windfall | what i desire most, what i fear most

Shut up.

[Aki speaks sternly and sharply when Denji suddenly starts screaming his apology to their neighbor. Another victim that he'll have to apologize to tomorrow morning. Then he sighs, gathering the cards to shuffle.]

It's different when you can't count cards, huh. [Calling Angel a cheater when the guy is barely even trying, when Denji was the one actually cheating...] You don't have to tell a story if you don't want to, I don't care. We'll do one more and be finished for the night. I'm tired of listening to you two complain.

[Angel gives Denji a look that either says You see? or Sheesh. It's not quite clear if he's blaming him for the soured mood or commiserating, given it's pretty much equally their fault.]

You're going to have to clean up in here, though, regardless.

What?!

[ Oh, that was still kinda loud — Denji flinches his head back, a conditioned response from all the times Aki's thwacked his head. Subsequently, in a more lowered volume, that's… honestly, not that much quieter: ] No! Obviously, I gotta tell a story — those are the rules! I'll just… I'll tell a shorter one.

[ But which shorter one? And is it even possible for Denji to condense himself while speaking? He isn't too sure himself, half a brow arches as he stares off to the side, humming for a long while. He scratches his neck. Twiddles with a loose thread budding from one of the seams of the sheets. After making them wait an annoying amount of time, he casually reveals his next story. ]

Well, one time, I imagined your buddy wearing, like, a bikini thing in a dream. That was embarrassing.

[ There, short and sweet. Omitting the fact that it was less of a dream and more of an outright fantasy.

…He's planning on leaving it at that, but a beat passes, and he realizes how incriminating that sounds. So hastily, he turns to Angel. ]

But it was just one time! And I wasn't sure whether you were a girl or a guy back then. Plus, there were lots of other people in the dream, too.

[Denji just keeps talking while Angel and Aki openly stare at him. Angel looks something like curious, as if Denji suddenly has his femur jutting out of his skin and he's observing his reaction, while Aki looks both disgusted with him and - not embarrassed. He's not embarrassed at all. A bikini? What the hell??? Denji's never even seen Angel naked, how could he imagine him in a bikini? Not that Aki is thinking about the times he's seen him naked, standing in the shower staring down at him while he sprays him with the showerhead to loosen the devil guts from his hair, red falling from red, his halo lit like a - ]

What the hell is wrong with you...?

[If he scolds Denji he won't have the mental capacity to imagine a bikini on anyone. Right. He's figured this out.]

What kind of messed up dreams do you have where you imagine other people in revealing clothing? Are you crazy?

[Before he can get much further from the image, however, Angel speaks up and asks, "What kind of bikini?" Aki jerks to look at him like he just took his top off to reveal he had one on the whole time or something (no, he's not imagining that!!). Why is he suddenly interested in this line of discussion?!]

W-What?! Piss off! Nothin's wrong with my dreams!

[ His face heats, the flight from indifference to enraged a short one as soon as Aki opens his mouth. He was playing by the rules. He did things the right way, and he's still getting told off for it…? Plus, what's with that weirdly keen look in his eyes, behind all that repulsion — Aki's refocuses his attention elsewhere, then, and another twinge of annoyance spikes up Denji's neck, his jaw grinding. This jerk…

He folds his legs up so that he can duck rest his chin between his knees. Sulking a little. It was just a dream. All people, not even just guys, can have those types. It's normal. …Right? Ah, maybe he should ask Makima —

Angel asks him a question and Denji's eyes lift, warily. ]

It was like, uh, the frilly kind… Pretty stuff only girls wear. And, I'unno… You had on these really long socks? Sockings? Stockings? Whatever, they were a part of this, like, full-body bra thing. I remember there were bows on 'em. And they were see-through.

[ What Denji's describing is less of a traditional bikini and more like a luxury basque set. Obviously, he doesn't know that, though. ]

[That doesn't sound like a bikini. Aren't bikinis for swimming? You wouldn't wear socks when you go swimming. Angel looks kind of interested in the image that Denji's supposed subconscious created while Aki looks even more mortified than before, his eyes wide as he stares at Denji in disbelief.]

You really dreamed of something like that?

[He's been mistaken for a woman enough times before but it never really bothered him, personally. Angel isn't the sort to care for how people perceive him. But Denji having such a vivid, sexual dream about him... That, he's never experienced, to his knowledge. Does he have those about other devils?]

