digestate: AHHHHHH 🐧 (52 ▮ woof!)
Denji ([personal profile] digestate) wrote in [community profile] windfall2023-09-23 05:22 pm

what i desire most, what i fear most



we can just treat this as our misc csm cupboard 💕
lifesapping: (wish I was dying in 2 years)

[personal profile] lifesapping 2024-02-19 09:44 pm (UTC)(link)
[...No, it doesn't make sense. His power has no qualm with overwriting the claims of other devils. And if he gave his life to anyone else, like with the curse devil, then he would simply drop dead once surrendered. So what is it?]

[Angel flexes his fingers and seems to be considering touching Denji again despite his clear frustration with it... But he's reminded of how he felt last night, grabbed and yanked and patted all over. No, he'd rather not welcome the comparison.]

...It's strange. I've never touched a human without watching them die.

[So he's never been able to focus on the feeling of the touch. The texture of his skin, the warmth coming out of it, the feeling of callouses on his palm. Do all humans feel like that?]

[He holds his hand up, palm facing Denji, a sign that would mean Stop if not for what he says next.]

You try, here. I want to know what I feel like.
lifesapping: (please just let me take a nap)

[personal profile] lifesapping 2024-02-20 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
[The idea that he could feel what his skin is like through the act of touching himself... It's odd, to Angel. It would be like feeling the texture of cloth when covered by another layer of it. It's too distant, not easily understood. But Denji's skin is so easy to understand. So different from what he has felt. How thin his fingers are, how firm his palm is. He stares at their union while Denji explains what it feels like to touch him and, for some really weird reason, he kind of wonders what Denji might taste like, too.]

[He lets his hand drop after a moment, still staring openly at the inches of exposed skin below the roll of Denji's sleeve. Different. He says he feels the same as any person, but Denji isn't squishy, isn't like fondant covering a moist cake. It's hard to comprehend. Like being able to touch a cloud without it dissipating beneath your fingers. Melting into cold vapor. No, Denji can't understand that, he knows.]

[So why does it have to be Denji who has to be the one to feel him?]

[The other side of the coin of touching: being touched. Simple things he hid himself away from, if not out of distaste then out of practicality. Yes, he hates humans, of course he does, of course. But the idea has crossed his mind. Once or twice, sure. The idea of someone touching him and Angel not minding it, them not being hurt by it. Taking his hand, rubbing something off his cheek, touching - the act of being felt.]

[And here stands Denji, capable of all those things and more. Why? Divine intervention? This is a cruel blessing, if that's the case.]

I wonder why it's you, then. Who can touch me without being hurt.
lifesapping: (huh.)

[personal profile] lifesapping 2024-02-23 05:49 am (UTC)(link)
[It is what it is. Sometimes it feels depressing to have the same idea about life as Denji. Even though he lives a life seeing the glass as half full and Angel sees it half empty, their words sometimes align in odd ways.]

Moving...

[That's right, he was following Denji to something. What was it he wanted to do...? Something about an arcade? He has no idea what they'll do at an arcade, but he's pretty sure he mentioned something about a cafe, too. Maybe he can get him to buy him more food. Because yes, even after eating one of everything the concession stand had to offer, he can still eat more. And he hasn't even had to piss yet.]

...Yeah. I'm ready.

[And he is. This time he can stay close to Denji, not separated by other people as he doesn't need to avoid him as much. Doesn't need to keep his distance, and in fact, doesn't need to keep any distance. He keeps pace with him easily, and with it, wonders how close is too close, anyway. For someone who has spent most of his life staying a polite distance away to avoid possible contact, the sudden dropping of that guard is strange. He could just reach down and grab Denji's hand if he wanted to. And his own does brush against it every now and then, like he's testing it. Seeing if it really still doesn't kill him. How the tables have turned.]

[It's not that his halo is glowing brighter now. More like it's gone more white than yellow.]

Do you have some kind of card for an arcade, too? [Last time he had Aki's money cards, this time he had something on his phone to get all that food. Denji must be made of discount cards.]
lifesapping: (college recommendation letters)

[personal profile] lifesapping 2024-02-26 06:25 am (UTC)(link)
[He has so many cards. Angel watches him dig through his wallet for the missing arcade card and can't help but wonder if this is common for a human to have so many cards. Compared to Aki Hayakawa's wallet, it's thick and plentiful... Does that mean it's unusual to have a lot of cards? He's pretty sure he's only ever seen him use one or two, usually he pays for things with cash... Then again, he doesn't really consider Aki Hayakawa a shining beacon of normalcy in human society, so this really feels like comparing apples to oranges right now. And a normal human may as well be a carrot or something.]

Ehh... I don't like picking stuff.

[Naturally, he denies the chance. Angel lets his eyes trail through the arcade, not moving from his spot to get a better look at anything in specific...]

[...until his eyes land on the last thing Denji mentioned, staring at it as it plays its little idle movements. Every now and then, a black-colored monster pops out, a big "D" written on its front. It has evil-looking red eyes and a big, toothy smirk. He watches it pop up in different holes as the automatic tinny voice orders, Slay the devil!]

