[With Denji so close to him, he can feel the vibration of his body every time he speaks, the sound waves in the air and the breath from his lungs as he tells Aki there would be nothing left for him to do once Aki is gone. If Power were still here, he wants to ask, would he feel differently? What about Makima?]
[But a part of him rejects the idea of hearing Denji's responses to those questions. It shouldn't matter. It's not the point.]
You used to go so crazy, talking about your dreams, and your desires.
[He still remembers when he was screaming about a dream battle when he picked him up that one time. Has listened to him fantasize about touching boobs, seeing a real woman naked. Having sex. All those shallow, vapid dreams. They were shallow and vapid, but over time, they changed, too, didn't they? Doesn't he have new dreams now? And can't they be anything but throwing himself in harm's way?]
I can't see you moping around just because I'm not here. That devil is here, and you've got to finish school, and...
[He trails off. Doesn't plant any ideas about what Denji will do after high school. It's a weirdly nebulous idea, to even imagine him standing there with a degree. Who would go with him? That devil? Kishibe? ...Probably not Kishibe.]
...Just for once, I wish you cared about something long-term. Something that will matter years from now. Something you can build toward, and be proud of.
[It feels too much like he's lecturing himself. And because of that, he knows it's a shallow thing for him to say. If someone said that to him at Denji's age, he would have been furious. Even if his goal was short-sighted, it was all he cared about for so long. Being told to ditch it in favor of something as bland and vague as a normal life would be an insult. Because why would he, after all he'd been through, ever want anything like that? He only now has the benefit of hindsight. But even with it... What would he have changed?]
[He sighs. Leans his head down to drop it on Denji's shoulder.]
But I'm the last person who should tell you that. [At least he's aware enough to admit it.]
no subject
[With Denji so close to him, he can feel the vibration of his body every time he speaks, the sound waves in the air and the breath from his lungs as he tells Aki there would be nothing left for him to do once Aki is gone. If Power were still here, he wants to ask, would he feel differently? What about Makima?]
[But a part of him rejects the idea of hearing Denji's responses to those questions. It shouldn't matter. It's not the point.]
You used to go so crazy, talking about your dreams, and your desires.
[He still remembers when he was screaming about a dream battle when he picked him up that one time. Has listened to him fantasize about touching boobs, seeing a real woman naked. Having sex. All those shallow, vapid dreams. They were shallow and vapid, but over time, they changed, too, didn't they? Doesn't he have new dreams now? And can't they be anything but throwing himself in harm's way?]
I can't see you moping around just because I'm not here. That devil is here, and you've got to finish school, and...
[He trails off. Doesn't plant any ideas about what Denji will do after high school. It's a weirdly nebulous idea, to even imagine him standing there with a degree. Who would go with him? That devil? Kishibe? ...Probably not Kishibe.]
...Just for once, I wish you cared about something long-term. Something that will matter years from now. Something you can build toward, and be proud of.
[It feels too much like he's lecturing himself. And because of that, he knows it's a shallow thing for him to say. If someone said that to him at Denji's age, he would have been furious. Even if his goal was short-sighted, it was all he cared about for so long. Being told to ditch it in favor of something as bland and vague as a normal life would be an insult. Because why would he, after all he'd been through, ever want anything like that? He only now has the benefit of hindsight. But even with it... What would he have changed?]
[He sighs. Leans his head down to drop it on Denji's shoulder.]
But I'm the last person who should tell you that. [At least he's aware enough to admit it.]