Did you do anything with the me in your dream? [And Aki finally intejects, "I don't want to know that! Don't ask him that!" Angel looks a little put out, staring across at him with a frown.] I'm curious. I never hear anything about anyone else's dreams.

[ Being faced in concert with the heat of Aki's disdain and the coolness of Angel's interest has Denji fenced in between two very, very hard places. He doesn't exactly want to peeve his housemate any further than he already has, especially when he seems set on punishing him tomorrow for his other transgressions. It'd be annoying if he heaped more crap on top of that. On the other hand, though, it's kind of a rare occasion for Angel to wanna know more about… anything. Let alone anything involving Denji.

In the end, Denji averts his gaze away from them both, scratching an itch behind his ear. ]

I just brushed your hair and helped you take off your socks. That's it. [ His eyes pointedly rush to look at Aki's, insistently, as his brows push together. Like a Shiba Inu when they're aware they've acted out. ] I didn't do anything bad!

[ He doesn't mention the way Angel led his hands to the garters of his stockings, staring expectantly at him to unclasp the hooks, the way his gaze shook when he rubbed the underside of his knee, then peeled the sheer garments down. Definitely doesn't mention that Aki was there, too, but that was a different part of the dream entirely. ]

[Brushed his hair and took his socks off... Angel's expression falls, now looking slightly annoyed as he sighs.]

Even in your dreams you're touching me without asking. Don't you know by now I don't want you to touch me?

[At this, Aki's eyes nearly bug out of his head as he looks at Denji, jaw agape. "What do you mean, touching him? Why are you trying to touch him?!" But Angel interrupts before he can continue his freak out.] I told him not to. I keep telling him not to, but he keeps bumping my shoulder and grabbing my arm and stuff. It's so annoying. [Aki stares at Denji in horror, like Angel just calmly explained how Denji has been playing Russian roulette every night with a loaded gun. To him, it's the same thing.]

I'on't get it.

[ He says, quietly. It's starting to get warm in here, so he begins to remove his arms from Power's sweater.

Gives him something to do as he ponders what the hell's with this reception. Russian roulette, blackjack, whatever — he doesn't want to play this game anymore. Not if they're both just gonna keep ganging up on him like this. Feeling the need to defend himself, though, and thus, keep giving them rope to wrap around his neck, Denji grumbles on. ]

None of that stuff means anything, right?! Ain't like I'm tryna flirt with you. [ And one more thing he can't forget: ] Anyway, I did stop! I haven't done any of that stuff you said I did in like…

[ Maybe an hour. ]

A long time!

[A long time...? It's been like an hour, how does he think that kind of lie would pass? Angel stares at him, considering saying something about how he was grabbing him in the kitchen, but before he can decide, Aki speaks up.]

Alright, enough, already. I don't want to hear anything else about your weird dreams. Just don't try and touch him from now on. Got it?

[Partially it's for Denji's safety. Aki has no desire to find out if Angel's touch works on him or not with his whole perpetual motion machine thing and certainly has no desire to find out tonight. But he also just doesn't really want to find out if he can touch him. If he's able to when no one else is. He pats the cards and pushes them toward Denji.]

There's one more round, right? Finish things off, I'll let you deal this last one. [Hopefully he'll stop pouting if he gives him that.]

…Yeah, well, don't mind if I do.

[ While he attempts to maintain indifference, he's just not as skilled at it as either of his fellow players — the pittance Aki gives him lightens his expression a level or two, immediately. His mouth even clamps tight and thin, like he's barely withholding the urge to do something goofy, like smile, for whatever inexplicable reason.

He slides the rest of the deck fully to his end, picking it up as he begins mixing the cards. This time around, Denji doesn't try to pull any fast ones on them. He doesn't count the cards, doesn't mark or fold any of the corners, and he doesn't try steal any glances. It's the last round. At this point, whoever wins, wins. Whoever loses, loses.

The cards get distributed.

Denji takes one look at his hand and — ah. He flips them over to show off a lucky 21. Right off the bat, there's no beating that hand. ]

Edited 2023-11-21 04:08 (UTC)

[He's seriously so easy to win over. Aki tries his best not to roll his eyes as he takes his own cards, studying them as the game progresses. He can't tell if Angel is even trying to play, but when they're turning the cards over, he scoffs at his hand first - a 21, really? Then looks at Denji's and does a double take.]