That thing?

[Does he come here for training or something...?]

Why do you like it so much? It looks like work to me.

[As in, their job. Why would Denji do his job on his days off?]
lifesapping: (huh.)

[personal profile] lifesapping 2024-02-27 05:34 am (UTC)(link)
[Yeah, he's heard of fun. That's what he assumed an arcade was full of. Instead it's noisy, cramped, and the floor is a little bit sticky in some spots. Angel follows Denji to the machine, watching the youngsters do their best at the fight, but he's following the devils more than the hammers. Pop, pop, pop... Slowly, his head begins to tilt, eyes trained on the left-most machine.]

It's in a pattern.

[He points at it as the boy on the right grins as he wins, the other boy demanding a second go. They don't even look at Denji or Angel as they both push a couple tokens into the machines and the fight begins anew. As it starts up, Angel again points to the left-most machine.]

Look... Every five devils, it goes to the top left corner, then moves down two, and over two. Then it goes to the center, and goes down one. Then, it...

[As Angel speaks, the machine does just as he predicts, following the pattern he voices from his brief watching. Every now and then it pops up in a semi-random spot, but Angel figures even that must have some kind of rationale to it. Maybe the pattern isn't so obvious anyone could figure it out after one or two observations, but Angel frowns like he's watching someone struggle over tying a basic knot.]

This looks way too easy, with that kind of logic to it.
lifesapping: (dropped it)

[personal profile] lifesapping 2024-03-03 05:07 pm (UTC)(link)
[What the hell. He thought he'd be happy to know the rules of the game so he could cheat or something. He did that during the card game, didn't he? What about this is so different? But Angel doesn't ask, staring down at the holes in the machine that the devil occasionally pops out of to entice people to come over and play. It's not like he's never been flipped off before, but something about how Denji didn't find his observational ability useful is annoying to him.]

...I'll do it blindfolded, but I'm not gonna do the other stuff.

[Though he has a reason for accepting the first option, he also assumes that giving Denji some kind of win will make him more liable to accept.]

Besides, if you break the machine, you'll get in trouble.
lifesapping: (geroi)

[personal profile] lifesapping 2024-03-04 02:09 am (UTC)(link)
[Again Angel's instincts act and he begins to step away when Denji moves in close, grabbing his tie in a rush and too quickly for him to avoid. Once he understands what he's doing he allows it, arms hanging by his side as he watches him undo the knot, then gives him a brief but uncertain stare when he tells him to turn around.]

[In truth, he was going to cheat. He was going to let Denji blindfold himself and then take his own off and pretend he'd left it on. But now, he doesn't have much of a choice. He stands still with his back to him, waiting for him to loop the tie over his eyes, but the way he starts brushing at his unkempt hair and curling it all behind his ears is such an unnatural and strange feeling that he almost bolts at just that. His brain keeps shouting at him to move, to stop him, and he has to actively stand in place when his fingers go over his cheeks to place the tie over his eyes and then knot it in place behind his head. Unable to see the knotwork, he can only assume he's done when he raises a hand to touch the edge of the tie, turning around to face where he assumes Denji is - but he's about 30 degrees off-center, facing his left side rather than his face.]

And what are you going to use? ...Are you going to cheat? [The realization hits him as he reaches to lift the tie slightly, aiming to give him a look. How this went from him thinking he was going to only pretend to play to now being irked at the idea he might cheat is anyone's guess.]
lifesapping: (dropped it)

[personal profile] lifesapping 2024-03-05 06:26 am (UTC)(link)
[It's clear what his intention is, but immediately Angel reacts with a swipe of his arms, slapping at Denji to get off as he groans a disagreeable noise. He'd allowed him to readjust the blindfold without fight and he certainly didn't push him away like this while undoing his tie, so obviously this is different.]

Not like that - That hurts. Don't yank on them...

[His wings, that is, the scapulae getting tugged hard by his motion when he knows Denji needs to lift up, not down. For an alleged genius, he really doesn't understand the most simple of things. Angel pulls the jacket off properly, letting his arm slide out on the left side and pulling his wing through the sewn slit open in the back before repeating with his right side, careful but practiced, something he's done hundreds of times. Though it's always felt unnatural, like something he doesn't need to wear, he doesn't really have other choices. No one lets him go around shirtless, nor does he have much of a desire to when it gets so cold here in Tokyo. On a day like today, however, when it's warm and sunny... Being shirtless wouldn't be so bad.]

[But he would definitely be a much larger risk with the added surface area of life-sucking skin exposed to be touched. So maybe it's for the best he just wears his uniform even on days off.]

Here. Don't mess it up, or rip it, or anything... [And he holds it out to him, still blind and not minding at all that he looks rumpled and messy with his hair sticking up around the tie, unironed shirt no longer tucked in, and perpetual frown on his face. An ideal opponent for blind slay-a-devil.]
lifesapping: (mogu mogu)

[personal profile] lifesapping 2024-03-07 05:41 am (UTC)(link)
[The pause as Denji stares at him isn't noticed, Angel under the assumption that Denji must be blindfolding himself. He reaches around vaguely while he does, trying to find the front of the machine, but then Denji grabs him by the wrist and positions him correctly, allowing him to find the mallet next. Really, a mallet... He doesn't think something like this is the right thing to teach children how to kill devils. First of all, do kids even have access to mallets?]

