windfall | what i desire most, what i fear most

[Ugh, again with the skull decorations. Aki thought she got her fill during Halloween but it only made things worse. He makes an annoyed face at her talk about drinking from Denji's as he pulls his hand away.]

No one's skull is getting nailed to any walls. I'll only be killing devils, not people, anyway.

[He reaches around Denji to grab another piece of chicken. He can tell he's still a little out of it, so hopefully by continuing to eat he'll keep Denji doing the same.]

It was pretty cleaned up over there. Just some police tape - so we should go the long way around to the grocery store this weekend, just in case. [The comment about whether he's going to become uptight like them, he mostly ignores, however. He doesn't think he will. He's only interested in that work for one reason, after all. If it doesn't concern his goal, then he doesn't care about the other part of the job. Keeping people safe or patrolling around to tell kids to stay inside... He has bigger fish to fry.]

[...Staying inside... Hmm. Aki pulls himself upright, crawling out of the makeshift fort and grabbing another piece of chicken as he heads into the kitchen area. The space is small enough that he's essentially still in the same room, so he can still talk to them.]

They might cancel classes tomorrow. Since someone died. [Setting the chicken on a cutting board, he squats down to open the rice cooker and takes out a large scoop to dump into a pot. Both of them should be able to recognize he's making porridge.] But you should stay home anyway - the school will know you got involved. [As well as Aki, but aside from a sore chest, he's fine. Power huffs, muttering something about how Denji is being babied, but Aki shuts her up quickly.] If you complain, we're not going to tell you about our plan. Right?

[And he passes a look at Denji expectantly. Power looks even more offended, that they made a plan without her input first of all and that they're refusing to tell her about it second.]

[ Aki's departure adds a little more focus to his expression, and he sticks his head out from under the table to watch him at work, adding things to the pot, filing down the piece of chicken into shredded strands, heating up the stove. Regular Aki stuff is what his puzzled eyes land on, but no hint at what he's trying to tease to Power. He furrows his brows. Plan, plan… He ums and uhs for a full second, his mind fizzling like a firecracker in water, and ultimately blanks. What plan is this guy talking about? ]

Yeeeeah. [ Gaze shifting one side to the next, he coughs: ] You're not gonna know the awesome plan. That both us totally made without you. So pipe down, pipsqueak.

[ He blindly agrees, reluctantly half-facing Power, as if looking at her dead on will give the gap in his knowledge, and therefore his bluff, away. It probably wouldn't, but seeing himself marked between the crosshairs of her weird contacts always makes his skin prickle. To her credit, Power's reaction isn't immediately murderous at being called a pipsqueak despite Denji only just recently hitting his growth spurt. At the thought of potentially being left out of a confidential (and awesome) itinerary for something or other, however, he notices that she's sweating profusely and clenching her jaw.

"F-Fine… But sleep with one eye open! The great Power will not forget this slight…" Her eyes narrow into catlike slits. "So what?! What is it?! Reward me!" ]

We… [ He considers calling to Aki for an assist — but wait, then it dawns on him thanks to Power. Reward! ] We're skipping class and hitting the beach because I did super well on my test! And I guess you get to come, too. Or that's what's supposed to happen…

[ Looking uncertainly at Aki, his lips push together. ]

But that guy really died…? The school's not gonna enforce some stupid extra rules or anything because of it, right?

[ It's kind of weird to think about. He should probably hate that someone his age has died, that he and his brother were this close to joining him, but mostly he just hates the potential for a curfew to be instated. ]

[Aki very, very clearly stares at Denji as he starts to struggle through remembering their plan. Because, wasn't this his plan? He was the one talking about getting buried in sand and stuff. When it finally seems to click he sighs quietly and resumes his cooking, shaking his head. Really, it was a true miracle that he managed that 77.]

[He looks up as he sets the lid on the pot, reaching to get three bowls.] They might have us walking home in groups again, like they did a few years back. [Some other student had been attacked, but not killed, back then.] I don't get why they won't let the school make a devil hunting club. Other districts have them. It's better if more people know how to defend themselves.

