windfall | what i desire most, what i fear most

[ In a spike of movement, his footing alters, swinging Denji in the opposite direction away from Aki's reach, but it's not quick enough to prevent the tips of his fingers from glancing off the aluminum. Knocking the can from his grip, the cylinder clatters to the floorboards, carbonation hissing as it soaks into ground. Denji can only stand there, face red. His mouth suctions together, thinning with a barely suppressed growl. This is so fucking stupid. Aki makes him feel so fucking stupid. ]

Shut up.

[ The edges of his voice are tight and weary. Hurt, despite knowing that Aki threatening to leave him alone is simply tit for tat. He whips around to stomp toward the kitchen again to fetch a rag and wet it in the sink. ]

Get your head outta your ass. It's not just any grave, [ Denji says when he's back, standing the can back up. The joints of his knees crackle as he crouches. ] You don't know. [ He scrubs and scrubs, white-knuckled, using more strength in the motion than he has to. More so to erase how shaken he feels than to actually clean anything up. ] You don't know what door you're trying to open.

[He wants to snap at him for making a mess, call him a child again because he knows it's getting to him, but Aki stops when he hears that gravel in his voice. He stares down at him as he scrubs at the soda, the carbonation fizzled out and just a puddle of brown now. He doesn't know, he's right. But what does it matter? His point still stands.]

What do you mean, door? [He doesn't move to approach, standing his ground where he is in the hallway.] I want you to start thinking about these things. You're too old to brush them under the rug. It's time to start thinking about your future. [He takes in a brief breath of annoyance, something else coming to mind.] I heard what junk you put on your career planning form. Do you really think life is so easy that you can lay back and just dream about girls all day and night instead of anything that matters? [Maybe he should let off, but he's already speeding and if he's going to get pulled over, what's an extra few miles over the limit?] I need you to care about this stuff. For people like us - All we have is one another, and I can't take care of you forever.

[ Aki keeps needling, needling, needling, a thread poking in and out, like trying to hem a patch into the skin of an old doll to fix it. But all he's doing is making it obvious how broken and old and dirty it is. Denji is. Telling him that even the small, inexpensive things he wants don't have any value. He wants to stay home? That's wrong. He wants a girlfriend? Wrong again. He wants a soda before bed? Basically a criminal offense.

Denji isn't even cleaning anymore, just blinking hard at his hands, cold and pruning from digging into the wet rag. ]

Then it's a good thing you won't have to forever, right? You must — [ The words close up in his throat, too hoarse and dry from the intensity of his breathing that he has to cough to clear away the feeling of having something lodged in it. ] Must be happy as shit to get to start over somewhere new. You won't have to come home as often once you're a big adult, no need to see us, yeah? 'cause you'd rather stare at your stupid fucking future —

[ Denji's eyes squeeze as he soars to his feet, hurtling the rag at Aki. Rushes for the entryway, twisting the lock and wrenching the door open hard enough for it the bang against the wall. Doesn't even look back as he takes off running, pitching himself through the dark of night. ]

Just go! Go on your trip, go to Tokyo — I hope you never come back and visit my grave!

[It's a stronger response than one he's gotten from Denji in... years, Aki thinks. The rag snaps him in the face and he moves out of the way in shock, wiping it away just in time to see him rush out the door. He starts to call after him, his voice pitching with anger and frustration, but he stops. Stares after him for a moment, forcing himself to stay in place.]

[Fine, he thinks. Let him run. Let him run off and go cry behind a dumpster. See if he cares. If he's going to act childish then Aki will be an adult about this. He takes the rag into the sink and wrings it out, dropping it over the edge of it and staring down into the basin. He shouldn't care. He never said anything wrong. He wants Denji to do the things he was grateful he had done earlier. The moment he was able to return home to do a grave visit, he did. It didn't matter that he had to save up for two extra tickers, it was worth it. And it would be worth it for Denji, too. So what if he didn't have a close relationship with his family, if that's the case? They're still family. He should respect them. If Denji died - ]

[Aki grips the basin tightly. His teeth clenched together behind lips pulled thin. He squeezes his eyes shut, willing the thought to leave his head, but it's always there. It's never not there. If Denji died, if Power died. He's always scared of that. He thinks about how the last thing he said to his parents was an annoyed snap. How he called his brother stupid rather than his name when he came running after him. If this was the last time he saw Denji, how could he go on if the last words he heard him say were that he hoped he wouldn't visit his grave?]

