[ Mm. A couple years back, he was totally engrossed in the Dark Exploration Records. Unless there was a story that referenced the show, the likelihood of any other series soaring straight over his head isn't nil. ]
A vasectomy... I see.
There are times I leave the television on while I'm asleep, [ or trying to ] so I'll check if there's a channel playing reruns later.
And Agent You don't need to get me anything. You're not my real husband. I should be the one offering to pick up your coffee order for the, um... effort you're putting into all this with me.
be careful, you won't be able to sleep if you start watching!
[He thinks Soleum has mentioned leaving the TV on while he sleeps before... Such a funny little quirk about him that definitely doesn't mean anything deeper.]
you love to deny me don't you ^^ what's wrong with a sunbae getting treats for his hubae? of course I'll put effort into this, it's for the sake of a civilian, isn't it?
[Yep, that's the singular, sole reason. He's not having fun with it at all.]
hmm if it wasn't time sensitive, I'd suggest we watch that drama together for some pointers... maybe next time, if you don't end up destroying it
[ Does he love dancing around Agent Choi's habitual charity? Not especially. The guilt it induces, the strange perception of his character it surely draws — it's not a formula that gives him peace of mind, let alone a good night's rest. Then again, the same could be said for any part of the circumstances that have led him here. ]
We could have a phone call, if you would like to take practicing a step further. Messaging each other is different from... the type of act we'll be putting on for the disaster.
[Choi clears his throat, straightens up, then hits call. Once Soleum answers, he jumps right back into it.]
Aigoo, my love... [He's speaking like he's out of breath, voice heavy and full of effort, but a little whiny as he begs, too.] You'll let me come home tonight, won't you? If I had any secrets, you know I could never keep them from you.
[He sighs, shuddering a little with it like it's a lot of effort to do. Like he's just so physically beat.] This job is hard, but you know I'll be promoted once my boss finally leaves next year. You'll be patient for me until then, right? Then things will be so much easier for the two of us...
[ Unfailingly, Agent Choi's name and number spreads across his screen. Beep. The call goes through.
The blunt edge of his thumbnail slides inside the gap between his top and bottom teeth, listening to his senior's dedicated performance. Does… Does he have to rasp like that to convince his significant other that he's been working hard? It's all part of the act, and yet his ears tingle. If he were a devoted housewife in a relationship with someone full of excuses, how would he respond? ]
Dear. [ Thin. Flat. Teetering on the edge of something. ] You've… been drinking, haven't you? In Hongdae. That's the only time you call me with updates like this.
[When he first speaks, Choi can't deny it - there's a brief spark of worry that bursts through him, a feeling that he's toed the line too close and is now getting pushed right back over it. But then it keeps going, his annoyance an act and yet so real he can't help but wonder what it'll take to hear this tone from him for real.]
No, no! [He even interrupts his accusation the moment it's put down, as if this is a dance they've done dozens of times before.] I haven't even left yet. I'm still at the office. Don't you hear it? Taka-taka-taka... [He even mimes typing on a keyboard, even though Soleum can't see him.]
I know I've pushed you with my late nights. But this weekend I'll be home all day and we can do whatever you like together. What should we do? We could go to Gangnam, I can treat you to a nice dinner...
A reluctant breath tips out from his throat, puffing into the receiver like he considered snorting, maybe even chuckling, and decided doing so would let the agent off too easy. He can't lose sight of why they're doing this. ]
You'll really be home the entire time? You won't be answering any work calls? …Well, it might be nice to have help folding the laundry for once.
[ Progressively, his voice brightens, as if cautiously excited. ]
Also, one of the ceiling lights has been flickering recently — I was hoping you'd take a look, ah, if you're not too tired. I bought two different bulbs, but I wasn't sure which I preferred… You've always been better at being decisive than I am. [ He pauses. ] And then your idea — a dinner in Gangnam. I'd like that. Seafood?
[Is he sighing in annoyance? Or maybe trying not to laugh? He can't tell. It's really difficult when most of your skills for observation are based on sight, isn't it? He needs to train his ears more.]