[He carries the bowls over to the little fort and offers them out - chicken porridge with finely chopped greens. Maybe that will restart Denji's brain.] Last time they put fliers up, so we'll have to keep a look out. [Power looks a little unhappy with the meal, but it does have meat in it so her complaints aren't as loud as they would be otherwise.] But you shouldn't walk that devil by yourself for a bit.

Should we carry somethin' for self-defense…? Nothing like an actual devil hunter, but whaddaya think about like a switchblade or one of those brass knuckles?

[ He's suggesting something that's definitely against school rules, but hey, if Aki's cool with skipping class and letting him keep Pochita around, maybe he can get a pass on something like this. It'd be pretty cool to have, like, a signature weapon.

The thick aroma of scallions and rice steam his face, swamping his senses as he gingerly takes the bowl with both hands. It's hot through the porcelain, and his hands drop a little, nearly spilling the porridge all over their feet, but he swiftly wobbles the bowl to stabilize its contents, only a few drops landing on the ground. He doesn't bother cleaning it up, bringing the bowl closer to his nose; an excited whine rises out of his throat, like it's taking all his willpower not to dive right in. It looks good, better than the chicken on its own. If Power doesn't want hers, he'll steal it for himself at the first sign of weakness. Well, pickiness.

Testing the temperature with a small sip from the bowl's edge, Denji looks at Aki. ]

Y'know, I'm surprised you haven't tried to start a devil hunter club — [ The broth burns his mouth, and he has to yank the bowl away from himself slightly, tongue sticking out as he speaks in an effort to cool it. ] You're all bushy-bushy with the shtudent counshil and your teashers. Figure they'd to lishen to ya.

[Aki, having sat down in front of them both with his own bowl, just barely misses grabbing Denji's bowl, but he saves it in the end, to his relif. Spills a bit, but it's nothing that won't clean up quickly.]

...Someone like you who forgets to even tie his shoes shouldn't be carrying around a switchblade.

[It's not a specific reference to this afternoon. Aki used to have a piece of paper taped to the front door reminding Denji to look at his laces before leaving - until he stopped noticing it or until Power put too many stickers on it and made it illegible, he's not sure which came first. But he still runs around with loose laces all the time.]

And I did. When I was a freshman I brought it up, when I was just a class rep. They told me it was a nonstarter. [It's not the full reason he stopped trying to do much with student council - that was mostly because his voice dropped enough and his height hit the point where he could fake being a high school graduate more reliably. That meant way more job opportunities, on top of his increased work out regiment. But losing out on any chance for putting a devil hunter club on his resume definitely dampened his interest.] They said there aren't enough devil hunters out here, that it's different in the boonies... I guess they're more common in the city.

[He pauses, staring down at his bowl for a moment in thought.]

You two definitely shouldn't try to get in one, though. When we move.

[Then blows on the top of the porridge before scooping it down. Hypocrite or not, he doesn't care. That's his rule.]

[ It's true that only puny devils show their faces around these parts. In history class, they told him that, based on the finalized ballistics report when the Gun Devil made its appearance off the coastline, it was actually several hundred kilometers away. It never touched land, never saw the high-casualty areas; it didn't really need to. Does an executioner have to see the faces of all his condemned? Does a firing squad ask their prisoners to turn around?

Who knows, Denji was fast asleep by then, so he's not sure if those questions were something the teacher actually asked or some movie quote his dream was repeating. He wouldn't have been interested in the answer, regardless.

Power complains about having the opportunity to slay devils and prove her prowess in combat taken away, but Denji shrugs. The air has cooled his mouth enough that he's able to eat a helping of rice without it stinging. And also, he isn't speaking with a stupid lisp anymore. ]

Not that I care, since it sounds like a pain in the ass, anyway… [ It's easier to pretend not to have an interest in the cool extracurriculars, like devil hunting and sports, than let himself feel rejected over being unable to participate. Or worse yet, for them to find a less strenuous activity to allows him to sit on the sidelines, to avoid feeling excluded. ] But why can't we? You just said that it's better if more people learned how to defend themselves.