[He bangs on the bedroom door until Power unlocks it so he can tell her to stay inside and not to let anyone in, but to keep the door unlocked. She offers to come with but Aki tells her to stay - if Denji comes back, somoene should be here. She starts to argue but he's already pulling his shoes on and hurrying outside, repeating for her to stay put even as she insists she can smell him from a mile away and wouldn't he like to use her ultra-sensitive wonderful nose? Aki doesn't respond and just rushes outside, pushing the door shut behind himself. If he's not immediately visible, he starts to hurry through the streets, calling his name loudly into the night.]

[Devils aren't nocturnal things. They could be out no matter what time it is. But it doesn't matter. The pounding fear that Denji will run right into the maws of one keeps him yelling his name until his throat aches.]

[ He used to be able to run for longer than this. Longer and faster. So fast his mom would yell at him over the sounds of cicadas blaring their call, slow down, what’s the rush, hardly able to keep up, as his dad followed from the very back, reminding them both to be careful going uphill. Watch your step. I don’t want you to hurt yourself, Denji, that's what he said, yeah. Yeah, he’s pretty sure that's the phrasing he used, pretty sure that’s how the memory went, and then when they reached the top of the view, they would lay a checkered blanket down on the ground, help each other arrange the food from the basket…

Right? Was this a memory or was it just some dream he adopted as one? If not, was his dad already dead by then? Was his mom? He thinks she died young, but how young, he can't really parse out, not unless he finely picks his memory clean from beginning to end, crust to core, page to page.

And he can't do that while his feet hurt so bad, dirt and pebbles stabbing into the bottom of his feet like shrapnel. About three minutes into his run, Denji's velocity drops into a walk, his chest heavy, his lung twined with what feels like a pack of rocks. After he manages to catch his breath, he picks his pace back up again. Keeps on like that for a while, slowing and racing down the street, ignoring the blisters starting to bubble in his skin. Dumb of him not to wear shoes, he knows. But he was mad. People do things when they're mad. Like throw stuff: words, rags, beer bottles. You don't mean to hurt anyone or see anyone get hurt, it just happens.

Eventually, he arrives at a playground. It's an older one; the three of them used to wile their time on the swings here back as junior high students. He and Power would always insist on standing on the seats, competing for who could arc to the highest height, and yelling bribes down at Aki to push one or the both of them, or even to join in the competition. Now, though, Denji walks past the swing set, crawling inside a dome shaped like a lady bug, its holes entrances for young children to hide inside during games. He's not sure what compels him to. Maybe he just wants to feel enclosed, wrapped inside something, the way you might with a hug. In there, collapsed on his back, he's finally able to breathe, let the weak, yet still pumping, artery in his chest rest.

His eyes close — it's late, he should be more conscious of his surroundings, sure, but who the hell cares if there's something hiding in the shadow? He might even have more in common with whatever's there than who's waiting for him back at home.

So when Denji hears a dark snarl, all teeth, he doesn't even flinch when he turns his head to look. ]

[He doesn't know why he comes to the playground, just that it seems like somewhere a kid would go when running away. He's seen it in movies and anime, children hiding in the slide tunnel or under the cover of the raised paths. He remembers going here with Denji and Power some years ago, thinking this felt normal, felt good. It wasn't long after he had gotten approved for school housing with them so it felt especially grown up to be able to take them to somewhere in their new neighborhood. Somewhere nice and safe and friendly. Then, he was passing by the ladybug patterned dome and spotted a child crouched there, dirty and skinny and dead in the eyes. Not the first nor the last kid he had seen like that, but in that moment it struck him. He took the two of them home and insisted on making something big for how much energy they let out. Secretly, selfishly, telling himself they'd never turn out like that kid.]

[So maybe that's why he goes to the playground, and maybe that's why he passes the swings and goes toward the ladybug. Power liked that spot more, liked the red color and the spots, but when he gets close and hears a snapping sound Aki freezes up, immediately thaws as he backs away. He knows where all the police call boxes are in the area (because of course he does) but the nearest one is at the entry to the playground. Too far to get to if something is chasing him. He starts to creep towards the call box in the hopes whatever it is won't hear him but when he moves toward the swings he sees a flash of what looks like blond. When he does a double take, he's sure that's exactly what it is.]

