windfall | what i desire most, what i fear most

--You're not staying here tonight. I'll take you back in a minute.

[Angel looks a little put out by that, but it's not something he didn't expect, either. He reaches up to snag an ice cream cone off the tower as Aki hears the rest of what Denji said.]

...You didn't have to do all that for me. [He has this weird desire to pat him on his head or something, but he tells himself it's because his hair looks so messy right now. Why did he have it up, anyway?] Tonight's... I just had some bad memories crop up.

[It's Himeno's birthday and he forgot until he looked at the calendar when he got home. Then felt like a complete asshole for not taking a beer to her grave before it got late. Maybe he'll bring one of these surely non-alcoholic ones later.]

Sorry if I worried you. But... thanks.

[Even Angel looks content with that response.]

Edited (html) 2023-10-12 03:15 (UTC)

[ He considers repeating, not for the first time tonight, that he wasn't worried. Isn't worried now, either. But then Angel's insulting him, Aki's thanking him, and Denji's cheeks are burning from the effort to not to do something stupid and out of character, like grinning, gross and gratuitously, thinking about everything that had to go wrong tonight to make the one thing he wanted go right. Before he can talk himself out of it, though, his hand lifts to Aki's hairline, stroking down a few licks of hairs that are standing on end, tickling his palms as he smooths them down. Bed hair always looks so funny on Aki. Even once his hair is all flattened, Denji continues the repetition of patting his head just a while longer — until he realizes how this must look, and his arm shoots back. ]

— Uhhh, that was his idea! [ His thumb jerks at Angel. ] Not mine.

[ Denji pauses. Angel… What a weird devil. He counseled him on how to help Aki, agreed to meet him, saved his life sorta… all to mooch some ice cream and cake? Nah, there's no way. It's annoying, but he probably owes the guy. ]

Do you have to take him back…? It was so much trouble breaking him out! [ Actually, all Denji did was stand outside as Angel broke himself out. He doesn't mention that. ] That's like refunding a gift you didn't like right in front of me! …And, anyway, he thinks I'm yucky, but he still came with me to cheer you up. You can't just send him back to bed. That's messed up.

[Denji mussing at his hair when he's too tired to do anything about it is annoying for two reasons. One, because it's Denji, and two, because he can feel Angel watching them like this is a variety hour. He swats Denji's hand away before he can stop on his own, but it seems like it happens at the same moment he realizes how it looks.]

[But at the news that half of these things were actually Angel's idea... Probably, he tells himself, it's things Angel would like, himself, since he can see it's mainly food. Surprising there's no udon on there, too. But now Denji is begging to let him sleep over and how he broke him out and - He broke him out?!]

You broke him out? [What does that even entail? It's only really then that he takes into account that Angel is dressed like he literally got dragged out of bed (at least he took off the pants scarf) and also in socks that look like they traipsed through the city streets (they did). Angel makes sure to speak up and explain he broke himself out but that's somehow even worse judging by the way Aki's face falls.] You two... You can't do things like that, I'm going to be the one who has to answer for the both of you.

[Angel doesn't seem to see this as an issue he needs to worry about. Aki sighs, reaching out to dust off a piece of dirt from Angel's sleeve. Unlike when Denji touched him, he doesn't really react to that.]

You should at least change, before you go back - Denji, lend him some clothes. [There's no way they're similar in size but it's better than Aki's. Angel, however, looks disgusted by this idea and quickly says, No way, no way. They'll be covered in God-knows-what.]

[ While the swat of Aki's hand does puncture a hole in Denji's buoyancy, as does how naturally he reaches for the slighter devil immediately, neither of those things are what ultimately brings him down. ]

My clothes? But — they're mine!

[ At the same time that Angel's protests jump out, so do Denji's, his voice rising with incredulity, in spite of the warning he received earlier. So what if Powy gets into his laundry all the time. That's Powy, that's different from sharing his things with another guy. It's also different when he's being demanded to by Aki. Then again, is the alternative that Aki share his stuff with him? Because he also doesn't like that idea very much.