[ Fine, so he won't be getting a cool weapon to carry around without getting into trouble, but at least he has Pochita. The devil in question laps from his bowl, and he lets him, Denji tilts his bowl lightly to make sure he doesn't have to stretch his (non-existent??) neck too much. Aki's approval be damned, maybe he really will just take him to school these next few days. His backpack should be big enough to fit him. ]

[Aki glances down, watching the way Denji tilts his head to feed Pochita, and before he can take more than a couple licks he reaches out and raises his bowl up. Gives him a flat look. Because he's the last person he wants to be skimping on meals.]

You shouldn't worry about any of that stuff. Not until you're older. [Whatever "older" means, he doesn't expand on. Yes, it's a selfish thing to want to keep both Denji and Power out of any danger, out of any sign of trouble or in the path of destruction. Today was a misstep. If he had just stayed home when he got there, it would have been fine. Instead he came running after Aki after he was already safe.]

You two need to focus just on yourselves. You know I'm going to be fine - I'm not going to get hurt by a devil. And even if I was, that means both of you would be next in a heartbeat.

[Briefly, his eyes flit to the devil on the floor between them, snuggled up against Denji. Was that why he came back...? Did he think he had an upper hand with Pochita's saw?]

Until you graduate, keep your heads down and run home if there's trouble. Got it?

[He's said this same thing enough times, but never so bluntly. But they've never been in this close of a call before. Now, he needs to spell it out as clearly as he can.]

[ For all that Aki stresses and worries, Denji's surprised he hasn't sprouted a single gray hair yet. He understands that his brother means business, that he's serious about prioritizing their safety during all this, but being at the other end of his lecturing has his fatigue blooming into annoyance. Mainly to avoid saying something snippy back, he forces down the last of his bowl. Tell them to be careful, fine. But does he have to go so far as to treat them like liabilities?

It's not like he can confide in Power about his complaints, either, because she would probably say that's just how he is: high-strung and overprotective. In a lot of ways, it manifests in him being more generous than the taciturn face lets on to, in being considerate and someone he can count on to help him study for his exams or drag him back up to his feet when he trips. But in other ways…

It's hard to hear stuff like Aki's free to step on the gas all the way down the fast lane toward certain danger while they just watch. It's hard, but it's always been like that, and it's why his agreement to the terms spread before him isn't fully committed, yet not outright dissident. ]

'kay. Sure… [ Food bowl empty now, Denji… nudges the side of it into Pochita's face. All that's left is bitty rice grains and some a fine layer of broth. Aki can't complain about that. ] Until we graduate. But if a devil does hurt you, then that means the deal's off.

[Those are two stipulations Aki wasn't exactly prepared to hear. Visibly he hesitates, looking between both Denji and Power, but... What can he say? He wants to make sure they graduate and he doesn't think they'll ever be in a position to be near him if a devil ever did somehow hurt him. So fine. He nods his head, accepting both.]

Yeah.

[It's an easier night, thankfully. No devils, no sirens, no knocks on the door. Once their porridge is all scooped out and finished, Aki convinces the two of them to dismantle their fort so he can actually use the table and get some work done. The apartment is chilly and quiet since it's not quite time yet to turn on the heater (and Aki is still toughened enough by his Hokkaido winters to think it's that bad) so once he's finished for the night and ready to turn in, the idea of getting into bed and becoming warm and cozy is the perfect remedy for how the day turned out. Which is partially just what he planned.]

Denji...

[Calling out for him, once the beds are laid out and comforters spread over them, Aki says his name like he's coaxing a dog over with a treat. Whether he's in the bedroom already or hasn't come in yet, he sets his hand on top of his mattress, patting it to motion him over once he can see him.]

You want to share, tonight?