[There's no time to second guess that and there's no time to wait for a devil hunter. Aki has been preparing for this his entire life, he tells himself as fear ripples through him. This is what he's going to do. Save people. Protect the family he does have. Pulling up to his full height, he marches forward with nothing but his body to defend himself and yells out with equal parts rage and fear in his voice.] Hey! Devil!

[ This is what Aki will see, peering into the husk of the ladybug: Denji quietly stroking the head of a rotund, and noticeably injured, creature, blood glossing his tawny fur. Calming the poor thing as his fangs jab into his arm, not hungrily, not ravenously, not even deeply — frankly, he's so weak his teeth barely manages to sink through his skin and draw out enough to drink. Almost careful to avoid running his chainsaw into him. The pain is more of a prick, a paper cut. The twitch that flutters through his expression offers a momentary glimpse of pain but nothing past that.

And judging by Denji's the widening of his eyes as he very slightly jerks to regard Aki, his bellow is more startling to him than the devil teething his forearm. ]

What, he found me already…? [ The devil groans weakly in reaction to the new presence, threatened by him for obvious reasons, prompting Denji to refocus. Trying to soothe him, to hush his whimpering, he murmurs, ] Oh, don't worry about him, boy, Aki doesn't bite.

[ …Actually, maybe he shouldn't promise that. There's a reason why Aki is so dead set on passing the Public Safety hiring exam, after all; he can't discount the possibility that Aki may hate devils enough to bite one, even one that's injured and unable to protect itself. So he follows up his statement with a correction. ]

I won't let him bite you.

[ If he knows Aki, he'll probably be stomping up soon to bully him some more. Drag him back home. It'll be more painful for both the devil and Denji if he's wrenched away in the midst of him gulping down his blood, so he gently pries his jaw open to release his arm. In a louder voice, he goes: ] This devil's a good boy, so don't hurt him, Aki. I'm being serious. I'll bite you.

[This is, like, literally the worst thing he could come across. Denji petting a devil with a chainsaw sticking out of its head as it sinks its teeth into his arm. It doesn't matter if the bite is gentle and more like a chew than a snap - it's still drinking his blood, which makes them stronger, as does fear, which Aki is giving it. He stands in the entry to the ladybug as if he's ready to kick the bean-shaped dog out the other side when Denji stops him. Even pries the mouth of the thing off of him without getting snapped at or rammed through.]

Wh- What?!

[A good boy?? What the hell does that mean?! It's a devil! He even knows it's a devil, he called it a devil! At once he reaches inside to try and grab Denji by the collar, aiming to yank him out of the ladybug.] Are you insane?! You can't - That's a devil, you idiot! Do you want to die?! And you - You gave it your blood, that's how they heal!

Jerk, you're pulling too hard —

[ Though his wounds are closing, further establishing his identity as a devil, the dog is skittish, lowering his weight and scrabbling backwards on his stomach at Aki's approach. However, he stays within watching distance, eyes keen on Denji. Not with the same greed that might fill any other devil watching their meal, the tiny traces of blood slipping free from his arm, stolen from them. Rather, he seems to be taking in the way his feet slide across the ground, struggling to land solidly as he doesn't fight back against Aki hauling him away. ]

He wasn't gonna kill me! And I… I didn't heal it for free or anything.

[ An ominous insinuation. ]

I'm not as stupid and useless as you think I am.

You just gave a devil your blood!

[Denji is not beating the stupid and useless allegations tonight. Aki keeps dragging him backwards, his eyes locked on the devil, waiting for it to lunge at them but it's just... staring. It looks like a dog in a submissive stance, its body low. He holds onto Denji, one arm around his waist to keep him grasped against him.]

What the hell were you doing? Why did you... What were you thinking?! [Devils can't pay money or trade goods and services for blood, so what does he mean, he didn't heal it for free? He finally reaches down to his arm to grasp at it, examine the damage for a fleeting second while he looks away from the devil.] You... You're so stupid, so - ...