I'll even turn off my work phone...! [He thinks some people have separate work phones. That's a salaryman thing, right?] I'll fold the laundry with you, and do the dishes, and I'll even clean up the patio since the weather's getting nicer so you can spend time out there again... Oh, I'll fix the light, too, of course, your husband is capable enough for something like that~
[The idea of any of this is so alien to him, it's funny to imagine. Coming home to someone, doing domestic things, sharing a bed together... What in the world must that be like?]
I know a good seafood place there. Oh, it was recommended by my boss' boss, so it must be good. They have the freshest mussels, and the way they marinate their crab makes it so soft, it falls right out of the shell. [Suddenly, like a stage whisper:] Grapes, I actually know about a restaurant like that!
[And then back to it.]
So... You can look forward to that, and I can earn my forgiveness for coming late tonight, ight?
[ All this — it's unfamiliar to Soleum, too. He doesn't own enough clothes to need help with folding. The lampshade sitting to the left of his mattress always flickers, but it doesn't bother him to the point of filing a complaint to the reception desk.
But Agent Choi spins promises out of thin air so deftly, so plentiful, every single one of them makes him wonder if he actually has a family. Someone who waits for him to come back home, creates a grocery list with all his favorite snacks, writes him encouraging messages with each homemade lunch. Soleum knows he doesn't, but his senior is very good at making him wonder. ]
Hm.
[ A skeptical noise; in reality, he's just stalling. His sheets rustle with the sound of him smoothing out the wrinkles in the cold space in his bed. What should he say to that? None of it means anything to Soleum, of course, but to the nameless person he's trying to be… ]
You don't need to go that far. [ Softening, the sound of someone giving in: ] I already forgive you.
[Maybe he's getting too into this game. Choi is actually a little anxious when he only hears Soleum hum like that, a flat noise that betrays no emotion. Is he actually disappointed? he wonders automatically before remembering - this is just a game, of course. He won't be taking Soleum out to a nice dinner or folding laundry with him... Fixing his lights or cleaning a shared patio - Right. It's just playing house.]
[But he still sounds so believable when he gives in, forgives the terrible salaryman for his secrets. He can't imagine hearing this tone from Soleum any other time. Annoying him, prodding him, teasing him. If Choi finally fell back and apologized for his behavior, if he caught him on a bad day and had to say he was sorry for swiping his glasses off his nose with his tail tucked between his legs... Would he hear this tone from him for real? Is there any chance he would ever speak so softly to him?]
[Probably not. He sighs with relief into the receiver.]
You're so understanding, it's like you're an angel... I really mean it, I'll give - Oh. [A brief pause, course correction. Yeah, no mentioning pregnancy or whatever.] I'll - make sure the two of us have a weekend where we're together at every moment. I'll even tell my client I'm off on holiday! [Does that work? Imagine not being on call.] Really, I don't deserve a partner so patient as you, Soleum-ah.
[It comes out so naturally, Choi not even bothering to think up a fake name for the charade. Why would he? He might end up screwing up in the middle of things, after all.]
You know, I'm wearing that white jacket you like... [He drops his voice a little, somewhat more flirty.] I'll keep it on until I get home, yeah?
I'm not — and that isn't — I told you any jacket would —
[ Luckily, the agent can't see the uncomfortable, unfathomable warmth running high up his cheeks like floodwater. It's still a passable response, he tells himself. A lover who isn't used to receiving the affection he's wanted from his spouse — surely a person like that would react the same way, refuse, recoil in embarrassment. Soleum is still acting. He is…
It's just troublesome when Agent Choi pitches his voice like that, enticingly low and annoyingly aware of it. Wiping at the side of face like he's got something stuck there, Soleum points the receiver of his phone away from his mouth; he doesn't need the ego stroke of hearing Soleum take more than a few seconds to collect himself. After an exhale he keeps to himself, he meekly returns to the conversation. ]
You're calling me that?
[ A question for Agent Choi, not his husband. Soleum-ah. He can't do that in a disaster. That's how he knows his senior is deliberately pushing his buttons. ]
Don't get ahead of yourself. The first thing you're doing when you get home is taking a shower and going to sleep. Anything else, we can discuss later. Once you're rested. That's all I care about as your wife.
[ That's better. He didn't even stumble around that last word. ]
[...hm? Why can't he call him that? Isn't that what he always calls him? Why is it embarrassing him... Oh!]
