digestate: (17 ▮ curse)
Denji ([personal profile] digestate) wrote in [community profile] windfall2023-07-13 12:46 pm

light a cigarette, i'll watch as it burns

[ Knocking. The roar of ammunition fire in his ears. Blasts of heat and debris sticking to his face, dust crusting in his eyes. A delirious and delicious taste, sweet red like pomegranate, like Aki's skin scraping open in his mouth.

Denji doesn't talk much about what happened that day.

Not unusual, since he doesn't really talk much about any of what transpired prior to meeting Nayuta, either. Or about how sometimes he can still sense, not even hear, but sense a phone ringing in the distance, its pull like a spiral cord that's gone taut, that's trying to make its way back home and if he follows its trail, he might just find someone familiar on the other end of the receiver.

No, he doesn't tell anyone all that, because, see, the last time he did, Kishibe had just hummed and looked at him, the kind of look Denji would get from adults whenever they caught him picking through the dumpster for his next meal: pitying. Then, he'd shook out a flask from the inside of his coat and said, "Sometimes it's better for the line to go dead, kid."

Weird response, right? It'd made Denji go silent, think a bit. And after a while, he hadn't liked that so much, so he'd changed the subject to something inoffensive, like complaining about how much Nayuta's so much better at arcade games than he is, but Kishibe had cut him short at that point to go take a call.

Naturally, Denji had followed.

It's a little sad that a man in his silver years is the only person he can confide in, but Kishibe's not a bad guy — and that's coming from someone who generally hates men. Then again, the guy doesn't show his gaunt face around these parts unless he absolutely has to, which is probably by his own design, so it helps that he's never around long enough for Denji to get sick of seeing him. Up until that conversation, his absence wouldn't have been something Denji paid notice to. It'd usually take weeks and months and Nayuta asking where the funny, drunk geezer who always sneaks her hard candy is for him to see past the everyday chaos of being Tokyo's friendly neighborhood Chainsaw Man.

But as Denji creeped closer, overhearing some words but not registering most of them, a dangerous curiosity brought him to the edge of his hiding spot. What the hell has this dude been up to?

And then he'd froze.

"So the Gun Devil's position has been compromised. Initiate a tactical retreat."

Afterward, he hadn't done anything for a solid week besides go to school, kick some devil ass and stare vacantly at a pair of eggs frying in the pan for dinner each evening. Predictably, Nayuta had rapidly gotten sick of the menu. So before he could make his eighth pair of fried eggs, she'd scaled up his back and twisted his earlobes until he begged for forgiveness.

"Stuuupid! Dummy! Get a hold of yourself!" Nayuta raged on. "No more acting weird, or else I'm putting doggy kibble in your cereal again!"

She was right. He needed to get a hold of himself. Yeah, he was dumb, but that didn't mean he had eggshells for brains. He could still do stuff in his own way.

In the following weeks, Denji spent his time hounding members of the Devil Hunter Club for all and any relevant knowledge pertaining to devils. From rumors about recent devil sightings, to insights into things like the theoretical mechanics behind how long it took for certain types of devils to die in Hell and be reborn, to mathematical equations projecting the survivability rate of fiends based on the velocity and quantity of violence…

Of course, he only understood about three-percent of anything at any given time, but one detail of interest shared by some gloomy, pig-tailed girl stood out to him. According to her, a mysterious amount of devils had been slain in the Kabukicho district, none of which had been reported by either civilian hunters or Public Safety ones.

Anyone with half their wits would be able to easily determine that this wasn't a reasonable lead, but for Denji? He could feel something trilling out to him. ]
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[personal profile] damngun 2023-08-08 12:41 am (UTC)(link)

[Aki doesn't fight for his shirt back. That was another benefit of Kishibe's visit - getting a fresh change of clothes. He doesn't even notice it, truth be told. He listens as Denji blathers his way through his own understanding, the shadows of his food insecurity in everything he says, making Aki want to get up and cook him a full dinner like he'd initially planned. Frustrating, that it still gets to him. He looks up when he finally settles on what Aki is trying to get through to him, and Aki nods, encouraging. Like trying to praise a puppy who just half-accomplished a trick. Keeping him on the right course.]

