it's the same as always... the hours are so long, but it's worth it for your happiness ᕙ(- ‸- ‶)ᕗ this year for sure we will take that jeju trip I forgot my lunch again didn't I? so I had some ramyun from the convenience store... none of it matches up to your cooking (╥_╥)
[That's a little flare from his actual, real life!]
it would be no good if you saw me haggard and tired in hongdae tonight so go to sleep early and get your beauty rest loml (´•ᴗ•｀)
[ He remembers those reruns of family members backstabbing one another, fights over inheritance, husbands who spend all their money on Hongdae girls loitering around the station... Oh. ]
I know you're working hard for our sake. I know that I can only stay at home, cook your dinner, and wait for you. I know your wife is like this...
But how come I don't get to see you haggard and tired, but your client does? Please help me understand.
[...Does Soleum want to see him haggard and tired? Should he come in with mussed up hair and pit stains one day?]
[Wait, no. This is make believe. They're playing house.]
but my dear, you're so beautiful that I feel I have to look my best when I'm in your presence (ಥ◡ಥ) it's the least I can do as a man who has to take late night business meetings in a place like hongdae aigoo... all this love for a man who still hasn't given you a family
[Maybe the ghost will read these messages and refuse to interact with either of them.]
without you I wouldn't have the strength to attend these kinds of things. you do so much for me! I would never dream of letting you see me at such low moments but I'll bring home a sweet treat if you insist on staying up~ if you don't fall asleep first! (´ω｀)
I don't feel beautiful right now, but I want you to see that part of me too.
All you do is say pretty words, but you never say them face to face. I want to see you no matter how you look all the time. When you're tired or sad, excited and joking... The man I married has many faces, but it turns out he has many secrets as well.
Unless you have proof the sweet treat is really so worth it, you should go ahead and stay out with your client.
[Hoo, boy. If he was actually cheating on him, this kind of guiilt trip would actually make him back out of it.]
Grapes, your future partner should look out... you really know how to lay it on thick LOL I trust you can play that role very well!
[It seems like Soleum might actually divorce him if he keeps going with this, so he may as well drop it now before he goes through with finding someone else to play bait instead.]
what do you think? can I play a scumbag salaryman cheating on his poor innocent wife? ^^
[ Which is an extremely rocky path to tread, indeed. He almost got wrapped up in the fantasy. ]
Yes, you're... really skilled at acting suspicious and avoiding direct questions. [ Pot, kettle. But it takes one to recognize when another is deserving of praise. Maybe Agent Choi should print thia out, too? ] I don't think I'll have anything to worry about with you.
...As long as you don't break character or say something outrageous, like that baby line. But I'll try to support you aa best as I can, regardless.
the baby line was in character! you didn't see that drama a couple years back? aigoo the husband was evil. he always promised to fulfil her dreams of being a mother until her childhood friend revealed she funded his vasectomy in china the year before... the twists were crazy! even Bronze-ie was following it!!
[See, he wasn't purposefully trying to throw Soleum off or anything. Totally just playing up the role he was assigned!]
but I won't scare you like that in real life ^^ oh but I'll get you something sweet when it's all over, promise!
[ Mm. A couple years back, he was totally engrossed in the Dark Exploration Records. Unless there was a story that referenced the show, the likelihood of any other series soaring straight over his head isn't nil. ]
A vasectomy... I see.
There are times I leave the television on while I'm asleep, [ or trying to ] so I'll check if there's a channel playing reruns later.
And Agent You don't need to get me anything. You're not my real husband. I should be the one offering to pick up your coffee order for the, um... effort you're putting into all this with me.
be careful, you won't be able to sleep if you start watching!
[He thinks Soleum has mentioned leaving the TV on while he sleeps before... Such a funny little quirk about him that definitely doesn't mean anything deeper.]
you love to deny me don't you ^^ what's wrong with a sunbae getting treats for his hubae? of course I'll put effort into this, it's for the sake of a civilian, isn't it?
