windfall | unfortunately, like a fool, i said, "it's not like i want to let you go"

unfortunately, like a fool, i said, "it's not like i want to let you go"

( continued from here! )

[ Denji stares up Aki's way, visibly annoyed, as she brooks another crest of colorless smoke invading her senses, slender tendrils ghosting over their heads, nearly transparent in the lamplight. This nicotine-addicted slag. Always with the insults… It means kissing! She kissed them! What other meaning could make out have? Still, she roughly erases what characters she was writing (she'd forgotten midway what the stroke pattern to one kanji was), decorating her report in rubber shavings. ]

I mean, you saw Emi-chan's stuff. A bunch of her dresses and skirts looked kinda itchy, but she had some grown-up outfits in the very, very back!

[ Instead of writing what she took, her pencil draws a series of doodles across the page: some peanut snacks, a bottle of tea looted from the mini fridge, a vial that she kindly labels as pirfume, and then the garment bag. ]

So I took one, since I don't got a whole lotta those. [ Most of her closet is filled with clothes from the secondhand store… and some secondhand straight from Aki's own wardrobe. For example, the tanktop she's wearing under her blouse right now. ] It's gonna make my rack look suuuper sexy on me, and then guys will be linin' up outside our apartment to take me on dates to the zoo and all that!

[ No, Denji doesn't know what the proper attire is for a zoo date. ]

…'course I'm not gonna go, seeing as I'm already taken. But you get the idea. What'd you get?

[ If she's remembering correctly, Aki's hands didn't look as full as her own walking out of the dressing room. Did she not take anything and now she's regretting it? ]

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[Why does she sound so perturbed by the idea? Aki pulls her hands back, watching her rise up and head to the bathroom. She's a teenager, isn't she? Aren't pigtails normal for that age...? Not that she ever wore them, herself, but still... Frowning, she turns back around and reaches for a beer, breaking one free from the plastic rings and snapping it open.]

It's just an idea, if you wanted to... [She raises her voice so Denji can hear her, but eventually trails off. Wanted to what, look more feminine? It'll take more than that. She dresses like a hoodlum and her chest is flatter than you'd expect, since she wears such loose clothing... Calling out again, she adds,] If you stop cutting your hair yourself, it might grow out to a more even length.

[ Pigtails aren't abnormal for a sixteen-year-old, but she's not trying to look her age. She wants to be mature and dependable, but still sexy and cool, but also someone Mister Makima can flirt with when nobody's watching because she's just that irresistible to him. She wants to rock badass steel arms at work, then share a nice dessert with the guy she likes. She wants to look like she has the whole package.

…Which she's loathe to admit, in a way, means that she wants to look a little more like Aki. Is that too much to ask? ]

If I don't cut it, nobody else will unless I cough up some serious dough, [ she hollers back through the open door, snapping an elastic around one cinched part of her hair before moving on to the next. Appearing to miss the point that, if she wants to change how she presents, it may need a little more investment on her end. One that doesn't involve saving up to eat a bunch of beef cutlets.

Denji stares at herself in the mirror, hands curled around the edges of the sink as she leans forward to examine her face. Her hair is whatever, but her skin's creamier at least, the unevenness around her nose and cheeks neutralized by the pigment of the concealer. She can't even make out the pimple.

But despite her satisfaction, she doesn't come out yet. Rather, she shuts the door, turning to look back at the garment bag she'd so happened left inside the bathroom earlier. Unzipping it bares open a silky sheer negligee that Denji immediately smooths a hand over to iron out any wrinkles and gnarls visible to her eye, from the lace bodice to the cool, watery material of the skirt. Being from the closet of a pop idol, it's rather tame in design, though no less luxurious.

To Denji, though, it's nothing more than a beautiful dress.

After about ten minutes, she leaps out of the bathroom with uncontainable excitement, her hands planted at her hips and the hem of her skirt fluttering like a superhero's cape. It should be noted that the chest of the outfit is slightly sagging down Denji's chest from a lack of mass to fill the cups in. ]

Ba-bada-duuum! Hey, hey, hey, so whaddaya think? [ She glances down herself, sheepishly, fiddling with the cord of her starter, trying to keep it from crosswiring with the trusses of the outfit. ] This'll knock Makima right off his feet, yeah?!