Denji eyes Angel, the sweet exhilaration of doing something praiseworthy having capsized, like how a leaking boat at max capacity might, coldly sinking to the bed of his stomach. His gaze switches to Aki, briefly, hoping a little that he'll have a change of heart, remember all the nice things he's done for him this evening and say, "Actually, it's perfectly fine that Angel is covered in street dirt."

When that doesn't happen, he slinks off to his bedroom, mumbling something about how his clothes aren't covered in anything and that he did his laundry yesterday like he was supposed to. After a couple minutes, he comes out with… a pink knitted sweater, red shorts embroidered with a little impish devil in the corner (think

), and striped socks. These are absolutely not Denji's clothes. ]

Umm, I did Power's laundry yesterday, too. I think he'd probably fit into her stuff.

[When Denji wanders back out with the clothes, Aki has turned on the lights to the kitchen and is pouring some water into a glass - Angel's request, since he had to walk so far tonight and for what. To get whined at by a half devil. Angel, himself, raises his eyebrows high at the clothes he comes out with which Aki doesn't see immediately due to being in the kitchen proper. Angel reaches out to take them, looking each one over with slightly raised eyebrows. When Aki finally realizes what he's brought out, he opens his mouth to snap at Denji that he obviously can't wear something so feminine, but Angel speaks up first.]

Is this the kind of stuff you wear on your days off?

[He's sort of teasing Denji now, but it's still his neutral tone without any emotion. The sweater, at the very least, is more than passable, so he drops the other two items on the ground and slips that on over his head as Aki starts to say something about how Denji needs to get him something more proper. As he pulls his arms through the sleeves he looks over himself. His hair, he tugs out of the collar of the shirt but his wings are stuck below it, giving him what looks like a large hunchback if not for the feathers spilling out from below the hem. Thanks to the hump in the back, the rest of it fits him somehow and doesn't bunch or seem too long on him. He turns slightly in the sweater, then looks at Denji with the same raised brows.]

You wanted me to wear this? [For you being the unsaid but implied words. More slight teasing. Aki just sighs and mutters something about finding him some clothes in his room.]

[ It looks better on him than on Power.

Denji's expression cools. Well, it's as cool as someone so used to thinking with that furnace he has for a head can manage under the weight of Angel's stare. Which is weird, annoying, unnerving, discerning — but most of all, it's confusingly provocative.

And he can feel it on him as he moves to pick up the articles of clothing he'd discarded. ]

No.

[ One answer for both his questions. It comes out quiet, as if Angel had scorned him instead of indulged him. Denji wanted to keep his clothes for himself. He wanted Aki not to have to share his. He wanted to embarrass Angel a bit, like a schoolyard bully trying to show the new kid where he stands on the food chain. Why the hell would he want to see the way Angel's hair pulled free from that wrinkled shirt collar, usually so unkempt, yet for a second bunched up elegantly in his dumb baby hands, revealing the slim slide of his nape?

He doesn't really want to leave the two of them alone for long, so instead of tossing the clothes back inside his room, Denji balls the them up. Stuffs them between the toaster and the rice cooker. Then, he moves to dismantle the tower he'd painstakingly put together, aiming to withdraw one of the beers he'd arranged at the foundation, nearly punching Aki with the way he shoves it at him whenever he returns. ]

Hey, I picked these out! Have one!

[ He put a lot of thought into choosing his favorites. ]

[It's pretty clear that Chainsaw is displeased about something, though Angel isn't sure with what. Unfortunately for him, no one's ever been able to really bully someone who cares so little as Angel. The sweater's actually pretty comfy, though. His wings flutter and pull against the collar as he tries to manuever them out of it but Aki tells him not to, that he'll stretch it out, to just give him a minute and he'll find him something else - and then Denji is shoving the surely non-alcoholic beer at him and he looks down at it, surprised.]