[Yep, that's the singular, sole reason. He's not having fun with it at all.]
hmm if it wasn't time sensitive, I'd suggest we watch that drama together for some pointers... maybe next time, if you don't end up destroying it
[ Does he love dancing around Agent Choi's habitual charity? Not especially. The guilt it induces, the strange perception of his character it surely draws — it's not a formula that gives him peace of mind, let alone a good night's rest. Then again, the same could be said for any part of the circumstances that have led him here. ]
We could have a phone call, if you would like to take practicing a step further. Messaging each other is different from... the type of act we'll be putting on for the disaster.
[Choi clears his throat, straightens up, then hits call. Once Soleum answers, he jumps right back into it.]
Aigoo, my love... [He's speaking like he's out of breath, voice heavy and full of effort, but a little whiny as he begs, too.] You'll let me come home tonight, won't you? If I had any secrets, you know I could never keep them from you.
[He sighs, shuddering a little with it like it's a lot of effort to do. Like he's just so physically beat.] This job is hard, but you know I'll be promoted once my boss finally leaves next year. You'll be patient for me until then, right? Then things will be so much easier for the two of us...
[ Unfailingly, Agent Choi's name and number spreads across his screen. Beep. The call goes through.
The blunt edge of his thumbnail slides inside the gap between his top and bottom teeth, listening to his senior's dedicated performance. Does… Does he have to rasp like that to convince his significant other that he's been working hard? It's all part of the act, and yet his ears tingle. If he were a devoted housewife in a relationship with someone full of excuses, how would he respond? ]
Dear. [ Thin. Flat. Teetering on the edge of something. ] You've… been drinking, haven't you? In Hongdae. That's the only time you call me with updates like this.
[When he first speaks, Choi can't deny it - there's a brief spark of worry that bursts through him, a feeling that he's toed the line too close and is now getting pushed right back over it. But then it keeps going, his annoyance an act and yet so real he can't help but wonder what it'll take to hear this tone from him for real.]
No, no! [He even interrupts his accusation the moment it's put down, as if this is a dance they've done dozens of times before.] I haven't even left yet. I'm still at the office. Don't you hear it? Taka-taka-taka... [He even mimes typing on a keyboard, even though Soleum can't see him.]
I know I've pushed you with my late nights. But this weekend I'll be home all day and we can do whatever you like together. What should we do? We could go to Gangnam, I can treat you to a nice dinner...
A reluctant breath tips out from his throat, puffing into the receiver like he considered snorting, maybe even chuckling, and decided doing so would let the agent off too easy. He can't lose sight of why they're doing this. ]
You'll really be home the entire time? You won't be answering any work calls? …Well, it might be nice to have help folding the laundry for once.
[ Progressively, his voice brightens, as if cautiously excited. ]
Also, one of the ceiling lights has been flickering recently — I was hoping you'd take a look, ah, if you're not too tired. I bought two different bulbs, but I wasn't sure which I preferred… You've always been better at being decisive than I am. [ He pauses. ] And then your idea — a dinner in Gangnam. I'd like that. Seafood?
[Is he sighing in annoyance? Or maybe trying not to laugh? He can't tell. It's really difficult when most of your skills for observation are based on sight, isn't it? He needs to train his ears more.]
I'll even turn off my work phone...! [He thinks some people have separate work phones. That's a salaryman thing, right?] I'll fold the laundry with you, and do the dishes, and I'll even clean up the patio since the weather's getting nicer so you can spend time out there again... Oh, I'll fix the light, too, of course, your husband is capable enough for something like that~
[The idea of any of this is so alien to him, it's funny to imagine. Coming home to someone, doing domestic things, sharing a bed together... What in the world must that be like?]
I know a good seafood place there. Oh, it was recommended by my boss' boss, so it must be good. They have the freshest mussels, and the way they marinate their crab makes it so soft, it falls right out of the shell. [Suddenly, like a stage whisper:] Grapes, I actually know about a restaurant like that!
[And then back to it.]
So... You can look forward to that, and I can earn my forgiveness for coming late tonight, ight?
[ All this — it's unfamiliar to Soleum, too. He doesn't own enough clothes to need help with folding. The lampshade sitting to the left of his mattress always flickers, but it doesn't bother him to the point of filing a complaint to the reception desk.
But Agent Choi spins promises out of thin air so deftly, so plentiful, every single one of them makes him wonder if he actually has a family. Someone who waits for him to come back home, creates a grocery list with all his favorite snacks, writes him encouraging messages with each homemade lunch. Soleum knows he doesn't, but his senior is very good at making him wonder. ]
Hm.