There is.

[There has to be.]

[Aki's own dream was shallow and stupid like Denji's. Kill the worst devil known to man. Now look where he ended up. That devil, sleeping inside him, twisting his body into metal at the slightest offense. But Denji is different. Denji can find happiness.]

[He has to.]

[Aki pushes himself to his feet, grabbing his underwear as he goes and rubbing his head.] I'm going to wash off. Get some sleep. [He heads into the bathroom without another word. Sated but not. Content with Denji's understanding of things. Hopeful. So stupid, to be hopeful, but he is. Denji is alive and he just felt it, just experienced it. Touched him, really touched him, for the first time and proved it. More than a pinch and he's still sitting there. He thinks about that as water runs over his face, washes away blood he didn't realize was stuck to his skin. He thinks about the blood he saw on Denji and how quickly he reacted. How quickly Gun reacted. Why?]

[When he shuts off the water, he realizes he didn't even turn on the light. Just felt around like a zombie, searching for an answer to all this sudden change. He dries off and gets dressed, then heads out into the living room to sleep. He still can't look at himself in the mirror. Without consciously meaning to, he sets the extra bed out in front of the door, as if that will stop him from leaving too early, missing him, even if he's always up first. It works out - he's the one who sleeps in that morning, unmoving under the bedding.]

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[personal profile] damngun 2023-08-08 04:42 am (UTC)(link)

[At some point in the night Meowy wakes him up by wanting to sleep on him for the warmth. He was on his side at that point but, upon feeling her in the dip of his stomach, turned over so she could take a more queenly position. He doesn't care. It feels good to feel the rumble of her purr again. He only really got to experience it if he had time to sit down for a bit in between getting home and Denji and Power getting home, and that was a few and far between luxury. When Power got home, she would get off of him and meet her at the door like a dog. Weird cat, he'd said.]

[But those small movements still wake him easily, so Aki is already blinking awake when Denji touches his forehead, then his nose. He shifts, annoyed at the contact. Then the name.]

Yeah... [It's been awhile since he slept mostly through the night. Meowy was the only thing that woke him up. When he starts to shift she climbs off of him and he doesn't watch her go, instead pushing himself up and staring at Denji tiredly. How's he up so early, he thinks, in a strange twist of circumstances.]

[Then he hears the clatter of a food bowl and sees her at the counter. Right. The devil. Aki rubs his eyes and pushes the futon back, getting to his feet so he can pull it out of the way. He doesn't feel like explaining why he put it in front of the door. Even if he thought up a few stupid excuses last night. I was warm. The floor board kept squeaking when I shifted. Stupid stuff when Denji never asks those questions anyway.]

You... Sleep alright? [What a weird thing to say. It's not like they actually slept-slept together. Aki shakes his head, rolling the futon to store for the day.] You need to get a coffee machine, here. [As if he's planning to stay long enough to make that worth it.]

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[personal profile] damngun 2023-08-08 01:20 pm (UTC)(link)

[Aki follows him into the kitchen area, taking stock of something similar to Denji: they really don't have that much room. With all the dog bowls, it's even more obvious to him. He doesn't think about what Denji says too closely, how it sounds like a parent appeasing a child. Let's look this weekend. Something so domestic it still sounds alien to his ears.]

[He begins fishing around for something to make breakfast with, landing on eggs for today. He really needs to wake up earlier if he wants to make Denji a bigger breakfast. Especially if he claims he's going to be sleeping in class, which earns a flat look from Aki.]

