digestate: AHHHHHH 🐧 (52 ▮ woof!)
Denji ([personal profile] digestate) wrote in [community profile] windfall2023-09-23 05:22 pm

what i desire most, what i fear most



we can just treat this as our misc csm cupboard 💕
damngun: (7)

[personal profile] damngun 2025-01-08 02:50 am (UTC)(link)

[Even though a warning before he does stuff like this would be nice, Aki only groans lightly, unseriously, as Denji burrows his way beneath his shirt and pops his head out through his collar, the blond locks tickling his nose and making him tilt his head back. He doesn't push him off or do anything to make it seem like he dislikes this, but he puts up enough of a show of being annoyed, like he's simply allowing it to happen, like whenever Denji rubs himself all over his front or wraps himself under his coat. Things they both should have grown out of long ago but still haven't. Well - What else is new?]

The girl who... [He remembers her after a moment, having to dig back for who else was there that day.] Oh, her... I guess so. Ah, Denji, your fingers are cold. [He shivers once, turning his shoulder a little further away to give him more room.] Yeah, we can invite them... I'll send out some messages tomorrow morning. You can invite whoever, too.

[Not that he expects him to. Denji's always been an unusual sort with friendship. Clingy once he gets close enough, but slow to build that connection. Pair that with his outlandish behavior and that he looks and acts like a troublemaker, most kids stay away from him, until Aki comes around. He raises a hand to pat his head over his shirt.]

If your chest hurts, or it's hard to breathe... [He trails off, closing his eyes. He doesn't want an argument now, so he settles on,] Just make sure you're comfy.

damngun: (7)

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[personal profile] damngun 2025-01-13 03:13 am (UTC)(link)

[He's tired. He hasn't really had a moment to relax at all today - not on the train, not at the beach, not on the way home. Laying like this with Denji right against him, his breaths fogging on his skin, the constant reminder that he's okay... It's coaxing him to let his guard down, relax into this moment and take it for what it is: a relief. But he's never been good at letting sleeping dogs lie. Even as he closes his eyes and settles into his pillow, he's never really fully asleep until the two of them are.]

[So it doesn't startle him when he apologizes, his voice sleepy and a mumble. He can hear Power turning the lights off in the other room, gathering Meowy to finally come to bed. Lightly, he pushes his head against Denji's, just a little bump of one noggin against the other.]

Always gonna worry... That's my job.

[He hears Power creep into the room, crawling into her bed as Meowy climbs over them, sniffs and takes in the scents of the three of them before, naturally, curling up in Power's cocoon. It's exactly how it should be, he thinks, everyone right where they should be - even if Denji is in his bed, hiding up his shirt. Even if there's a devil sleeping in his bed. No matter what... No matter what, he reminds himself, he'll always be worrying about them. So it's fine if he continues to tonight, too.]

damngun: (82)

[personal profile] damngun 2025-01-13 03:15 am (UTC)(link)

Hayakawa family roasting sweet potatoes
We're going to have a grill and hot stones set up
Come by if you like this afternoon
Please bring your own newspaper if you can

[That's the mass text that goes aound the next morning, with input from both Denji and Power on who to include and the grocery shopping list. Since they ended up not eating out while on their trip, they have plenty of cash to stock up on vegetables and Aki can roast them and use whatever leftovers they end up with into a white curry. He's been thinking about it since last night since it seemed like a simple, safe activity to do in light of the disaster that was that beach trip. Plus, they seriously need to stock up on some food. The zombie devil incident has made shopping for groceries harder to do in the early evening when Aki tends to go to get all the sales.]

[He tugs the apartment's grill into position on the front walkway and begins digging through the storage for coal and any stones leftover from when the neighbors did this before. He sent Denji and Power out with just enough cash to get a good variety of things, reminding them to only get things that will roast well: potatoes, carrots, eggplant, leeks... At the end of the day, whatever they don't eat will just become dinner later, he reminds them, so make sure to think about your future. That's to keep them from coming back with a thousand potatoes again and then crying about being sick of potatoes two days later.]