Alright, alright... [Denji sounds so eager about this, like he actually wants this to be a competition. Angel can't figure out why he cares so much, enough to ensure it's "fair" by blinding the two of them. Even without a blindfold, he still knows the timing and pattern of the little dolls, so can't he just follow along?]

[But when the countdown finishes and the machine commands them to slay dem devils, Angel swats his mallet down and hits a flat machine. He can hear the sound of the puppet popping up above him and reasons it will be below that spot the next time, so he swings towards that area next and hits a flat machine again. Frowning, he attempts to keep predicting where the devil will show up but all in all hits maybe five out of the twenty or so targets. Around him, he can hear some of the others humans wondering what's going on, if this is some kind of game show, but then where are the cameras? When the music finally ends and the voice from the machine says, "Too bad, Player Two! Player One Wins!" Angel finally reaches up to push the tie off his eyes, frowning up at his score before looking at Denji's. He doesn't know which one of them was which player - was he machine number one or two...?]
lifesapping: (dropped it)

[personal profile] lifesapping 2024-03-08 06:43 am (UTC)(link)
[...What, he actually won?]

[Angel looks down at the mallet in his hand, then down at the five tickets that spill out of the machine when Denji points. Doesn't seem like that many, but he replaces the hammer where it belongs and tugs the tickets out, looking them over once he tugs the tie down around his neck, not bothering to undo the knot Denji made and instead simply letting the two long lengths fall in front of him as he stares at the little text on each stub.]

...Oh, I see. Each one of these... [He kind of trails off, now raising his head to look where Denji is pointing at the row of prizes - stuffed animals, some kind of plastic sword, buckets of candy, and other little knick knacks. As he takes in the sheer array of prizes, his face draws a little tight, like he doesn't believe him.] ...Gets you one of those?

[But that doesn't seem right. The economy would collapse under that. Still, there's a sense of brief hope as he thinks that maybe this is why Denji likes this place so much.]

Like... that? [And he points at the largest item, an oversized animal thing sitting on top of the shelf behind the guy at the counter, nearly twice the size of Angel, but he sees it probably the same time Denji does - the little sign that says that prize costs a million tickets. All the other options are much more affordable, but Angel's demeanor sinks, disappointment covering him.] What, I could have gotten a million points if you'd have let me do it with my eyes...
lifesapping: (huh.)

[personal profile] lifesapping 2024-03-12 04:51 am (UTC)(link)
[Huh. Is this some kind of animal he's never heard of before? Angel wasn't actually too interested in the stuffed toy itself, more in shock with the idea of the economy being in such shambles, but he looks at the strip of tickets in his hand, running his thumb over each one to count. Five. That's still way too few tickets. All the big stuff is well in the hundreds.]

So it really is just like the economy outside... [And what would he, a devil with no paycheck and no access to the news, know about that? He approaches the counter where the smaller items are listed for sale in the display case. Tiny things, stuff that would probably break in a few uses, but things nonetheless. He squats down to look at the lowest shelf, finally pointing at the stack of blind boxes way in the back. Each one is marked for five tickets.]

What are those? [He was too far away when Denji was looking at Sonny Angel figures earlier, but blind boxes seem to fill the shelves here, too. And since Denji seems to know a lot about this place, he turns to look at him and ask,] What do they do?
lifesapping: (wish I was dying in 2 years)

[personal profile] lifesapping 2024-03-15 03:53 am (UTC)(link)
[Angel tilts his head to the side as Denji attempts to read out the name of the little figure.] You can't read that, Chainsaw-kun? [Not that he's insulting him, or sounds at all judgmental. He's just surprised.] It says "Smiski." It sounds like something from the west.

[...Why he knows that, or can read the Latin characters well enough to pronounce it properly, is anyone's guess. Certainly not his own. And while he passes a look at a few of the others, notably the one Denji points out that Power likes, he passes them all over with a shrug. He doesn't really get the point of them, but he does know he'd be annoyed if Power stole something of his, so he's not about to get one she likes. And he's ready to decide on the strange little glowing man when one lonesome box near the back catches his eye and he reaches out to pick it up, humming in surprise.] This one has mice.

[He turns it over, looking at each little possible outcome, tilting it this way and that like he can suss out what's inside. He had no idea so many little figures like this existed, and for such little purpose. Denji said they're just to place somewhere and have stare at you...? Seems like an odd thing to own.]

Looks like a city mouse, though, huh...

[Ahh, Denji probably doesn't know what that story is. He pulls himself to his feet, putting the box on the counter as the man behind it notices them - and what Angel is - at long last, shock snapping into his expression as Angel sets the tickets beside the box. The guy kind of nods at him, clearly not expecting a devil to abide by the rules of an arcade economy, and accepts the tickets. Angel works at straightening up his clothes at long last, looking over at Denji and holding his hand out.] Jacket.

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