[It's not an offer he makes much, if at all, anymore. He used to when they were younger, both Power and Denji wrapped around his arms and nearly on top of him in his bed to the point it felt like he was being smothered. At some point Power declared she didn't like it anymore (though Aki thinks this is because she prefers cuddling with Meowy instead, since the timeline adds up with when she found the cat and suddenly decided she didn't need to crowd in on Aki's side anymore) but Aki is pretty sure Denji still likes it, still relishes the proximity and warmth of being close like that. After today and the mess that it was, his reasoning is twofold: he wants to give Denji something nice to end the day, and he wants to be able to feel immediately in case he ends up coughing in the middle of the night.]

[Power scoffs at his coaxing, Meowy curling around her legs in anticipation of sharing body warmth. But Aki ignores her and looks expectantly at Denji. After how much he scolded him and yelled at him today, this is the right way to finish the day, he thinks.]

[ Eyes wide with surprise, his head perks up, then tilts exactly 90 degrees with such pinpoint accuracy, one could almost see the pointed dog ears flopping over the side of his face. After a moment, he nods slowly, but doesn't stop, the speed with which his chin bobs up and down hastening in merely a handful of seconds.

It hasn't happened since Pochita joined the household, but usually he's the one worming through the covers, pulling and nudging Aki's limbs out of the way to carve out room for him to cozy up at his side, clinging to him like a leech who won't let go until he's had his fill of his body heat. When was the last time Aki freely presented the option to him? ]

Heck yeah, I wanna!

[ There's a first aid kit opened in front of him that he begins to hastily shove stuff back into. He's just about finished touching himself up, anyway — replacing most of the bandages for his scratches, applying pain relieving ointment for his bruises. It would have taken him less time if he hadn't been forced to stop in infrequent intervals just to heed off Pochita's curiosity every time he began poking his nose too deeply into the box.

Clambering out of the room to return the kit to its place, he ricochets back inside, sliding into the opening still waiting for him, arms fully spread out. Pochita leaping in after him in quick succession. Probably nearly hitting Aki in the process, and if he actually does, Denji certainly doesn't pay it any mind, turning onto his side to grope his hands around his brother's sides. Palms rubbing at his hips to generate some more heat; he really doesn't get why they have to wait so long to turn on the heater. The blankets never feel more enough this time of year.

Not pausing, he nuzzles his face into his chest and says through Aki's shirt, voice muffled: ] …Why're you being so nice?

[Aki has just a minute or so to prepare himself to be tackled so he's thankfully more prepared than usual when Denji comes crashing in, but Pochita's leap into him isn't as expected. He startles, flat on his back as Denji rubs into him and watches as Pochita moves around looking for a spot to lay down. Immediately Aki jerks his head at him - right now, he doesn't want anything to get between him and Denji. If he stops breathing in the middle of the night or starts coughing or chokes or - anything, he wants to feel it the moment it happens.]

Nice...? [He watches as Pochita moves on the other side of Denji, a little huff coming from his nose as he adjusts himself over there. Aki rolls onto his side and pulls the blankets and covers over them both.] You went through a lot today.

[You know, almost passing out, the devil hunters who came here, and... the devil itself. And the dead student. Enough that he started talking like Aki was going to get hurt or die. He sighs, brushing his hand through Denji's hair and trying to tame the parts that keep sticking up.]

...Or are you trying to say I'm not always nice, or something. [He sounds deadpan as he says it, but it's mostly a joke; Aki knows the truth. He's not exactly the nicest person in the world. Just because he knows how to use keigo and bows with his hands properly at his side doesn't mean he doesn't have a rougher edge to him. He just shoved a dog away, after all.]

[ Was it a lot? Well, if it's the reason why Aki's letting him curl up next to him like a dog warming itself by a furnace, he's not out to argue against the assertion. But after a fairly thorough bath, gobbling up some tasty food, and a little fort-making R&R, Denji is far from the half-dazed skeleton he was earlier. ]

I mean, you're nice-ish sometimes. That's why girls like you. But, like, some other times you say not so nice stuff. Like how you told me to go back, that was kinda harsh. It's not like I — mmmm. [ The combing riles up a pleased sound that's both sigh and hum, his eyes closing, briefly, as he savors the sensation. Aki isn't playing with his hair, but that's what it feels like, and so what choice does he have but to nudge his head into his fingertips, trying to spur him to continue. ] …I don't really wanna get babied by you.