[It's chilly, for the season. It's still a few weeks to winter but he's already tugging his jacket back on once the exertion from moving all the equipment is no longer enough to keep him warm. Fanning the flames gently as they warm the coals, a pair of other boys show up eventually, waving small bags of things to roast and asking how the beach trip went. Aki lies and says it was a bore.]

[A few minutes go by as they catch up and Aki sees a few other kids: namely, the student council treasurer and the girl Denji took a liking to among them. She's not carrying anything to roast, which Aki finds a little odd, but doesn't question. Just greets her like the others and mentions there's a vending machine down the block if anyone wants something other than green tea.]

damngun: (59)

[personal profile] damngun 2025-01-21 05:22 am (UTC)(link)

[When Denji returns, Aki is squatted in front of the coals, gently fanning them to stoke the fire. Two of the boys he played soccer with are seated near him as they chat quietly - about the one who got killed. How strange it all was, that they saw him just that day and the next minute he was gone. How they should have walked with him, shouldn't they have? That's what Public Safety was saying, right? But Aki reminds them that it was still the middle of the day when he left, that none of them were thinking about that. They can't blame themselves. "None of us could have fought off a devil," one of them mutters in addition, then looks at Aki with a perk in his brow. Not quite doubtful, but a little wary. "You're really going to join Public Safety?" he asks.]

[Aki opens his mouth to answer, but the sight of Denji coming through the gate with Power catches his eye before he can say anything. He realizes, maybe stupidly, that his heart had been racing during that discussion, thinking about Denji and Power by themselves. Devils don't care if it's morning or evening, after all. He shakes his head and pokes at one of the bundled sweet potatoes, coaxing it closer to the coals as he watches Denji drop the produce on the table. From habit, he assumes he's going to make his way over.]

Let's drop the topic, okay? [And just as he thought, here he comes, wiping at his nose as one of the other boys pulls out his phone, looking away. The other watches the two of them, amused by Denji's obvious intent in coming over as he starts asking after the girl.]

["You got a crush, Mini Hayakawa?" he teases, and Aki rolls his eyes. That girl can't possibly be Denji's type, he wants to argue, but... Suddenly, an idea comes to him and he pushes himself to his feet. He smells smoky and like a tuber but that's fine - He didn't get the food that girl brought anyway, and surely she brought something, so now's a good time to ask if she wants to cook it now or later. Even more importantly, however, is the idea of Denji making a friend who isn't five times his age.]

C'mon. [He reaches down to snag Denji by the wrist, heading over to the girl where she stands off to the side, rubbing her hands together and re-knotting her scarf around her neck. She looks up when she realizes Aki is coming towards her, a flush heating her face beneath her glasses and causing the bottom half of her bifocals to cloud up. He stops just a step or two away, tugging Denji right beside him.]

Komine - Did you bring anything? [He asks as he sees she truly doesn't have a bag, isn't carrying anything that could be large enough to hold even a potato. All she has is a small pochette around her shoulder which she switches to fiddling with the strap of. She shakes her head, looking down at the ground with a frown. "I didn't want to take up any extra time to cook my things," she explains, and Aki wants to point out that it's a roasting party, that multiple things can be cooked at once... But decides it's not really worth it. He sets a hand on Denji's shoulder instead, patting it once.] That's fine. He'll give you something from our stuff. This is my brother, Denji - [But she interrupts almost immediately with, "I know." Again Aki pauses. Wonders where she'd know of him, then decides she must have heard about him from the treasurer.] Well, let me know if you need anything.

[And then he turns and heads back to the fire, the boy from before watching with a wide grin of amusement. Aki only shrugs at him as he squats back down, then picks the fan up to continue stoking the flames.]

damngun: (4)

[personal profile] damngun 2025-01-29 05:38 am (UTC)(link)

[It's so obvious he's watching them that one of the other boys points it out. "You're staring, dude," they say, and Aki tears his eyes away from Denji and the girl standing near the produce. He prods at one of the eggplants and tells himself there's no actual reason to his annoyance. That, if Denji is going to make friends with someone, she's not exactly the worst choice. She's just a weirdo. Always quiet and has her head down. Draws or something, he thinks - Honestly, he doesn't really pay her any attention ever. She's not his type, after all. Or Denji's.]