[Fingers tight around his wrist, he can feel his face getting warm with stress and relief that he's alright. Even if they're not out of the woods, the adrenaline that Denji is alright is enough for the moment as he keeps his grasp on him.]

You scared the crap out of me... What were you thinking...?

[ The second Aki's hijacking his space, detaining him, so that he's no more a flight risk than a mutt who's leash is staked in cement, Denji surrenders to the concern he hoses him down in. Lets himself be inspected, whirled, and patted, his chin anchored to his chest. Refusing to look at him because if he does, he knows. He knows, he'll rush into his arms and bury his face in Aki's collar, and he'll feel horrid about scaring him, about being bad and burdensome, someone that selfishly holds him back. ]

…'m okay. I'm okay.

[ His hands snake up, grabbing Aki's elbows, trying to keep him at a distance as he twists to make eye contact with the dog-devil. Denji smiles wanly at the creature, an assurance that he's not in any danger — whether he's convinced by the display or not is hard to tell, but he at least doesn't look like he'll bolt anywhere. He definitely won't be lunging for Denji and Aki, at any rate. ]

A… Aniki.

[ The faintly bashful address tumbles out unnaturally from Denji, who's still looking at the dog. He never calls Aki that, not even when he's trying to butter him up; it always felt like something better reserved for a special occasion, like offerings his congratulations on passing his exam or slapping his back on his wedding day — if he could even make it to that point. ]

I don't wanna die. I don't wanna have you takin' care of me until the end forever and ever, either. So I made a contract… [ Ears loud with the thrum of his heartbeat and his stomach doing extreme acrobatics, Denji gulps. His grip on Aki is equal in tightness to Aki's own grip him. Willing up the courage, his eyes whip up, Denji taking a step closer as he excitedly declares: ] In exchange for healing him, he'll take care of me so you won't have to!

[It's like everything Denji says hits him in slow motion. He's not going to die. He doesn't want Aki to have to take care of him. He made a contract. The devil will take care of him. He made a contract.]

[He made a contract.]

[Aki flashes back to when he first started studying for Public Safety's entry exams, all the way back in junior high. When Denji and Power were still just kids, not even teens. He would answer all their questions about devils and how devil hunters killed them, how fiends were just as much devils as a regular devil - how some devil hunters made contracts with devils in order to use them to kill other devils. He remembers being disturbed by the idea, when he was first learning. But eventually forced himself over that hurdle. Understood them as tools, not partners. Understood that it was a necessary risk for a greater goal of destroying devils. And he thought he explained that to them. Thought he told them how that worked. But now Denji so eagerly tells him this, that he made a contract with this devil crouching hidden in a playground, that the devil will keep him safe so Aki won't have to.]

[He wants to drop onto his knees and cry. Denji made a devil contract. Stupid, idiot Denji who can't remember how to make curry properly, who thought Power was a fiend because she wore a horned headband, Denji who ate a dirt pie because another kid told him it was chocolate despite the worm crawling through the center...]

[He's so angry at him. But more than that, he's mourning. Because how much blood would a devil demand in return for keeping an idiot like Denji safe?]

You're so stupid... You're such an idiot... You're so...

[...And did he call him aniki??]

Why... Why that one?

[Was it just the first one he saw? Did it manipulate him? He's grasping at straws, some sort of explanation for why he did this.]

[ Watching Aki, it's not complicated to sense that he's processing, ping-ponging between different emotions, but that's about all Denji can tell. He can't place which ones exactly he's feeling, if he's winding up for some sort calamitous fallout. He's insulting him, but there's isn't the usual sharpness to the delivery. But he's not blowing up at him — does that mean he's in his good graces? Bad? Should he shield his face, in case Aki hits him?

Denji's just beginning to inconspicuously inch apart from him when his dazed question prompts him to pause and consider. Then he turns, falling into a squat as he wiggles his fingers at the devil, coaxing him forward. ]

Uh, that's a toughie…

[ Cautiously, the creature approaches, sniffing at the curl of the proffered hand. Denji scratches at his squishy cheek, wanting to make sure he's relaxed, before he lifts the flap of his mouth, revealing only bitty fangs, the size of his fingernails. There isn't even blood staining them anymore. ]

He looked like he wanted to live, I guess.