[The question comes as he's whisking the eggs. He looks up, facing the stove so it hides the somewhat chagrined twitch it gives his expression.] High school... [That feels like it was so long ago.] I don't know. I didn't make a lot of friends. I'm sure I wasn't a pleasure to be around. [Definitely teenage angst mixed with actual trauma. He doesn't remember making connections with pretty much anyone.] Where I lived, in Hokkaido, that area didn't allow devil hunting clubs. I remember that was a big deal. Lots of kids protesting. I didn't care that much, though, since I wasn't interested in small fry. [And what else were devil hunting clubs fighting? Surely nothing bigger than that.] I lived in an orphanage, but back then, it was right after the Gun Devil's attacks. Especially in that area, any time you built anything, a devil would destroy it within the year. The fear was that bad. Our school had public safety hunters patrolling at all hours, since it was a larger public school. You couldn't join until you were eighteen, though.

[Of course most of his memories at that time are about devils. As a student, he wasn't interested in preparing for anything else.]

I went to Tokyo the moment I was old enough and enrolled in Public Safety. So... [He pauses to roll the omelet he's been cooking, difficult without the correct pan but it comes out neat enough.] I was probably the kind of student who didn't care about his classes. I just wanted to graduate and get out of there.

[Setting it onto a plate, he puts it in front of Denji as he steps back to make a second for the devil.] Probably not the kind of person to model your school life after. No friends, no clubs. Just a stupid, lofty goal.

[Hint, hint. He hasn't asked Denji if he has any friends, but the one person he was hanging around brought him to a devil nest. Doesn't sound too friendly.]

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[personal profile] damngun 2023-08-08 10:21 pm (UTC)(link)

[Aki shakes his head dismissively at the idea he was a delinquent. He probably spent more time ratting other kids out than doing anything that could be considered suspect. Denji already thinks of him as a tight-ass, though, so he keeps that to himself.]

Now that I'm older, I think devil-hunting clubs are stupid. [He finishes rolling the second omelet and places it in front of Nayuta, not really looking at her. He's only feeding her because he knows he has to. Denji would be mad if he didn't, or worse - give her his own food.] Kids don't know what they're doing. They're just throwing themselves out there, risking their lives with no training. They should leave it to the actual hunters.

[Of course Aki still trusts authority over common rule. Despite being owned by the government, that hasn't changed - in fact, maybe it's even strengthened.]

But I didn't loosen up until I entered Public Safety. Himeno-senpai forced me to. [That should give Denji a better picture of him. That this is "loosened up" compared to when he was Denji's age.] She made me go to mixers and nomihodai. We used to have get-togethers to train on off-hours a few times a month, with other divisions. It was mostly just to blow off steam, drink and smoke after beating eat other up. [He has the nerve to sound fond about this. At the time he thought it was stupid and a waste of effort. But now, he's thankful for those nights. Not being alone with his own thoughts while eating dinner. Not staring at his own reflection in the blank TV screen. Not feeling alone, for the first time in years.]

That's how I got connected. Got information. Stayed on top of things. [He sits down at the table, not bothering to make himself anything. His stomach always feels weird the morning after using Gun.] And why I don't have anything left up in Hokkaido, so to speak.

[If Denji had been paying more attention, he's not sure what he would have seen. He didn't have favorite places to hang out, local restaurants he haunted. Hell, he didn't even live in his hometown after the attack. They shipped him to the other side of Sapporo, where there was room.]

It's important to make connections, wherever you're stuck. I didn't learn that until I was older. You still have time.

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[personal profile] damngun 2023-08-09 04:39 am (UTC)(link)

[The look Aki gives Nayuta is cold. Absolutely not, he wants to say, but considering the way Denji looks at him, he seems like he already gets that. He doesn't say anything to her, eventually turning his eyes back to Denji with a look that says, Don't even think about it.]

What about that girl yesterday, who you were with? [Who Aki doesn't trust. Actually, he wonders if she was in the Devil Hunting Club... Ugh. Why can't Denji take up a normal hobby like sports or choir or something?] Isn't there anyone you talk to there? How long have you been enrolled - a year, and you haven't talked to anyone more than once?