["You're staring," the boy repeats, and Aki lowers his gaze again. Annoyed. "Whatever. Hey, let's go get something from the vending machine." The two of them head off as Aki is left to sulk by the fire, but no sooner are they gone when a new pair of shadows hover over him.]

Oh... Yeah. [Aki nods, reaching over to grab some of the newspaper to hand to them both.] Here, wrap them up. You remember how, right? Make sure you make it all equal, don't ball it up or anything, or it won't cook as well. Komine, you -

["I know how," she mutters, taking some of the newspaper as she squats down to begin wrapping her vegetables. Aki doesn't respond outright, mostly because he's more focused on Denji. If she knows how, then she doesn't need help. So he's good to just ignore her. Since she's kind of a weirdo, anyway. What was she even talking to Denji about? She's so quiet all the time that he can't imagine her being much for conversation...]

I'll put them on the coals, let me take them. [He reaches out toward Denji once his items are wrapped, but he frowns when he feels his hands during the trade-off.] ...You're too cold. Go inside and get a scarf or something.

damngun: (90)

[personal profile] damngun 2025-02-03 03:49 am (UTC)(link)

["You can have mine."]

[The interruption comes just as Denji is mouthing his (to Aki) unreadable order, from Komine's spot squatted on the ground. Handing off one of the rolled up vegetables to Aki, she uses her freed hands to unravel the scarf around her neck and offers that out to Denji in turn. It's not one of their school uniform scarfs, rather a purple one with little pom poms on each end. Aki's brows crease.]

It's just upstairs. You don't need to -- ["It's fine," she interrupts, her head ducked back down as she holds out the scarf, a few inches away from the barbecue pit. "I want him to have it."]

[Aki could think to see a red flag in this, how she only just met him and already wants to give him something like this, but instead he feels a wash of annoyance pass over him. How Denji is going to be talking about this scarf for the next six weeks and asking Aki to recite exactly what she said to him when she offered it out and probably recounting the smell of her shampoo in the fabric... He makes a noncommittal sort of noise and turns his attention away, setting the poorly-covered eggplant against the coals.]

damngun: (90)

[personal profile] damngun 2025-02-13 10:01 pm (UTC)(link)

[Aki watches the exchange with a growing annoyance pricking his brow.]

[From the way Denji's fingers wrap around the fabric, how he palms the pompoms and bounces them in his hands, to the way he shoves his whole face into the depths of it... That's one thing. But it's Komine, herself, who Aki doesn't trust. If this is some kind of bullying thing, or what kind of meaning this would have, otherwise. Girls don't just give stuff like this to boys. Aki would know. He learned that early on, that anything given is a desire for something in return. And Denji - Denji's just too stupid to recognize it. That, even if he doesn't give two shits about her, even if he's just caught up in the feeling of a girl paying attention to him, that it comes with a cost.]

[He sighs when Denji slips away from her and toward him, instead, loud enough to be heard far above his whispering. Feel what? he could monotone in response, annoyance in his tone, a warning like a monkey baring its teeth. But he only prods at some of the rolled-up vegetables with a stick, doing his best to show him the truth: that it shouldn't be a big deal. That the bigger of a deal he makes it out to be, the worse his eventual fall is going to hurt.]

[He never really liked Komine, he realizes. Doesn't like how she clings to the treasurer and follows her around sometimes, not catching the hint that she wasn't welcome in official meetings. Doesn't like the way she avoids looking at Aki directly, how she frowns if he mentions Public Safety or his goal after graduation. Hell, she never even talks about herself that much, just silently judges everyone else.]

[...He's being petty, he notes, but doesn't let himself see the sickly and sticky jealousy coating that feeling.]

