light a cigarette, i'll watch as it burns
[ Knocking. The roar of ammunition fire in his ears. Blasts of heat and debris sticking to his face, dust crusting in his eyes. A delirious and delicious taste, sweet red like pomegranate, like Aki's skin scraping open in his mouth.
Denji doesn't talk much about what happened that day.
Not unusual, since he doesn't really talk much about any of what transpired prior to meeting Nayuta, either. Or about how sometimes he can still sense, not even hear, but sense a phone ringing in the distance, its pull like a spiral cord that's gone taut, that's trying to make its way back home and if he follows its trail, he might just find someone familiar on the other end of the receiver.
No, he doesn't tell anyone all that, because, see, the last time he did, Kishibe had just hummed and looked at him, the kind of look Denji would get from adults whenever they caught him picking through the dumpster for his next meal: pitying. Then, he'd shook out a flask from the inside of his coat and said, "Sometimes it's better for the line to go dead, kid."
Weird response, right? It'd made Denji go silent, think a bit. And after a while, he hadn't liked that so much, so he'd changed the subject to something inoffensive, like complaining about how much Nayuta's so much better at arcade games than he is, but Kishibe had cut him short at that point to go take a call.
Naturally, Denji had followed.
It's a little sad that a man in his silver years is the only person he can confide in, but Kishibe's not a bad guy — and that's coming from someone who generally hates men. Then again, the guy doesn't show his gaunt face around these parts unless he absolutely has to, which is probably by his own design, so it helps that he's never around long enough for Denji to get sick of seeing him. Up until that conversation, his absence wouldn't have been something Denji paid notice to. It'd usually take weeks and months and Nayuta asking where the funny, drunk geezer who always sneaks her hard candy is for him to see past the everyday chaos of being Tokyo's friendly neighborhood Chainsaw Man.
But as Denji creeped closer, overhearing some words but not registering most of them, a dangerous curiosity brought him to the edge of his hiding spot. What the hell has this dude been up to?
And then he'd froze.
"So the Gun Devil's position has been compromised. Initiate a tactical retreat."
Afterward, he hadn't done anything for a solid week besides go to school, kick some devil ass and stare vacantly at a pair of eggs frying in the pan for dinner each evening. Predictably, Nayuta had rapidly gotten sick of the menu. So before he could make his eighth pair of fried eggs, she'd scaled up his back and twisted his earlobes until he begged for forgiveness.
"Stuuupid! Dummy! Get a hold of yourself!" Nayuta raged on. "No more acting weird, or else I'm putting doggy kibble in your cereal again!"
She was right. He needed to get a hold of himself. Yeah, he was dumb, but that didn't mean he had eggshells for brains. He could still do stuff in his own way.
In the following weeks, Denji spent his time hounding members of the Devil Hunter Club for all and any relevant knowledge pertaining to devils. From rumors about recent devil sightings, to insights into things like the theoretical mechanics behind how long it took for certain types of devils to die in Hell and be reborn, to mathematical equations projecting the survivability rate of fiends based on the velocity and quantity of violence…
Of course, he only understood about three-percent of anything at any given time, but one detail of interest shared by some gloomy, pig-tailed girl stood out to him. According to her, a mysterious amount of devils had been slain in the Kabukicho district, none of which had been reported by either civilian hunters or Public Safety ones.
Anyone with half their wits would be able to easily determine that this wasn't a reasonable lead, but for Denji? He could feel something trilling out to him. ]
Denji doesn't talk much about what happened that day.
Not unusual, since he doesn't really talk much about any of what transpired prior to meeting Nayuta, either. Or about how sometimes he can still sense, not even hear, but sense a phone ringing in the distance, its pull like a spiral cord that's gone taut, that's trying to make its way back home and if he follows its trail, he might just find someone familiar on the other end of the receiver.
No, he doesn't tell anyone all that, because, see, the last time he did, Kishibe had just hummed and looked at him, the kind of look Denji would get from adults whenever they caught him picking through the dumpster for his next meal: pitying. Then, he'd shook out a flask from the inside of his coat and said, "Sometimes it's better for the line to go dead, kid."
Weird response, right? It'd made Denji go silent, think a bit. And after a while, he hadn't liked that so much, so he'd changed the subject to something inoffensive, like complaining about how much Nayuta's so much better at arcade games than he is, but Kishibe had cut him short at that point to go take a call.
Naturally, Denji had followed.
It's a little sad that a man in his silver years is the only person he can confide in, but Kishibe's not a bad guy — and that's coming from someone who generally hates men. Then again, the guy doesn't show his gaunt face around these parts unless he absolutely has to, which is probably by his own design, so it helps that he's never around long enough for Denji to get sick of seeing him. Up until that conversation, his absence wouldn't have been something Denji paid notice to. It'd usually take weeks and months and Nayuta asking where the funny, drunk geezer who always sneaks her hard candy is for him to see past the everyday chaos of being Tokyo's friendly neighborhood Chainsaw Man.