Edited 2024-06-16 20:30 (UTC)

[Denji spends her time in the bathroom and Aki, for once, doesn't scold her for it. She drinks her beer and turns on the TV. Ignores the holler about how it's expensive to cut hair. It really isn't, she could argue, because it's a part of grooming. If she had neater hair, maybe people would respect her more, and then maybe she would earn more money, and then maybe she could get more haircuts. ... lWhat is she spending money on, anyway? Aside from the few times she eats out or Aki refuses to buy her smut at the convenience store, it's not like she has many expenses. She watches the droning news and sips her beer, turning a disinterested eye toward the bathroom when she parades out...]

[...only to nearly spit her drink out at what she's wearing.]

You - That's what you took...?! [The shock is obvious, more so than the color that springs up on her cheeks. What the hell does she think, that she can go on a date in that...?!]

You know that's - You dumbass, those are pajamas. [Correcting herself because Denji probably doesn't know what "lingerie" means.] He'll be knocked off his feet, alright - And anyone else who might see you prancing around in underwear. You can't wear that outside!

[ Could be because of Aki actually entertaining her and her jabber for most of the evening, talking her through writing a report, helping her carry things while her hands were full, teaching her how to put this concealer stuff on… But Denji had hoped that when she revealed her big showstopper outfit, she'd hear something — more supportive than this. Something nice.

Denji scowls at the ground. Irritation's an easier emotion to express, to latch on to, than disappointment. ]

Duh, I took it! Emi-chan's rich. [ Or her dad is, anyway. ] She's not gonna miss one lil' dress.

[ Which is what it is. A dress. ]

You're… You're just an old, booze-brained hag! Don't act like you know crap about what's popular with girls my age. I see 'em wearing stuff like this all the time in the streets or — or, like, on TV.

It's not a...

[Before she can finish, Denji is spitting all sorts of insults at her. Old, booze-brained, hag. Each one is a little sharper than the last without actually holding any spice to it. Flustered, Aki knows. But she also pities her a lot.]

[...She'd look beyond stupid, if she showed up like that. Aki gets to her feet, setting her beer down on the table.]

You said you want to look grown up... But that doesn't look grown up on you.

[If anything, it only accentuates that she's still a stupid kid. Aki motions for her, brows drawn and lips flat. Pulling open the door to her bedroom, she heads inside, clearly expecting Denji to follow.]

Come on.

[And inside, she pulls open her closet. Beside the row of uniform shirts and jackets are various casual clothes. And yes, she's taller and wider than Denji, has a larger chest, but surely there's something in here she can wear. She starts digging through the articles, tugging out a few random ones and tossing them out onto her bed. ...And one that she pauses at before flitting past, rolling her eyes. Himeno gave that to her and she never wore it. It was way too small. He never had an eye for fashion, anyway. That's not something she would ever wear.]

[ Continuing to wallow in the injustice of Aki not immediately jumping to pat her ass, she stands there without following for a solid five seconds. The moment she hears a closet open, though, her nosy self is right there sitting on her bed, scouting each piece of clothing that Aki delivers into her orbit. ]

I don't see how your clothes are more grown up than what I've got on.

[ Ignoring that Aki hasn't even given Denji permission to wear any of her clothes yet, she takes turns pressing whatever's nearest to her chest — there's more than plenty she could play with pairing into an outfit unique to her, but it's the sweater that eventually goes over the negligee.

…While the soft knit covers the obscene amount of skin she'd had on display, it noticeably doesn't go with what she's already wearing. Her skirt is also still peeking out from under, the faint curve of her ass visible through the ultra-fine material. Then, she tugs on the long button-up as an extra layer over the sweater, which helps to hide her back, but doubly makes her current attire look overly stuffed. Slipping off the bed to finally snoop inside Aki's closet herself, probably in search of socks or something, she peers past the woman's arms — ]

Ooh, what's that?

[ — and snatches out the very outfit she'd just passed over. She examines it, looking over the blouse from front to back. ]

I've never seen you wear this before.

Being "grown up" isn't about showing more skin, you know.

[But then Denji is getting up and Aki turns her head to hear the squeak of the bedframe. She blinks in surprise at how she's assembled the clothes she tossed on the bed, the multiple layers that make her look so much wider than she is for once, but then her hands are shooting into her closet and yanking that out. Aki grimaces.]

I've never worn it.

[So, that answers that. There's even a clothing tag still on it.]

It was a gift. ...You need a longer skirt, people are going to be able to see your panties in this thing. [She tries to pull down the negligee to cover her ass a little more but it's about as helpful as patting air over the offending area.] This one's too short. You can't wear it to the movies. [Especially since she'll be sitting down.] And take those off, you can't just layer things backwards like that. You're not going to Harajuku.

[ She swats backs the hands that are fussing with her skirt length, sending her a miffed look as she heads back to the bed: ] Why haven't you worn it? You giving me shoddy goods or something?

[ The button-up's drifting off her shoulders, along with the other layers, to make room for trying on the top. It looks fine to her: no gaps in the threading, no weird bent to the delicate trim of the collar, no noticeable defects. Well, even if those things were present, she'd probably still wear it… There are holes in her socks right this second, even. She's not exactly a picky dresser. ]

Look, this one's almost as short as what I've got on! [ Her exclamation's precipitated by the sliding on of the blouse over her gown. The tag bulges at her collar, itching her the back of her neck, but, otherwise, it's a good fit. Aside from her indignation about one little thing — ] How's this more grown up, huh?!

Because your chest isn't sticking out, for one.

[Aki snaps it a little too harshly, frowning at the way Denji pulls the whole thing over the lingerie. How does she not understand that she can't show that much skin...?!]

And this is way less short - look, it goes down to... [She tries to tug on the hem of the skirt a little but ends up simply sliding it down further, huffing as she pulls it back on her hips.] You're so damn skinny - Look, this is way more mature. See how it's not made of silk? This is something you could wear anywhere. The other one's for the bedroom, not a date.

Hey, are you tryin' to cop a feel down there or what?! Harassment, much…

[ Comes her ever-timely swamp of complaints. The constant pulling at the back of her skirt only makes the front of her clothes hug uncomfortably against her bust before returning back into place whenever Aki lets go. It's annoying. ]

So, wait, you're telling me all these things on the bed are what you would wear to impress Mister Makima? These are just what you usually wear most days… Does looking mature really have nothing to do with sex appeal?

[...Are the things she picked out not good enough?]

[Wait, hold on. No. This is Denji. She has no idea what she's talking about. Aki clears her throat, stepping back to let Denji adjust the clothes.]

How many women do you see walking around looking mature and sexy? [She pauses, frowning in thought, trying to think of someone to explain the analogy with.] I mean - You think Makima is hot, but you've only ever seen him in a suit. So it's not always about what you wear, right?

[...What's annoying is that the outfit actually does look cute on Denji. Way better than it would on her. Ugh, and since she's smaller, it's not quite as revealing a hemline... but the neckline of the shirt is a little low. Maybe she can get a tanktop?]

It's better to just... dress casually. You don't want to look like you're trying too hard.

Those models in the magazines —

[ Denji starts to point out after Aki poses her clearly rhetorical question, but she quiets down as she continues on with her explanation, a despairing scrunch deepening her forehead. Her mouth half-open, like she's having her very belief system questioned and dismantled. It's true, though. She really has never seen Makima outside of a suit.

In a gloom, she collapses back-first into the bed, arms spread, its springs creaking as her body weight joins the mountain of clothes. She stares emptily at the ceiling. ]

Man, I don't wanna look like I'm trying too hard… I want Makima to like me. I mean, I know he does. But even more. The kinda 'like' where you just can't get the other person outta your head.

[ Adults like Makima and Aki have other things to think about besides romance, she gets that. She sees the utility bills, how much gets budgeted for groceries each week, the house chores and upkeep, the work matters that get brought home. Is it strange to want something that ruins all that for a person? To color everything in markers from the walls, to the ceiling fan, to the bathroom tiles, all to reserve a single person's attention just for you?

But maybe that's too…

Rolling on her side, she waves Aki over so that she can ask: ] D'ya think it's better if I just go in what I always wear instead of your stuff after all?

[She's so convinced of this... It's not even like she's trying to talk it into existence. She really, truly believes Makima likes her.]

[God, to be so stupid. Aki leans against the head of the bed, looking down at the mess of her clothes. She's going to wrinkle some of them... But she honestly seems down right now, so she won't nag her right now.]

Probably.

[Maybe that was part of why she never wore that outfit Himeno got her. It just wasn't her style at all. Why would she wear something like that...? Is that how he wanted her to be? Fat chance.]

...Wouldn't it be better if the person who liked you still did even if you look like shit?

[They've both seen each other like shit, so Aki feels comfortable commenting on that.]

Even if your face was covered in zits and your clothes were all torn up and shitty... You should find someone who likes you even when you're like that.

[She sounds stilted as she says it. This is such a weird pep talk to give to someone like Denji.]

[ Would it be better? She's doesn't know. The idea just makes her wonder what type of sicko could do that, could see a girl without all the bells and whistles, just flesh hugging close to her bones trying to stomach down the skeleton that should have been tossed, digested with the rest of the garbage and barfed back up into powdery fragments in some junkyard a long, long time ago. Could see that and still desire it.

Her face turns lightly to regard Aki. She pushes herself up on an elbow. ]

…Where do you usually go to find someone like that?

[ Like there's a designated office or store you can buy a person made-to-order that Aki must personally visit. She likes Makima, of course, there's no question about it. She likes that he likes her because she can do something that only she can do. That she's special to him, potentially. But that doesn't keep curiosity from burgeoning inside her, licking at an undying wick that shouldn't even be able to hold a flame anymore.

This is a very weird pep talk. Seems to be working, though. ]

[Where does she... go? For someone like that? Aki doesn't know what she's trying to ask here - If she means how she found the people she's close to, or if she means telling her which bars she's been to that don't have guys she'd rather throw through a wall than take home with her.]

It's not like you can go to one specific place, but...

[But where does she go, where she feels normal and can be herself, can have blood in her hair or guts on her clothes and not worry about being gaped at? Where does she not care how she looks, doesn't put her hair up and just sits around drinking at her own pace?]

...I guess I feel that here. Living with you two.

[Well. Power judges everything they do, but it's not like she especially puts any weight into his words. And Denji - even though they might bicker, she'd probably never laugh at her for wearing mismatched shoes. Probably say something like, "Hey, you do that, too?" There's something relieving in that.]

[ She takes in Aki's casual response, like a fish staring up from the small pond its always swam circles inside, realizing the sky is its own ocean. Her brain burbling on with a glub, glub, glub in substitute of anything intelligent. Coincidentally, also the sound a pot makes when it starts to boil, overheated. ]

Huh. So that counts…

[ Is her own reply, similarly light, as she rolls over to face away from Aki. No force, no violence. And then she rolls over again, then a third time, so that she's completely dropped off the edge of the other side of the bed — thud. Her face rubs unpleasantly into the plywood. That's a good thing, it distracts her from the pained stinging in her cheeks and ears, spreading like an allergic reaction. Ah, she never should have climbed into Aki's bed, what if she's got weird doo-doo pube germs stuck to her pillowcase, and now breathing it in's what's got her head all in a tizzy — ]

Rrrghhh…

[ She presses her forehead in harder, for good measure, likely smudging her concealer in the process before picking herself right up and suddenly declaring: ]

I'm gonna change!

[ Her stomps, so harsh, they make the rest of the floorboards rattle as she departs from Aki's room. ]

[If it were anyone else, watching her fall on the floor face-down and then press said face into the wood would make Aki worry and panic. As it is, however, she's seen Denji do much weirder and more harmful things to herself that only a brief bit of worry creases her brow before she hears Denji make that groaning growl noise. She's ready to ask what is it now when she suddenly rockets up and rushes from the room.]

[...Well, fine. Standing up, she grabs the clothes off her bed and begins hanging them back in the closet.]