Keep your jacket buttoned up. I don't want to hear you sneezing tonight.

damngun: (11)

[personal profile] damngun 2025-03-18 11:36 pm (UTC)(link)

[It's not hard to get into a snippy argument like this with Denji over something stupid, and Aki even opens his mouth to tell him that this isn't the kind of smoke that rots your bones and gives you cancer or whatever, it's a totally different kind of smoke, but then Komine speaks up and, whether intentional or not, knocks the wind out of his sails and the words with it.]

[He's not actually mad at Denji. He didn't do anything, after all. So there's no actual reason to be annoyed with him or upset or whatever - so he tells himself, poking at one of the newspaper-wrapped potatoes and watching the steam gush out from the hole. He's still not fond of Denji getting close with someone kind of off-kilter like Komine, still thinks she isn't quite the best influence on him, but...]

[But then he thinks back to a couple days ago and how she had spoken about the guy who had died, that her seat wasn't far from him. That, maybe, she's lonely and wants someone to talk to who isn't so awkward around her, or considering her feelings so seriously. Someone who isn't going to treat her differently and, in fact, has his own reasons for people to treat him with kid gloves, as well. Maybe that's why she's decided to talk to him today, Aki thinks. Maybe she's suffering just like the rest of them.]

[So Aki doesn't respond with any more snark or cold words, simply scoops up a few of the vegetables that have the tell-tale Denji wrapping and flips them over to set the less-hot side in his palms.]

Here. Go on and eat, and tell Power to come get something, too.

[And then he waits for Denji to head off, for him to move over to the larger group, at the small picnic table set up in front of the complex. He tests Komine's next, but the thicker root vegetables take an extra minute or so, and she doesn't seem keen on moving just yet, so he speaks up.]

He had a rough day yesterday, so - I mean, I'm sure he appreciates getting his mind off things.

[She doesn't say anything in response and Aki thinks maybe she didn't hear him, or maybe she's ignoring him, but a couple minutes later when he mentions her things should be ready she puts her gloved hands out for him, her eyes fogged by the smoke and heat covering her glasses.]

["Thanks for setting this up," she says as he places them carefully into her hands. "It's nice to see everyone." Aki nods as she gets up and heads over to Denji, figuring that's about as normal as the conversations he has with her tend to be.]

damngun: (13)

[personal profile] damngun 2025-04-17 03:15 am (UTC)(link)

[Power's attack on the coals as he tries to explain how using sand to extinguish them works is a good enough distraction that leaves Aki out of earshot of the conversation at the picnic tables - and, perhaps thankfully, the sight of Komine and Denji sitting so closely together. When Aki tells her the fire's been defeated or whatever and Power is delightfully skipping her way over to the larger group, Aki is right on her tail and the conversation lulls on his approach. Luckily (or maybe depressingly) he's never been the sort to mind that sort of thing and has his focus on Denji instead of any talk about their likelihood of imminent death, setting his hands on Denji's shoulders and squeezing them.]

All thanks to the great Power. [Or whatever it is. The dullly-stated praise still puts a confident grin on her face as she explains her method of stabbing the fire into submission to the other attendees as Aki keeps his hands on Denji's shoulders, gradually sliding them down to set his elbows on him as if he's the edge of a table or against the top of a fence. There's no actual pressure or force, though - he knows it's highly unlikely Denji could ever hope to hold him up.]

[The slight dip to his posture does give him some closer proximity to Komine, but she's caught up in a conversation with the treasurer now. Something about putting marshmallow on roasted potatoes... His attention turns toward the other topic across the table, a discussion about whether they even need to do homework when school has been shut down for this long, and Aki opens his mouth to begin saying it's better to do it sooner rather than have a repeat of the end-of-summer depression Aki witnessed them all fall into last year... Except he feels a slight nudge of a shift along Denji's body and it isn't a motion done by Denji, himself. Not him leaning over or leaning back or even being shoved by Power. Because it's in the opposite direction. When he glances down, he sees it: Komine's shoulder, lightly bumped up against Denji's, as if nothing at all is unusual about the act.]

[Were it anyone else, he'd think maybe they forgot he was there or something. But this girl...]

[He reaches up and squeezes Denji's cheeks, pinching both of them at once.]