How the hell did you two get the same hand?

[Literally the same, aside from the suits, of course. Aki stares at them in obvious confusion. Did Denji cheat? Did Angel? No, Angel definitely wouldn't put effort into that. What the hell? He sets his cards down with a light groan, rubbing his forehead. Regardless, he's lost, only getting a seventeen. Himeno always told him he plays too safe with these games. He rubs his head and sits back.]

...Seriously, I don't know. You've both seen me look like an idiot plenty of times, isn't that enough?

[As in, does he have to share some kind of embarrassing story? Angel's seen him fall flat on his face and Denji has left him rolled over in an alley after kicking him in the balls enough to affect his would-be heirs. Not that he plans on having any of those. But Angel shakes his head - "Even I thought of something embarrassing that neither of you knew about." Aki wants to argue that what he shared wasn't actually that embarrassing, more of a vague faux pas than anything, but...]

[Ugh. He hates when he stares at him like that. Like a spouse silently chastising another. Aki sets his jaw and thinks. Thinks of something far back enough that he can laugh about it now instead of getting red in the face.]

...Fine.

[He's not pouting or anything. It's just late, and he's tired. These two crashed his pity party, he's allowed to be a little put out.]

When I first enrolled in Public Safety... I stayed with Master Kishibe for a few weeks for basic training. And after he beat the shit out of me, he told me he'd give me the rest of the day off. So I went to take a shower, and he stole my clothes, then ambushed me when I came out looking for a towel and beat the shit out of me again. And told me, "devils don't give you days off."

[He still very vividly remembers rolled over nude in the training hall, laying in a puddle of water and blood. But Angel's expression says what he won't actually voice: That's not embarrassing, that's just stupid.]

Whiskers has been pullin' the same trick that long, huh… [ There's a joke in there about old dogs, new tricks, et cetera, but Denji's not gonna be the one to say it. ] Such an a-hole.

[ In contrast to Angel, the draw of Denji's brows has a more thoughtful cant. It's certainly interesting intel. He never knew those two went so far back, but it makes sense in a way — the knots of their ties always did look kinda similar to him. In the back of his mind, he makes a note to ask him what the inside of Kishibe's bachelor pad is like, whether he actually sleeps in a bed of empty scotch bottles like what he and Power have been suspecting for the longest time. ]

What, so that's embarrassing for you? [ Their game pretty much done with, he begins to slide off the bed, gathering the cards into one big pile to be formed back into a deck. When Kishibe brained him between the eyes with his knife that one time during training, that hadn't really been humiliating, so much as a pain to his back joints from waking up after spending a few hours dead on the walkway. ] C'mon, dude, you don't have anything juicier up your sleeve? Nobody ever pants'd you in front'a Miss Makima? 'cause I think someone should one of these days.

[ How ominous.

That aside, Denji's idea of juicy is rather juvenile! He'd take anything else, so long as it's a bit more scandalous… ]

[That's not embarrassing?? Getting jumped when you're nude by a guy twice your age isn't embarrassing?! It was worse than just getting beat up, he was naked!]

[...But slowly Aki's expression cools with recognition of who he's talking to: Angel has almost no body shame whatsoever and Denji has walked from his room to the bath completely nude when he forgot something on more than one occasion. Trailing water all over the floor, at that. Maybe he's misjudging what can count as an embarrassing story for these kinds of people. He sighs and shakes his head at the idea that he's ever had anything embarrassing happen in front of Makima. As if. Who cares - they all told shitty stories, so it's fine if -- ]

[-- And then Angel speaks up, his tone low and a little like he's on the edge of sleep.]

What about that time you got us kicked out of that pachinko parlor?

[Aki's head whips to look at him, his eyes wide and face immediately going bright red as he snaps, "We didn't get kicked out!" Angel shrugs. Forcibly escorted out is essentially being kicked out.]

[ Oh, huh! That sounds like something — Denji forgets all about cleaning up in a matter of seconds, the cards left in an uneven stack as he emphatically waves his hand at Aki to shush him. ]

Pipe down, dude, there are folks sleepin' at this hour! [ Nope, not going to acknowledge the irony of the situation. ] Let him speak! I wanna hear this.