Oh, right, the disaster!
[He kind of forgot they were doing this for a specific reason. He was treating this like a training program.]
Hmm, let me think... Maybe I should stay with darling? Is that old fashioned? Do kids nowadays say sweetie? Mm, what about L-O-M-L? Did that sound realistic before?
[Good thing they have a youngster. They won't sound out of place during this investigation. Not one bit.]
L-O-M-L…? [ He spells out the term as if he's slowly fitting the wrong pieces of a puzzle together and coming away utterly confused. ] You called me that before, but what does that mean?
[ No, putting that aside, where is he learning these things? Does the agent not have friends his own age? ]
Um, if I may suggest… It would make sense if you chose something that reminded you of me. Couples do that.
[ At least the ones always picnicking along the Han River whenever he walks by, cuddling on their quilts, feeding each other cut rolls of kimbap. ]
I could do the same — or I could call you hyung. [ That, or maybe: ] Oppa? …No, right? That's too…
[Come on, Soleum, you gotta keep up with the anonymous group chats. There's so much slang to learn and hip new phrases that can be put to use!]
It's a mouthful said all out like that... But I think I might end up laughing if you called me oppa. [He's even laughing a little just saying that. Even though he's been referring to Soleum as his wife for, like, an hour at this point.] Something that reminds me of Grapes... Let me think.
[Grapes remind him of Grapes, of course. Grape-ade, that little rabbit plush... He wears glasses, but that's usually an insult when turned into a nickname. He's cat-like in some ways, too, huh? Calling someone a cat isn't insulting, is it?]
[ Oppa is too silly to be taken seriously, but not love of my life? Though it's useless pointing it out to someone like his senior, the pedant in him is considering doing it, anyway. That is, until Agent Choi's extended ridiculousness wins him the pin drop silence of the century, as sudden as the stop of a heart.
For no reason whatsoever, he's glad Braun isn't sitting inside his breast pocket. ]
You know, kitten! Guys of your generation say that, right?
[The total silence and the shocked tone is enough to make it hard to hide his snickers as Choi tries to explain this away as totally, definitely, absolutely normal.]
Or would kitty be better? You know you're a little cat-like, right? Sometimes I think when you're blinking slowly that you're trying to tell me you like me!
[He's not going to get any slow blinks for awhile after this, is he.]
[ Sir, have you considered even once throughout your full life not taking your pranks so far…? Seriously, he almost wishes they would go back to their insane role-playing — er, rehearsal for the mission.
Augh. This is driving him insane. ]
If I liked you, I would tell you.
[ Wow. Soleum's actually surprised at his ability to say something like that so straightforwardly. He nearly believes it himself. ]
Aren't you taking the term 'pet name' too literally? Or should I call you something matching, too? Like pup…
[Soleum says that so seriously despite Choi knowing for certain that it's a lie... What else has he lied so confidently about? Ahh, their youngest is really dangerous.]
Oh? Do you think I'm like a dog? I feel like that's more insulting... But maybe that'd work with the scene. [He's grinning so wide. Soleum can probably hear it in his voice.] Go ahead - Try calling me puppy!
[ Okay, maybe he should said he was more like a monkey. Too smart for his own good, much too willing to make a fool out of Soleum for a laugh. At least with dogs, he can trust them to know how to play nice! ]
Sir...
[ His voice sounds faintly strained. Is he expecting him to just jump back into character after this derailment? ]
Ahem. P-Puppy, do you know when I can expect you to be back? I want to make sure I know when to have dinner ready for you.
[Agent Choi touches his face, silent for a beat too long. His fingers are touching something warm. No, is this reverse teasing or something? Is their youngest able to keep up with his bullying so well that he can swipe his legs out from under him with no warning, even after Choi has tied his laces together? Again he has the feeling that Kim Soleum is incredibly dangerous.]
Er - Right, let me think, with the transfers and all that... I'll be home by seven! [This is another day, right? They're playing up what the Friday evening would be like, when the awful husband has promised to come home on time and spend all weekend with his poor, clueless wife.] It's only a few more hours... What - have you got prepared, kitten? [His fingers are touching something molten, something burning. Oh, shit, it's his face, isn't it?] What kind of meal do I have to look forward to?