[Sounds doubtful. Aki at least had acquaintances, if he really thinks back on it. Sure, he doesn't remember any of their names, but that's not important. Denji is more sociable than he is, he just... gets manipulated easily and everyone seems to want to kill him.]

[Still.]

Try and talk to someone today. At least talk - that's how you start. Alright? [He really does feel like an older brother doing this, leaning forward on the table and looking at Denji tiredly.] And not in some stupid fanclub.

["It's not stupid!" Nayuta tells him, but Aki doesn't even look her way.]

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[personal profile] damngun 2023-08-09 07:05 am (UTC)(link)

[Transactional relationships are definitely not what Aki has in mind, and he looks tired as Denji describes them. He doesn't look too impressed with his cake story, either - confused, more than anything. Someone knew him, but Denji didn't know him? ...Well, it sounds like it was a guy, so maybe Denji just ignored his existence like he seems to do with all men.]

[He wants to push on the mysterious cake gifter, though, as that seems promising, considering it's someone Denji may actually know, but then the devil is storming off and Denji seems concerned about their relationship. Aki has no idea how to respond to that.]

What? [Does Denji think he'd be happy that a devil is living with him? And not just any devil, but that devil?] She's a devil. [As if he didn't befriend his fair share of those by the time of his apparent death. Was partnered with one, even. Saved the life of one, even. But he was different.]

...Find out who the person who bought you a cake was. A whole cake? [What a weird present. Was it Denji's birthday or something? No, that's not right.] You should thank him. A cake isn't cheap. [Who cares about the devil? Denji's lack of a social life is a much more pressing concern for Aki.]

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[personal profile] damngun 2023-08-09 04:53 pm (UTC)(link)

[The matter of who is and isn't a human - even moreso, a devil - isn't a topic Aki can even begin to explore. He spent a majority of his time with Denji disregarding him due to his heart. Saw him as a devil first, kid second. Now he's in the same boat, and what does that say about him? Everyone knew him as the guy who hates devils more then he likes to breathe. Now he has the one he spent his whole life chasing down, the one who literally murdered him, keeping him alive. The idea that he could simply change his views after an experience like that... He just can't.]

[Which goes along with why his stomach always feels like it's been through a spin cycle on mornings after he uses Gun. He leans back in his chair and watches Denji push his food around.]

I'll make something later. I wanted to make sure you had breakfast. [And if he didn't make one for Nayuta he'd be yelled at by her, he assumed. Experiences Power taught him.] Come on, finish up so you can get there on time. Don't worry about me.

[Aki is all taken care of. It's Denji who's the mess, in his mind.]

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[personal profile] damngun 2023-08-09 07:43 pm (UTC)(link)

[He doesn't worry about him, but he's telling him where his stomach medicine is. Aki doesn't respond to that part, instead turning around to look at him when he mentions his landlady. That answers one thing, he thinks. If he's still living off what Aki gave him, well, he doesn't exactly trust his budgeting. Denji would be running out eventually. It's good that he has the connection, at least. And that he thinks she's nice.]

I won't. [Does he look scary? Aki doesn't ask. He wants to say something about how he should do something for her, for taking care of him, but decides against it. The mystery cake boy seems like enough responsibility for him today.]

...Just make sure you come home, this time. [He pauses.] If not right after, then before it gets dark. I don't want to hunt you down again. Promise me that much.

[He more or less made him promise last night. But he wants to make sure he still remembers.]

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[personal profile] damngun 2023-08-10 02:49 am (UTC)(link)

[The way Denji sticks around in the morning actually has Aki getting nervous. He did it the day before, too. Does he tend to skip? Is he trying to skip, to see if Aki will let him? Obviously he won't, and he misinterprets his hesitation as not wanting to go for school's sake as opposed to anything else. He tells him to get going, multiple times, and reminds him - "At least say thank you."]

[He shouldn't have to worry about him. Denji got eaten by the Eternity Devil and came out alright. Allegedly beat and even killed(?) Makima. He survived Darkness, too. But school is a little different from all of those, he supposes.]