[ Excitedly, Denji leans his body toward Angel's, not really being mindful of keeping his distance, but it's not as if he's going to reach out and grab him. He just wants to hear him better. His voice is so quiet right now he doesn't want to risk missing even a single detail of what goes on during their patrols. He and Power aren't exactly tight-lipped whenever something fun or interesting or weird occurs, but Aki's always all business… ]

What happened? Which big guy in charge did he piss off to get you two kicked out to the curb?

[Aki looks equal parts annoyed and cowed by being told to quiet down, embarrassed that Denji has a point in telling him to do so. Angel considers backing away yet again from his approach, but he's tired. He doesn't want to put in the effort anymore. If he tells him the story, maybe he'll back off.]

I don't remember when it happened... There was a report in the neighborhood about a devil, and he made a big stink about looking in the pachinko parlor, 'cause he said it would be a good hiding place for a devil.

[Based on his expression, Aki still agrees with this thought. Lots of humans, lots of despair, fear of losing money... It's prime real estate for a devil's home.]

But the human who owned the parlor didn't want to empty the building because there was no proof. So this human decided I should stay by the entry and keep an eye out while he went through the aisles and looked around. [It was a good shift for him. He hardly had to do anything. Aki's rationale that the aisles were too close for comfort for his wingspan seemed legit, too.]

...But some other human got upset and thought he was a policeman, and started yelling and making a fuss. So this one starts getting worked up and turns around all of a sudden to make a fuss back, but he knocks over a whole tower of marbles, and they go all over the place. And the human who was upset falls over and it makes another human get upset and their marbles fall over next. Everyone's upset and thinking that this human's a policeman looking to collect their debts or take them to jail or whatever it is they do, and he's saying over and over again, [Angel drops his voice a register or so, in an attempt to mimic Aki's tone better.] "I'm Public Safety! Not the police!"

...And then when the human in charge came over, he slipped on all the marbles and fell on his face. So we got kicked out.

[They found the devil in a dumpster later. Aki still maintains he did nothing wrong.]

[ The story's hard to follow. Lots of different humans running amok, Aki chief among them, but it's still pretty entertaining to hear from this perspective, anyway.

Denji bounces in his seat, madly giggling like he may have just snuck a sip of Aki's beer without anyone looking. At each interval of the story, he keeps interrupting with and what then? or what happens next? And when some new element of chaos gets introduced, his shoulders shake raucously. Angel gives a startlingly accurate impersonation of Aki, and Denji is already on his back, rolling, nearly brushing shoulders with his wings with how hard he's laughing. ]

Pfffft, holy crap, this human's such a dumbass! I almost feel bad for those pachinko punks. Almost.

[ Maybe if their pain weren't just as funny to him. ]

So wait, I'm confused about that last part — was the human in charge the one who slipped or was it Aki? Honestly, it was kinda confusing figuring out who did what 'zactly in your story… You should just call Aki by his name next time. Just sayin'.

[Call Aki Hayakawa by his name? Angel's brows pull a little tighter, unhappy with the idea. He slides his wings away from the rolling motion of Denji on the floor and looks toward Aki briefly, but the stare ends up lingering. Because Aki is smiling.]

[He looks a little tipsy, sure, but he's smiling. At what? he wants to ask. The story? The way Denji is rolling on the floor like a dog? He doens't know. Doesn't get it. Hardly ever does he see this human smile and tonight he's caught it at least twice. It's not like he's never seen him around Denji before, so what is it about this set-up that has made it happen twice? Denji said he was sad, but you wouldn't get that at all from his faint smile right now.]

"Human-kun" is easier to say than "Aki Hayakawa."

[Then just call him Aki would be the reply, but he doesn't really want to. He can't explain why. He just doesn't want to.]

And the human who owned the pachinko parlor fell. And he just watched it happen.

[Aki sighs, the smile gone as he replies, "He was a whole meter away when he fell." But Angel shrugs. They still got kicked out after, and that seemed to embarrass him, so. Embarrassing story told.]

[Though Aki does tell Denji, in terms of Angel's way of speaking, "You get used to him using 'human' and 'devil' to describe everything. Haven't you ever heard people say devils don't remember names?" It's a commonly held belief, one which Angel doesn't argue with.]