[ A skeptical noise; in reality, he's just stalling. His sheets rustle with the sound of him smoothing out the wrinkles in the cold space in his bed. What should he say to that? None of it means anything to Soleum, of course, but to the nameless person he's trying to be… ]
You don't need to go that far. [ Softening, the sound of someone giving in: ] I already forgive you.
[Maybe he's getting too into this game. Choi is actually a little anxious when he only hears Soleum hum like that, a flat noise that betrays no emotion. Is he actually disappointed? he wonders automatically before remembering - this is just a game, of course. He won't be taking Soleum out to a nice dinner or folding laundry with him... Fixing his lights or cleaning a shared patio - Right. It's just playing house.]
[But he still sounds so believable when he gives in, forgives the terrible salaryman for his secrets. He can't imagine hearing this tone from Soleum any other time. Annoying him, prodding him, teasing him. If Choi finally fell back and apologized for his behavior, if he caught him on a bad day and had to say he was sorry for swiping his glasses off his nose with his tail tucked between his legs... Would he hear this tone from him for real? Is there any chance he would ever speak so softly to him?]
[Probably not. He sighs with relief into the receiver.]
You're so understanding, it's like you're an angel... I really mean it, I'll give - Oh. [A brief pause, course correction. Yeah, no mentioning pregnancy or whatever.] I'll - make sure the two of us have a weekend where we're together at every moment. I'll even tell my client I'm off on holiday! [Does that work? Imagine not being on call.] Really, I don't deserve a partner so patient as you, Soleum-ah.
[It comes out so naturally, Choi not even bothering to think up a fake name for the charade. Why would he? He might end up screwing up in the middle of things, after all.]
You know, I'm wearing that white jacket you like... [He drops his voice a little, somewhat more flirty.] I'll keep it on until I get home, yeah?
I'm not — and that isn't — I told you any jacket would —
[ Luckily, the agent can't see the uncomfortable, unfathomable warmth running high up his cheeks like floodwater. It's still a passable response, he tells himself. A lover who isn't used to receiving the affection he's wanted from his spouse — surely a person like that would react the same way, refuse, recoil in embarrassment. Soleum is still acting. He is…
It's just troublesome when Agent Choi pitches his voice like that, enticingly low and annoyingly aware of it. Wiping at the side of face like he's got something stuck there, Soleum points the receiver of his phone away from his mouth; he doesn't need the ego stroke of hearing Soleum take more than a few seconds to collect himself. After an exhale he keeps to himself, he meekly returns to the conversation. ]
You're calling me that?
[ A question for Agent Choi, not his husband. Soleum-ah. He can't do that in a disaster. That's how he knows his senior is deliberately pushing his buttons. ]
Don't get ahead of yourself. The first thing you're doing when you get home is taking a shower and going to sleep. Anything else, we can discuss later. Once you're rested. That's all I care about as your wife.
[ That's better. He didn't even stumble around that last word. ]
[...hm? Why can't he call him that? Isn't that what he always calls him? Why is it embarrassing him... Oh!]
Oh, right, the disaster!
[He kind of forgot they were doing this for a specific reason. He was treating this like a training program.]
Hmm, let me think... Maybe I should stay with darling? Is that old fashioned? Do kids nowadays say sweetie? Mm, what about L-O-M-L? Did that sound realistic before?
[Good thing they have a youngster. They won't sound out of place during this investigation. Not one bit.]
L-O-M-L…? [ He spells out the term as if he's slowly fitting the wrong pieces of a puzzle together and coming away utterly confused. ] You called me that before, but what does that mean?
[ No, putting that aside, where is he learning these things? Does the agent not have friends his own age? ]
Um, if I may suggest… It would make sense if you chose something that reminded you of me. Couples do that.
[ At least the ones always picnicking along the Han River whenever he walks by, cuddling on their quilts, feeding each other cut rolls of kimbap. ]
I could do the same — or I could call you hyung. [ That, or maybe: ] Oppa? …No, right? That's too…
[Come on, Soleum, you gotta keep up with the anonymous group chats. There's so much slang to learn and hip new phrases that can be put to use!]