But as Denji creeped closer, overhearing some words but not registering most of them, a dangerous curiosity brought him to the edge of his hiding spot. What the hell has this dude been up to?
And then he'd froze.
"So the Gun Devil's position has been compromised. Initiate a tactical retreat."
Afterward, he hadn't done anything for a solid week besides go to school, kick some devil ass and stare vacantly at a pair of eggs frying in the pan for dinner each evening. Predictably, Nayuta had rapidly gotten sick of the menu. So before he could make his eighth pair of fried eggs, she'd scaled up his back and twisted his earlobes until he begged for forgiveness.
"Stuuupid! Dummy! Get a hold of yourself!" Nayuta raged on. "No more acting weird, or else I'm putting doggy kibble in your cereal again!"
She was right. He needed to get a hold of himself. Yeah, he was dumb, but that didn't mean he had eggshells for brains. He could still do stuff in his own way.
In the following weeks, Denji spent his time hounding members of the Devil Hunter Club for all and any relevant knowledge pertaining to devils. From rumors about recent devil sightings, to insights into things like the theoretical mechanics behind how long it took for certain types of devils to die in Hell and be reborn, to mathematical equations projecting the survivability rate of fiends based on the velocity and quantity of violence…
Of course, he only understood about three-percent of anything at any given time, but one detail of interest shared by some gloomy, pig-tailed girl stood out to him. According to her, a mysterious amount of devils had been slain in the Kabukicho district, none of which had been reported by either civilian hunters or Public Safety ones.
Anyone with half their wits would be able to easily determine that this wasn't a reasonable lead, but for Denji? He could feel something trilling out to him. ]
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Denji makes to brace up against his elbows, scared that the contact of their lips will end with the change in positioning, but relents to falling into the fluffy comforter after feeling Aki press him down. The strands of his hair fanning out behind him as each touch, ticklish and feathery, sends an electric charge through every nerve in his system, building up into something tight and molten in the depths of his belly. He has an idea, a hope, of where they'll be going with this soon. His fingertips trail from Aki's face, down the curve of his neck, down even further to his chest, pausing to knead the firm skin there.
The subsequent thought hits him fast and uninvited, and he hates it immediately: He used to really be into tits before he felt Power up. God, he misses her.
If he's able to think that, then they're not doing enough. Running on pure instinct and adrenaline, Denji gives his nipples an experimental flick, uncertain of how sensitive Aki might be there, but deciding to pinch and tease them between his fingers, rolling them into swollen circles, anyway. ]
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[The sound from Aki might sound negative to anyone who doesn't know what the sounds of his displeasure actually sound like. He huffs, a brief exhale through his nose when Deni tweaks his nipples, but there's a flicker to his brow and it doesn't go further than that. Not at first, anyway. As he continues, rolling them around and suqeezing and pinching them into harder numbs, his kiss goes deeper, his hands grow tougher, and he finally pulls away with a second huff, his face red. Somehow this feels more embarrassing than crying in front of him. He should have expected the guy who yells the word "tits" randomly to be like this about chests of all kinds.]
Pull your pants down. [He moves away from him and rummages to grab the conveinece store bag, hesitating over the cigarettes he'd thrown in there upon giving up on his attempt. He grabs the lubricant and a condom, returning to Denji with both while on his knees.] You need to relax for this. Just do like I tell you to. Okay?
[He doesn't say a word about the fact that he's already half hard. Of course Denji would have good fingers.]
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R-Relax? [ He mumbles, still nasally from crying, but an edge of trepidation managing to stow away in the stutter of his voice. Goosebumps surfacing along his legs as he watches Aki take point. ] What're you gonna do?
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[Aki begins to wonder if Denji has ever consumed gay porn before. Probably not. He just seems to find whatever's available and usually that's the magazines, based on what he would find stuffed in the edges of his bed on laundry day. He stays knelt next to him and sets a hand on his knee.]
Fingering. [He says it like it's obvious. It kind of is. But Denji... Well. He can see the streaks of wet on his face now and it causes Aki to soften.] It helps you loosen up. So it won't hurt. You just need to relax. Got it?
[He pours some lube into his hand, rubbing it over his fingers and bringing them down to his entrance.] Spread your legs open. Here. [And he leans down to continue kissing him while he begins the act of opening him up, one finger at a time. It seems like that helps him.]