[ The irony of saying that while every one his movements and gestures right now is begging Aki to spoil him isn't lost on Denji. And yet he makes zero attempt to extricate himself from his position. His hands relocate to behind Aki's back, fastening in a more proper hug. ]

But I get it. I know that I wouldn't be able to do a lot of things without you… I know that. I just wish things were different, that I could get better and stronger and do more stuff for you, too… So, um, yeah. I'll try to apply for that one job you mentioned before. Maybe it'll help me build muscle.

[He doesn't want to be babied by him but he's rubbing into his hand like a puppy encouraging him to pet him in just the right way. For once, however, Aki doesn't call him on this, just continues stroking his hair, given up on trying to get it to stay flat and just repeating the gesture over the same spot where he seems to like it the most.]

I'll be there with you. [The logging job, he means. He wouldn't really trust him to do that kind of work by himself.] Not everyone has to be strong. There are things you can do that I can't.

[Silly things, but important things. Like understand what Power is asking for when she gets too lost in her words. Or moments of problem solving that Aki would have brute forced his way through but Denji was able to find a way around that made everyone happy in the end. Or making a contract with a devil in the middle of the night.]

[...Man, he still wishes he hadn't. Aki wraps his arm around him and squeezes him in close briefly, like he can somehow suck all the badness out of him. All the stupid decisions he's made, the problemsolving that led him to wave a match over oil vapors. The weakness. The sickness. If he could pull all those bits out of him, he would. But it's never been that easy and never will be.]

If you get mad at me... [For a moment he trails off and doesn't continue. Because he doesn't actually want to offer this. He doesn't want to give Denji some kind of get-out-of-jail-free card. Something he can slap in Aki's face when he's being stubborn about something. At last, he sighs.] If you get mad at me, at least tell me to my face. Don't run away anymore. I hate having to chase you.

[ The closeness and Aki's well-meaning intentions work in conjunction to help downplay the sting that comes from being told, not that he can be strong one day, but that he doesn't have to be. It doesn't even show on his face; Denji wears an expression as clear and guileless as porcelain, a steady push of air flowing through his nose, dispersing against his brother's neck. He may not be able to think of what exactly he's able to do that Aki can't do better, but…

Come to think of it. If he were strong, he wouldn't be able to get away with being comforted like this, right? Pretending that he dislikes lying flush and toasty beside Aki, watching his lashes fan against his upper cheeks each time he blinks. ]

…I know. [ His hand runs up along Aki's wrist where he's grabbing him, feeling for his pulse. It's so much louder and steadier than his. ] I hate running from you.

[ He never makes it far enough, anyway. The exertion as punishing for him as it is for his brother. ]

You're the last person I wanna…

[ The words defuse soundlessly, something he hopes Aki takes as him being too tired to keep his train of thought. It's half-true, at least. His eyes close, for a moment. Then: ] Whaddaya think next year will be like?

[He hates it yet he does it too often. It's so frustrating. Denji's never been good at understanding cause and effect, always doing things without thinking of how they turn out, but when he throws a tantrum and runs off somewhere, doesn't he know he's not the only one who suffers?]

[...But Aki settles without saying anything like that. He lets his hand rest while Denji holds his wrist, thumb pressed into the veins below his palm. Next year...]

It'll be a lot better. [He closes his eyes, slipping his hand down and through Denji's fingers to grasp them together instead.] Things are better in the city. In Tokyo. I'll be an adult, so there won't be any problem with us getting split up, or needing to rely on the government for housing... I'll be able to deal with it all, myself. [Working for Public Safety is as assured as graduation, in his eyes.] I bet you and Power will have your own rooms... And go to restaurants more, too... [He trails off, his mind going back to that devil. How strong it had been, to lift a boy nearly his size and hurl him into Aki. How that boy could have been him. How he could have walked back to the house with Taiyou.]