It's a mouthful said all out like that... But I think I might end up laughing if you called me oppa. [He's even laughing a little just saying that. Even though he's been referring to Soleum as his wife for, like, an hour at this point.] Something that reminds me of Grapes... Let me think.
[Grapes remind him of Grapes, of course. Grape-ade, that little rabbit plush... He wears glasses, but that's usually an insult when turned into a nickname. He's cat-like in some ways, too, huh? Calling someone a cat isn't insulting, is it?]
[ Oppa is too silly to be taken seriously, but not love of my life? Though it's useless pointing it out to someone like his senior, the pedant in him is considering doing it, anyway. That is, until Agent Choi's extended ridiculousness wins him the pin drop silence of the century, as sudden as the stop of a heart.
For no reason whatsoever, he's glad Braun isn't sitting inside his breast pocket. ]
You know, kitten! Guys of your generation say that, right?
[The total silence and the shocked tone is enough to make it hard to hide his snickers as Choi tries to explain this away as totally, definitely, absolutely normal.]
Or would kitty be better? You know you're a little cat-like, right? Sometimes I think when you're blinking slowly that you're trying to tell me you like me!
[He's not going to get any slow blinks for awhile after this, is he.]
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this year for sure we will take that jeju trip
I forgot my lunch again didn't I? so I had some ramyun from the convenience store... none of it matches up to your cooking (╥_╥)
[That's a little flare from his actual, real life!]
it would be no good if you saw me haggard and tired in hongdae tonight so go to sleep early and get your beauty rest loml (´•ᴗ•｀)
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I know you're working hard for our sake. I know that I can only stay at home, cook your dinner, and wait for you. I know your wife is like this...
But how come I don't get to see you haggard and tired, but your client does? Please help me understand.
What client are you meeting? Where?
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[Wait, no. This is make believe. They're playing house.]
but my dear, you're so beautiful that I feel I have to look my best when I'm in your presence (ಥ◡ಥ)
it's the least I can do as a man who has to take late night business meetings in a place like hongdae
aigoo... all this love for a man who still hasn't given you a family
[Maybe the ghost will read these messages and refuse to interact with either of them.]
without you I wouldn't have the strength to attend these kinds of things. you do so much for me! I would never dream of letting you see me at such low moments
but I'll bring home a sweet treat if you insist on staying up~ if you don't fall asleep first! (´ω｀)
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(Sir. Do most husbands talk so much? How long do we have to practice?)
[ Just something he has to check before launching into — ]
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I don't feel beautiful right now, but I want you to see that part of me too.
All you do is say pretty words, but you never say them face to face. I want to see you no matter how you look all the time. When you're tired or sad, excited and joking... The man I married has many faces, but it turns out he has many secrets as well.
Unless you have proof the sweet treat is really so worth it, you should go ahead and stay out with your client.
Don't come home.
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Grapes, your future partner should look out... you really know how to lay it on thick LOL
I trust you can play that role very well!
[It seems like Soleum might actually divorce him if he keeps going with this, so he may as well drop it now before he goes through with finding someone else to play bait instead.]
what do you think? can I play a scumbag salaryman cheating on his poor innocent wife? ^^
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[ Which is an extremely rocky path to tread, indeed. He almost got wrapped up in the fantasy. ]
Yes, you're... really skilled at acting suspicious and avoiding direct questions. [ Pot, kettle. But it takes one to recognize when another is deserving of praise. Maybe Agent Choi should print thia out, too? ] I don't think I'll have anything to worry about with you.
...As long as you don't break character or say something outrageous, like that baby line. But I'll try to support you aa best as I can, regardless.
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you didn't see that drama a couple years back? aigoo the husband was evil. he always promised to fulfil her dreams of being a mother until her childhood friend revealed she funded his vasectomy in china the year before...
the twists were crazy! even Bronze-ie was following it!!
[See, he wasn't purposefully trying to throw Soleum off or anything. Totally just playing up the role he was assigned!]
but I won't scare you like that in real life ^^ oh but I'll get you something sweet when it's all over, promise!
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A vasectomy... I see.
There are times I leave the television on while I'm asleep, [ or trying to ] so I'll check if there's a channel playing reruns later.