[ He thinks about all those times he would press into Aki's side all nosily, wanting to see what he was studying, sure, but mostly wanting to steal a crumb of his attention away from the stuff that seemed to blizzard his gaze, blotting everything else from his periphery. Of course, when he would share his learnings, he was always focused on devil extermination, the standard tactics leveraged when engaging in combat, what competencies were expected from Public Safety hunters. Meanwhile, Denji's interests were more rooted in subject matter that didn't necessarily villainize devils, but observed them with the same impartiality as any other living existence on the planet, which were far and few between. But when he did get a lick of something like that from Aki, whose eyes teemed less with heat and hatred during, those were probably the only instances he actually enjoyed being taught.

Denji's expression softens at the memory. ]

Besides he's cute, don't ya think?

That's it...?

[Aki watches as Denji calls the devil over, just like how Power coaxes Meowy from the cabinets after something spooks her. It opens its mouth and Aki is expecting knives and daggers but all he sees are teeth the size of pins. He's not so stupid or fearful of devils to think they're all shaped like monsters and beasts. Hell, some of them look human, indistinguishably so, or so he's heard. But this strange dog with a chainsaw sticking out of its head... Denji really looked at it and thought that it wanted to live?]

[There's nothing he can do about it at this point. If he really did make that contract, it's not like he can just ditch this devil now. Aki stares down at the two of them, Denji with his hand outstretched and the devil sniffing it with its body cocked to avoid touching him with the disc of points coming out of it. He sets his jaw and finally steps forward, around Denji and leans down to grab the devil by the black handle protruding from its back, holding it up in the air in front of him at a slight distance. Staring it down with a sharp look, threatening if the devil won't threaten him first.]

If you ever hurt him - [He points to Denji, like the devil could pretend not to know what he means.] - then you'll be the first devil I kill. Got it?

[The devil hangs in the air with its back paws curled up, obviously unnerved and threatened by Aki's display. It barks like a dog, has the nerve to sound cute while doing so, and Aki looks back down at Denji.]

And you'll let me kill it, if it hurts you. Right?

[Two contracts for Denji tonight.]

Whatever. He's not gonna hurt me, [ is the on-the-spot response that question garners from Denji. But if push comes to shove, he's pretty positive he wouldn't get in Aki's way if he needed to get rid of his newly contracted devil. Probably. The devil and he only did just meet maybe half an hour ago; he's known Aki for the better part of his life. It wouldn't make sense if he were so attached already that he'd be willing to put his own hide on the line for him…

It wouldn't, right?

Denji sorta knows about the formal intricacies of a contract due to Aki's lecturing, but as he makes eye contact again with the pebble-shaped devil, his body tensing with each passing second as he looks into those endearingly large, circular eyes, that little tongue hanging out as he pants, he realizes —

He doesn't know what a true partnership between a devil and human entails, whether that is mutual trust and partnership means, or just strict adherence to the terms they verbally agreed on, or something else he's not aware of. Suddenly, Denji grumbles something about toning down the whole intimidation act to Aki, though he knows that it probably goes unheard, his hands pulling at the devil's handle to whisk him away from the older boy's grasp. And with an obvious limp, he begins heading back in the direction of their apartment, not waiting for Aki, the dog cradled more comfortably in his arms.

…He obviously doesn't get very far, though. ]

Damn it.

[ Briefly halting to rebalance his companion to one arm, he lifts his foot up to pick off some the stray bits of debris. Just… Just carry on. Nothing to see here, Aki. ]

[Aki allows him to pull the devil away, though he still doesn't look at all pleased with what's happened tonight. This all started with a discussion about Denji thinking about taking a visit back to his home, back to see his family's grave. Then he ran out, made a contract with a random devil, and has the nerve to look at Aki like he's the one being unreasonable about how unhappy he is with the situation. He watches him limp away for a moment, frowning, but when he stops and adjusts his feet it's the first moment he realizes that Denji left his shoes.]

[He sighs heavily, his arms hanging beside him as he watches the younger boy carry the orange chainsaw dog with a stumbling limp. If they were closer to their apartment, he would make him walk the whole way as punishment for this whole night. But if he stepped in something and the walk back makes it worse...]

Come on.