I think... that you'll have to study harder. [He sighs into his hair, pressing his nose into the top of his head.] And I won't be around as much to help you with that. [Again he goes silent for a moment.] But eveything else will be ten times better than things are now. So it'll fall into place.

[ Yes, he does it too often. Even now, he's running away, with his face fiercely tucked inside Aki's neck, feeling the words move through his throat before they even make it to his ears. Almost like he's cowering from their existence, the future only Aki can see taking shape. It's not a bad one, he likes restaurants, he likes the idea of having his own space to kick his feet back and invite girls over.

All the same, he just can't fully wrap his head around it. Aki says it's a life where no one will be actively trying to split them up, so why does it feel like that's what's happening, anyway? ]

…But it's not always gonna be like that, right? When you're an adult. You not being around as much. It'll just be until… [ Until what. Until Aki hunts down the Gun Devil and takes it out? Until they graduate? Or, hey, maybe until he dies somewhere in some hospital ward? ]

I dunno. I guess, I mean, if I make it. Like, if I become an adult, too… Will things go back to how they were?

[ It's such a naive question. So stupid. He knows what Aki's going to say, but can't stop the fingers interlaced with his from curling, prickling into his knuckles, trying to force inertia into a person who always looks as though he's trapped in rapid motion. Headed somewhere far away. ]

[Even right now, when he's trying to be at his most positive, his most hopeful... He almost wants to shake Denji. Why is it, right when he's trying to do something for him, he turns it on its head? He suggested they visit his family's graves - he ran away from home and contracted with a devil. He urged him to go back to the apartment, stay safe, stay inside - he ran out and attacked the devil head-on right in front of him. Now this. Bringing up his own death. Aki grits his teeth tight.]

If you become an adult...?

[Tactless. He's heard it himself, from various doctors. Incurable. Genetic disposition. Proper diet. Frequent check-ups. Likelihood of reaching adulthood. He's heard it all. Learned those words like kids who watch medical dramas from the doorway of the living room when they should be in bed. But he's always been adamant about this. They're doing all the right things - keeping Denji on a good diet, keeping him from stressing himself too much, doing those breathing exercises. And he's doing the right things, too. In six months, he'll be working for public safety. He'll take him to a really good doctor in Tokyo. He'll get him on some kind of medication. It'll be fine after that.]

[He's squeezing his hand hard, tenfold as tight as Denji's fingers in his knuckles. Aki realizes it and loosens his grasp but doesn't let go, sitting up instead so he can look down at him. He's not letting Denji hide while he says this.]

Nothing's going to happen to you. [Fiercely, angrily. Believably, to his own ears.] You're gonna study a lot and graduate and then get a stupid job doing really boring stuff, and you and me and Power will come home from work every day tired and eat dinner together and watch TV. And it'll be just like this.

[ Denji can't look away. How can he when Aki is so possessed with conviction. With denial. To a certain extent, it scares him, seeing his eyes this bright and flaming like this — that's what his racing pulse means, probably. The heat crawling up his neck. That Denji's afraid of what might happen to the light in Aki's eyes if the throbbing in his wrist were to slow, drop, go eerily silent.

…What's scarier is that he thinks it might make him kind of happy to know it'd break Aki. Just a little. ]

Just like this.

[ He echoes, tonelessly. A concession. A dog thrown on its back, pinned — up until he forces himself up, pushing back weakly at Aki, like he'd been waiting for Aki's grip to slacken, so that he could take him by surprise. A drop of delusion glints in his gaze, his own selfish insistence. ]

Just us. [ If Aki's going to make impossible demands, project his own version of life on him, then Denji can, too. ] No one else. I don't care if you find other friends, or start dating, or have a dumb devil you wanna catch. At the end of the day, you have to come back home and choose us.

[ That's the only reason, the only way he can agree to try living past his expiration date. ]

[Denji is suddenly close, sitting up right in front of him, that sort of look in his eyes that Aki... he's never really liked. It's like he goes into his shell a little, gets defensive about everything. Says what his id is thinking with no room for any other voices. If he wasn't such a pitiful looking person, he could be persuasive. But Aki's even more duped thanks to that pitiful-looking exterior. It would be like denying food to a begging dog with its ribs showing. Of course he'd give up his whole dinner to someone like that.]