And Agent
You don't need to get me anything. You're not my real husband. I should be the one offering to pick up your coffee order for the, um... effort you're putting into all this with me.
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[He thinks Soleum has mentioned leaving the TV on while he sleeps before... Such a funny little quirk about him that definitely doesn't mean anything deeper.]
you love to deny me don't you ^^
what's wrong with a sunbae getting treats for his hubae?
of course I'll put effort into this, it's for the sake of a civilian, isn't it?
[Yep, that's the singular, sole reason. He's not having fun with it at all.]
hmm
if it wasn't time sensitive, I'd suggest we watch that drama together for some pointers...
maybe next time, if you don't end up destroying it
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We could have a phone call, if you would like to take practicing a step further. Messaging each other is different from... the type of act we'll be putting on for the disaster.
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thats true, I have to sound convincing out loud, right?
I'll call!
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Aigoo, my love... [He's speaking like he's out of breath, voice heavy and full of effort, but a little whiny as he begs, too.] You'll let me come home tonight, won't you? If I had any secrets, you know I could never keep them from you.
[He sighs, shuddering a little with it like it's a lot of effort to do. Like he's just so physically beat.] This job is hard, but you know I'll be promoted once my boss finally leaves next year. You'll be patient for me until then, right? Then things will be so much easier for the two of us...
no subject
The blunt edge of his thumbnail slides inside the gap between his top and bottom teeth, listening to his senior's dedicated performance. Does… Does he have to rasp like that to convince his significant other that he's been working hard? It's all part of the act, and yet his ears tingle. If he were a devoted housewife in a relationship with someone full of excuses, how would he respond? ]
Dear. [ Thin. Flat. Teetering on the edge of something. ] You've… been drinking, haven't you? In Hongdae. That's the only time you call me with updates like this.
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No, no! [He even interrupts his accusation the moment it's put down, as if this is a dance they've done dozens of times before.] I haven't even left yet. I'm still at the office. Don't you hear it? Taka-taka-taka... [He even mimes typing on a keyboard, even though Soleum can't see him.]
I know I've pushed you with my late nights. But this weekend I'll be home all day and we can do whatever you like together. What should we do? We could go to Gangnam, I can treat you to a nice dinner...
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A reluctant breath tips out from his throat, puffing into the receiver like he considered snorting, maybe even chuckling, and decided doing so would let the agent off too easy. He can't lose sight of why they're doing this. ]
You'll really be home the entire time? You won't be answering any work calls? …Well, it might be nice to have help folding the laundry for once.
[ Progressively, his voice brightens, as if cautiously excited. ]
Also, one of the ceiling lights has been flickering recently — I was hoping you'd take a look, ah, if you're not too tired. I bought two different bulbs, but I wasn't sure which I preferred… You've always been better at being decisive than I am. [ He pauses. ] And then your idea — a dinner in Gangnam. I'd like that. Seafood?
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I'll even turn off my work phone...! [He thinks some people have separate work phones. That's a salaryman thing, right?] I'll fold the laundry with you, and do the dishes, and I'll even clean up the patio since the weather's getting nicer so you can spend time out there again... Oh, I'll fix the light, too, of course, your husband is capable enough for something like that~
[The idea of any of this is so alien to him, it's funny to imagine. Coming home to someone, doing domestic things, sharing a bed together... What in the world must that be like?]
I know a good seafood place there. Oh, it was recommended by my boss' boss, so it must be good. They have the freshest mussels, and the way they marinate their crab makes it so soft, it falls right out of the shell. [Suddenly, like a stage whisper:] Grapes, I actually know about a restaurant like that!
[And then back to it.]
So... You can look forward to that, and I can earn my forgiveness for coming late tonight, ight?
no subject
But Agent Choi spins promises out of thin air so deftly, so plentiful, every single one of them makes him wonder if he actually has a family. Someone who waits for him to come back home, creates a grocery list with all his favorite snacks, writes him encouraging messages with each homemade lunch. Soleum knows he doesn't, but his senior is very good at making him wonder. ]
Hm.