[He motions for Denji to drop the devil as he steps up beside him, then squats down with the expectation that he'll climb onto his back.]

It can walk itself. Get on.

[ As if to support Aki's claim, the devil dog yips in agreement, pattering around with ease, its corded tail swaying back-and-forth. Well, Denji did feed him earlier, so that's no surprise.

He turns his attention to Aki's back, studying the base of his waist to the rounded corners of his shoulders with a frown. Considering the amount of time he's dedicated to training, not just recently but these past few years, his ability to carry him back home isn't really in question here. Nor is whether Power will give him crap for seeing him dragged back this way. No, neither of those things are why he hesitates at first.

He's treating me like a baby, Denji thinks when he at last mounts himself into place, his arms hanging loosely around his neck, chin perching along the curve. He lets out a huff of air, like he wants to make it clear he's not happy about this (though Aki probably isn't, either, so whatever). This isn't the first time he's looked at him and felt a flicker of indignation, envy, that his own body hasn't firmed up in the same way yet. If it ever will. ]

Fine. Just don't drop me.

[Aki is probably the lesser happy of the two. When Denji climbs into position he hoists him up, locking his arms around his knees, crouching just enough that he can hold him without tipping backward. He feels the exhale of his breath right by his neck and stares forward, ignoring the reminder not to drop him. Then glances down at the devil.]

[It stares up in turn, looking less at Aki and more at Denji, he realizes. Is it worried? Aki can't tell. He starts walking and the devil follows right beside him, not behind or in front, but beside like a friend walking. It's strange. His eyes keep darting over to it, but it never leaves, occasionally looking up at the two of them, its tongue lolling out as it pants. He's carried Denji like this plenty of times, Power even more, so the act isn't that difficult. But when he feels wired with adrenaline and nowhere to let it discharge, his muscles feel locked up and the simple act of walking is like running an over-greased machine on gravel. He wants to grab Denji and hold him and Power close. He wants to kill this devil. He wants things to go back to how they were, years ago. Back when he didn't feel as much responsibility as he does now. Maybe this whole night could have gone differently, had he come home earlier, had he done it over dinner, had he brought Power into the room during it. Maybe he could have grabbed Denji before he ran off. Maybe he could have said it in a different way. Maybe he could have not brought up the whole topic. Maybe he could have walked back to the house together with Taiyou.]

[He pulls open the door to the apartment and sets Denji down, pointing him to the bathroom with a silent finger. He'll need to check both his arm and his feet. Power pops out of the bedroom, surveying the result of their apparent battle, but when the devil trots in after them she points and shouts, Meowy! They've brought you a foe! Aki glances down at the devil who stands in the genkan, panting happily in the warmer apartment before snaking around his legs to follow Denji.]

...Bring it in the bathroom. It can stay in there. [Do devils need housetrained? He has no idea. That was never covered in any of the books he read.]

[ Back inside their compact apartment, the weight of Denji's sigh falls against Aki's neck as he slips off, the pads of his feet gingerly landing on the floor. The soda can isn't there anymore, so he can only assume Aki finished taking care of the rest of the mess before tracking him down. For some reason, knowing that sucks even worse than the way his blisters sting. Makes his legs itch restlessly, makes him want to run out all over again, or at least secrete himself away somewhere out of sight. But there's nowhere, nowhere except — ]

Yeah, alright. [ He drags himself past Power, who's still curiously onlooking the exchange between them, and into the bathroom. The devil looks up from where he'd been sniffing at her toes, alerted by Denji's movements, scurrying to catch up with his skulking steps. ] I'll stay in there with him. Gotta make sure he doesn't crap on the mat or get scared.

[ It feels a little like an oxymoron to imagine a scared devil, but surely they must feel that away about something — like death, as he sensed from the little thing earlier when he was injured. If they can feel threatened or dread when in the presence of a concept foreign to even them, then it makes sense they would feel the accompanying fear.

The dog curls up in one corner of the bathroom, keeping an eye on Denji as he gives his bitten arm a rinse. He briefly parks himself on the toilet seat to finishing plucking the splinters from his feet, tossing the pieces into the trash. Shortly after that, he's back on his feet again, limping between rooms to move his blanket and pillow, mumbling his good nights to Power and Meowy who don't hear him because they're already asleep. The next time he crosses paths with Aki, if that's in the corridor or at the threshold of their bedroom, he glances at him as he moves by before too-hastily pushing his gaze forward. ]

…Night.