Yeah, those were hard to get. [Angel speaks up as Aki looks at it closer, now in the lit-up kitchen, and just as he begins to realize this is actual alcoholic beer, his eyes shooting to Denji with the very clear look he gets pre-scolding, Angel continues,] I showed them my ID card and they let me buy it. Since I'm probably way older than all of you combined.

[Aki looks at him like he wants to rebut this, that it clearly can't be the case, but Angel is instead looking at Denji, a sort of, Don't fuck that up, okay? as he works at pulling the back of the sweater over his wings. He should really just cut holes in it or something.]

But Chainsaw-kun said this is the kind that you like to drink. So he picked it out. I thought they all tasted the same.

Y-Yeah! [ Denji agrees without a hitch of hesitation, receiving Angel's silent messaging through wide eyes, then swiveling around to furiously nod at Aki. ] It'll go really good with the ice cream! And the cake!

[ He digs out each from the pile as he names them in rapid succession, as well as plates and utensils, feeling a little crazed, a little unmoored, in his eagerness. He isn't sure why, and he definitely doesn't want to poke too deeply through that can of worms. The only thing he knows is that maybe this is like a sorta truce from Angel, an assurance that he isn't trying to encroach on anything of his in this delicate ecosystem he's made a home of, that the food in the fridge is still his, his shirts still belong to him, and the people here…

They'll stay the same, too.

Denji doesn't take that the gesture for granted, even though no less than a minute ago, he was unsuccessfully trying to posture and peacock. ]

So… you're welcome, [ he ends on, after plating some of the food. The ice cream is looking sad and half-melted, but whatever, it's still Aki's preferred flavor, right? That's what matters. ]

[Aki still doesn't quite look like he believes this whole thing about Angel using his ID but he can't figure out how else they would have done this. He doesn't think Denji would steal this much stuff... Would he steal anything, anyway? He seems pretty happy with his current ability to earn a salary and it's not like he has finances to keep track of... He'll have to work this out later.]

[But since he only made a plate for Aki, as if he's somehow the target of all of this or something, Angel starts none-too-inconspicuously unboxing the skewers they got before, since they were good and he'd like some more now, thanks. If he's going to be eating, it seems like enough to allow Aki to accept the plate of various sweets and even though he thinks it'll give him a stomach ache in the morning... He accepts it along with the beer, finally telling him, You should have something, too. I can't eat all of this.]

So, if I was gonna stay the night... [Angel slowly slides down the edge of the counter to take a seat on the ground, taking the balled-up shorts and socks with him that he grabbed from beside the toaster.] Where would I sleep?

Oh, yeah…

[ A quick look Aki's way, in case he's got a superfluous and fussy opinion on the prospects of Angel staying here, but he seems to be chewing, so Denji carries on with a reach for one of the jam jars. Blueberry. ]

The floor in front of the TV is comfy. [ The lid to the jar is suctioned on there tight. Annoying. He takes one of the spoons he brought out for everyone earlier to twist the tip under the edge. ] Plus, ah — [ There goes the spoon, dropping to the countertop, then off it to the ground, with a clatter. But it seems to have done the trick because the lid comes off. Head reclined, Denji tilts the jar toward his mouth, just barely avoiding putting his lips around the edge to allow a few slops of the jam to fall in. He licks his lips, as well as some droplets of the stuff that have erred down his fingers. ] You can fall asleep while watching movies and stuff. Those naps are the best. I do it all the time.

[ Also, though he can usually tell by the heaviness of the footsteps, who's home and who's not, he kinda likes being nearby and waking up to see Aki slide into his room. Sometimes he'll even nudge him awake and tell him to move to his proper bed. ]

[Aki still doesn't seem like he's keen on the idea of Angel staying the night, even if he went out and did all this with Denji of his own volition (honestly he's still surprised about that). In the meantime as Denji considers where he can sleep and comes up with the floor in front of the TV while drinking jam like it's some kind of soda... Angel looks between him doing that and Aki taking a drink from his own can of beer and thinks this household isn't so different from one another as he thought.]