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He knew what Aki was about to do. He just wanted to hear it from his own mouth. ]
A — ki, [ Denji squeals messily into the kiss, dick slapping up against his stomach, vainly attempting to avoid overly squirming. Nearly bites down into Aki's tongue — or maybe he really did bite down? He can't tell, wouldn't have noticed, too focused, too aroused by the agonizing stretch of his insides, the rhythmic suction and release. It's not really Aki's fault that he reacts this way, either; he'd felt him rub into his puckered hole, had tried to relax through the initial strain and fitting of his oiled fingers all the way down to that first knuckle, but goddamn. And then he'd felt the tip of a second finger wedge itself in and…
Fuck it all, it feels good. Pleasure may not be a cure-all for the sunken feeling in his chest, but he'll take any placebo right now.
His hands reach blindly for Aki's pants, his knees bending up so that he can try to toe the annoying fabric down by his belt to his knees, inexorable in his want, heady with impatience to touch him, too, to have his thickening cock in his hands. ]
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[Aki goes about the process excruciatingly slow. He massages the insides of Denji's body with just one finger to start, feeling the way he shifts and flinches below him and taking it as a sign that he's doing this correctly and not that he needs to hurry. The sharps of Denji's teeth are met with Aki reaching up to hold him down by the shoulder, forcing him flat on the bedding so he can more easily pull back if he starts biting too rough. But a few bites - that's more than fine. He just doesn't want to lose his tongue.]
There you go. [It's the same process with the second and third fingers, slowly opening him up until he can effortlessly pump all three of them back and forth, in an out, while helping to pull his pants down at Denji's insistence. He only removes his fingers to finish that, tugging off both his pants and underwear to toss aside and sit up and over him.]
[He just takes him in for a moment. Stares down at him without much of an expression, not excited or annoyed or disgusted or aroused. Inside, it's all different. He's nervous. He wants to do this right. Last night, it was easy. He's touched himself enough times in his life to feel confident getting Denji off with his hand, but this is different. You can't really have sex with yourself to practice, and Aki hasn't done this in over a year. He takes a breath and settles between his legs, only letting his stare linger for a few silent moments, then begins to roll the condom onto himself.]
Denji... [He leans over him, brushing his lips against his cheek and along his jaw.] Don't scream if it hurts. [It's supposed to be a joke. Kind of. Or at least a less direct way of warning him. He's not massive, he's average if anything, but still. He remembers his first time with a guy. Remembers choking on his own tongue from him not prepping Aki enough. Denji deserves a gentler hand. He brushes his nose against him.] Are you ready?
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A quivery whine sounds out of Denji when Aki empties him of his calloused fingers, his head heated and swimming. If he'd kept going, he probably could have orgasmed from getting finger-fucked into oblivion alone — but that would have been too bad, he thinks, as his glassy gaze sinks down to where he watches the thin latex roll down Aki's erection. Confusion lights up in his eyes the longer he's stared at, the interminable silence a lifetime sentence, a punishment, and Denji is on the verge of anchoring himself closer, asking him what's wrong, just as Aki bows forward.
His consideration is sweet. So sweet his insides ache all the more for it, so sweet Denji might cry again. ]
…Uh-huh. [ Denji faintly nods — not for lack of eagerness. He's lightheaded, only has the wherewithal to bend his neck forward to sneak a quick press of his bruised mouth to the corner of Aki's lips. His hips strain in the very same lift to bring his anus closer to the head of his cock, which might be average, but it's fat and fleshy with everything he wants right at this moment. He runs his hand against the length of Aki's shaft, trying to entice him to line himself up. ]
I want — I need — [ The words slur around his mouth, garbled from the amount of built up spit yarning his tongue. He can't even complete the sentence before another impatient whine erupts from him: ] Aki.
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[The desire to do this rough gnaws at him like a hound on his ankles. Every whine and begging sound from Denji makes Aki somehow harder than he was, sweat beading on his brow as he feels his hands try and coax him forward, the lift of his legs bringing his hole even closer, tempting him, guiding him. Aki inhales deep. Lets it out in a fog as he nuzzles Denji's neck like he's looking for a vein.]
Whiny. [He wraps his hands around his thighs, his fingers digging into the meat of them as he holds him apart. His knees move up beneath him as he releases one to line himself up, pressing the head of his cock against him, rubbing the ring of muscle almost like a tease but he's just trying to lubricate the rim. That's what he would tell him if Denji asked. When he finally does press forward, he does it in a single, fluid motion, not fast but not slow, simply sliding in from head to base, filling him in a solid shift.]