[He's going to sleep in the bathroom... Aki really doesn't like that idea. He watches the way he picks splinters out of his foot for a moment before seeing Power head back to the bedroom, following her so he can briefly explain what happened. She's so unconcerned thanks to the time of night that she barely listens, keeps whacking him with her arms to shut up, but when he finally tells her good night and Meowy is curled up on her stomach, Denji is coming inside to get his bed and drag it out. He follows after him, jaw still in a tight line, and when he simply says Night like that's it, Aki slowly shakes his head.]

You can't take this into the bathroom. It'll get moldy. [He's ready to leave it at that, the expectation that he'll obey, but with Denji already standing there with his gaze dropped, thinking about how the rest of the night has gone...] ...You can sleep in the hallway, right outside. Okay? You can keep the door open.

[Compromise. He follows him to where he sets it down, then steps over it and into the bedroom.]

Sit down, and keep your feet out of the covers for a minute. [He goes to hunt for the first aid kit that he keeps out of reach of Power - one time she tried to decorate the house in bandaids and he hasn't trusted her with it since. He has to hop slightly to grab it.] And let me see your arm, too.

Why're you… Give it a rest, worrywart. I'm not hurt that bad.

[ He confusedly watches Aki just decide things on his own, his futon sinking flat against the ground as nice and deflated as his sails right now. He passes a hand over his eyes, like he's the one being put through grief, though he knows deep down that isn't true. A stolen look over his shoulder tells him the devil, too, has been arrested by sleep, quiet breaths leaving his small body in a stable rhythm. Peaceful, not really needing a protector at the moment.

After a long beat, Denji does as he's told, sitting and stretching his swollen feet flat across the sheets. The skin on the beds of his feet is red, stickily chafed, and peeling in places; in others, the skin is simply bubbled. ]

Make it quick, alright?

[Aki passes Denji a frustrated stare at his words, squatting down onto his knees in front of him.]

You ran out in the middle of the night and made a contract with a devil. [He grabs at his foot and examines it without touching the sole before carefully peeling the chafed and splitting skin with a pair of tweezers.] I think I'm allowed to be a worrywart right now.

[Once his feet and cleaned with antiseptic and he's wrapped the soles in some protective tape, he goes for his arm next, brushing his thumb over the bite marks as his frown deepens. Once they're cleaned he only needs to press a couple small bandages over the wounds but once it's done he still doesn't let go, continues holding onto Denji's arm as he stares down at the twin bandages marking where he made his decision. How, maybe, if he had rushed out right after Denji did, maybe he could have stopped him. Prevented this. Again, someone ran away from him and he simply watched as a devil took them.]

It's not that I'm mad at you. [He's a little bit mad. But that's not the point.] It's just... You decided this so suddenly, with so little information. [He finally releases his arm, lets Denji take it back.] With everything else that'll happen next year... I need to be able to trust you.

[ Aki is meticulous, by nature or necessity, he wouldn't know. What he does know is that details don't escape him like they do Denji: he can always name which ingredients they're missing in the fridge, what their favorite meals are, how their school schedules look on a day-to-day basis. He files away different details about their little patched up family, even when he doesn't understand them, and Denji's never been able to fathom why. So he hushes into a silence as Aki speaks, observing him as he carefully tends to his injuries, like it might clue him into something. Like why the rituals of an adult matter so much to him. Like why he was so pushy about the graveyard trip.

Except that by the time he's finished talking, it registers to Denji that he's been concentrating so hard on the feeling of the new callouses on Aki's hands, ones he doesn't recognize, that he hasn't learned a damn thing. He raises his arm, looking like he's examining the bandages, but really, he's staring at the place he'd been holding him. ]

I just don't get it. What're you so afraid of?