Yeah.

[He nods, almost delayed in his answer. Not from hesitation, though. It's an easy answer to give. He honestly believes it.]

I'm always going to come home.

[His lips press together, pulling tight for a moment.]

Even if I'm going to get laid.

[ Initially, there's nothing. Denji holding Aki's gaze as tightly as he plans to hold him to his word. From the beginning, there's always been three. Three pairs of shoes in disarray out in the entryway. Three seat cushions at the table. Three toothbrushes leaning in the cup. They have pets and he likes the idea of dating, but that's not the same as watching someone take up more residence in the priorities of the people he holds dear to him.

Denji only has so much time. Why should he share? ]

[ But then, like the first drop of rain hitting someone's face, that thing Aki says at the end fractures his focus. Denji blinks at him. ]

…Uh, what? You're not getting laid. [ He looks at him weirdly. ] Not before I do.

[ As if that's the most obvious thing. Why would Aki even mention that? He always thought… he never cared about that sort of thing, seeing how often he dodges the topic of girls with him all the time. ]

[...Wait, what?]

You think I'm never going to get laid?

[What the hell. He'd said it to try and lighten the mood, but leave it to Denji to look at him like he's insane for merely bringing up the idea that he might, someday, actually have sex. Is it that unusual an idea to him? Just because he has better things to do now than date someone who he won't see again in six months doesn't mean after those six months are up he has to remain celibate. Hell, how does Denji even know he hasn't had sex yet?]

[...Probably because he would have told him. Not on purpose, or anything. But it would have come out by now.]

Once we're in Tokyo, it's not like I'm going to be doing homework and training all day and night anymore. I figured you'd prefer that...

Not — never! [ A flux of emotions warp in and out of the twist in his brow, the draw of his mouth. ] I mean! I don't care! I don't wanna think about you goin' to town on anyone.

[ God, he doesn't even know why he's so scandalized about it. Didn't he suggest to him, like, a week or so ago that he should get a girlfriend? Do something normal teenagers do. Sex, being one of them… But that hadn't occurred to him back then, for some reason. ]

I guess it's weird.

[ Weird, like how suddenly holding Aki's hand feels to him now. Being close. He'd probably have stop sleeping in his bed when they move to Tokyo… ]

'cause, like, I didn't even know you wanted to get laid. I've never heard you jack off, ever.

[For a second, Aki looks completely taken aback.]

[Denji... The kid who hides porn under the bathroom sink, who he has walked in on jacking off more times than he can count, who constantly fantasizes openly about the best breast size to shove your face in... He's never considered that Aki is a warm-blooded male who might do those things as well??]

...That's good.

[At first that's all he can say. That at least Denji has never heard him masturbating.]

...Do you think I like hearing you talk about "going to town" on girls? That's almost fifty percent of what you talk about.

[He looks almost aghast at this. Does he think that was all one-sided? That he's the only one who ever thinks about it...? Sure, Aki tells him to shut up and groans when he brings it up too often, but...]

Nuh-uh, it's more like almost sixty percent.

[ Denji did well on his math midterm (retake). He knows these things now. ]

And isn't that stuff just — you know, like when people talk about their favorite songs or the new multiplayer game that's out? It's normal.

[ His frame of reference really can't be trust for this. When Denji isn't fooling around with Power, it's pretty noticeable that he hasn't connected long-term with his classmates, especially since he'll be moving next year, anyway. And the ones he does somewhat get along with are a bumbling slacker sort who similarly enjoy comparing notes on who the prettiest girls in their year are, who wears the shortest skirts, and so on. ]

…Besides I haven't actually done any "going to town" on a girl yet. [ That's the main difference here. When he talks about all that, it's like — fantasy. Something out of his reach, being who he is. His arms cross. ] Seriously, you haven't? Like, no kissing or anything? You better not hide that sorta thing from me.

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