[It only takes a minute or so, and once she's done she steps out of her bedroom and heads back to the living room, sitting down to resume drinking her beer. She did think about something, though, while putting everything away...]

You can buy your own clothes now, you know. [She calls that out, looking over her shoulder towards Denji and Power's bedroom.] You don't have to hoard all your money or waste it on crap. There's a middle ground.

[ The clothes she'd shed, the ones she hadn't, and a toilet paper roll all accompany her from the bathroom to her bedroom. Once changed into what Aki would probably, finally, consider proper pajama attire, Denji's sat on the ground rubbing away the makeup from under her eyes with a folded square of tissue she'd spat into. A little regretful to see everything scrubbed off so soon after its application, after asking Aki to do her the favor of showing her the ropes. And then watching her follow through with more commitment than something like this should have warranted.

…What if she promised to take on trash duty? Would she do her makeup again for her actual date, then? Oh, but, wait, shouldn't she actually pay her back for this time before thinking about negotiating a next time? Maybe double trash duty, since she let her try on her clothes?

Hm… Nngh… Mmm…

Aki's voice snaps Denji out of her furious contemplation. On all fours, her head peeks out from the door. ]

I don't waste my money! [ Her head ducks down, one sleeve of her shirt slipping lopsidedly from her shoulder with the movement. ] …It's just hard finding the right, uh, fit. 'sides, I'm still growing, right? Don'tcha think I should wait to get better stuff 'til I'm, like, all the way filled out?

[Until she's filled out...? Aki stares at her strangely. Is that why her clothes seem to barely fit her and are all but falling off all the time? Despite her state of undress, she manages not to look away.]

Do you think that's going to happen overnight or something?

[She must just mean her boobs. It's not like Aki has that impressive of a chest, but still... She did have to buy new bras at some point when she first moved to Tokyo. But for some reason she doubts Denji will have that issue.]

It's not like your clothes will stop fitting just because your boobs grow in. And besides, you don't get too much bigger from what you are at this age.

[Beat.]

Not -- that you need to. [Beat.] You're plenty big enough. [Yeah. Good pep talk.]

You sure? How can ya tell?

[ That hadn't been what Denji meant, the thing about her chest, but she doesn't issue Aki any sort of correction. Just runs with the flow of the conversation, barely noticing the clumsiness dogging the woman's words. Mainly, because, well, she never gets tired of talking about this stuff.

But, also, it could happen overnight! Look at her. She healed from life-threatening wounds and sprouted dangerous weapons from her arms basically overnight, so. ]

There are some dudes that get way taller outta nowhere, though… [ She picks herself up, stopping by the waste bin in the kitchen to toss her makeshift wipes. The remote's there on the counter, so she points at the TV and up goes the daily news report, as always. Joins her at the table shortly afterwards. ] And you — you're sayin' that when you were my age, you had huge milkers like that? No massaging or change in your three square meals at all?

[How can she tell...? Has Denji just never paid attention to herself like that? Never measured herself, looking at herself in the mirror and watched the change happen? ...Probably not, all things considered. Aki slowly sips her beer, thinking - then nearly chokes on it when she speaks again.]

Huge -- Don't say that! [Ugh, talking about tits with Denji was the worst idea.] Don't say "huge milkers" to anyone! Or even think it! They're not even that big!

[Pointing to them, like Denji hasn't seen them before and is basing this off hearsay.] Just because you're too skinny to have anything... Look, I just wanted you to like what you wear for once! And not be stuck in that uniform all the time!

[ Denji's gaze drips downward, clearly dismissing Aki's gesturing hands as she ponders the other woman's chest, the roundness curving through her top. Not so abundant it'd make the buttons strain and stretch against the placket, but if she looks long enough, she can see a tease of skin through the smalls openings in the slit…

Geez, it doesn't even look like she's wearing a push-up bra. ]

…I don't get why you're being nice, since ya seemed pretty against me and my date with Makima at first. [ Her eyes shift away. Upper lip hooking up as she picks at her teeth with a pinky nail, she raises the remote again, swapping the news for some type of shoe or movie. Some couple donned in robes are clinking champagne flutes in their hotel room. ] But I toldja before, remember? I don't do owing people. So we should trade something. Let's say… what I got from Emi-chan for that shirt-dress thing you got from whoever.