Even this guy's done his homework. You've got no excuses. [There's a brief sense of amusement and some laughter at the sight of Denji with his cheeks pinched, the topic turning a little more positive. Even Power claims she was given a special assignment to complete that required her to travel to the Han Dynasty and Akane properly calls out that she's been reading too much Three Kingdoms, earning another good laugh from the group.]

[Except Komine, who isn't laughing at all. But Aki doesn't pay her any mind, patting Denji's cheeks as if nothing happened at all.]

damngun: (64)

[personal profile] damngun 2025-05-05 03:41 am (UTC)(link)

[Denji offers his seat as he rushes off to buy something, and Aki starts to say that he can give him some money but shuts up when he sees the way his head is dipped and, most telling, the way his ears are glowing with warmth.]

[Maybe with anyone else, he wouldn't notice such a thing. Or maybe he'd just ignore it. But... Seriously, he's doing Denji a favor, here. This girl isn't a good match for him. She's weird, and too quiet, and - not normal. Which, sure, Denji's the furthest from normal, too. But that's exactly why Aki would prefer he get with someone normal. If he gets with anyone at all. Which he's not going to, for now.]

[Besides, they're moving after Aki graduates, and this girl's not coming.]

[He sits down in Denji's spot as the conversation continues. Komine doesn't say anything to him or at all seem to acknowledge him and after a few minutes also gets up with the excuse that she has to head home for some reason or another. The treasurer says she'll walk with her, safety in numbers and all that, and the boy who had been playfully teasing Denji wonders jokingly if they should have the Mini Hayakawa escort her, too.]

[Aki shuts this down immediately:] Like hell is he walking back on his own. [...Then winces a little when the treasurer shoots him a look.] What, you want me to go with you, too?

["You want Akane to walk back all by herself instead?" one of the boys sneers. Aki grimaces. The treasurer scoffs and says something about being more than capable of taking on a zombie by herself and Aki quickly interrupts:] Let's go, let's just go...

[Before Denji gets back. Before Denji gets any idea of joining. It'll be near dusk by the time he walks to both of their homes and back, and Aki has no desire to have any of the other students deal with that. Pointing his finger at the others, he tells them to go home in a group like Public Safety says, then follows the two girls up the street, away from the vending machines.]

cradled: (many years passed since then)

3/3

[personal profile] cradled 2025-05-06 12:32 am (UTC)(link)
[ Shortly after. ]

Human! Do you think me a garbage lord? Pick up your trash on your own!
damngun: (74)

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[personal profile] damngun 2025-05-12 03:24 am (UTC)(link)

["You really think something bad would happen, just walking a few blocks over?" t the treasurer sks when they're far enough away from the home. Aki shrugs his shoulders. They already passed a guy in a suit that looked suspiciously padded - Public Safety, without a doubt. Everyone knows they're crawling around the city. But what does that matter? People die when Public Safety is around, too. "Better to be in a group," is all he says. Akane hums, then turns to Komine and asks, "Hey, didn't you have a scarf? Did you forget it?"

"I gave it to someone else," she replies, her eyes glancing briefly at Aki, knowing he knows. And just like that, he takes the bait.

"Why did you give it to him?" he asks, almost demanding, enough that Akane shoots him a look for his tone. Komine looks away, her brow fretting. "My brother - Denji. You gave it to him."

"Did you want it, instead?" she says quietly. Aki rolls his eyes. "He looked lonely. I thought he could use a pick-me-up. That's all..."

"You sound jealous," Akane says, a tone of humor hiding her obvious annoyance at how Aki is speaking to her friend. "Your little brother's always getting into trouble - I heard he was the one who tried to start that find-a-girlfriend club or whatever, right? So why are you mad a girl's finally talking to him? Even if it's out of pity."

"You're not even really related," Komine mutters. Aki feels his fist tighten as he pockets them both. Akane's lip twitches as if she knows it's not the best thing to say, but Aki is the enemy right now, so she doesn't scold her.

"Don't bother him if it's just out of pity," he says at last. "He gets enough of it from me."]

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