[And then he groans, dipping his head lower, dragging his teeth over his collarbone. His hand moves back to his other thigh and he forces Denji's legs open wider so he can somehow fit even more of himself in. Because it's so fucking good. It's better than he imagined. Better than those nights where he was so frustrated about everything, so overwhelmed with his life that he jerked off to the idea of spanking Denji until he cried, hitting him for all the annoying shit he pulls, then turning him over and fucking his reddened ass. It's ten - no, a hundred times better than that scenario. He's never fucked a virgin. It's like he's drowning in how soft, tight, and perfect he is. He groans again as he shifts his hips and presses inside to the hilt.]
Good boy - Good... [The praise rumbles from the back of his throat as his nails dig sharp moons into his skin. He presses them further up, reveling in how he can move Denji's body.] Good, fuck, you feel so good. Open up for me.
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He's tense but working overtime to accept him inside, to weld to the presence of his shape — no, to memorize it, even as his entire frame seizes up, spine arching off the wrinkled bed sheets as Aki leaves pink marks into his chest, his thighs, pressing his legs out as far as he can go. Despite the barrage of sensations, physical and electric, painful and pleasurable, all noise ceases from him like a phone line that's been cut, his mouth twitching agape as he struggles to take one long, stabilizing intake of air. Trying to. But then Aki's hips are hitting flush against his ass cheeks, and that's when he loses it: He doesn’t scream so much as, in a delirium of euphoria, shudder loose a mangled noise from his lungs, tunneled between an animalistic yowl and a moan so primal, so devil-like, it could have been birthed straight from hell's door.
Face screwed up and babbling nonsense curses, Denji whips a hand out behind him, scrabbling for purchase against the edge of the futon, afraid that the next shove might actually send him overboard off the mattress. Plus, it's something helpful to push off of so that he can grind up into Aki's pelvis, the balls of his feet digging brattily into his lower back, urging him. ]
Fuck, yes, I'm open, I'm open, I'm — nngh — [ His other hand splays out square against his abdomen, an approximation of where he can feel Aki reaching. ] A-Again. Do it again… [ Desperately: ] Fuck me, Aki.
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[The sound he makes creates a reaction inside Aki similar to what he felt whe he was a hunter. It's the sign of a weakness exploited, a sneak attack successful, anything working. It immediately makes him want to follow instinct and attack sharper but he holds himself back because it's Denji. Denji, who he beat up within the first hour of meeting him. Denji, who he smacked and shoved and glared at countless times in his life. Denji, who he watched die enough times but never enough to not feel his heart in his throat each time.]
[But then he's begging him and Aki groans, the feeling of his heels digging into his lower back, his hand pressing down right over where he's reached. Aki grabs at Denji's thighs and pushes them both up, forcing him to stretch them up and over himself as he rises up on his knees and slides out of him as a result. There's a sort of violent heat in his eyes as he raises them to look at him. The mix of the sounds he's making, the words he's saying, the voice he's using - it's mixing in a slurry of confusion inside of Aki. He wants to attack as much as he wants to cradle. He wants to hold as much as he wants to punish. And worst of all, he doesn't know which path is right.]
[But he needs to be back in him. Aki thrusts forward to slide back inside and then retreats at the same speed, quick and to the point without being quite so violent as to slap him with his skin. He keeps his hands on his inner thighs and holds them pinned into his stomach as he leans over his body and his tightness converts into how hard he grasps that smooth, soft skin. Like he could just lean down and bite into it. His hips pull back and he repeats that thrust.]
There you go. [Unsure if he's saying it as an answer, a There you go to Denji's request, or a complement, a There you go in how his body responds to him.] You're doing so good - Denji... [He releases his legs with the expectation Denji will keep them up, his hands instead sliding down to his ass to grasp at his cheeks, tug them apart as he begins to thrust in full earnest. Repeated, similar motions that fill and drain him, back and forth, constant in their speed and pressure. He massages the skin of his ass as he moves to press his hole tighter and then looser as he stares down at him, watches his reactions like a hawk, looking for too much pain as well as reveling in the correct amount of it.] Denji - How is it?
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Nice, even now, even as Denji watches a darker compulsion, an ancient one, whet his stare. Even as he exercises restraint. Of course, he recognizes it. He saw the same look on Aki's face when he found him in that seedbed of devils yesterday. Sees it every time he comes home from molting off steel after a fight and has to look into his own reflection.
One caged creature acknowledging another.
From below him, he can't bring himself to say anything about it, can't string the right words together between his blistering breaths as Aki works him in a continuous up-and-down loop of his rolling hips, the clutch of his hole hugging and stretching in tempo to each crushing squeeze of his ass, brutally beckoning, like he's subconsciously trying to milk him for all he's worth. Aki's fault for lathering him in praise so silky, his approval feels no different from if he'd dragged a hand against the skin of his dick.