[ More and more, this conversation is like an extended test of his mental fortitude rather than something they're doing to purely get their story straight, their act just right. That undercurrent of curiosity and eagerness in his delivered lines… Without a doubt, Agent Choi must be doing this on purpose. Maybe he doesn't trust him yet to properly support him on a mission like this, and that's why he's being — even more like himself, he supposes. It's a little aggravating how much it affects Soleum; his voice alone takes him by the hand, leading his fingertips to the furrow of his brow as if feeling for a fever.
God. Kitten. ]
…How do you feel about ox bone?
[ His throat clears once more, trying to dislodge the words he needs to get out. ]
I could get seolleongtang running on the stove. My mother used to make it for me with extra brisket whenever I felt sick or tired during exam season. She would always say, "It's not medicine that helps along the body's aches, but comfort." I don't know if I could make a soup quite as good, but if it's for my… hardworking pup, I'll do my best.
[Yet again, it's hard to focus on this task the longer Soleum speaks. He sounds so honest, is the thing. Like this is real, and he's being serious... That's how honest he sounds in his words. It's a little scary to think about. How often does he hear this gentle tone from him, accepting of Choi's teasing and responding honestly to his sillier questions? How often is he playing a role for him?]
Ah... That sounds amazing.
[Pot, meet kettle. His own voice sounds mesmerized by the description. Like Soleum has successfully convinced him of the merits of being home on time. But when Choi glances across the length of his apartment into the kitchen, there's nothing waiting on the stove but a dirty pot he hasn't cleaned yet.]
You can't see it, but you can hear my tail wagging, right? Thump thump thump... [Again, some sound effects of a tail whacking the floor with excitement.] I know I'll drink every drop, if it's made by you - kitty.
[Even he hesitated saying it. This isn't sustainable in the face of a disaster. He's going to get too embarrassed. But he doesn't want Soleum not to - Oh, that's bad, right? This is going beyond the simple mission.]
I promise, seven o'clock! ...And then, that bastard husband wouldn't be home until eight, right, Grapes?
[ The tail thumping — is he trying to trip Soleum up and make him laugh? Because it's working. His mouth closes tightly together unevenly to stifle what's oncoming, but after a pointless moment of trying, he gives him a tiny laugh. While brief, it's a sharp enough sound to chip past their pretense. Or, at the very least, his. ] I can hear your tail, but I want to see it too, you know? [ His laughter fades into the receiver, but still somehow manages to warm the space between his last words and his next. The back of his head hits up against the headboard of his bed, both of his knees bent up as he stares out at the floral wall print of his room that Braun seems to hate so much. ] I want to see you. Seven o'clock.
[ Thump, thump, thump, his heartbeat parrots. It comes as a relief with Agent Choi breaks character to share his commentary… He's getting too into this; it's like Soleum is already trapped in the ghost story. ]
That's right. And then at more than a quarter past, he'll apologetically come rushing in. He'll claim that he grabbed something to eat on the way.
[ Soleum can imagine the forced indifference on the waiting wife's face. Could imagine that expression being fixed there from the very moment the promise was made. This husband and wife pair, they're both good liars. ]
[The little pearls of laughter that manage to slip through... He doesn't hear Soleum laugh very often, now that he thinks about it. He keeps up a straight face and is good at feigning indifference, even when Agent Choi is really trying to work for a reaction. Is it just that he has to get his guard down a little?]
Right, right... But somehow they'll both forgive each other... [He's still murmuring for some reason. Are they still playing pretend? This is akin to stage whispering.] In that drama, even after she found out about the vasectomy, she forgave him because he had such a silver tongue. The kind of guy who knows just what to say to brush off any doubts... Do you think I could manage a role like that?
[He huffs a laugh, just a brief puff of sound.]
Though you could say the wife allows him to lie, too, because it's more convenient to keep up appearances.
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no subject
A vasectomy... I see.
There are times I leave the television on while I'm asleep, [ or trying to ] so I'll check if there's a channel playing reruns later.
