windfall | what i desire most, what i fear most

[ He isn't particularly shocked by this turn of events, but he still stares at Angel, jaw hanging slightly ajar the way it does when he's processing his options. After realizing that all roads lead to him losing this round, he chuffs a bout of air and sharply turns his face away, arms crossed. ]

Yeah, yeah, got it, whatever! Already got something in mind to tell ya, anyway: Suck my d —

[ Denji snatches card from the deck to add to his hand, stopping his tirade mid-sentence. He pauses, his mouth puckering oddly, like he's trying to cheese a smile when he really wants to curse everyone in the room. ]

Oh, ho, ho! Not bad. Not bad at all!

[ The overenthusiastic reaction is a bluff and an extremely obvious one, at that. His hand isn't particularly good, but he's trying to provoke Aki into hitting to forcibly incite a win.

And if that doesn't work, he's got a Plan B. Collusion.

Tilting himself closer to Angel, the movements of his lips obscured behind his cards, he whispers: ] I know I told you to play seriously, but Hayakawa's really pissin' me off. How 'bout you throw this round and I give you the rest of my chips?

[Like the same poles on a magnet, Angel slides away as Denji moves in close, his face scrunching in dissatisfaction. He gives his bid for Angel to throw, and though he doesn't mind the idea, he does visibly pause, turning to look at him steadily as Aki stares on, aware of what they're doing thanks to how small the room is and how impossible Denji is at keeping anything a secret. When Angel speaks up, it's in a neutral tone, not loud but not attempted to be quiet, either.]

I thought you were trying to cheer him up.

[Wasn't that the whole purpose of this night? Now he's mad at Aki Hayakawa and wants him to have to tell an embarrassing story? Knowing him, it'll be something depressing and what if that ends up making him emotional again?]

[...Well. He draws a card, as does Aki, unfazed by Denji's attempts at grandstanding to make his hand seem so good. Even if Angel throws, Aki has no intention of being the lowest or the highest right now.]

[ Denji's generally repulsed by men, so the way Angel kites back from him shouldn't get under his skin as much as it does… But he really doesn't get it. He regularly bathes and brushes his teeth! Like, yes, maybe he swims in devil guts more than the average half-person, but the same thing can be said about the vast majority of their squadron. He's as normal as they come, comparatively. Angel's the one that's weird.

Giving up the illusion of being sneaky, as well as trying to hide his thoughts from Aki, he leans back, rubbing at his jaw. ]

I can cheer him up and still win.

[ A simple statement from a simple boy. ]

I mean, you think that guy is so weak, he'll tear up over cards? [ …Denji passes his turn to consider this. ] Well, if he does, there's a reason why we bought tissues.

I'm not going to tear up over cards.

[He's so annoying. Aki gives them both harsh looks for the debate over his emotional well-being, as if he's really that bad off. He was keeping as quiet as he could tonight! Sue him for missing his former buddy! At least the lighting in the room is so warm so they don't have to see the heat in his face as he skips the next card, dealing one last one for the dealer and then flipping it over to reveal.]

[The dealer has a 20. Which is fine, because Aki got an 18. Angel sets his cards down in a pile and Aki reaches over to fan them out - 13. He didn't exactly throw, but he still didn't try at all. Aki looks to Denji next, expectantly. Did he go over, or did he place below him? Surely he went over, especially now that he can't count cards. He's definitely the type to take too many cards.]

[Angel complains that he doesn't want to tell another story, that he doesn't have any. Aki doesn't answer him, just waits with baited breath for Denji to lose.]

[ Denji would argue both their points — that Angel doesn't have any stories worth revealing, that Aki's nose won't running at any stretch of the game — if he weren't so crestfallen over the clean span of 22 spread in his hand. He almost doesn't want to reveal his cards for their circle to see, but feeling Aki's expectant stare boring into him…

Guuuhhh. He slaps them down. There. ]

Don't let it get to your head! I just didn't wanna hear ya go, 'Weeeh, boohoo, there was this one time I asked a lady out and she said my topknot looked stuuupid.'