[ A skeptical noise; in reality, he's just stalling. His sheets rustle with the sound of him smoothing out the wrinkles in the cold space in his bed. What should he say to that? None of it means anything to Soleum, of course, but to the nameless person he's trying to be… ]
You don't need to go that far. [ Softening, the sound of someone giving in: ] I already forgive you.
no subject
[But he still sounds so believable when he gives in, forgives the terrible salaryman for his secrets. He can't imagine hearing this tone from Soleum any other time. Annoying him, prodding him, teasing him. If Choi finally fell back and apologized for his behavior, if he caught him on a bad day and had to say he was sorry for swiping his glasses off his nose with his tail tucked between his legs... Would he hear this tone from him for real? Is there any chance he would ever speak so softly to him?]
[Probably not. He sighs with relief into the receiver.]
You're so understanding, it's like you're an angel... I really mean it, I'll give - Oh. [A brief pause, course correction. Yeah, no mentioning pregnancy or whatever.] I'll - make sure the two of us have a weekend where we're together at every moment. I'll even tell my client I'm off on holiday! [Does that work? Imagine not being on call.] Really, I don't deserve a partner so patient as you, Soleum-ah.
[It comes out so naturally, Choi not even bothering to think up a fake name for the charade. Why would he? He might end up screwing up in the middle of things, after all.]
You know, I'm wearing that white jacket you like... [He drops his voice a little, somewhat more flirty.] I'll keep it on until I get home, yeah?
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I'm not — and that isn't — I told you any jacket would —
[ Luckily, the agent can't see the uncomfortable, unfathomable warmth running high up his cheeks like floodwater. It's still a passable response, he tells himself. A lover who isn't used to receiving the affection he's wanted from his spouse — surely a person like that would react the same way, refuse, recoil in embarrassment. Soleum is still acting. He is…
It's just troublesome when Agent Choi pitches his voice like that, enticingly low and annoyingly aware of it. Wiping at the side of face like he's got something stuck there, Soleum points the receiver of his phone away from his mouth; he doesn't need the ego stroke of hearing Soleum take more than a few seconds to collect himself. After an exhale he keeps to himself, he meekly returns to the conversation. ]
You're calling me that?
[ A question for Agent Choi, not his husband. Soleum-ah. He can't do that in a disaster. That's how he knows his senior is deliberately pushing his buttons. ]
Don't get ahead of yourself. The first thing you're doing when you get home is taking a shower and going to sleep. Anything else, we can discuss later. Once you're rested. That's all I care about as your wife.
[ That's better. He didn't even stumble around that last word. ]
no subject
Oh, right, the disaster!
[He kind of forgot they were doing this for a specific reason. He was treating this like a training program.]
Hmm, let me think... Maybe I should stay with darling? Is that old fashioned? Do kids nowadays say sweetie? Mm, what about L-O-M-L? Did that sound realistic before?
[Good thing they have a youngster. They won't sound out of place during this investigation. Not one bit.]
What do you want me to call you, Grapes?
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[ No, putting that aside, where is he learning these things? Does the agent not have friends his own age? ]
Um, if I may suggest… It would make sense if you chose something that reminded you of me. Couples do that.
[ At least the ones always picnicking along the Han River whenever he walks by, cuddling on their quilts, feeding each other cut rolls of kimbap. ]
I could do the same — or I could call you hyung. [ That, or maybe: ] Oppa? …No, right? That's too…
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[Come on, Soleum, you gotta keep up with the anonymous group chats. There's so much slang to learn and hip new phrases that can be put to use!]
It's a mouthful said all out like that... But I think I might end up laughing if you called me oppa. [He's even laughing a little just saying that. Even though he's been referring to Soleum as his wife for, like, an hour at this point.] Something that reminds me of Grapes... Let me think.
[Grapes remind him of Grapes, of course. Grape-ade, that little rabbit plush... He wears glasses, but that's usually an insult when turned into a nickname. He's cat-like in some ways, too, huh? Calling someone a cat isn't insulting, is it?]
Kitten?
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For no reason whatsoever, he's glad Braun isn't sitting inside his breast pocket. ]
What did you say?
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[The total silence and the shocked tone is enough to make it hard to hide his snickers as Choi tries to explain this away as totally, definitely, absolutely normal.]
Or would kitty be better? You know you're a little cat-like, right? Sometimes I think when you're blinking slowly that you're trying to tell me you like me!
[He's not going to get any slow blinks for awhile after this, is he.]
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