And Agent
You don't need to get me anything. You're not my real husband. I should be the one offering to pick up your coffee order for the, um... effort you're putting into all this with me.
no subject
[He thinks Soleum has mentioned leaving the TV on while he sleeps before... Such a funny little quirk about him that definitely doesn't mean anything deeper.]
you love to deny me don't you ^^
what's wrong with a sunbae getting treats for his hubae?
of course I'll put effort into this, it's for the sake of a civilian, isn't it?
[Yep, that's the singular, sole reason. He's not having fun with it at all.]
hmm
if it wasn't time sensitive, I'd suggest we watch that drama together for some pointers...
maybe next time, if you don't end up destroying it
no subject
We could have a phone call, if you would like to take practicing a step further. Messaging each other is different from... the type of act we'll be putting on for the disaster.
no subject
thats true, I have to sound convincing out loud, right?
I'll call!
no subject
Aigoo, my love... [He's speaking like he's out of breath, voice heavy and full of effort, but a little whiny as he begs, too.] You'll let me come home tonight, won't you? If I had any secrets, you know I could never keep them from you.
[He sighs, shuddering a little with it like it's a lot of effort to do. Like he's just so physically beat.] This job is hard, but you know I'll be promoted once my boss finally leaves next year. You'll be patient for me until then, right? Then things will be so much easier for the two of us...
no subject
The blunt edge of his thumbnail slides inside the gap between his top and bottom teeth, listening to his senior's dedicated performance. Does… Does he have to rasp like that to convince his significant other that he's been working hard? It's all part of the act, and yet his ears tingle. If he were a devoted housewife in a relationship with someone full of excuses, how would he respond? ]
Dear. [ Thin. Flat. Teetering on the edge of something. ] You've… been drinking, haven't you? In Hongdae. That's the only time you call me with updates like this.
no subject
No, no! [He even interrupts his accusation the moment it's put down, as if this is a dance they've done dozens of times before.] I haven't even left yet. I'm still at the office. Don't you hear it? Taka-taka-taka... [He even mimes typing on a keyboard, even though Soleum can't see him.]
I know I've pushed you with my late nights. But this weekend I'll be home all day and we can do whatever you like together. What should we do? We could go to Gangnam, I can treat you to a nice dinner...
no subject
A reluctant breath tips out from his throat, puffing into the receiver like he considered snorting, maybe even chuckling, and decided doing so would let the agent off too easy. He can't lose sight of why they're doing this. ]
You'll really be home the entire time? You won't be answering any work calls? …Well, it might be nice to have help folding the laundry for once.
[ Progressively, his voice brightens, as if cautiously excited. ]
Also, one of the ceiling lights has been flickering recently — I was hoping you'd take a look, ah, if you're not too tired. I bought two different bulbs, but I wasn't sure which I preferred… You've always been better at being decisive than I am. [ He pauses. ] And then your idea — a dinner in Gangnam. I'd like that. Seafood?
no subject
I'll even turn off my work phone...! [He thinks some people have separate work phones. That's a salaryman thing, right?] I'll fold the laundry with you, and do the dishes, and I'll even clean up the patio since the weather's getting nicer so you can spend time out there again... Oh, I'll fix the light, too, of course, your husband is capable enough for something like that~
[The idea of any of this is so alien to him, it's funny to imagine. Coming home to someone, doing domestic things, sharing a bed together... What in the world must that be like?]
I know a good seafood place there. Oh, it was recommended by my boss' boss, so it must be good. They have the freshest mussels, and the way they marinate their crab makes it so soft, it falls right out of the shell. [Suddenly, like a stage whisper:] Grapes, I actually know about a restaurant like that!
[And then back to it.]
So... You can look forward to that, and I can earn my forgiveness for coming late tonight, ight?
no subject
But Agent Choi spins promises out of thin air so deftly, so plentiful, every single one of them makes him wonder if he actually has a family. Someone who waits for him to come back home, creates a grocery list with all his favorite snacks, writes him encouraging messages with each homemade lunch. Soleum knows he doesn't, but his senior is very good at making him wonder. ]
Hm.
[ A skeptical noise; in reality, he's just stalling. His sheets rustle with the sound of him smoothing out the wrinkles in the cold space in his bed. What should he say to that? None of it means anything to Soleum, of course, but to the nameless person he's trying to be… ]
You don't need to go that far. [ Softening, the sound of someone giving in: ] I already forgive you.
no subject
[But he still sounds so believable when he gives in, forgives the terrible salaryman for his secrets. He can't imagine hearing this tone from Soleum any other time. Annoying him, prodding him, teasing him. If Choi finally fell back and apologized for his behavior, if he caught him on a bad day and had to say he was sorry for swiping his glasses off his nose with his tail tucked between his legs... Would he hear this tone from him for real? Is there any chance he would ever speak so softly to him?]
[Probably not. He sighs with relief into the receiver.]
You're so understanding, it's like you're an angel... I really mean it, I'll give - Oh. [A brief pause, course correction. Yeah, no mentioning pregnancy or whatever.] I'll - make sure the two of us have a weekend where we're together at every moment. I'll even tell my client I'm off on holiday! [Does that work? Imagine not being on call.] Really, I don't deserve a partner so patient as you, Soleum-ah.
[It comes out so naturally, Choi not even bothering to think up a fake name for the charade. Why would he? He might end up screwing up in the middle of things, after all.]
You know, I'm wearing that white jacket you like... [He drops his voice a little, somewhat more flirty.] I'll keep it on until I get home, yeah?
no subject
I'm not — and that isn't — I told you any jacket would —
[ Luckily, the agent can't see the uncomfortable, unfathomable warmth running high up his cheeks like floodwater. It's still a passable response, he tells himself. A lover who isn't used to receiving the affection he's wanted from his spouse — surely a person like that would react the same way, refuse, recoil in embarrassment. Soleum is still acting. He is…
It's just troublesome when Agent Choi pitches his voice like that, enticingly low and annoyingly aware of it. Wiping at the side of face like he's got something stuck there, Soleum points the receiver of his phone away from his mouth; he doesn't need the ego stroke of hearing Soleum take more than a few seconds to collect himself. After an exhale he keeps to himself, he meekly returns to the conversation. ]
You're calling me that?
[ A question for Agent Choi, not his husband. Soleum-ah. He can't do that in a disaster. That's how he knows his senior is deliberately pushing his buttons. ]
Don't get ahead of yourself. The first thing you're doing when you get home is taking a shower and going to sleep. Anything else, we can discuss later. Once you're rested. That's all I care about as your wife.
[ That's better. He didn't even stumble around that last word. ]
no subject
Oh, right, the disaster!
[He kind of forgot they were doing this for a specific reason. He was treating this like a training program.]
Hmm, let me think... Maybe I should stay with darling? Is that old fashioned? Do kids nowadays say sweetie? Mm, what about L-O-M-L? Did that sound realistic before?
[Good thing they have a youngster. They won't sound out of place during this investigation. Not one bit.]
What do you want me to call you, Grapes?
no subject
[ No, putting that aside, where is he learning these things? Does the agent not have friends his own age? ]
Um, if I may suggest… It would make sense if you chose something that reminded you of me. Couples do that.
[ At least the ones always picnicking along the Han River whenever he walks by, cuddling on their quilts, feeding each other cut rolls of kimbap. ]
I could do the same — or I could call you hyung. [ That, or maybe: ] Oppa? …No, right? That's too…
no subject
[Come on, Soleum, you gotta keep up with the anonymous group chats. There's so much slang to learn and hip new phrases that can be put to use!]
It's a mouthful said all out like that... But I think I might end up laughing if you called me oppa. [He's even laughing a little just saying that. Even though he's been referring to Soleum as his wife for, like, an hour at this point.] Something that reminds me of Grapes... Let me think.
[Grapes remind him of Grapes, of course. Grape-ade, that little rabbit plush... He wears glasses, but that's usually an insult when turned into a nickname. He's cat-like in some ways, too, huh? Calling someone a cat isn't insulting, is it?]
Kitten?
no subject
For no reason whatsoever, he's glad Braun isn't sitting inside his breast pocket. ]
What did you say?
no subject
[The total silence and the shocked tone is enough to make it hard to hide his snickers as Choi tries to explain this away as totally, definitely, absolutely normal.]
Or would kitty be better? You know you're a little cat-like, right? Sometimes I think when you're blinking slowly that you're trying to tell me you like me!
[He's not going to get any slow blinks for awhile after this, is he.]
no subject
Augh. This is driving him insane. ]
If I liked you, I would tell you.