[ An exchange of unwanted gifts. Seems fair to Denji. ]

I bet it'd fit you more than me.

[ So she's aware that the sizing wasn't a match and still insisted that it was suitable for the movies… ]

[Aki wants to argue that she really hasn't done anything that special for Denji, has just offered her a dress she doesn't wear and somehow managed to convice her not to wear lingerie in public... But she's so pointed about this kind of thing, arguing feels like a lost cause.]

Alright.

[Aki was definitely closer in size to Emi-chan's bust than Denji, but... Is it really something that agitates her? She slowly turns her gaze to the TV, watching the woman on screen sip from her glass. The neckline of her dress accentuates her chest nicely, the shot framing her so she's front and center as she says something flirtatious to her partner.]

[It's not that she's against the date, she wants to say. Just that this - this very scene on the screen right now - isn't something Denji will ever have with Makima. She should know that. But there's just no convincing her.]

Just have fun. Don't go overboard trying to impress him - Since you aren't impressive, anyway. [Something less serious, her usual style of dry insult.] You're still a kid, so you should enjoy this sort of thing while you can.

[ Alright?

Denji's lips tighten at the corners, holding back on echoing Aki's own words back at her. She's been haggling all her life, has gotten particularly used to it in this household, waging a circular war of chores and favors. Going back-and-forth. Compromising, or promising to compromise and then not. But Aki's really taking the thing off her hands that easily?

So puzzled, Denji misses the woman's partner lean forward and make an obvious innuendo that'd normally have her giggling and rolling on the ground with the seat cushion hugged to her chest — and then she registers the insult. Okay, now that's normal. That's something she knows how to respond to. ]

Pfft, I'm the most impressive person I know.

[ The smug tilt to her lips speaks for itself as she kicks a foot out under the table to pat at Aki's heel. There, there. Third or fourth impressive isn't that bad. Consolatory, almost playful, more along the lines of a puppy nipping at an older dog's tail. She knows she's being a little shit. ]

Don't worry your lil' head off! I'll report back all the fun and important stuff we did when I get home after. [ Because somewhere in the past few hours of being helped and advised in these unfamiliar matters, she's gotten it into her head that Aki may really enjoy hearing how her first not-date went. ] What he was wearing, what kinda popcorn we ordered, if our hands touched at the same time reaching into the bucket…

[ Already, it's sounding more detailed than the reports she has to do for her actual job. ]

[Denji isn't the most impressive person anyone knows. Maybe in terms of being half-devil, but isn't that only because her only competition are all probably dead? ...Maybe, at least? Like that sword lady and the bomb guy. ...Huh, what about all that, anyway? She was kind of despondant after all that bomb stuff, wasn't she? But now...]

[...She doesn't want to bring it up. Doesn't want to make ripples in still water. She seems happy right now, bragging about her date with a guy who obviously sees her more as a dog than a potential love match, so why ruin it? Aki just nods and reachs for the remote to turn the channel back to the news.]

I've never seen him in anything but his uniform. [She's being a little nicer now, for some reason. No longer arguing about it, not trying to voice her dissent about it being a date or not. It doesn't really matter, in the end.]

[When it's later and she trades over the outfit to her, still new with tags, Aki takes the lingerie in turn and studies it with a frown in the bathroom mirror. Her hair pulled down and resting damp on her back, she holds the red gown up to her chest and gauges the length on her body. It definitely looks shorter on herself than Denji, probably thanks to her extra inches she has on the kid, but when she finally pulls it on and fits the straps over her shoulders, she's surprised to find... it's actually way too small for her. Her breasts aren't anything to write home about, sure, but this outfit actually makes her look two sizes over her usual. Feeling her face flush just looking at her reflection, she turns to see herself from the side and reaches to tug the fabric over her ass. It barely reaches her thighs.]

She was going to wear this out... [She mutters under her breath, annoyed. What would she do without her? Probably die in a ditch or something. While looking utterly ridiculous to boot.]

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