[ Just as quickly as he'd turned over his cards, he starts to reach for them again to reshuffle, only for him to awkwardly still his hand, then pretend he was simply reaching over for a jelly cup, instead. Ugh, that's right, he's in hot water for not-cheating. Also, he's gotta tell a stupid story now. ]

One time, uh… [ Huh, this is hard. Well, there was the welcome party where Miss Himeno ruined his first kiss, but Aki was there for that and Angel will probably just call him gross again, despite what happened not being Denji's fault. …And what if Aki really cries at the mention of his dead pal? That'd be awkward.

After a moment of hemming and hawing: ] Okay, I got it. Um, don't tell Makima this, but…

The first time I went to the library, I tried to watch, y'know, dirty stuff. On the computers. What I found wasn't dirty stuff, though, but the full movie of this one horror flick!

[ Audition (1999). Illegally uploaded, of course. ]

It was pretty sick, so I watched that for a lil' while 'til I got to this gory part where this dude is getting his foot sawed off by this pretty lady in the movie, but, like, he kinda deserved it — anyway. That's when this hot librarian snuck up on me outta nowhere! Bun, glasses, the whole shebang. I was like, 'Hey.' And she went, 'What are you watching?' And I told her, but then she told me back that I couldn't watch stuff like that there, so I asked her where to watch actual porny stuff and then that's when she kicked me out.

[ He looks especially bummed out by this. He got escorted out by security and everything. Without much fuss, of course! He didn't wanna cause any trouble, obviously. ]

The embarrassing part is when I got home and realized that I just typed the one website I was lookin' for wrong!

[The sweet taste of victory is almost cut short by the story Denji tells. Not because it's about something so unamusing as to be boring (he kind of matches Angel with this story in terms of the content being worthy of named embarrassing), but because...]

You asked a librarian where to find pornography?

[Well. Angel summarized it. Aki gathers the cards while looking the most disgusted out of both of them, Angel just kind of looking amused that Denji seems most concerned about being kicked out of a public building rather than pirating movies or trying to look at dirty images on the internet.]

You're a real piece of work, you know that? [He sets the cards down without shuffling, as if their game is over. No, he's not trying to get out of losing another game and having to tell a story, himself. Not at all. Angel is looking at him and can see right through him on that, though, but if he doesn't look at him back then he doesn't. Trees in woods or whatever.] Now I'm glad I never looked into getting a computer.

Edited 2023-11-06 07:34 (UTC)

[ Denji cocks his head to the side, perplexed by Angel's question. ]

Yeah? I mean, librarians are s'posed to know a bunch of things like that! [ Has Angel even been to a library before? He knows he's old-old, older than even the oldest looking man Denji can think of (Kishibe), but how considerable his latitude was, to explore and chart out the world, prior to Makima finding him is a big question mark. Hmm. ] Uh, the next time I break you out, I can take ya there, I guess —

Hey!!!

[ He saw that! His eyes narrowed, Denji drops his jelly cup and smacks a hand against the bed, and in a flash, that same hand whips out an accusatory finger pointed Aki's way. The deck of cards drips over onto its side. ]

What're you doing? The game's not over yet! We've still got two more rounds. Didja forget how to count or something?

[Denji yells at him and Aki all but groans. Angel's halo actually buzzes a little at the sudden loud sound but he looks unfazed. Two more... Ugh. He was the one who said five games, wasn't he? Trust Denji to only remember the stupid stuff. Aki picks up the cards and grumbles as he shuffles them again.]

I get it, I get it. Two more. Don't yell or I'll take you door by door in the morning to apologize again.

[They already got one smack on the wall tonight. If there's another, he's definitely going to make him do the rounds again. He starts dealing a new hand.]

And stop saying you'll break him out. You can't break him out, he's a devil. I'm already going to have to deal with this in the morning - if you do it again, I'll make you take the responsibility next time.