[ Wow. Soleum's actually surprised at his ability to say something like that so straightforwardly. He nearly believes it himself. ]
Aren't you taking the term 'pet name' too literally? Or should I call you something matching, too? Like pup…
no subject
Oh? Do you think I'm like a dog? I feel like that's more insulting... But maybe that'd work with the scene. [He's grinning so wide. Soleum can probably hear it in his voice.] Go ahead - Try calling me puppy!
no subject
Sir...
[ His voice sounds faintly strained. Is he expecting him to just jump back into character after this derailment? ]
Ahem. P-Puppy, do you know when I can expect you to be back? I want to make sure I know when to have dinner ready for you.
no subject
[Agent Choi touches his face, silent for a beat too long. His fingers are touching something warm. No, is this reverse teasing or something? Is their youngest able to keep up with his bullying so well that he can swipe his legs out from under him with no warning, even after Choi has tied his laces together? Again he has the feeling that Kim Soleum is incredibly dangerous.]
Er - Right, let me think, with the transfers and all that... I'll be home by seven! [This is another day, right? They're playing up what the Friday evening would be like, when the awful husband has promised to come home on time and spend all weekend with his poor, clueless wife.] It's only a few more hours... What - have you got prepared, kitten? [His fingers are touching something molten, something burning. Oh, shit, it's his face, isn't it?] What kind of meal do I have to look forward to?
no subject
God. Kitten. ]
…How do you feel about ox bone?
[ His throat clears once more, trying to dislodge the words he needs to get out. ]
I could get seolleongtang running on the stove. My mother used to make it for me with extra brisket whenever I felt sick or tired during exam season. She would always say, "It's not medicine that helps along the body's aches, but comfort." I don't know if I could make a soup quite as good, but if it's for my… hardworking pup, I'll do my best.
no subject
Ah... That sounds amazing.
[Pot, meet kettle. His own voice sounds mesmerized by the description. Like Soleum has successfully convinced him of the merits of being home on time. But when Choi glances across the length of his apartment into the kitchen, there's nothing waiting on the stove but a dirty pot he hasn't cleaned yet.]
You can't see it, but you can hear my tail wagging, right? Thump thump thump... [Again, some sound effects of a tail whacking the floor with excitement.] I know I'll drink every drop, if it's made by you - kitty.
[Even he hesitated saying it. This isn't sustainable in the face of a disaster. He's going to get too embarrassed. But he doesn't want Soleum not to - Oh, that's bad, right? This is going beyond the simple mission.]
I promise, seven o'clock! ...And then, that bastard husband wouldn't be home until eight, right, Grapes?
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[ The tail thumping — is he trying to trip Soleum up and make him laugh? Because it's working. His mouth closes tightly together unevenly to stifle what's oncoming, but after a pointless moment of trying, he gives him a tiny laugh. While brief, it's a sharp enough sound to chip past their pretense. Or, at the very least, his. ] I can hear your tail, but I want to see it too, you know? [ His laughter fades into the receiver, but still somehow manages to warm the space between his last words and his next. The back of his head hits up against the headboard of his bed, both of his knees bent up as he stares out at the floral wall print of his room that Braun seems to hate so much. ] I want to see you. Seven o'clock.
[ Thump, thump, thump, his heartbeat parrots. It comes as a relief with Agent Choi breaks character to share his commentary… He's getting too into this; it's like Soleum is already trapped in the ghost story. ]
That's right. And then at more than a quarter past, he'll apologetically come rushing in. He'll claim that he grabbed something to eat on the way.
[ Soleum can imagine the forced indifference on the waiting wife's face. Could imagine that expression being fixed there from the very moment the promise was made. This husband and wife pair, they're both good liars. ]
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Right, right... But somehow they'll both forgive each other... [He's still murmuring for some reason. Are they still playing pretend? This is akin to stage whispering.] In that drama, even after she found out about the vasectomy, she forgave him because he had such a silver tongue. The kind of guy who knows just what to say to brush off any doubts... Do you think I could manage a role like that?
[He huffs a laugh, just a brief puff of sound.]
Though you could say the wife allows him to lie, too, because it's more convenient to keep up appearances.
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