[Still.]

I don't wanna sleep on the floor. Even my cell has a bed. [It's more like a cot but it's still off the ground.] ...Should you really be eating it like that, anyway?

[That clues Aki in to look at Denji and see him with the jar of jam and... Right. "Don't drink it like a soda," he tells him, like he doesn't let him do that all the time. "And he can... I don't know... Can't you and Power fit in one bed for the night?" Power sleeps pretty much on top of him anyway, right...?]

[ He was just taste-testing! He didn't even drink that much from the jar, there's plenty leftover. Denji makes an annoyed sound, half-tempted to knock back the rest of the jam instead of sliding the lid back into place the way he is. The only reason he doesn't do precisely that is because he doesn't need to be contracted with Future to foresee himself dripping jam and juice all over the ground where Angel is still sitting. He already did Power's laundry once this week, he doesn't need to be guilted by her in doing it again. ]

That's fine, I guess. I'll text her to watch her step so she doesn't, y'know, step on his face when she walks in. [ He wiggles a hand out to Angel, a silent prompting for him to pass one of the skewers. ] You don't snore, do you?

[ Denji does. So does Power. Good luck. ]

[Angel still looks displeased with this situation, though he gives up one of the remaining kebabs to Denji.]

They'll end up touching me in the middle of the night. [His gaze goes up to Aki instead.] Don't you have space?

[Aki raises his eyes to the ceiling, like he's trying really hard to figure out a way to shut him down, but... He does have an extra mattress pad that could pass as a futon, so it could work... Angel seems to key in that this is Aki losing the ability to deny him and begins stripping his socks off.] Good, then I'll sleep in there, instead. You smell more normal, anyway.

[Is that a complement... Aki isn't sure. He doesn't deny Angel the right to sleep in his bedroom, but he doesn't look thrilled about it, either. But Angel points out,] I thought he said I was supposed to make you stop crying. [To which Aki points out, "I'm not crying," but the point is still made.]

[ A smile briefly surges to his face when he receives the meat skewer only to promptly hook downward again at the movement of this conversation. They're going to share a room? And he's being called smelly out of nowhere?

Denji takes a bath everyday, he does his laundry like he's supposed to, he remembers to wear shoes when he knows he's going to be walking outside, yet Aki's never invited him to sleep on his futon. He has his own room and he doesn't even like the douchebag, but still…

Sniffing at the inside of his collar, the line of his brow furrows as he follows their fluid exchange. How easy it is. How Aki already looks a little brighter than before. He can't help but think to himself a second time: But still. ]

But you were…

[ Crying, that is. He's mumbling around the meat in his mouth, not really trying to be heard at this point. He takes another bite, then another. The skewer was better when it was fresh and hot off the grill. Ah, well. It's still food, and it's still something better to have in his stomach than the strange pit that's sunken in there. He tosses the empty stick into the trash. Moves to the sink to rinse his fingers.

He only pipes up again once the faucet is turned on, as if he feels more comfortable speaking having some background noise overlaid his voice. That way he can't hear the nerves teetering in the way he talks. ]

Are… you two really gonna sleep in the same room? Isn't that kinda naughty?

[Aki is in the middle of asking Angel why he left the bureau without shoes on as he works to pull Power's socks onto his feet, the size fitting him pretty well - though they're socks so it's not too difficult. When Denji speaks over the rush of water, however, Aki looks at him with an annoyed stare, flatly stating, "Of course it's not," while Angel tilts his head at him.]

Is it less naughty if I slept in your room?

[What a weird thought process. Is it because they're buddies? But Denji and Power are buddies and they sleep in the same room... Hmm. He purses his lips, something clicking silently behind his eyes. He was fine with him in his room, but not fine with him in Aki Hayakawa's room...]