The real truth is, though, it's not easy for him to get used to relaxing against the pressure throbbing inside him, no matter how constant; sometimes the drop of his weight hits him in a way that makes his whole body tighten and fissure and hiss in reflex to the pain, but then in the next thrust, feel like liquid heaven injecting straight into the knots of his spine, again and again, just like he asked him to. Still, Denji tries his best to keep apace, his legs straining to remain lifted, shaking from the exertion so much that he has to relocate the hand on his stomach to Aki's back shoulder for extra support, nails scraping scarlet trenches into his skin.
When Aki asks him how the sex is, he gives him a feeble look, because isn't it obvious how thoroughly bankrupt of all his senses he is? But then he can only think about earlier, how imploringly he’d asked him if he’d enjoyed himself last night, and he knows he has to say it clear as day: ]
I-I like it! I like — [ His head tosses back, suddenly, from how he can feel their testes rubbing, god, fuck. Denji's hips squirm into the pleasure with another moan, the starter hanging from his chest, jostling, rattling from the vibrations like the tail of a snake. His other hand gropes at the spot, smoothing against the cord, the flesh there sensitive — is Pochita feeling this? Is Pochita lost in the pulsing sensation between their legs, too? ] Everything! Every part of you… feels good. So don't… [ He's not sure how long he's going to make it, honestly. And if that's the case, if he's really going to collapse on Aki's dick soon, he wants to give him permission — ]
Don't hold back.
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[It's like giving a cat catnip or a dog a bone straight from the broth. Denji tells him not to hold back and for a moment Aki looks incensed, ready to do exactly that, his body going tense at how Denji tells him he feels. That he feels good. That he likes it. That he likes Aki and what Aki is doing. It goes to his head and fills it like hot gas.]
[Denji can take it, he knows. He'll accept whatever he gives him and be spry and undamaged within a day. Each time he moans it's like he's egging him on to do just that, to really show him how it can be. How harsh things can be and, despite that, how safe and warm and loving it can be. He can feel his nails cutting into his skin and Aki reaches up blindly to grab him, snatching Denji by his wrist and forcing it up and above his head. His other hand presses into the sheets right beside his neck to steady himself.]
I won't.
[The pulse of his hips has a definitely jerk to the end of them as Aki pounds him, slapping his ass over and over with each thrust. He can feel even the minute flinches and spasms inside of Denji like this and each time he rams in as far as he can manage he swears he feels a new muscle respond. Aki leans down into Denji's neck and bites hard at his throat, sucking at the skin as he continues fucking him with a merciless and constant rhythm like a death march. He keeps it up until he can't, his hips stuttering and shaking as he comes down from the roughness but it's not because he's tired. He raises his head to see Denji, still sliding in and out but gentler, more careful, seeing how he is, pressing his thumb into the palm of his hand in a mimic of a handhold.]
Again? [He doesn't need the permission but he wants Denji to give it to him anyway. His tone is clipped and tight. Not from anger or frustration. If he doesn't keep a handle on himself, he'll finish right now, before he's gotten Denji to his own limit. He needs to make sure he remembers this.]
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Struggling against the vice that fastens him into place, his inner muscles contracting around every fraction of damnably sticky skin he can sleeve around, inside and then vanishing, an onslaught of blows jolting stars into his eyes and keening sounds he didn't think he could make out of his throat — how the fuck is he ever going to have sex with anyone else? If it’s not at least half this good? If it's not Aki's face, gripped by a coiled concentration, mouthing at his jugular? Held captive by his body, thrumming with a pent-up energy that devastates him with each squelch, rippling out into his skin, pushing him nearer and nearer to his peak. The only thing that would make Aki even more perfect is if he ditched the condom.
By the time his thrusts slow, Denji's legs have fully enveloped his waist, locked at the ankles and urging him deeper, if that were even physically possible. Vividly purple, Denji's cock twitches against Aki's stomach. Another form of begging. ]
Hnnngh, ah — gain —
[ Only just barely coming down from overwhelming crash of how fluid his hips are against his, Denji can only squeeze out fragments of an answer, inaudible from the way his groans melt out of him. ]
I'm — I —
[ Almost there. So close. But words fail him, so he gives up on those. Settles for his fingers curling inward, closing around Aki's thumb. His face nosing against the hand Aki's pressing into bedding by his head — tenderly, fondly. Denji's lashes flutter close, briefly.
…Then, jaw widening, his neck lunges for the elastic skin between Aki's thumb and forefinger. Denji's teeth snap, not caring if he breaks through skin or draws blood. He knows from cooking Makima, drenching slabs of her meat in leftover stock as the gas stove heated the wok up, letting the aromatics simmer until something sweet caved from all the raw ingredients of her… He knows that not all acts of love are always understood. That consuming someone, and wanting to be consumed, that violence can feel just as right as holding someone senseless. Hugging them tight, never letting them go.
That's what he wants from Aki. ]
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[Aki takes in a breath when Denji tells him to go again, wrapping his fingers around Denji's hand when he grabs hold of him there. He adjusts his knees beside him while sweat drops down his brow and he begins to back up, to resume.]
[And then Denji bites him and Aki almost howls from the mixture of pain, shock, and arousal. His hand snaps up to cling around Denji's mouth, his thumb and fingers encircling his mouth as if to force that bit of skin into his mouth while he holds him down against the mattress. His hips piston violently as he grunts and pants. His whole body is on fire. He hasn't had sex like this in years. Years, since he's felt the burn of pain in the middle of it. A slap to the face. A bite on the shoulder. A tight pinch to skin, a hand over his mouth, around his neck, warning him to keep it down. But he never could. Aki isn't a noisy person and only raises his voice to prove a point at home. Never in public, never so shamefully to draw attention. But during sex it's different and the sounds he makes are as loud as they are primal. It's like allowing an animal off its leash, letting it run rampant yet contained. Clapping your hands and it comes rushing back, holding its neck out for the clip to attach again. But for those brief moments, he ran so hard he kicked up dirt.]
I'm gonna - Fuck, I'm gonna come in you - Fuck - [He hisses from the pain as he continues pounding into Denji, forcing his hand into his mouth and demanding the pain continue. He knows he's wearing a condom but it doesn't matter with what he says because mentally it feels like he's going to fill Denji to the brim anyway. He jerks his hips until suddenly they stutter and flinch and he drops his head to groan into Denji's throat, his lower teeth dragging over his skin as he fills the condom and moans against the heat of his neck. He moans his name, more curses, his hips still moving, trying to edge out that last little bit of pleasure he can hunt down. He wonders why it's so hard to see straight before realizing his eyes have rolled back. His lower back is killing him. It feels like nirvana. He never wants to pull out of him.]
[And for a moment he just lays there, only croaking out a single, groan of a word into the bottom of his jaw: ] Denji...
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Between that and the brutality of Aki's thrusts, matchless in his desperation to feel something, feel at home somewhere, even if it's just inside a boy who smells like wet dog, Denji doesn't stand a chance.
Aki's hips are still ricocheting toward his own release, when his cock grates up against his walls with a singular twist that has Denji's spine leaping fully off the ground in a mix of agony and bliss. Exquisitely throttled and blinded by white hot sparks flying in his eyes, he wants to moan, gasp, screech Aki's name to the point of wretching, but with his palm still partway inside his mouth, he can only cry and snivel into the bloodied obstruction as pale streaks batter his abdomen in short, stunted bursts. He doesn't feel like a person or a devil or a hybrid of either as he shudders, no rhythm to his movements as Denji's ass meets his thrusts, awkwardly, like he hasn't quite committed to whether he's going to thrust into the open air or grind down into him. He just feels like an open nerve succumbing to the peak of his pain and pleasure.
But it seems that it doesn't matter what he does, or what he is or isn't, because Aki's shaking against him all the same. His moans, not unlike the sound of graves and bones and earth shifting below ground, the roar of cartridge after cartridge emptying — but Denji doesn't look away or shut his eyes, just tries to find the music in it, sighing through his nostrils and using his remaining energy to suction his muscles around his softening cock. The last of his thrusts, the growl of his name, tremoring out inside him, sweetening Denji's own aftershocks.
It's quiet after that, save for their messy breaths. He lies there, chest rising and falling, as Aki does the same. The both of them like two puppies exhausted from roughhousing too hard, but that's just what happens when you let dogs run free into the wilderness without supervision.
Mouth opening to remove the sharp edges of his teeth from his hand, now colored in drool and blood, Denji gives the indentations he'd left a conciliatory lick, trying to cool the swollen skin. And because he always has to ruin a nice moment, he rasps out, voice grainy: ] …We should do that again.
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[Aki breathes hard, feeling drool and blood coating his hand. He lets it fall from Denji's lips and cross over his body as he lays down nearly on top of him, letting his legs drop down and settling partially on the futon, partially on Denji, himself. His body feels like it's buzzing, like he just electrocuted himself. It feels incredible. It feels like he's in heaven. It feels - ]
[Denji speaks up and he blinks, coming down slowly. He's still pressed inside of him, like he's holding his release in despite the condom. Carefully, Aki presses himself up with his non-bloodied hand and manages to shift his hips and slide free, immediately laying back down as he tugs Denji against himself. His heart is racing like he just sprinted a mile. He can't catch his breath. Is this how it always felt...?]
[Maybe once or twice. Maybe, in the way that you find a new restaurant and realize you need to become a regular here. Maybe, in the way you look at the menu and feel excited to try every dish.]
Shit.
[A muttered, breathy swear. His body feels sticky with sweat. His hand hurts like hell. He can feel the webbing between his thumb and index finger aching like it was split in half, blood rolling down his palm. He snaps to a realization, raising it up and setting it on Denji's chest with a groan, right near his cord. He doesn't want to bleed on the futon. Never mind whatever mess is between them and falling from their sweaty bodies.]
You're crazy. [If there's heat to it, it's a pleasant warmth. Like a cup of coffee first thing in the morning.]
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To his credit, in spite of the face he pulls, Denji doesn't raise much of a fuss besides mumbling something about watching it, the skin around his cord being sensitive. The blood spills out on his chest as it rises again, the movement causing the dark droplets to trail down, joining the rest of the stains filming his stomach. He observes this numbly, the side of his face burrowed into Aki's pectoral. Although that's chiefly thanks to the current state of the interior of his head — everything feels woolly, softened by the dispersal of dopamine. A languid satisfaction, even as his legs droop apart to the ground, a dull ache settling into his body. ]
Man, you're making a mess… [ Well, it's not really Aki's mess so much as it is Denji's. Just about every fluid on him is evidence of his own handiwork, technically. But technicalities don't receive rights at the moment, not while a twinkling mischief alights in his brown gaze. His knee nudges into Aki's leg, playfully. ] Hey, remember what you had me do last night?
[ Aki should know where this is going. ]
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[Aki could very well ask whose fault that is. That Denji is the one who bit open his whole hand with his shark teeth. He watches the way the blood drools down his palm and onto his chest, trailing his eyes down to the ropes of semen on his stomach, the way his cock rests languidly against his thigh. He needs to get the condom off, he thinks. And...]
What? [He mutters it, as if he forgot. He didn't, of course. He thought about the feeling of Denji's tongue stroking over his fingers multiple times in the 24 hours since. Aki doesn't move for a moment, simply laying beside him and breathing gradually slowing to something more manageable. He thinks he could ignore him and Denji would give up. He's not really the sort to push on that kind of thing. But...]
[He pushes himself up with his clean hand. Staring down at Denji for a moment, his hair plastered to his forehead with sweat, he finally leans down to start at his chest, right beside his nipple where his blood has rolled down along his skin. Aki begins with a kiss that turns into a longer lick as he follows the vauge trail down to where he came on himself, cleaning it all up without complaint or much reaction, his eyes focused on the path as he folds his hand in on itself, fingers clutched tight to hold the open bit of skin. When he reaches his cock, Aki runs his lips down it gently, as much kissing as it is licking, trying to get him fully cleaned before he pushes himself to sit up and wipes his mouth on the back of his hand. He can taste his own blood on the bottom of his tongue.]
Go get your bandages. [He really needs to wrap this thing.]
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H-Huh? Oh. [ Denji blinks rapidly, dumbfounded. His cheeks, already tinted pink from the contact, grow ever more darker. Like he was caught grabbing a fistful cookies and chip bags, enjoying himself too much. All while blood wells up from Aki's injury.
…Still, he doesn't have to be so casual about it. So different, reined in, compared to the way he was fucking him senseless minutes ago. ]
…Yes, sir.
[ He rubs at the back of his neck, slowly fumbling off the futon and sliding out the door fully naked, his ass cheeks still carrying the somewhat faded imprint of where Aki latched his hands earlier. The medical kit is tucked away under the bathroom sink, but he ransacks the kitchen first for something to snack on. Because, of course.
It's tempting to stop to inspect himself in the mirror when he reaches the bathroom, see if he looks any different or altered after losing his virginity to another guy, but Denji manages to return in a reasonable span of a couple minutes. Kicking the door back shut, he pours the contents in his arms — medkit, pudding, juice cartons, ice packs — off to the side of the comforter. He unclasps the box, revealing that some of the materials inside are gently used but there should be enough gauze to staunch the bleeding at least. ]
Um, I can do it. If you want?
[ Leaving bandage wrapping to Denji… ]
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[Aki presses at the wound as Denji leaves the room, trying not to feel any reaction to what he said. Because that's silly. Denji speaking properly, politely, isn't something to get worked up over.]
[But, god, he could go again. Grab him when he comes in and pin him to the wall, fuck him against the door. No condom this time. Coming in his ass and leaving him to drop down on his knees as he paints the wall in his release. Then pushing his face into it and making him lick it clean. You always make such a damn mess.]
[He blinks out of his reverie when he returns, dumping medical supplies and food on the floor like they're about to have a sleepover. Aki takes the med kit and opens it up with his non-damaged hand and searches for the alcohol first.]
It's fine. [He bit his left hand, so his dominant one is still plenty usable. He's also probably done this a lot more often than Denji has. Pulling his legs up, he crosses them as he begins to dab at the cut with alcohol before pressing the gauze into the wound - he can see the imprint of his teeth better now that the blood and skin is cleaned away, the obvious spots where they broke through and made fissures in his hand. He grabs the tape next and begins to wrap it tightly.]
...Are you alright? [Does he have to do, like... aftercare? Is that what the snacks are for? Usually he'd tell him not to eat in his bedroom but right now he doesn't scold him. His eyes trail to the ice packs. A little worried.] Do you feel okay?
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Absently, he leans his shoulder into Aki's, missing their proximity from earlier whether he realizes it or not. His gaze lowers to the pudding cup he's peeling back the lid of, a camera shutter-like shift passes over his eyes, like the whir of something calibrating. Emotions averaging out. The part of him that wants to resist his concern warring, just a bit, with the part that secretly craves to be doted on. ]
You don't have to do that — worry about me. You didn't stab me through the guts or anything, so like that's a plus. [ A reassurance, he decides. He'll be a good boy. Honestly, even if Aki had gone that far, Denji has a feeling he probably would have found a reason to like that, too. He pushes the ice packs toward Aki with one hand, bringing the snacks closer to his side with his other. ] It was, uh, fun? Kinda embarrassing… I didn't think butt stuff would actually feel that way. Like one of those whatchamacallits — [ Using the little disposable spoon it'd come with, he swipes a spoonful of pudding into his mouth. Gnaws on the plastic in thought. When the answer finally occurs to him, he unsheathes the spoon from his mouth, stabbing it through the air to point into the distance. ] All-you-can-eat barbeques!
[ Not plain soba, haha. ]
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[An all-you-can-eat... Aki snorts. Even smiles a little, if Denji is quick enough to catch it.]
There's a spot inside that feels good. You know - when you hit that one angle. It feels really good. [He grips his hand, squeezing the tape to make sure it holds when he flexes the fingers. It does, so he starts packing it up again. He has no idea if Denji understands the concept of a prostate.] That's why that kind of sex can feel so good, if you know what you're doing.
[He doesn't really need ice, but... when in Rome, he supposes, and reaches out to pick up one of the pudding cups. He hasn't had one of these in years and he peels it open carefully while returning to his previous spot so Denji can still lean on him if he wants.]
Sometimes in the middle of it, you can feel more excited about something than you can actually handle. Like grocery shopping on an empty stomach. [He detached the little spoon, cutting a small scoop into the top of the pudding, the caramel on top sticking to the plastic.] I was worried I pushed you too hard.
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…Nah, you didn't push me too hard.
[ Sure, his legs may feel as sturdy as the custard they're eating and his back has him stiffening with every sudden movement, but maybe that's just part and parcel with having sex. He had a sip of Aki's blood earlier; Denji's confident he'll be fine. To prove a point, that the moment he notices his hand is newly tidied and wrapped up, Denji turns to nuzzles into Aki's shoulder, rubbing his face into him from cheek to cheek, only stopping to press a fresh kiss to his skin. Worm his arms loosely around his waist. He taps his cup, the bottom still covered in pudding, into the side of his hip. ]
So you have a spot like that, too? Where you feel really good inside?
[ He's not trying to incite him. Probably. Okay, maybe a little… ]
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[It's strange how touch still feels electric, even after an act like that. Denji rubs against him and wraps his arm around him and looks like he just got a whiff of catnip. Or a bully stick, to be more species-accurate. But Aki doesn't push him off or give him a look for it. If anything, his allowance for him to do this is permission enough to keep going, though he does nearly roll his eyes when Denji asks about his own body.]
Of course I do. It's connected to your dick. [That's what he was told and he has no reason to doubt it.] ...It's not that I don't trust you to do a good job [he kind of doesn't], but if you're new to it, you can have trouble hitting the right spot. So - now you know.
[Though... That kind of gives him the wrong idea. He meant in terms of Denji's future sexual prospects, regardless of gender. So he clears that up quickly:] Not that you're trying on me any time soon.
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[ With a huff, he sets his cup aside to tighten his cling to Aki, embracing him abundantly closer, Denji's still soft cock pressing into his thigh. He knows he hasn't gotten the hang of being close to another person like this before, that he has a lot of ground cover compared to other people and compared to Aki — perhaps that's why the premature rejection drags out his more petulant instincts. ]
How come? Is it 'cause you think my dick isn't big enough for you or something?
[ Impelled by how irritated that thought makes him, Denji rakes his teeth into Aki's shoulder, scissoring the skin between his molars. The place where, moments prior, he was sweetly pecking. ]
C'mon, I'm never gonna learn unless I try.
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lol np!
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