[He expects the day to be quiet, which is good because his head is hurting, stomach still rolling. It happens every time he fully turns his head. Maybe it's the sound that bothers him the most. But regardless, he finally takes Denji up on his offer to use medicine, downing some pain relievers when there's a knock. He knows it by the amount of shadows - feds.]

[It's just a check-up, they tell him, in plain clothes and unarmed. It doesn't go for long, but when he admits to head pains they ask if he used his power and Aki lies, claims he didn't. They leave after taking a blood sample and pass by the landlady on their way out, who now Aki has to explain both his presence and the presence of five very large and formidible looking men to. Well, his Denji's-brother cover still works, especially when she reveals she's been to Hokkaido when he claims that's where he lives and he talk to her about it without having to make anything up. It sells the story a little better, even if he feels guilty for lying twice in one day. She leaves him with a bunch of squash, bell peppers, and a head of cabbage. A weird combination, he thinks. But he can probably make something out of it.]

[All in all, an easy day, he thinks, and is considering going outside to finally enjoy a cigarette when he hears Denji enter. He looks at the clock, clearly surprised. He's in the middle of cutting up an apple for himself.]

Welcome back.

[...It feels weird to say. He was hoping all day to be able to say it, for some reason. Some silly little hope that Denji would actually come home at a normal hour so he could say it to him. Why? The desire for normalcy, he tells himself. Nothing more.]

How did it go? Did you find him?

[For once, it's just the two of them without a devil to worry about. How relaxing.]

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[personal profile] damngun 2023-08-10 05:25 am (UTC)(link)

[Huh. That's a disappointment. Aki doesn't look thrilled at the news, but he can't shame him for it. Not his fault if the kid isn't at school one day.]

[He's curious to ask how the rest of the day went, how Denji has been doing in school, if he's studying properly, but then he's right next to him with his mouth open, waiting. Aki sighs and picks up one of the slices. No bunny cuts - he's just been cutting them into eighths. He drops it into his mouth, right on his tongue. Bullseye.]

When does that devil get back? I thought she would go to the same district as you. [They leave together and he had assumed they would return together. Seems like yesterday wasn't a fluke, and she gets home at a different time.] ...And if you want more, get your own plate. [He knows Denji will eat the whole apple if he leaves it on one.]

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[personal profile] damngun 2023-08-10 02:44 pm (UTC)(link)

[Of course he can see his hand moving to try and steal more. Aki doesn't stop him, though.]

You can walk all of them at once? [Seems like a nightmare. Some of them are even bigger than the kid - two of them could overpower Denji, he thinks.] I forgot she had so many. I only saw her apartment once, years ago.

[...What a weird memory. Aki pauses for a moment, reflecting. All he did was drop her off at her place once or twice, but she invited him up once. He had the nerve to think she was going to invite him in. But all she did was give him some paperwork to bring back to the office for her.]

[She probably did that on purpose, he thinks now.]

Here. [He pushes the whole plate toward him, pulling himself to his feet. He'll just cut up a second one.]

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[personal profile] damngun 2023-08-10 06:23 pm (UTC)(link)

[...Of course he takes it like that. Aki doesn't turn around, grabbing a second plate and a second apple.]

No. [Obviously not. He wouldn't have told Denji about it if they had.] She asked me to come up with her and gave me a bunch of documents about and told me to drop it off at the mayor's office. [He sits back down, picking up the knife again.] Like a paperboy.

[He hasn't thought about her much. Not until Denji brought her up did he even remember her. He isn't sure why. Even now, the later periods of knowing her are blurry, complex. He remembers going to see her for help, talking to her about Denji and Power's happiness. But why did he think she would do anything? To think he was so attracted to her when she was a devil.]

Eat that one. [And he starts carving up the second apple, not seeming upset or angry that Denji essentially swiped the first.] ...Are you still caught up on her?

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