[Angel catches it - that Aki intends to take responsibility for Angel's "breaking out" - and wonders if he knows that Makima knows he's here, how he got here. It's a 99.999% chance she knows. How could she not? But he's never seen her mice, he thinks. Either way, he doesn't speak up in defense or offense, neutrally drinking his water.]

[ Inaudible grumblings emanate from Denji at the tongue-lashing he receives, the only decipherable things being terms like Dude! and Bully…

Unsurprisingly, this isn't the first time he's bothered their neighbors, the most recent incident being the, uh, air fryer event. One of the housewives in the building complained to their superintendent about them days after, claiming that the smoke and ash blasted all the way down through to her vents somehow, and that no matter how much she aired out her family's apartment unit, the scent continued to cling to their walls. Since then, she's given him the stink eye every time they cross paths. He'd really rather avoid her. ]

Fine, yeah, alright… I won't break him out.

[ Glumly, he glances at Angel, who is unbothered, moisturized, and extremely in his lane as he delicately sips his water. As if to mirror him, Denji brings his jello cup to his mouth, tipping it slightly… But when it fails to unstick from the sides of the cup, he just messily shoves his tongue inside and gulps it all down. While trying to make sure he gets all the leftover juices out, he continues: ] This guy's pretty ungrateful, isn't he? Making us actually have to file paperwork and crap the next time we wanna cheer him up.

I don't know why you bothered.

[He says it bluntly, easily within hearing range of Aki, who doesn't react to it, simply draws another card. So does Angel.]

You know he's emotionally constipated, hard on you, and a stickler for rules. You knew all the things you did tonight were going to end with you right in this situation.

[Not exactly this entire situation of them playing cards in his bedroom with Angel wearing Power's socks and eating a large amount of baked sweets, but still. Aki rolls his eyes at the descriptive words he's been given but doesn't fight them directly, just grunts something about it being Denji's turn. Angel raises his eyes to look at Denji directly, heedless of whether he draws or not.]

So why bother?

[As if he didn't follow him every step of the way, complaining or lagging but still walking forward.]

[ His tongue sticks out as he blows a raspberry and shakes a thumbs-down at him. ]

Wrong, bird for brains.

[ There's no inflection in his reply, flat and possibly not really getting what Angel means all the way — gut instinct tells him he's essentially getting called out on something, but on what, he has no clue. Denji collects his card and, out of habit, nearly pads up the next card into his by its corner so that he can steal a look at the value, but remembers just in time to avert his eyes. An irritated click of his tongue — shoot, that guy said no cheating, didn't he? ]

I dunno whatcha think of me, but I'm pretty sure your idea's screwed up. First of all, I never know a damn thing about anything!

[ …Well, he has a vague notion, usually. He understands the probability of Aki shooting down whichever of Denji's ideas he considers garbage are high, but then he thinks about how he'd asked him to play his nut-kick game against that katana dumbass, how he'd laughed and grinned with him the widest he'd ever seen. The odds are slim, but they're never zero — and underlying most of Denji's actions is a poor gamble.

Secondly… ] Why do you think people play cards or dice or pachinko?

[Angel doesn't react to his first point, but Aki huffs like he's trying to cover up a snort. Angel's eyes are drawn to that noise, staring across at him and his attempts to pull himself from this conversation happening over his head, leaning his head back to finish his beer. Something that Chainsaw said must have resonated, but he can't understand why or how.]

For the small chance that they might win.

[He answers deadpan to his question, still not looking directly at him. If that's all it is, does this even count as a win? He's just going to be depressed again on a different day. What does it matter, in the long run? He watches as Aki sets down his beer and picks up the cards. Still willing to continue this with them.]

[...Is he jealous of this display?]

[No, he decides. He'd rather no one try and cheer him up.]

Just seems like a waste of time.

Edited 2023-11-12 20:35 (UTC)

That so…

[ Denji pulls a face — an expression that could easily be attributed to the card that's just joined his hand, or the fact that he doesn't agree with Angel. Winning isn't the only fun part of stuff like this. For example, Power loses all the time against him in Mario Kart, but she keeps playing because it makes her crow with joy whenever she successfully aims a blue shell at him. ]

Feels weird hearing that come from you. Thought you'd be into wastin' time and not doing anything important.