[ Needless to say, Denji misses the smile and Angel's perplexed look by folly of his amusement. His laughter subsides only once Aki tells him about this alleged name theory. Truthfully, he can see how it holds water — just look at Beam. That weirdo crows out Lord Chainsaw this and that every time he sees him. There are plenty of devils who probably couldn't care less about names and who they're attached to, but about what a name symbolizes. What it represents.

But then, there are devils like Pochita. Ones that learn your name and remember the one you gave them, untethered to fear or power, but something else. Something secret. ]

I guess that could be true. [ It's not worth arguing over, though. ] Human-kun.

[ …No, it sounds plain odd coming from him and Aki is less syllables. Faster to say when he's begging him to make something new for dinner. Plus, he shouldn't steal Angel's gimmick. His typical annoying antics are reserved for when it's not this late, when Angel doesn't look more than half-asleep, and when Aki doesn't look so… un-Aki-like.

Wait a second. He squints at him. ]

Yeesh, are you drunk already? [ He turns to Angel. ] If he passes out, we're gonna have to tuck 'em in.

[Aki shakes his head at Denji's attempt, dismissing it before he gets too carried away with it. He doesn't really like that Angel only calls him that or "hey" or "you" or sometimes, if he's just the right distance away, "you there." Like he's some interchangeable person to him.]

[But he's definitely not drunk, and Angel comments on that before he can.] He's still sober. This is called being tipsy, he said. [See, he can remember things like the difference between intoxication and tipsiness, but not human names. Such a pain. Aki rolls his eyes.] You should still call him Aki Hayakawa. You're half human still, yourself.

[Or thereabouts. He gets to his feet and sheds the jacket Aki had given him, briefly looking at the mess they've accumulated. Not his problem.] I'm using the toilet. You should clean up. [And off he goes to take care of that. Aki sighs and begins to gather their junk, wrapping up some of the half-eaten food and assembling the garbage into one pile. No, he's not drunk, but he feels much more pleasant than he did about an hour ago. Whether it's due to Angel or Denji or their combined efforts, he doesn't know. Doesn't really want to examine, either. Or give Denji the credit for.]

[Before they can get that far, however, Angel is back, now holding what looks like Meowy's brush. Not the deshedding one, but the one with softer bristles to mimic grooming that Power got once in their outings because she didn't think Meowy should be doing all the work (though Aki and Denji are the ones she instructs to use it).]

Chainsaw-kun. Use this on these.

[He flaps his wings just enough to make it clear what he means. Aki looks at him like he's nuts, but doesn't stop him, continuing with the trash gathering.]

[ His head perks up from where he's laying on the bed, having gotten back up there at some point with his rolling done. Probably simply to pester Aki and get in the way of his cleaning, like a dog who insists on being included in everything, even passively, but he pauses in doing that at Angel's return. Gives him a strange look, unsure if he heard him right. And then he really feels like he's in the twilight zone when Aki doesn't seem to care at all, barely even argues. Maybe because he's drunk? Well, tipsy, according to them both…

Ugh, forget that. Does this guy think he can just boss him around? A complaint he keeps to himself as he hops off the bed to take the brush, fully expecting Angel to just plop down right there at the threshold of the room. He rubs the bristles against his palm, considering its texture and how much force he should apply. Angel's wings already look kinda nice and downy, so probably not much. ]

I thought you hated me.

[ Bit of a leap to make from someone setting ironclad boundaries with him, but that's just how Denji's thinking operates. In extremes. ]

It won't like hurt you or anything if I do this and, I dunno, your feathers come out, right?

[Hate is a very strong word to describe Angel's feelings about anything. He wouldn't even say he hates working. Yes, Denji is extremely annoying and yes, he keeps touching him without asking and yes, he makes absolutely no sense with 75% of the things he says, but he doesn't hate him. Even Aki looks surprised that Denji has come to that conclusion, stating, "He doesn't hate you, he's just like that."]

I can't reach the feathers in the middle of my back easily. And he's no good at doing it. ["He" being Aki. He was given the task once and failed horribly, barely brushing the feathers out at all. It was also way too ticklish with how gentle he was being. Denji is less caring, he figues.] So I'll let you try it next.