[ And was this blow out really that sudden? He doesn’t know the full canvas of how Aki’s past hangs over him, but for Denji, his clings like a persistent shadow — dark and amorphous, something that invites itself through the door without asking and then hangs in the back. Waiting for the right moment to bare its teeth, walk its cold fingers up his shoulders, and whisper boo in his ear. That’s what it felt like earlier. Not so much a suddenness but a matter of time. ]

I wanna help you. [ Which is part of the convoluted reason why he'd made the contract. ] But I dunno if I can do it your way… All that stuff about the trip and moving and being old enough — it doesn't make sense to me. [ Denji's bandaged foot nudges at his toes, soliciting his attention to say the same thing so many others have told Aki before. ] We're still young. We don't gotta do things the way grown ups do.

[ He considers adding, I mean, look at our folks. They're dead. But for once, he keeps his mouth closed. ]

[What is he so afraid of? What the hell kind of question is that? Aki stares at him with a tightly pinched brow, almost in disbelief at his question.]

[They all lost their families, one way or another. Aki has no desire to go through that ever again.]

I know we're still young. [He's painfully aware of that. He wishes he wasn't. It's so annoying to have any adult pat his shoulder and tell him, You're only seventeen.] But we know more than anyone that life is short. It can end in the blink of an eye. So even if it means it might not be as fun, or you might not get it now... I want you to trust me, that I'm saying these things not for nothing.

[He leans forward and stands up, taking the kit with him.]

I don't make that trip back to Hokkaido for fun, or because I'm supposed to. Once you understand that...

[He sets the kit back in its place, his eyes falling to look at the devil, fast asleep on its side. Its tongue lolling out as it dreams. Do devils dream...?]

...I just hope you will, before you start to regret that you didn't sooner.

[He leaves the door open and steps over Denji's bed, walking back down the hallway to the bedroom. He offers a brief Good night over his shoulder, then leaves that bedroom door open as well. Just in case.]

[ Left with those parting words, Denji crashes backward into his bed, air extinguishing out from his fluffed pillow. He stares upside down into the slightly ajar bathroom, watching the devil's foot kick up, scratching at himself while he sleeps. Without a care in the world. Certainly without a care for the ruckus its presence has caused in their household. Denji turns over, looking inside the bedroom next, soaking in the prone silhouettes of Power and Aki on their respective comforters — well, Power's limbs are all fanned out, encroaching on Aki's side; it's strange to be without them, outside looking in, alone in the hallway and picturing a life where he's gone and this is all that's left. To think about how he hasn't been able to do anything, to give them a single thing back yet. Denji's always hated owing others, racking up debts…

Is his compliance in this situation the only thing he can offer to them? Will he regret this contract someday? Will he regret clashing with Aki? Not being the ally he needs while he's still alive and kicking?

So many questions. If this were a midterm, he'd fail this one, too.

The night eventually fades along with Denji's consciousness. He drifts off as he usually does, but that's only because he can pretty much sleep anywhere and wake up all hunky-dory. Sometime, in the earlier hours of the morning when pale beams have yet to scar through their living room, he stirs at the feeling of something brushing against his forehead — Meowy, likely stepping over him to use the litter box, he assumes without opening his eyes. He falls right back asleep once the sensation has gone. Hours later, he wakes again, this time for good, to the racket of Power squawking her usual absurdities at the devil, her face up close and personal as she introduces him to the cat.

The morning is a bit busier but breakfast still manages to land on the table thanks to Aki, which is all that matters to him. Denji sneaks pieces of his food to the tangerine-looking devil when he thinks no one is looking. Of course discussion at the table veers toward his existence, and Denji reluctantly agrees to sit through a more extended conversation regarding ground rules later in the day when they're all home. Though a part of him wonders if Aki will even have energy for that. Come time to leave, his devil gets locked into the bathroom again despite his arguments that if Meowy gets to roam free, so should he, but Denji is shut down as quickly as he starts up.

And then they're off to school. While he and Power are in separate classes, they have a bad habit of texting all throughout the day. Stuff like their half-baked plans to stalk Aki whenever he meets the person who sent that confession (from his memory, the letter set a meeting time for after school), to telling each other the answers to their homework (incorrectly), to pet names (for you know who).

This explains Denji's messages to Aki, let's say, the period right before lunch. He's supposed to be paying attention during English right now. ]

hey…
what do ya think about the name tama or mochi for him

[ Him, also known as the devil they're housing. ]

powy said it fits cuz of his shape but i dont rly like it

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