[ Like, maybe playing a card game isn't fun for him, but it's not work. Or walking, for that matter. ]

So let's hear it, then. What would ya rather do instead?

[Maybe if this was on work hours, Angel thinks to say, but decides not to. Not the point, either way. And Aki is looking at him now, waiting for his reply. Like he wants to do anything but sleep until the last sleep.]

[He can't say that, though, or he'll really kill the mood. People don't ever really ask what he wants to do, anyway. They'll ask what he wants or what he needs but not what he wants to do. How does he even answer that? Angel sighs and picks at his cards.]

It doesn't matter.

[He sets them down - a 20. Aki sits back, visibly shocked. The dealer only has an 18, but he has 17. He thought he'd be fine with that. Nervously, his eyes trail to Denji. Maybe he went over...?]

[ Denji's somewhat put out by that response, confusion crumpling his expression like an ugly snack wrapper. His answer matters enough that he bothered asking, that Aki seemed keen on listening. Why doesn't he get that? ]

— cheater!!

[ Well, it's fine. Too busy crying over his hand to push back against Angel, he trashes his cards, throwing them face up into the center as if he can't bear to look at them any longer. 23. That's the second time in row that he's lost now… He hates this game! Who's bright idea was it to play?! ]

You, you, you cheated! Somehow — [ There's a harsh series of knocks against the wall again — thump, thump, thump. Someone using their slipper, if he had to guess. Since they've relocated to Aki's room, it has to be a different neighbor, too. Uh-oh. Denji flinches, darting a look Aki's way. ] …Sorry.

[ Then, louder, and obviously directed to the person living in the adjacent unit, he bellows: ] Sooorry!!

Shut up.

[Aki speaks sternly and sharply when Denji suddenly starts screaming his apology to their neighbor. Another victim that he'll have to apologize to tomorrow morning. Then he sighs, gathering the cards to shuffle.]

It's different when you can't count cards, huh. [Calling Angel a cheater when the guy is barely even trying, when Denji was the one actually cheating...] You don't have to tell a story if you don't want to, I don't care. We'll do one more and be finished for the night. I'm tired of listening to you two complain.

[Angel gives Denji a look that either says You see? or Sheesh. It's not quite clear if he's blaming him for the soured mood or commiserating, given it's pretty much equally their fault.]

You're going to have to clean up in here, though, regardless.

What?!

[ Oh, that was still kinda loud — Denji flinches his head back, a conditioned response from all the times Aki's thwacked his head. Subsequently, in a more lowered volume, that's… honestly, not that much quieter: ] No! Obviously, I gotta tell a story — those are the rules! I'll just… I'll tell a shorter one.

[ But which shorter one? And is it even possible for Denji to condense himself while speaking? He isn't too sure himself, half a brow arches as he stares off to the side, humming for a long while. He scratches his neck. Twiddles with a loose thread budding from one of the seams of the sheets. After making them wait an annoying amount of time, he casually reveals his next story. ]

Well, one time, I imagined your buddy wearing, like, a bikini thing in a dream. That was embarrassing.

[ There, short and sweet. Omitting the fact that it was less of a dream and more of an outright fantasy.

…He's planning on leaving it at that, but a beat passes, and he realizes how incriminating that sounds. So hastily, he turns to Angel. ]

But it was just one time! And I wasn't sure whether you were a girl or a guy back then. Plus, there were lots of other people in the dream, too.

[Denji just keeps talking while Angel and Aki openly stare at him. Angel looks something like curious, as if Denji suddenly has his femur jutting out of his skin and he's observing his reaction, while Aki looks both disgusted with him and - not embarrassed. He's not embarrassed at all. A bikini? What the hell??? Denji's never even seen Angel naked, how could he imagine him in a bikini? Not that Aki is thinking about the times he's seen him naked, standing in the shower staring down at him while he sprays him with the showerhead to loosen the devil guts from his hair, red falling from red, his halo lit like a - ]

What the hell is wrong with you...?