[He does, in fact, sit down right in front of the doorway when Denji comes over, because why move when it's a spot that works? Facing away, he stretches his wings out gradually, the wingspan nearly doubling as he does so, Angel's expression that of someone stretching their arms after a long day.] Just go right down the ones in the middle of my back, there... The ones I can't reach. [He won't attempt to teach him wing vocabulary, instead reaching back to grab at the bottom of his tertials, trying to touch his scapulars to illustrate where he means for Denji to brush.] There's a lot stuck in there, they need to come out. But don't pluck them. They'll fall out if they want to fall out. Got it?

[ Denji reacts to Aki's correction with a slow blink, somewhat understanding what just like that means, yet also, not at all, somehow. Well, it's not as if he would've been torn up inside if Angel did hate him. The same way Denji doesn't like guys, guys don't like him. They shouldn't. It's why he recoils when Beam lavishes him in too much admiration, why when he sometimes sees something softer, rounder, in Aki's expression, something outside of his usual deep-seated frustration, he feels a little sick inside.

With Angel, though, a mutual not-hate is… fine. He can live with that. Not sure why. ]

Yep. Got it.

[ He joins him right there on the outskirts of the room, knees quietly dropping to the floorboards. Quietly, because he doesn't need another displeased voice yelling at him from below, too. He takes the brush to where he about half-sure he's being directed, dragging the bristles down his innermost feathers, watching the pale vanes part, then jump right back into place with the combing motion. Really, he's mimicking what he does whenever Power assigns him grooming duty for Meowy. Except Angel doesn't have the same amount of mats that Meowy sometimes does (or Power, for that matter), so there there isn't as much of a need to force the brush down as strongly. But he does so, anyway. His "technique," if you can call it that, hasn't failed him yet.

A few feathers float to the ground with each downward stroke and, without stopping, Denji pinches one out from mid-air. ]

Woah, it feels just like the feathers inside my pillow…

[ Yes, the feathers that pop out from his case whenever he and his fiend roommate have spontaneous pillow fights on the other side of the wall. He gives the spindle of the quill a twirl. ]

So, whaddaya think? Am I better than Aki?

[Aki is busy trying to scoop up some crumbs into one of the plastic snack bags, so his notice of the situation is a little delayed. He only notices because the room is already a little dim with only his bedside lamp on, so when Angel's halo starts to flicker and sharpen its shine like a lightbulb with too much power going into it, he sees the shadows cast across the room grow brighter and finally looks over - just as Angel exhales a long, distinctly pleasured sound like a sigh, his head dropping down to rest his forehead onto his knees.]

You're way better.

[Aki's eyes blink in shock at both the flickering of his halo, the noise he just made, and what he says. Because - seriously?! He only did it once, it couldn't have been that bad. And what the hell was that sound?? It was like a...]

[But the next time Denji goes right over his scapulars, right next to where his wings meld into the skin of his back where the feathers are smaller and the most downy, he full on shudders, his toes curling in the socks.]

Way, way better.

[...Aki sets his jaw, grabbing everything he's gathered and forcibly pushing past them both to exit the room. Hopefully neither of them use the halo's brighter light to see how red his face is. With annoyance, of course.]

Eh?!

[ A short yip inflects out of him when Aki lobs his way through the door, as if he'd stepped on his tail in the process. Not meaning to, Denji shoots into Angel's back to avoid getting elbowed by him or smacked by the bag of trash, the head of the brush kneading into those petal-like feathers. Close enough to feel his springy hairs tickling the underside of his chin, but just short of actually resting against him. What the hell was that?

As soon as the owner of the room is gone, he leans back, neck screwed around to peek out the door, following his trajectory with some mixture of irritation and bewilderment. And maybe a spritz of concern scored between his drawn brows, however, sensing himself lingering too long, he moves back. Rubs the ball of his palm across his forehead, trying not to feel embarrassed about the whole thing. That whole light show with Angel's halo… ]

Dude, what was that about? [ He's still brushing him, but noticeably away from that stretch of wing nearest to the center of his spine that Angel seems to like so much. ] You didn't have to say it twice. [ Once would've been enough to last Denji his whole sorry life. While he wouldn't necessarily mind hearing his breath cascade out like that again, to have that effect on someone, anyone, honestly, he — he feels really weird. Like he can't fully let himself preen about it, not if — ] Aki's gonna cry again.

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