...But if this is a sleepover, spending the night alone in this human's room sounds kind of boring. Since he'll probably just fall asleep.

["As opposed to doing what?" Aki asks, but Angel only shrugs, staring at Denji almost expectantly.]

[ Low-hanging fruit. Angel doesn't even need to look at him to plant the seed. ]

That's —

[ A breakneck flick to the handle forces the gush of water to come to an acute stop. Denji whirls around, Eureka! scored into the wide open exuberance that pulls his mouth open, like the words can't leave his throat fast enough. It's way too late to be this energetic, to be this easy to read. ]

That's right, Aki's suuuper boring! In his spare time, he reads the newspaper and, y'know, bird watches and stuff. [ Now he's just making things up. ] Like get a hobby, right? [ One of Denji's favorite hobbies is watching the news solely because the news anchor is hot. But this ain't about that. And he's already on a roll, toweling off his hands to tuck some of the snacks into his arms as he marches into Aki's bedroom. ] That's why I should come along!

Hey, don't bring food into my room!

[Aki is hurrying after Denji the moment he starts to gather things and passes him with them toward the door.]

And I don't birdwatch, anyway - Sitting outside is relaxing!

[Angel slowly maneuvers himself onto his feet, now clad in Power's socks, but takes the moment to pull the sweater off his wings so he can flex them. They were way too bunched up in that position. Following them after they're already gathered inside, he looks like someone who put a sweater on after putting on a backpack, the fabric bunched between his neck and his wings as he stands in the doorway. Aki sighs and opens his closet.]

You can use one of these, just take that off. Here. [He offers out a zippered sweatshirt that he can wear on his front, which Angel accepts as he pulls off Power's sweater.] I don't want you cutting holes in anything. And Denji - Don't leave any wrappers on the bedding, and eat over a plate so you don't spill crumbs.

[Seems like he didn't take long to accept Denji's terms. Angel squats down next to him to get at the food.]

Yeah, yeah! I know… [ To Angel: ] Geez, does that mouth do anything other than complain?

[ Seeing Power's sweater go unused now, he claims it for himself. Shoves his arms through the sleeves to keep himself warm, but not putting it on all the way, just letting the fabric hang there on his chest. It's not as if Aki's gonna be offering him a sweatshirt so he'll just resource his bib elsewhere. Unlike with the jam, he can just shake the crumbs off!

The plain bread, beer, all that's left of the ice cream, and probably whatever other snacks that had already laying on the counter gets arranged on the sheets. Weirdly enough, he also brought in the frying pan and tissues. Oh, and the sponge cake — Denji divides that three ways into slightly off proportions, but whatever. It's cake! He seriously doubts anyone is going to fight him on he eye-balled his cuts. If Power were here, she probably would, though. ]

Hey, we should play a card game or something! [ That feels like something you'd do at a sleepover, right? ] I bet the jerk has some hiding around here. Lemme see…

[ He's just gonna crawl over and open a few drawers here and there. Maybe he'll even find his porn stash? That'd be fun. ]

[Denji doesn't get far. His fingers go around the edge of the drawer to his night stand and Aki nearly kicks it shut with how hard he stomps his foot against the edge of the drawer, glaring at him.]

Don't go around opening people's things without asking. There are cards in the living room, if you want them that bad.

[But the suddenness of his movement has roused Angel's interest, and once he successfully scares Denji away from there, either by force or by enough grousing, it leaves the area open for Angel as he redirects him toward the living room while asking if Denji even knows how to play any card games. Angel pulls the drawer open and looks inside, then very loudly says,] Huhhh. I see.

[Aki has his palm slamming the drawer shut again before either of them can blink. He would have the fox eat them both if he was able to right now.]

[ Denji whines can be heard from the living room about how he so too knows how to play card games, that he's watched plenty of yakuza play Oicho-Kabu, though they probably wouldn't have the type of deck needed for something like that. He also knows different dice games, too, if they have any and that Aki shouldn't judge a book by its cover! Never mind that all the games he knows are just from street gambling rings…

But anyway, when Aki suddenly wheels back inside his room, Denji is hot on his feet, a deck of standard playing cards in his hands, to find out what's going on. He immediately clocks Angel is sitting in front of the very same drawer he'd been trying to investigate and nearly jumps for joy. ]

Ehhhhh! What is it? [ He hops on Aki's bed to land by Angel's side with an oomph. ] What'd you see? I wanna see, I wanna see!

[Angel almost cringes away from him when he gets so close. Honestly, at this point it's not even due to not wanting to touch him, he just hates having his personal space invaded by a guy like Denji. He's so active and jumpy, he's just like a dog.]

I saw lotion. [Aki shoots him a look, standing up to his full height and glaring at them both. Lotion is a completely normal thing to have by your bed. His hands get dry in the winter, okay.] And I think I saw diaries.

["--Those aren't diaries!" Aki snaps suddenly, looking almost horrified at the assumption. But of course that only prompts Angel to ask,] Then what are they?

[Aki looks beyond frustrated with clear embarrassment as he stares at them both, two faces primed to mock him if it's something worth it. He could lie, sure, but then what if Denji goes digging again? Ughhh.]

...Baby year books. [He mutters it. Deeply frustrated, deeply embarrassed.] Like - Those things parents keep to document a baby growing up. You know. Nothing special.

[He keeps most of the few keepsakes he has from back home in there but those... those have photos in them. And he knows there's photos of him in there as a baby. And he definitely doesn't want Denji to go digging.]

I don't want you to get your sticky fingers on them - So don't dig through my shit, and play your yakuza card games instead.

[Angel mutters something about babies being gross.]

Babies are weird, [ Denji agrees. They fought one not too long ago. That Typhoon devil, the way it sheared through buildings and streets and people with its pudgy legs, infant cry, and cyclonic brain fats still a vivid memory. How Reze could cooperate with something like that is beyond him. ]

But I still wanna see. [ Because saying it two times before wasn't enough. Despite his persistence, though, he doesn't reach for the drawer again, his legs kicking back-and-forth off the side of Aki's bed. ] And I'm sure your bird buddy here wants to see, too! [ Angel just said babies were gross… ]

I didn't know parents were s'posed to keep stuff like that. Does it have pictures of, like, you in diapers? Eating worms? Shoving a crayon up your nose? That why you're all shy about it?

[ Obviously, Denji doesn't have his own baby books to speak of, so he wouldn't know what exactly is documented inside. It's probably why he shows the same interest in them as he would if Angel discovered a secret pile of adult erotica. ]

[At nearly the same time as Angel says, "I'm not a bird", Aki tells Denji, ] He's not a bird.

[There's a brief pause as they recognize that they spoke at the same time, but Aki is the one who continues.] It's not interesting. It's things like... Weights, and milestones. You know... There's nothing like childhood in there, only infancy. You know that's different, don't you? You won't find it interesting.

[Angel has seemed to catch on that this isn't something Aki is keen on them looking through, but he also knows the ins and outs of Aki's neuroses a little bit better than Denji, on account of the whole dying thing, he thinks. He tilts his head to the side as Aki tries to make the contents sound as boring as possible, aware there must be more to it that he isn't saying. To him, it feels pretty obvious, but Denji... He turns his head to the side and sighs.]

I don't want to look at something boring like that. I'm thirsty. I want something to drink.

[Aki tells him to get something, himself, but Angel only sighs again, more dramatic, dropping his chin onto his knees.] I hope I die of thirst like this. I - [And Aki interrupts, "Alright, I get it, I get it - shut up, before I kick you out." Then points at Denji, saying, "Don't you dare open that up," as he leaves the door open to go to the kitchen.]

[There's a small beat of silence once he's gone. Angel won't stop Denji if he opens the drawer, but he speaks up either way.]

...Chainsaw-kun, you know he doesn't want you to see him like that, right?

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