[If he scolds Denji he won't have the mental capacity to imagine a bikini on anyone. Right. He's figured this out.]

What kind of messed up dreams do you have where you imagine other people in revealing clothing? Are you crazy?

[Before he can get much further from the image, however, Angel speaks up and asks, "What kind of bikini?" Aki jerks to look at him like he just took his top off to reveal he had one on the whole time or something (no, he's not imagining that!!). Why is he suddenly interested in this line of discussion?!]

W-What?! Piss off! Nothin's wrong with my dreams!

[ His face heats, the flight from indifference to enraged a short one as soon as Aki opens his mouth. He was playing by the rules. He did things the right way, and he's still getting told off for it…? Plus, what's with that weirdly keen look in his eyes, behind all that repulsion — Aki's refocuses his attention elsewhere, then, and another twinge of annoyance spikes up Denji's neck, his jaw grinding. This jerk…

He folds his legs up so that he can duck rest his chin between his knees. Sulking a little. It was just a dream. All people, not even just guys, can have those types. It's normal. …Right? Ah, maybe he should ask Makima —

Angel asks him a question and Denji's eyes lift, warily. ]

It was like, uh, the frilly kind… Pretty stuff only girls wear. And, I'unno… You had on these really long socks? Sockings? Stockings? Whatever, they were a part of this, like, full-body bra thing. I remember there were bows on 'em. And they were see-through.

[ What Denji's describing is less of a traditional bikini and more like a luxury basque set. Obviously, he doesn't know that, though. ]

[That doesn't sound like a bikini. Aren't bikinis for swimming? You wouldn't wear socks when you go swimming. Angel looks kind of interested in the image that Denji's supposed subconscious created while Aki looks even more mortified than before, his eyes wide as he stares at Denji in disbelief.]

You really dreamed of something like that?

[He's been mistaken for a woman enough times before but it never really bothered him, personally. Angel isn't the sort to care for how people perceive him. But Denji having such a vivid, sexual dream about him... That, he's never experienced, to his knowledge. Does he have those about other devils?]

Did you do anything with the me in your dream? [And Aki finally intejects, "I don't want to know that! Don't ask him that!" Angel looks a little put out, staring across at him with a frown.] I'm curious. I never hear anything about anyone else's dreams.

[ Being faced in concert with the heat of Aki's disdain and the coolness of Angel's interest has Denji fenced in between two very, very hard places. He doesn't exactly want to peeve his housemate any further than he already has, especially when he seems set on punishing him tomorrow for his other transgressions. It'd be annoying if he heaped more crap on top of that. On the other hand, though, it's kind of a rare occasion for Angel to wanna know more about… anything. Let alone anything involving Denji.

In the end, Denji averts his gaze away from them both, scratching an itch behind his ear. ]

I just brushed your hair and helped you take off your socks. That's it. [ His eyes pointedly rush to look at Aki's, insistently, as his brows push together. Like a Shiba Inu when they're aware they've acted out. ] I didn't do anything bad!

[ He doesn't mention the way Angel led his hands to the garters of his stockings, staring expectantly at him to unclasp the hooks, the way his gaze shook when he rubbed the underside of his knee, then peeled the sheer garments down. Definitely doesn't mention that Aki was there, too, but that was a different part of the dream entirely. ]

[Brushed his hair and took his socks off... Angel's expression falls, now looking slightly annoyed as he sighs.]

Even in your dreams you're touching me without asking. Don't you know by now I don't want you to touch me?

[At this, Aki's eyes nearly bug out of his head as he looks at Denji, jaw agape. "What do you mean, touching him? Why are you trying to touch him?!" But Angel interrupts before he can continue his freak out.] I told him not to. I keep telling him not to, but he keeps bumping my shoulder and grabbing my arm and stuff. It's so annoying. [Aki stares at Denji in horror, like Angel just calmly explained how Denji has been playing Russian roulette every night with a loaded gun. To him, it's the same thing.]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

1/3 on god denji

no subject

3/3

1/2

2/2

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject