, and even if this isn't a witch burning, hopefully it still works.]
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[ After the two had tumbled over like a house of cards, he'd shortly followed, attacking the soles of her feet. Power may writhe and twist in the thinning stitch of sun passing through their apartment, trying to cover her sides, but Denji knows what she can't hide. In-between her breathless wheezes about how underhanded their methods are, she can hardly stifle her laughter, good tears budding at her eyes. Even if this is technically punishment, she can't help but enjoy being at the center of everyone's attention. ]
Not baaad, witch, not bad at all. But you're as weak a baby kitty now — and if we can't burn ya, we're gonna string you up in front of the whole wide world!
[ …The whole wide world being Meowy, Pochita, and Power's stuffed animals.
Denji locks eyes with Aki, trying to signal that now's the time to carry their original plan through of putting her upside down from the door. Arms wrapped around her calves, he starts to lift Power up by her legs. She's heavy, and he can't really maintain his hold for long, but he's counting on Aki to help shoulder her weight. ]
Upsy-daisy!
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[The tickling seems to have worked in that she's only writhing to escape his fingers rather than Aki, wholly, so when Denji gives him the look, Aki nods in agreement. He grabs her under the legs and Aki goes for her torso, lifting her up off the ground as she yelps in surprise. He shoulders the majority of the weight as they make their way to the bedroom door and he calls out over her cries of indignation,] Toss it over! [and works to try and send her feet-up against the door. Hopefully the tape is strong enough to hold...? He's not really sure, so he ends up holding onto her sideways, clinging to her as her legs shake and she yowls.]
Now - You just gotta, uh - Repent.
[He's not good at thinking on the fly like this, especially when he's out of breath from carrying her. Even if she's smaller than him, she's still a wiggly teenager with bony, sharp limbs that fight him at every turn.]
...Apologize, and we'll consider - [Accepting it? No, stick with this weird magical medieval stuff. God, why does she insist on the medieval stuff?] - pardoning you. Of your crimes.
[Very convincing when he's out of breath, turning his head to see if Denji has secured the tape over the door.]
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You ready for this?!
[ What hold Denji has on Power drops completely as he swings himself behind the other side of the door, hops to drag the tape roll — which now looks quite starved from how much he's used on her — down with all his might.
"Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhuuuuhhh?!?" Power shouts in surprise and displeasure. Her back smashes and bobs up against the door as Denji grasps the tape, part of it entwined around his wrist to maintain some leverage. The tape isn't actually long enough anymore for him to cling to without slamming a foot into the door, his other digging as far back into the ground as he can. ]
Repent, repent, repeeeent! If you're sorry enough, we won't call the — [ Wait, were there cops back then? ] Uh, the executioner guys, you know the ones! They round up criminals like you and chop their pinky fingers off when they're bad, right, Aki?
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[Chop their pinkies off...?! Are they yakuza now? Aki kind of grimaces when Denji looks at him for back-up, too concerned about all the other things he's said in the past about yakuza to remember it existed before that, too.]
[But the threat seems to work, regardless, and Power is groaning and crying as she's hung upside down - though Aki is still holding her around the waist, making sure Denji isn't really at all responsible for her weight. Her hair is going wild below her as she shakes her head in misery, begging, "Let me goooo, let me gooooo! I won't double cross you ever again!" And this isn't quite a case of double crossing, but Aki shakes her just a little bit.]
You have to say you're sorry, and mean it this time. Apologize to both of us - and to the farmers whose food you wasted, too.
[It's a hard ask for her. Her face is scrunched up in agony at both the physical and social position she's being put in, but after another shake of her body from Aki she finally clenches her eyes shut and declares, "I apologize! I apologize! I'll let you win this time! I'm sorry for accidental attempted assassination...!"]
[Aki nods, then nods to Denji to drop the tape. Then, expecting he'll just do that, he lets go of Power, allowing her to drop onto her head and down to the floor. Or Denji to slam into the door if he wasn't holding strong enough. Whichever or both.]
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A few seconds afterward, his ass topples to the ground and he sits there, nursing his sore arm, red marks spiraling from his elbow to his wrist. That definitely took off a chunk of his arm hair. But Power probably has it worst. Peeking around the door, he spots her already worming her way past Aki to the kitchen to find something sharp to cut through her restraints — but she pauses when she spots Pochita, stopping to think for only a split second, then grabbing his body at both sides and working his blade against the thick tape at her ankles. Denji's too tired to stop her, so he lets his back lean into the door frame as he watches on. ]
G'job with all that repent stuff. [ No matter where Aki is at the moment, his hand finds his nearest body part and pats it. ] That reallllly sold the whole show. I don't even know what that word means, but whenever I copied you, she got even madder!
[ He snickers low, then makes a face as he starts rubbing at his again churning stomach. ]
Mmmguuh, hurts. Gotta rip a fart again.
[ When did he fart the first time… Actually, don't ask. ]
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[Power drops down and Denji slams forward and Aki looks between them in a brief flinch of worry before they both let out groans that tell him they're fine, just sore. He watches Power crawl away and use Pochita for chopping off the tape ("Don't do... Ugh..." He gives up on telling her to stop), squatting to the floor beside Denji and taking the pat to his shoulder as he lowers down to sit on his knees. He didn't expect it to work, but... Somehow, Denji really does understand her better than he does. Sometimes he really needs that.]
[But also.] You don't know what repent means...? [And then he's talking about farting and Aki pushes at his shoulder.] Go fart in the bathroom or I'll make you repent, too. [He'll let him think it's some extremely terrible fate for now.]
[But before he can leave, he speaks quietly while watching Power relay what horrible things were just done to her to an audience of a cat and devil.] Thanks, Denji. I can't handle her without you. [He squeezes his shoulder gently, glancing at him sidelong.]
It's okay that you ruined that bag.
[No, he didn't forget about that.]
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